Make Your Wedding Legal: Marry A Friend Easily

Planning a wedding and want to make it legal with a friend officiating? The requirements vary across states and counties, so it's important to do your research. For non-religious ceremonies, authorized individuals include justices of the peace, court clerks, and active or retired judges. Religious ceremonies, on the other hand, are typically officiated by clergy members like priests, ministers, or rabbis. An increasingly popular option is to have a friend or relative officiate the wedding. Some states, like California and Massachusetts, allow any adult to officiate under specific circumstances. Most states also recognize officiants ordained online by religious groups, though a few states don't recognize these marriages. To ensure your friend can legally officiate, research your state's marriage laws and confirm with the county clerk. Remember, a legal wedding ceremony requires a marriage license and a declaration of intent, so don't forget to handle the necessary paperwork!

Check state laws and county clerk requirements

The laws and requirements for marriage differ across states and counties, so it is essential to research the specific regulations in your state and county. Here is a detailed guide to help you navigate the process and ensure your wedding is legally recognised.

County Clerk Requirements:

Each state has its own set of requirements for obtaining a marriage license, and these can vary between counties. It is important to contact the county clerk's office in the specific county where your wedding will take place to understand their unique procedures. The county clerk will be able to outline the necessary documents, fees, and waiting periods. Some common documents that may be required include:

• Current photo identification, such as a driver's license or passport.
• Proof of citizenship and/or residence.
• Birth certificate to confirm your age.
• Proof of parental or court consent if you are underage.
• Death certificate if you are widowed or a divorce decree if previously married.
• Blood test results, although most states no longer require this.

State Laws:

In addition to county-specific requirements, each state has its own marriage laws that you must comply with. Here are some key aspects to consider:

• Minimum age for marriage without parental consent: Some states, such as Delaware, Pennsylvania, and South Carolina, do not allow marriage for anyone under 18, even with parental consent.
• Residency requirements: While most states do not require residency to obtain a marriage license, some states, like New York, allow anyone to get a license in any county, while others, like Ohio and New Hampshire, require couples to obtain a license in the county where the ceremony will take place.
• Waiting periods: Many states have mandatory waiting periods after the marriage license is issued, ranging from one to five days, to give the couple a final chance to reconsider.
• Witness requirements: Most states require one or two witnesses, along with the officiant and couple, to sign the marriage certificate.
• Officiant recognition: Only specific individuals are authorised to perform weddings, and these vary by state. For non-religious ceremonies, this may include justices of the peace, court clerks, or judges. For religious ceremonies, it is typically a clergy member like a priest, minister, or rabbi. Some states, like California, allow individuals to be deputised for a day to perform civil weddings.
• Declaration of intent: During the ceremony, the officiant must ask the couple if they take each other as spouses, and each person must respond with "I do." This declaration is legally required to formalise the marriage.
• Marriage license handling: It is crucial to obtain the marriage license within the specified timeframe before the wedding and to file it with the county recorder's office promptly after the ceremony.

Ensure your officiant is authorised

The wedding officiant is responsible for making your marriage official, so it's important to ensure that they are authorised to perform weddings in your state or country. The requirements for officiants vary depending on the type of ceremony, the location, and the specific laws of the state or country. Here are some things to keep in mind to ensure your officiant is authorised:

Religious Ceremonies:

If you choose a religious ceremony, your officiant will typically be a member of the clergy, such as a priest, pastor, rabbi, or imam. They may need to be authorised to perform weddings within their religious institution and may also need to register with the local authorities, especially if the wedding is outside their usual jurisdiction. In Native American communities, leaders such as shamans or medicine men may perform religious marriages. It's important to check with the religious institution and local authorities to ensure your officiant is authorised.

Non-religious Ceremonies:

For non-religious or secular ceremonies, various officials can serve as wedding officiants, including justices of the peace, court clerks, active and retired judges, and in some states, notaries public. These officiants are typically authorised by the state or local government and may have specific requirements for registration or licensing.

Online Ordination:

If you want a friend or family member to officiate your wedding, many states recognise people who have been ordained by a religious group online. Interfaith and non-denominational organisations, such as the Universal Life Church or American Marriage Ministries, offer online ordination services. However, it's important to check with the local authorities, as some states and counties may not recognise these ordinations. There may also be requirements for registration, licensing, or time limits on the ordination.

Research and Planning:

To ensure your officiant is authorised, it's important to do your research and plan ahead. Start by researching the marriage laws and requirements of the state or country where the wedding will take place. Contact the local authorities, such as the county clerk, to verify that your chosen officiant is authorised to perform weddings in that jurisdiction. Ask your officiant about their credentials and ensure they have completed any necessary steps, such as registration or licensing. It's also important to allow enough time to obtain the marriage license and handle any necessary paperwork before the wedding.

Remember, the requirements for wedding officiants can vary, so it's always best to check with the relevant authorities and plan ahead to ensure your marriage is legally recognised.

