Making Wedding Decisions: A Guide For The Soon-To-Be-Married

Planning a wedding can be a fun and exciting experience, but it can also be a stressful one. There are many decisions to be made, from the guest list to the venue, and it can be difficult to know where to start. The first step is to set a budget and decide on the size of the wedding. This will help narrow down venue options and identify variable costs such as catering and rentals. It's also important to involve your partner in the decision-making process, especially when it comes to choosing the wedding party, the processional and first dance songs, and the ceremony style and vows. Other key decisions include whether to have a religious ceremony, the time of year and location for the wedding, and whether to hire a wedding planner. With a clear plan and good communication, couples can navigate the complexities of wedding planning and create a memorable day that truly reflects their vision and beliefs.

Budget

Figure Out Who's Contributing:

It is essential to know who will be contributing financially to your wedding. This could include you, your fiancé, parents, or other family members. Have open and respectful conversations about how much each party is willing to spend and what specific aspects they would like to cover. Be prepared for some contributors to decline, and don't feel pressured to accept financial assistance if it comes with strings attached.

Determine Your Own Contribution:

Once you know how much help you'll receive, focus on your own finances. Calculate how much you and your fiancé can comfortably afford, considering your monthly income, savings, and expenses. This step will give you a clear picture of your financial capabilities.

Estimate Guest Count:

The cost of a wedding is largely dependent on the number of guests. A higher guest count means larger venues, more food, more alcohol, and increased costs for items like invitations, rentals, and wedding favors. Therefore, being strategic about your guest list is an effective way to manage your budget.

Choose Your Non-Negotiables:

Discuss with your fiancé what aspects of the wedding are most important to each of you. These could include an open bar, gourmet meals, a live band, or a specific venue. Allocate a larger percentage of your budget to these priorities, which will also help determine how much you can spend on other areas.

Research and Plan:

Educate yourself about hidden costs, such as cake-cutting fees, setup and breakdown charges, and vendor tips. Research the prices in your desired geographical area and season, as costs can vary significantly. Create a spreadsheet to track expenses and allot specific amounts to each aspect of the event.

Stick to Your Budget:

It is crucial to prioritize sticking to your budget to avoid financial stress. Be creative and focus on what matters most, like the moments shared with loved ones. You can still have a magical wedding day without overspending.

Sensible Spending Tips:

• Start saving as soon as you get engaged.
• Use credit cards responsibly and pay off balances to avoid interest.
• Open a separate wedding checking account for better financial oversight.
• Look for wedding deals, discounts, and off-peak prices.

Remember, it's not about how much money you spend but the joy and memories you create. You can have a beautiful and meaningful wedding within your budget!

Guest list

Creating a guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task, but it's an important one as it will impact your budget, venue, and other wedding elements. Here are some tips to help you tackle your guest list like a pro:

Start with a Realistic Budget

The number of guests you invite will have a significant impact on your wedding budget. It will determine how many people you need to feed, how many place settings and centerpieces you need, and even what type of venue you can consider. Therefore, it's crucial to set a realistic budget before deciding on the number of invites you'll be sending out.

Identify Decision-Makers

While the guest list is ultimately up to you and your partner, it's considered polite to include other parties who are contributing financially, such as parents or grandparents, in the decision-making process. In a traditional gathering, the couple and both sets of parents are usually involved, with each set of parents getting a third of the guest list and the couple getting the remaining third. However, you can always divide the list in a way that works best for you.

Write Down Everyone You Want There

Start by making a list of everyone you'd like to be present at your wedding, from immediate family and close friends to more distant relatives and acquaintances. This will be your master list, which you can then trim down based on your budget and venue constraints.

Create Levels or Tiers

Creating tiers or levels within your guest list can help you organize your thoughts and make tough decisions. Start with one category, such as family, and decide how far you want to go. For example, you might include parents and siblings, but what about cousins, aunts, and uncles? Putting people into tiers gives you a clear cutoff and makes it easier to explain to someone why they weren't invited.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

Focus on your closest loved ones and immediate family members first. Think about who absolutely must be there, such as parents, siblings, close friends, and grandparents. These are your VIPs, and they should be at the top of your list.

Determine Your Plus-One Policy

Deciding whether or not to allow plus-ones can be tricky. While some people think everyone should be given the option, it's ultimately your decision. If you're worried about the number of guests, you can limit plus-ones to only those in long-term relationships or those you have met before.

