Making Small Talk At Weddings: A Guide To Conversing

how to make small talk at a wedding

Making small talk at a wedding can be daunting, especially with strangers. However, everyone is there for the couple, so this is a great place to start. Ask people how they know the couple, and this will likely lead to longer conversations and perhaps some entertaining stories. It's also a good idea to ask open-ended questions, such as Where is your favourite place in the world? or What's your favourite food?. Keep the conversation light and positive, and avoid controversial topics like politics and religion. Be mindful of your body language, too: maintain eye contact, smile, and put your phone away.

Characteristics Values
Ask open-ended questions "What do you do for work?", "How long have you been friends with the bride/groom?", "Where are you from?", "How do you know the couple?", "Do you have any embarrassing stories about the couple?", "Are you doing any travel this year?", "What's your favourite place in the world?", "Do you have any pets?", "Do you have any kids?", "How did you meet your date?", "How long are you staying for the wedding?", "What should I do in the city?", "Have you seen any good shows recently?", "Are you going to any more weddings this year?", "What's your favourite food?", "What did you have for breakfast?", "What's the best movie you've seen recently?", "What would your dream wedding look like?", "Where did you grow up?", "What shows do you watch on Netflix?", "How many weddings are you attending this year?"
Be welcoming with body language Carry your drink in your left hand so you're ready to shake someone's hand, look people in the eye when you're talking to them
Be brave and approach people Approach bigger groups of three or more people, as they will be more open to accepting "joiners"
Ask questions to keep the conversation flowing It's important to be interested in the person you're talking to
Avoid dinner table no-nos Don't talk over someone, show interest in others, avoid talking too much about yourself, and don't speak too loudly
Make sure no one is left out of the conversation Repeat what you were discussing with your neighbour and ask a direct follow-up question to include them in the conversation
Be mindful of your alcohol consumption Alcohol can help facilitate new friendships, but be sure to pace yourself as weddings last all day
Introduce yourself to everyone at the table Make eye contact with everyone as you sit down, say hello, and state your name
Avoid contentious issues Stay away from discussing politics and religion, and be careful about asking personal questions
Talk about shared experiences Discuss wedding-related topics such as the couple, the food, the weather, etc.
Listen to other people's replies Ask them to elaborate on something they've alluded to if the conversation starts to stall
Put your phone away Using your phone will make you look unresponsive and rude

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Ask open-ended questions

Asking open-ended questions is a great way to keep the conversation flowing at a wedding. Open-ended questions are those that require more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer and allow the conversation to develop and flow more naturally. They also show that you are interested in getting to know the other person.

  • "How do you know the couple?" This is a classic conversation starter at a wedding. You already have something in common with the other guests—you know the bride or groom, or both. Asking how they know the couple is a simple way to start a conversation and find common ground.
  • "What do you do for work?" Asking about someone's job or career can be a great way to get to know them better and can often lead to interesting discussions about their passions and interests.
  • "Where are you from?" This question can spark a conversation about their hometown, their current city, or their travels. It can also help you find common connections or shared experiences.
  • "How long have you been friends with the bride/groom?" This question shows your interest in the couple and can lead to fun stories or memories about the bride or groom.
  • "Are you travelling this year?" or "Where is somewhere you'd like to travel to?" Asking about travel plans or dream destinations can be a light and enjoyable topic of conversation.
  • "What's your favourite food?" Food is always a great topic of discussion, especially at a wedding where food is often a highlight! This question can lead to fun conversations about favourite restaurants, cooking experiences, or even offer recommendations.

Remember to listen attentively to the answers and ask follow-up questions to show your interest and keep the conversation going.

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Be mindful of personal space

When it comes to personal space, it's important to be aware of the different comfort levels that people have when it comes to physical contact. While some people are comfortable with hugs and kisses, others prefer to keep a respectful distance. A good rule of thumb is to opt for a handshake and a friendly "Hello, nice to meet you!" when you're introduced to someone new. This approach is polite and safe, and you can always give hugs and kisses to people you know well, like old school friends.

If you're not sure what someone's comfort level is, it's always good to ask. You could say something like, "Would you be up for a hug?" or "Shall we shake hands?" This way, you're being mindful of their personal space and giving them the opportunity to choose what they're comfortable with.

Additionally, it's important to be aware of your own personal space as well. If you're not comfortable with physical contact, it's perfectly fine to set boundaries and communicate them to others. You could say something like, "I'm not really a hugger, but it's so nice to meet you!" This way, you're being clear about your preferences while still being friendly and welcoming.

Personal space also extends to more subtle forms of contact, like eye contact and body language. Making eye contact and using welcoming body language can help you seem more approachable and friendly. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms, for example, might signal that you want to be left alone. Be mindful of the messages your body language may be sending, especially if you're trying to encourage conversation and connection.

