Creating Wedding Card Gifts: Envelope Etiquette

When it comes to weddings, it's customary to bring a gift for the happy couple. While some people prefer to send gifts to the couple's home, others like to bring them to the wedding. If you're bringing a gift to the wedding, it's a good idea to tape a card to it, so the couple knows who it's from. But what do you write on the card and envelope?

If you're struggling for words, don't worry – you don't need to be super creative or worry about your penmanship. A simple, heartfelt message will do. You can include a personal anecdote or a funny memory, or opt for a more traditional or religious message. If you're giving money, it's a good idea to include a card with a personal note, too.

What to write on the envelope

When addressing the envelope of a wedding card, it is important to consider the couple's preferences and your relationship with them. Here are some options and guidelines to help you navigate this:

Addressing the Couple

• If the couple is already married, a traditional approach is to address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the last name of the person you are closest with. However, it is essential not to assume that the bride will change her name. Using both their first names, such as "John Smith & Jane Doe," is a safe option.
• For same-sex couples, you can address the envelope as "To the Mr. and Mr." or "To the Mrs. and Mrs."
• If you are unsure about their last names or name changes, a simple "To the Newlyweds" is a perfect solution.
• If you are close to the couple, you can address the envelope more casually, such as using just their first names, like "Jen and John."

Formality and Tone

• The level of formality in your message depends on your relationship with the couple. For close friends or family, a more casual and light-hearted tone is appropriate.
• For coworkers or more distant acquaintances, a more formal and elegant tone is usually preferred.
• Regardless of the tone, remember to express your genuine emotions and blessings for the couple.

Specific Examples

• "To the Newlyweds"
• "To the New Mr. & Mrs."
• "To the Happy Couple"
• "Congratulations!"
• "Best Wishes"
• "Much Love and Many Blessings"
• "Wishing You a Lifetime of Happiness"
• "May Your Love Grow Stronger Each Year"
• "Cheers to a Lifetime Together"

Remember, the most important aspect is to convey your happiness and best wishes for the couple. You can also include a more detailed message inside the card, expressing your thoughts and emotions more elaborately.

What to write in the card

When writing your wedding card, it's important to address it to both members of the couple. Even if you only know one half of the couple well, the contents of the card should be relevant to both newlyweds. Avoid being too generic and always include a personal note beyond any pre-written message in the card. If you're struggling for words, you could say something like: "I found this card, and these words were exactly how I felt".

If you're close to the couple, you can afford to be more personal and include an inside joke or shared memory. If you're not the best writer, you can ask a friend or family member to check over your message. If you're including a monetary gift, it's a good idea to give a cheque rather than cash, so it can be tracked if it gets lost.

• "Dear [Couple's Names], Congratulations on your wedding day. I wish you a lifetime of health and happiness. Best regards, [Your Name(s)]"
• "Dear [Couple's Names], Thank you for inviting me to share in this special day! May your marriage be filled with success and happiness. Best wishes, [Your Name(s)]"
• "Dear [Couple's Names], Many prayers for a happy and healthy union. May God bless you and grant you all of life’s joys together. With love, [Your Name(s)]"
• "Dear [Couple's Names], I knew something was different about your relationship when Everett let his new girlfriend take the last slice of pumpkin pie without complaining. Lindsey, you’ve been like a sister to me these past few years, and today, I couldn’t be happier to officially call you my sister-in-law. Welcome to the family! Love and congratulations, [Your Name(s)]"
• "Dear [Couple's Names], The greatest hope a parent has for their child is that they find a partner to travel through life with. Today, my daughter/son gains that partner and I gain a son/daughter. May everything that comes next be as filled with joy as this day is. All my love, Mom and/or Dad"

How to address the card to a couple

When addressing a wedding card to a couple, it's important to consider the couple's preferences and what you feel comfortable with. Here are some options and guidelines to help you address the card appropriately:

• Use Their First Names: You can address the card using the couple's first names, such as "Jill and Jack." This option is simple and avoids assumptions about name changes.
• "Mr. and Mrs.": Using "Mr. and Mrs." is a traditional option, but it is important to ensure that the couple is comfortable with this form of address. It is best to use this only if you are certain the couple will be changing their names.
• "The Future Mr. and Mrs.": If you want to acknowledge the upcoming marriage but are unsure about name changes, you can use "The Future Mr. and Mrs." This option is especially useful if the wedding hasn't taken place yet.
• Gender-Neutral Titles: If one or both individuals prefer gender-neutral language, you can use titles like "Mx." instead of "Mr.," "Ms.," or "Miss." For example, "Mx. Sam Li."
• Alphabetical Order: When addressing a couple with the same last name or when you are equally close to both, consider using alphabetical order. For example, "Celine Elgin and Jacqueline Purcell."
• Order of Closeness: If you want to highlight your relationship with one of the individuals, you can list their name first. For example, "Jacqueline Purcell and Celine Elgin."
• Inner Envelope Informality: If you are using inner and outer envelopes, remember that the inner envelope is more informal. You can use first names only or a mix of titles and last names, depending on your preference and the couple's dynamics.
• "To the Newlyweds": If you're unsure about the couple's name preferences, you can use a general phrase like "To the Newlyweds." This option is respectful and celebratory.
• Include Children: If children are invited to the wedding, you can include their names on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly."
• Religious Language: If the couple or your relationship with them is religious, you may want to use religious language in your address. For example, "May God bless you both."
• Personal and Heartfelt: Ultimately, your message should be personal and heartfelt. Share a memory, a joke (avoiding sensitive topics), or a blessing for their future together.

How to give money as a gift

Money is a great wedding gift, and it's becoming more and more common for couples to ask for cash instead of physical gifts. However, it can be tricky to know the best way to give money as a gift. Here are some ideas for how to do it in a thoughtful and creative way.

Firstly, it's best to avoid just handing over an envelope of cash. This can be impractical for the couple and can come across as a little impersonal. Instead, try to add a layer of sentimentality to your gift. One way to do this is to always pair a monetary gift with a card. Write a personal message to the couple, sharing your well-wishes for their future together. You could also include a memory involving the couple, or a joke (just be careful to avoid sensitive topics). If you're not sure what to write, it's a good idea to ask a friend or family member for advice.

If you want to give cash, but don't want to give it at the wedding, you could send it virtually through a digital payment method such as Zelle, Venmo, or Paypal. This means the couple doesn't have to worry about keeping an envelope safe during the event. You could also send a gift card, either for a specific store or a credit card company, so that the couple can choose what to spend it on.

If you want to give cash as a gift but are unable to attend the wedding, you can mail your card and gift anytime between receiving your invitation and a few weeks after the wedding. You could also set up a scheduled payment to arrive in the couple's account on their wedding day.

If you want to give a larger sum of money, you could distribute it over time. For example, you could attach cash to a gift, such as a book, for the couple to open at different milestones, like their five, ten, and fifteen-year anniversaries.

Finally, if you want to give the couple more freedom over how they spend their money, you could put the cash in a bottle and label it as an emergency fund. This gives them the option to hold onto it and only use it if they really need to.

So, while giving money as a wedding gift can be a great choice, it's important to think about how you can make it more personal and ensure it's received securely.

Where to give the card

If you are attending the wedding in person, it is customary to bring a card and gift with you. If you are unable to attend, you can mail your card and gift at any time between receiving the invitation and a few weeks after the wedding.

If you are attending the wedding, it is important to remember not to simply place your envelope in the card box. Instead, you should hand your card to the right person. If there is no gift station or card box, look for the wedding planner or venue manager, who can ensure your card is safely delivered to the bridal suite or another designated place. If there is no event professional, you can give your card to one of the fathers of the couple or the best man. This is because they will likely have pockets in which to keep the card safe.

If you are unable to find any of the above people, or you would prefer not to give your card to them, you can tape your card to your gift. If you do this, it is a good idea to include a smaller card inside the box with your name on it, in case the gift and card become separated.

Frequently asked questions