There are many ways to make your brother feel special at your wedding. You could involve him in the wedding party, or, if you want to keep that exclusive to your female friends, you could still include him as an usher. You could also ask him to give a speech or a reading, or even a toast. If you're looking for something more hands-on, you could ask him to help you get ready or build your wedding ceremony arch. If you're yet to find your dream wedding dress, you could ask him for his approval.
What You'll Learn
Include him in the wedding party
There are many ways to include your brother in the wedding party and make him feel special. Here are some ideas to consider:
Include Him in the Bridal Party
If you are particularly close to your brother, it makes sense to include him in the bridal party. You can have him stand by your side as a bridesman or a member of the bridal party. This is a great way to show that he is one of the people closest to you. There is no rule that says your bridal party members have to be women, so feel free to mix things up! You can dress him in an outfit that coordinates with the rest of the bridal party, such as a matching tuxedo or a light grey suit that complements the darker grey suits of the groomsmen. You can also tie him into the bridal party theme by having him wear a tie that matches the bridesmaids' dresses and a boutonniere that matches your bouquet. If you want to go the extra mile, send him down the aisle ahead of you!
Include Him as an Usher
If you want to keep the bridal party exclusive to women, you can still include your brother in the wedding procession as an usher. Ushers play an important role in escorting guests to their seats and handing out programs before the procession. Your brother can then join the procession by walking your grandmother or mother to her seat. If your brother is young at heart, he can also make a great escort for nervous flower girls and ring bearers! For his attire, he can either match the groomsmen or opt for something distinct but coordinated.
Include Him in a Family Processional
If you come from a close-knit family, you may want them by your side as you walk down the aisle. After all the bridal party and groomsmen have processed, honour your family with a family processional. Have your brother, along with your parents and any other siblings, walk down the aisle ahead of you. Then, follow them as you walk down the aisle with both your parents by your side.
Include Him at the Altar
Take inspiration from Jewish wedding traditions, where the couple's families join them at the altar instead of the wedding party. Reserve the front rows for the bridal party and groomsmen, as well as your brother's date if he has one, and ask them to take a seat after their walk down the aisle. Then, have your brother stand at the altar with your parents as you exchange your vows, symbolising their support and the merging of your families. You can even add a family unity ritual, like a unity candle, to emphasise this.
Include Him as a Reader
Right before it's time to exchange vows, ask your brother to stand up and share a few words with your guests. Ask him to read sections from your favourite children's books, such as "Oh! The Places You'll Go", "Winnie the Pooh", or "The Velveteen Rabbit". This is a great way to include your brother and add a personal touch to your ceremony.
Include Him in the Toasts
Although toasts are usually reserved for the maid/bridesmaid of honour and best man/groomsman of honour, there is nothing stopping you from asking your brother to make a toast as well, especially if you are very close. He could speak after your parents' welcome toast or after the maid/bridesmaid of honour and best man/groomsman of honour. Alternatively, he could give his toast during the rehearsal dinner or make it the main event at your morning-after brunch.
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Borrow something from him for your wedding look
Borrowing something from your brother for your wedding look is a great way to make him feel special on your big day. It's also a fun way to honour the age-old wedding tradition of "something borrowed", which is intended to bless your marriage and bring good fortune, fertility, and a lifetime of happiness to your relationship.
- Jewellery: Ask your brother if he has any jewellery that you could incorporate into your wedding look. This could be something he wears regularly, or something that was gifted to him by a loved one. You could wear a necklace, bracelet, or ring that holds special meaning for him.
- Cufflinks: If your brother has a pair of cufflinks, consider borrowing them for your wedding day. You could attach them to your dress, wear them on your sleeves, or even use them as part of your hairstyle.
- Pocket square: A pocket square is a classic accessory for men, and it can add a touch of elegance to your wedding outfit. Ask your brother if you can borrow his pocket square, especially if it's one that he has an emotional attachment to.
- Watch: Borrowing your brother's watch for your wedding day will not only ensure you're on time for all the important moments, but it will also add a touch of sophistication to your look. It could be a watch that holds special meaning for him, or one that he simply likes the look of.
- Tie: Adding a tie to your wedding outfit can be a unique and modern twist. You could borrow a tie from your brother that holds sentimental value, such as one he wore to a milestone event, or one that complements your attire and wedding aesthetic.
Remember, the key to making your brother feel special is involving him and showing that you value his contribution to your big day. So, don't be afraid to ask him what items he'd be happy for you to borrow, and work together to choose something that will make you both feel happy and proud.
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Thank him in your speech
Thanking your brother in a wedding speech is a great way to make him feel special on your big day. Here are some tips to help you craft a heartfelt and meaningful speech:
Start with Gratitude
Begin your speech by expressing your gratitude towards your brother. Thank him for his presence and support on your special day. You can also mention any specific ways he has contributed to the wedding or been there for you during the planning process. This will set a warm and appreciative tone for the rest of your speech.