Lastly, be mindful of personal space when it comes to joining groups of people. While it's great to approach larger groups to meet new people, be aware of the dynamics within the group and make sure your presence isn't interrupting a private conversation. Joining a group of three or more people is a good way to ensure that you're not intruding on a one-on-one chat.

By being mindful of personal space, you can help create a comfortable and respectful environment for everyone at the wedding. This consideration will make it easier to initiate conversations and foster connections while also ensuring that everyone's boundaries are respected.

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Compliment others

Compliments are a great way to break the ice and make small talk at a wedding. It's a lovely way to open a conversation with someone, and you can develop the conversation from there.

  • Compliment others genuinely and immediately—you will build a bond with them and put them at ease.
  • Compliment something about their appearance—most people will make an effort to dress up for the occasion, so it's a great way to start a conversation. For example, "I love your shoes! The colour is beautiful. Where did you get them?".
  • Compliment their outfit, hair, makeup, shoes, etc. If they contributed to any DIY wedding details, give them praise for that. A sincere compliment will make others more comfortable and willing to continue the conversation.
  • If you are the bride or groom, help each other to introduce your friends and relatives to one another. Brief each other about these people beforehand so you have some conversation starters.
  • If you are shy, redirect your focus. Listen wholeheartedly to the person you are talking to and keep asking them questions.
  • If you are alone, approach bigger groups of three or more people. They will be more open to accepting "joiners", and you can meet more people quickly.

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Avoid controversial topics

When making small talk at a wedding, it is important to avoid controversial topics such as politics and religion, which could lead to an unpleasant situation. Here are some tips to help you navigate potentially tricky conversations:

  • Steer clear of topics that are known to be divisive or sensitive. This includes politics, religion, and other polarising subjects. Instead, focus on neutral topics that are less likely to cause disagreement.
  • Be mindful of your words and avoid making assumptions about others' beliefs or values. Even if you are passionate about a particular topic, remember that not everyone shares the same views, and it is best to avoid imposing your opinions on others.
  • Keep the conversation light and positive. Weddings are meant to be joyful occasions, so focus on uplifting topics that will make others feel good. Avoid bringing up negative news or controversial issues that might dampen the happy atmosphere.
  • If someone else brings up a controversial topic, politely deflect the conversation towards something more neutral. For example, you could say something like, "I'd prefer not to talk about that right now, but I'd love to hear more about how you know the bride and groom."
  • Be respectful of others' boundaries. If someone indicates that they are uncomfortable with a particular topic, change the subject immediately. It is important to make sure everyone feels included and respected, even if you disagree with their views.
  • Remember that the wedding is a celebration of the couple's love and commitment. Keep the focus on the happy occasion, and avoid bringing up topics that might create tension or conflict.

By following these guidelines, you can help ensure that the wedding remains a pleasant and enjoyable experience for all guests, even when navigating potentially tricky conversations.

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It's easy to fall back on your mid-teens habits at weddings, such as drinking too much, zoning out of conversations, or burying your nose in your phone. However, there are a few things to keep in mind to avoid an awkward situation and make meaningful small talk.

Firstly, it's important to make a good first impression. Break the ice as soon as possible to avoid an uncomfortable atmosphere. Introduce yourself to everyone at the table, make eye contact, and shake hands. This makes it easier for people to include you in the conversation and shows that you're friendly and civil.

Secondly, keep the conversation wedding-related. Talk about shared experiences and try to establish common ground. Ask open-ended questions like "How do you know the couple?", "Have you come far today?", or "How long have you been friends with the bride/groom?". These types of questions are more likely to elicit a response and help build a connection. You can also give compliments to break the ice, such as "I love your shoes! Where did you get them?".

Keep the conversation light and positive, and avoid controversial topics like politics and religion. Be mindful of personal questions about children, partners, or age, as you don't know people's backstories and don't want to offend or upset anyone.

If the conversation stalls, revert to safe topics like the weather, the food, the journey, or the wedding decorations. You can also ask people about their plans, such as "Are you travelling anywhere this year?" or "What are your favourite places in the world?".

Remember to listen attentively to people's replies and ask follow-up questions to show your interest. This will help create a connection and make the conversation flow more naturally.

Frequently asked questions

Start with a friendly hello and introduce yourself. Lead with an open-ended question like "How do you know the couple?" to find common ground and spark a conversation.

Keep the conversation light and casual. Talk about shared experiences, such as how you know the couple, compliment someone's outfit or hair, or discuss the wedding details like the food, decorations, or the couple's first dance. Avoid controversial topics like politics and religion, and be cautious when asking personal questions.

Be interested in the person you're talking to—ask questions and listen to their replies. Use welcoming body language, such as maintaining eye contact and carrying your drink in your left hand to be ready for handshakes. If you're shy, focus on the person you're talking to instead of worrying about what others think of you.

Approach larger groups of three or more people, as they are more open to "joiners." Introduce yourself to everyone at your table, making eye contact and saying hello. Avoid sitting with your phone, as it may signal that you don't want anyone to talk to you.

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