George Boyle
The first night a couple spends together is considered one of the most important in their marital life in Islam. Here are some guidelines and suggestions for the wedding night:
- The husband should meet his wife in a private place without any disturbance.
- The couple's room should be moderately furnished to make the wife comfortable.
- The husband should greet the wife with 'salaam' and shake hands with her.
- The husband should place his hand on the wife's head and recite a 'du'a' or prayer.
- It is advisable for the husband to present a gift to his wife and share refreshments with her.
- The husband should say words of love and engage in light-hearted conversation to make his wife feel happy and loved.
- The couple should pray together and supplicate to Allah for a good marriage.
- Intercourse is not obligatory on the first night and should only occur if both spouses feel ready and willing.
- Foreplay and lubrication are recommended to make the experience more enjoyable and comfortable.
- The couple should maintain privacy and not share intimate details with others.
What You'll Learn
Pray together
Praying together is highly recommended for a couple on their wedding night. It is considered a sacred occasion, and the doors of Allah's mercy are believed to be open at this time.
The couple should pray two rak'at nafl salah, with the husband as the Imam and the wife following behind. The intention should be to express gratitude to Allah for saving them from haram and granting them a suitable spouse.
After the prayer, the husband should place his hand on the forehead or head of his wife and recite the following dua:
> "Allaahumma inni as-aluka min khairihaa wa khairi maa jabaltahaa alaihi wa a'uzu bika min syarrihaa wa syarri maa fiihaa wa sarri maa ja baltahaa alaihi."
> "O Allah, I plead with You for his goodness and the goodness of attitudes (attitudes or behavior) that he carries. And I take refuge from his ugliness and the ugliness of the nature (attitude or behavior) that he carries." (Narrated by Bukhari)
The husband can also make other duas mentioned in the hadith regarding conjugal life.
Additionally, the bride may also recite a dua:
> "Allahumma inni as’aluka min khayrihi wa khayri maa jubila ‘alayhi, wa a’udhu bika min sharrihi wa sharri maa jubila ‘alayhi."
> "O Allah! I seek from You the good and blessings of this man, and the goodness which You have created within him. And I seek Your protection from the evil of this man, and whatever evil You have created in him."
The couple may also recite the following dua together for righteous children:
> "Allahumma bika amantu, wa bika tasammatu, wa ‘alayka tawakkaltu, wa ‘alaqadni wa jawwani, wa anta ar-razzaqu-r-razzaqu, wa anta khairu warithin."
> "O Allah, it is in You that I put my faith, and in You that I seek protection, and it is You that I rely upon, and with Your blessing I have married, and You are the most generous in giving." (Narrated by Ahmad)
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Exchange gifts
Exchanging gifts is a great way to make the first wedding night memorable. Here are some ideas for gifts that you can give to your spouse on your special day:
Chocolates, perfume, or jewellery
These are classic gifts for a reason—who doesn't love receiving them? Chocolates are a sweet treat that can be enjoyed together, while perfume or cologne can be chosen to match your spouse's taste and personality. Jewellery is also a timeless gift that your spouse can cherish for a lifetime. You can even get it engraved with your initials or a meaningful message to add a personal touch.
Personalised gifts
Consider getting creative and personalising your gifts. For example, you could get a framed Islamic calligraphy canvas with both of your names on it, or a set of prayer beads with your spouse's name engraved on them. Personalised mugs with "Zawj" and "Zawjah" (Husband and Wife in Arabic) and your wedding date are also a cute and thoughtful gift.
Vouchers or coupons
If you want to give your spouse the gift of experiences, consider creating personalised vouchers or coupons for coffee dates, afternoon tea, dinners, or even a weekend getaway. You can make these yourself or print them out from websites. This is a great way to show your spouse that you're willing to put in the effort to make them happy.
Quran-related gifts
As the Quran is a sacred text in Islam, gifts related to it can be meaningful and special. You could get a personalised Quran with a customised cover, or a 3D LED lamp in the shape of the Quran. Alternatively, you could get creative and make your own gift, such as a custom Islamic candle set with a specific surah and ayat that is meaningful to your spouse.
Practical gifts
If your spouse has a hobby or interest, consider getting them something related to it. For example, if they're into sketching or drawing, you could get them a set of art supplies. You could also get them something practical that they can use in their daily life, such as a personalised chopping board or a set of cufflinks.