Share Childhood Memories
Take your brother and the guests on a trip down memory lane by sharing fond childhood memories involving the two of you. Talk about the fun times you had together, the adventures you went on, and the unique bond you share. You can also include light-hearted stories about the arguments or sibling rivalries you had, as long as they are not too embarrassing! These anecdotes will add a personal touch to your speech and remind your brother of the special moments you shared growing up.
Highlight His Positive Traits
Use your speech as an opportunity to celebrate your brother's positive traits and qualities. Talk about his sense of humour, his kindness, or his ability to always be there for you. Share specific examples or stories that showcase his best attributes. This will make your brother feel appreciated and loved.
Express Your Admiration for His Partner
If your brother is the one getting married, be sure to express your admiration and support for his partner. Share a story about how they met or a touching moment between the two of them. Welcome his partner into the family and speak about how happy they make your brother. This will show your brother that you not only care about him but also want the best for his future with his spouse.
Offer Brotherly Advice
As his sibling, you have a unique perspective on your brother's life. Offer him some heartfelt advice for his married life ahead. This could be a funny tip, a meaningful quote, or a piece of wisdom you've learned from your own experiences. Your brother will appreciate your willingness to share your insights and guidance as he embarks on this new chapter of his life.
Raise a Toast
Conclude your speech by raising a toast to your brother and his partner. Wish them a lifetime of happiness, love, and joy. You can also include a sentimental quote or a blessing for their future together. This will leave your brother feeling loved and appreciated, knowing that you are cheering him on as he starts this new journey.
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Give him a role in the ceremony
If you want to make your brother feel special at your wedding, giving him a role in the ceremony is a great idea. Here are some ways to include him:
Bridesman or Member of the Wedding Party
There is no rule that says your wedding party members have to be women. You can nominate your brother as a bridesman or include him in your bridal party. Deck him out in an outfit that coordinates with the rest of the wedding party, such as a matching tuxedo or a light-gray suit that complements the other colours. You can tie him into the bridal party with ties that match the bridesmaids' dresses and boutonnieres that match your bouquet. Send him down the aisle ahead of you to make him feel extra special.
Usher
If you want to keep the bridal party exclusive to women, you can still include your brother as an usher. He can escort guests to their seats, hand out programs, and then walk your grandmother or mother to her seat. If your brother is young at heart, he can also escort nervous flower girls or ring bearers! He can either wear an outfit that matches the groomsmen or something distinct but coordinated.
Family Processional
If you have a close-knit family, you may want them by your side as you walk down the aisle. After the bridal party and groomsmen have processed, honour your parents and siblings with a family processional. Have your brother walk down the aisle ahead of you, and then follow him as you walk with your parents. This moment will also create beautiful photo opportunities.
Reading or Toast
You can ask your brother to share a few words with your guests. He could do a reading from your favourite children's book, such as Oh! The Places You'll Go, Winnie the Pooh, or The Velveteen Rabbit. Alternatively, he could offer a quick toast, even if toasts are usually reserved for the maid/bridal party member of honour and best man/groom party member of honour. Your brother could speak after your parents' welcome toast or during the rehearsal dinner, making his toast the main event.
Escort
If your father is walking you down the aisle, your brother can escort your mother during the processional. This role will make him feel included and will also ensure she has a special moment with her son.
These are just a few ways to give your brother a role in your wedding ceremony. By including him, you can show how much he means to you and make him feel honoured and loved.
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Choreograph a dance with him
If you want to make your brother feel special at your wedding, choreographing a dance with him is a great idea! Here are some tips to help you create a memorable dance routine:
Choose the Right Song
Select a song that is danceable and family-friendly. You can choose a song that goes along with your wedding theme or opt for a childhood favourite for a nostalgic feel. Ensure the song is not too long or boring to watch. Consider mashing up different songs and dance styles to keep it interesting.
Watch and Learn
Start your research by watching a lot of dance videos online and making notes on the different moves and sequences that would work with your chosen song(s). Don't stress about being too original – most dance routines are a mash-up of other people's moves.
Consider Your Venue
Take into account the size and quality of the dance floor at your wedding venue. If you plan to include a large group in your dance, you'll need a spacious dance floor.
Plan the Routine
Once you have an idea of the moves you want to include, start piecing them together. Most songs are in 4/4 time, so you'll usually do any one move for four or eight beats. Write down the various sections of the dance and give them names to make it easier to remember.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Schedule plenty of time to practice before the big day. Performing the dance for a small group of people beforehand can help you get the jitters out and ensure you feel comfortable and confident.
Have Fun!
Remember, the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy the moment. Don't stress too much about the choreography – your guests will love it either way!
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Frequently asked questions
If your brother is the same gender as you, you can still include him in your wedding party. You can nominate your brother as your bridesman or groomslady, and include him in the processional. You can also involve him in choosing your wedding dress.
You can ask your brother to give a speech or a reading during the ceremony. You could also ask him to walk your grandparents down the aisle, or include him in a family processional.
You can thank your brother in your speech, or play a song from your childhood so you can have a dance with him. You could also ask him to be the game master and choose some outdoor wedding games to keep guests entertained.