Be Mindful of the B-List

A B-list is common in wedding planning, but it should be handled carefully. If you have a B-list, send invitations out early, at least four months in advance, to give yourself time to add B-list guests if needed. Be mindful of groups within the B-list, such as coworkers or friends within the same social circle, to avoid parsing hairs between individuals.

Manage Your Parents' Expectations

If your parents are contributing financially, it's important to respect their input on the guest list. However, it's also crucial to set boundaries and stick to them to minimize family drama. Be honest and upfront about your preferences, and don't be afraid to have difficult conversations to keep the guest list under control.

Consider an Adults-Only Wedding

Inviting children can significantly increase your guest count. Consider whether you want children at your wedding or if you're doing it to satisfy others. An adults-only wedding can help keep your guest list numbers lower.

Run the Numbers

Consider the space constraints of your venue and do a final estimate of how many guests you can accommodate. Also, calculate the cost per person by factoring in catering, rentals, favors, and travel expenses. This will help you determine how many guests you can invite within your budget.

Use a Guest List Management Tool

To make the process easier, consider using a wedding guest list app or spreadsheet. Electronic guest lists are easy to share and update, and they can help you keep track of RSVPs, addresses, and other important information.

Creating your wedding guest list may not always be smooth sailing, but by following these tips and having honest conversations with your loved ones, you'll be well on your way to crafting the perfect guest list for your big day.

Venue

Deciding on a wedding venue is one of the most important and earliest decisions to make when planning a wedding. The venue will influence many other aspects of the wedding, including the vendors, decor, attire, and even the date. Here are some detailed and instructive tips to help you choose the perfect venue for your special day:

Start Early

It is recommended to start your venue search at least a year in advance, as venues tend to get booked up quickly, especially during peak wedding seasons. Starting early gives you a better chance of finding your dream venue and securing your preferred date.

Location, Location, Location!

When choosing a location, consider your guests' convenience. How accessible is the venue for those travelling? Is it close to an airport or accommodation options? Is it easy to navigate to, or is it off the beaten path? If it's in a remote location, provide detailed travel information on your wedding website and invitations.

Size and Budget

The venue should be able to accommodate your expected guest count comfortably. Ensure there is ample room for tables, seating arrangements, a dance floor, and enough space for guests to move around. The venue will likely be one of the biggest expenses, so be sure to set a budget and find a place that fits within your financial plan.

Wedding Style

Before starting your search, determine the style and theme of your wedding. Do you want a formal or casual event? Indoors or outdoors? Modern or free-spirited? Understanding your wedding style will help narrow down your venue options and ensure the venue complements your vision.

Must-Haves and Priorities

Create a list of must-haves and priorities for your venue. This could include a stunning view, in-house catering, the ability to bring your own alcohol, exclusive use of the venue, or an on-site getting-ready suite. Communicate these priorities to the venues you're considering to see if they can accommodate your requests.

Restrictions and Inclusions

Be aware of any restrictions the venue may have, such as policies on live music, pets, or specific types of decorations. Also, inquire about what is included in the venue rental. Some venues are all-inclusive, providing catering, bar service, rentals, and other perks, while others may be more basic and require you to bring in many of your own items.

Backup Plans

Especially for outdoor venues, it is crucial to have a backup plan in case of inclement weather. Ask about indoor spaces or alternative arrangements the venue can provide to ensure a smooth flow on your wedding day, regardless of the weather.

Reviews and Recommendations

Do your research by reading reviews on sites like WeddingWire and The Knot. Solicit recommendations from friends and family who have planned weddings, but remember to consider their tastes and budgets may differ from yours.

Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, choose a venue that feels right and aligns with your vision. Select a place that gives you those warm fuzzies and makes you feel excited about your special day.

Happy venue hunting!

Honeymoon

Planning your honeymoon is an important part of the wedding process. Here is a guide to help you make those honeymoon decisions:

Planning and Budgeting

Start planning your honeymoon at least six to eight months in advance. This gives you enough time to choose your destination, book flights and accommodation, and make any other necessary arrangements. Begin by determining your budget. Work out how much you can afford to spend on the trip, and what you are willing to spend. This will impact the location, duration, and activities of your honeymoon.

Discussing Your Desires

Communication is key. Discuss with your partner what type of honeymoon you both desire. Are you looking for adventure, relaxation, or a mix of both? Do you want to visit a once-in-a-lifetime destination, or opt for a mini-moon to a unique regional spot? Knowing each other's preferences will make planning easier and ensure you are both on the same page.