Include a declaration of intent

The declaration of intent is a crucial part of the wedding ceremony. It is a legally required component in certain states, such as California, and is often what makes the difference between a legally binding wedding and a commitment ceremony. This declaration is the moment when the officiant asks the couple if they take each other as their wedded spouse, to which the couple responds, "I do" or "I will". This is to affirm their desire to get married and their willingness to enter the marriage of their own free will. While the exact wording can be tweaked to fit the couple's preferences, religion, or culture, the declaration of intent is generally quite standardised.

The declaration of intent is more than just ceremonial; it carries legal weight and is necessary to formalise the marriage. It is the verbal equivalent of signing a marriage license and is required by law in many states. Even in states where it is not explicitly mandated, including this declaration is a good idea to ensure the marriage is valid. This is especially important because, in some states, an officiant who marries a couple without a valid license can face legal consequences.

The declaration of intent is typically asked by the officiant and confirmed by the couple. The standard script often follows the format:

> Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife/spouse], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honour and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?

The couple's response, "I do" or "I will", signifies their agreement to the marriage and their intention to be legally bound to their partner.

The declaration of intent should not be confused with the exchange of vows, which is also an important part of the wedding ceremony. While the declaration of intent solidifies the couple's commitment, the vows express their commitment and the promises they are making to each other. The vows are an opportunity for the couple to share their unique love story and the promises they are making to uphold their commitment in marriage.

In a secular wedding ceremony, the typical order of proceedings is for the officiant to begin with an opening, followed by any readings, then the exchange of vows, the declaration of intent, the exchange of rings, and finally, the pronouncement of the couple as married.

Get a marriage license

Getting a marriage license is a crucial step in making your wedding legal. Here are the steps you need to take to obtain one:

Determine the Requirements

Marriage license requirements vary by state and even county, so it is essential to research the specific rules for your location. Some states, like Virginia, have no residency requirements, allowing couples to obtain a marriage license from any circuit court in the state. In other states, you may need to be a resident or meet specific requirements, such as providing proof of divorce or undergoing a blood test. Understanding the rules for your state will help you navigate the process smoothly.

Complete the Application

Many counties offer an online pre-application or the option to complete the application upon arriving at the courthouse. Filling out the application beforehand can expedite the process. Be prepared to provide the necessary information, such as your full names, parents' names, and social security numbers. Both applicants must also present valid government-issued photo identification, such as a driver's license, passport, or military identification card.

Pay the Fee

Obtaining a marriage license typically incurs a fee, which varies depending on the location. For example, in Loudoun County, Virginia, the fee is $30, payable by cash or credit card. It's important to check with your local courthouse to confirm the fee and accepted payment methods.

Visit the Courthouse

Both applicants must appear together in person at the designated courthouse to submit the application and obtain the marriage license. Some states, like Virginia, specify a minimum age of 18 for both applicants. It is recommended to schedule an appointment and confirm the required documents and fees before your visit to ensure a smooth process.

Understand the Validity and Filing Process

Marriage licenses are typically valid for a set period, such as 60 days, and must be used for a marriage ceremony within the specified timeframe and location. For example, a marriage license obtained in Virginia is valid for 60 days and can only be used for a marriage ceremony within the state. After the wedding, the signed marriage license must be submitted to the appropriate county office for filing. This responsibility usually falls to the officiant, who must submit the license within a certain timeframe, such as within 5 days of the ceremony.

Submit the license to the state

After the ceremony, the signed marriage license must be submitted to the state by the officiant. This is a crucial step, as it is the signing of the marriage license that makes the couple legally married. The officiant has the legal responsibility to ensure that the signed marriage license is returned to the issuing county office within a specific timeframe. For example, in California, the signed marriage license must be returned to the clerk recorder's office within 10 business days, while in Texas, it must be submitted within 60 days of the issue date.

The process of submitting the marriage license may vary depending on the state and county. In some cases, the officiant may need to submit the license in person, while in others, it may be possible to mail it. It is important for the couple to confirm the specific requirements of their state and county to ensure that the marriage license is submitted correctly and on time.

Once the marriage license has been certified by local officials, the couple will receive a marriage certificate, which serves as proof of their marriage. The marriage certificate is important for various legal purposes, such as changing the marital status for insurance, Social Security, bank accounts, and the IRS. While some states automatically send the marriage certificate to the couple, others may require that copies be ordered and purchased.

It is worth noting that marriage licenses have an expiration date, and the timeframe varies by location. For example, marriage licenses in California are valid for 90 days, while those in New York are effective for 60 days. Therefore, it is crucial to plan ahead and ensure that the marriage license is obtained, signed, and submitted within the specified timeframe.

To ensure a smooth process, it is recommended to work with a professional officiant or hire a wedding planner who is familiar with the legal requirements of the state and county where the wedding will take place. They can guide the couple through the necessary steps and help ensure that all the required documents are properly completed and submitted.

Frequently asked questions