Remember, the most important thing is to put thought and effort into your gift, regardless of your budget. Your spouse will surely appreciate the time and care you put into choosing or creating something special for them.
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Eat sweets
Eating sweets is an important part of the wedding night in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad slaughtered a goat and provided bread for one of his wedding celebrations, and in modern traditions, the menu often includes candies, sweet desserts, and other local fare.
In Islam, it is recommended to keep sweet foods in the room for the couple to eat. The husband and wife can feed each other, helping them to be more intimate with each other. This can also be a great way to start a conversation.
Some sweet foods that are popular at Muslim weddings include:
- Candies
- Sweet desserts
- Sheermal (a mildly sweet or saffron-flavoured naan)
- Fish and chicken
- Borhani (a spicy yogurt drink popular in Bangladesh)
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Groom washes bride's feet
The act of the groom washing the bride's feet is a Sunnah ritual in Islam, derived from the teachings of the Holy Prophet and Ahlulbayt. This act holds profound symbolic significance and is believed to instil a sense of humility, hospitality and service towards one another as they embark on their marital journey together.
On the wedding night, the groom should begin by uncovering his bride's feet and removing any socks or shoes. This initial act symbolises respect and eases the transition as the bride bids farewell to her past life and bids welcome to a new home.
The groom then proceeds to wash his bride's feet with water. This humble gesture is intended to instil confidence and a sense of belonging in the bride, who has left the familiarity of her family home. The same water used for the ritual is then sprinkled in every corner of the room. According to Imam Ali, this act brings seventy kinds of blessings and offers protection against seventy kinds of miseries.
The ritual of the groom washing the bride's feet is not just a physical act but also carries spiritual weight. It is a reminder of the importance of purity and cleanliness in Islam, as mentioned in the Qur'an: "For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean." This spiritual cleansing ritual prepares the couple for their new life together, fostering equality, care and humility in their relationship.
The groom washing the bride's feet is more than a symbolic act; it is a powerful demonstration of the groom's willingness to serve his bride and create a harmonious union. It sets the tone for their marriage, encouraging mutual care and support throughout their life together.
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Groom sprinkles water in room corners
The act of sprinkling water in the four corners of the room by the groom is a significant part of the wedding night rituals in Islam. This act is mentioned in the sources along with other rituals such as the groom washing the bride's feet and offering prayers. Here is a detailed description of the rituals involving the groom sprinkling water in the corners of the room:
The groom should begin by removing the bride's shoes and washing her feet with water. This act of washing the bride's feet is considered a Sunnah of the Holy Prophet and is meant to instil confidence and a sense of belonging in the bride as she enters her new home. After washing the bride's feet, the groom should then sprinkle the same water in all four corners of the room and the house. This act holds great significance as it is believed to bring numerous blessings and protection upon the couple. According to Imam Ali, sprinkling water in this manner brings seventy kinds of blessings and protects against seventy kinds of miseries. Additionally, it is believed that Allah will remove 70,000 types of poverty, and 70,000 types of blessings will enter the house and be bestowed upon the bride and groom. Furthermore, the bride will be safeguarded from insanity, ulcers, and leprosy.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several Islamic traditions that are recommended for the first wedding night. These include offering 2 rak'ah salah with the husband leading as the imam, exchanging gifts, sharing sweet foods, and engaging in conversation to get to know each other better. It is also advised to pray to Allah for a successful marriage and to follow Islamic guidelines for physical intimacy.
No, it is not necessary or obligatory to have intercourse on the first wedding night in Islam. It is more important to ensure that both spouses are comfortable and willing. Intercourse can be saved for when the couple feels ready, and it should be approached with calmness and mutual understanding.
Creating a welcoming atmosphere involves ensuring privacy and seclusion. The husband can greet the wife with "salaam" and a handshake, offer gifts and refreshments, and engage in light-hearted conversation to make their spouse feel loved and at ease. The husband can also wash the bride's feet and sprinkle that water around the room, following the Sunnah of the Prophet.
Foreplay is highly recommended to ensure pleasure for both spouses. Lubrication can also be used to make the experience smoother and more enjoyable. It is important to prioritise the spouse's comfort and willingness, and there should be no pressure or force involved.