Researching Your Destination

Once you have decided on a location, research it thoroughly. Look into the best times to visit, taking into account the weather, local customs, and attractions. Consider the season and whether it will be high or low season at your chosen destination, as this will impact crowds and pricing. Research any potential weather disruptions and local crises that may impact your trip.

Seeking Expert Advice and Booking

If you are unsure or need assistance, consult a travel agent. They can provide valuable insights and help you find packages tailored to your preferences. Secure your accommodations, flights, and activities well in advance to get better pricing and ensure you get your first-choice options.

Creating a Packing List

Create a packing list and be sure to include essentials like passports, travel documents, and any necessary medications. Pack according to the climate of your destination and the activities you plan to do.

Planning Surprise Moments

Surprise your spouse with thoughtful gestures during your trip. Whether it is a romantic dinner or a surprise excursion, these moments will make your honeymoon extra special and memorable.

Unplugging Occasionally

While it is tempting to document every moment on social media, remember to unplug and savour the real-life experiences. Put away your devices during special moments to fully connect with your partner and enjoy your honeymoon.

Avoiding Procrastination

Don't wait until the last minute to plan your honeymoon. Popular destinations and accommodations can book up quickly, leaving you with limited options. Have a plan, and book it early so that once your wedding is over, you can look forward to your honeymoon stress-free.

Your honeymoon is a special trip to celebrate your love and the beginning of a new chapter. With careful planning and these tips in mind, you can create a romantic and memorable getaway.

Ceremony style

Deciding on the ceremony style is one of the most important aspects of wedding planning. It is the time to honour your love story and set the tone for the rest of the celebration. Here are some tips and ideas to help you create a memorable and personalised ceremony:

Choose a Religious or Non-Religious Ceremony

The first step is to decide whether you want a religious or non-denominational ceremony. This is a crucial decision that should be made together with your partner, as it may have a significant impact on the overall style and atmosphere of your wedding. If you choose a religious ceremony, you will need to select a place of worship, such as a church, synagogue, or temple, and involve a religious leader in your proceedings. On the other hand, a non-denominational ceremony offers more flexibility in terms of location and structure, and you can even ask a friend or family member to become ordained and officiate your wedding.

Select the Type of Ceremony

Within the umbrella of religious and non-religious ceremonies, there are various types of ceremonies to choose from. For instance, a Catholic mass includes specific elements such as hymns, prayers, and readings from the Old and New Testaments. In contrast, a Jewish wedding involves signing the Ketubah (marriage contract), veiling the bride, and exchanging rings under the chuppah (wedding canopy). Hindu weddings traditionally involve several rituals like the Ganesh Puja (prayer for dispelling evils) and the Baraat (groom's arrival). Understanding the specific rituals and requirements of each type of ceremony will help you make an informed decision that aligns with your beliefs and cultural background.

Personalise the Ceremony

Regardless of the type of ceremony you choose, there are numerous ways to make it unique and reflective of your relationship:

• Involve your loved ones: Ask a friend or family member to officiate, or include them in the proceedings by assigning roles such as reading, singing, or sharing marriage advice.
• Customise the processional: Instead of a traditional bridal party entrance, consider walking down the aisle with your partner or processing in with your family and friends. You can also switch up the seating arrangement by having guests sit in a circle around the altar.
• Select meaningful music: Choose processional music that holds a special significance for you as a couple. Whether it's a classic ballad, a rock song, or a tune by your favourite artist, ensure it sets the right tone.
• Write your own vows: Crafting your own vows allows you to express your love and commitment in a personalised and romantic way. You can also include unity rituals, such as lighting a candle or planting a tree together, to symbolise the blending of your lives.
• Incorporate favourite themes or objects: Whether it's a favourite quote, a meaningful prop, or a beloved pet, find ways to incorporate these elements into your ceremony. For example, you can display a calligraphed runner with your vows or favourite lyrics behind the altar, or have your rings delivered by a pet turtle!
• Surprise your guests: From pre-ceremony cocktails to post-ceremony parades, there are numerous ways to delight your guests and make your ceremony memorable. Consider hosting pre-wedding activities, offering unique favours or snacks, or including interactive elements like Mad Libs or ribbon wands for guests to wave during the exit.

Remember, your ceremony style is a reflection of your personalities and values. By involving your partner in the decision-making process and adding personal touches, you can create a ceremony that truly celebrates your love story and leaves a lasting impression on you and your guests.

Frequently asked questions