Crafting Memorable Wedding Speeches: A Guide By Philip Calvert

In his 2005 book, *How to Make a Great Wedding Speech*, Philip Calvert offers a comprehensive and practical guide to anyone tasked with delivering a wedding speech. From the groom to the best man, the father of the bride to the bride herself, Calvert's book provides tailored advice for different character types, helping readers to integrate their personalities into their speeches. With a focus on sincerity, style, and joy, Calvert's work is an invaluable resource for anyone hoping to deliver a memorable wedding speech with confidence and panache.

Planning your speech

When you realise you have to make a speech

The first step in planning your speech is acknowledging that you have to make one! This may seem obvious, but it's important to start thinking about it early on so you have enough time to prepare.

Who says what and when?

Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom, then the best man, and finally, the bride and the mother of the bride. However, this order can vary depending on the wedding and the people involved. It's important to coordinate with the other speakers to ensure your speeches complement each other and don't overlap too much.

The golden rules: what makes a memorable speech?

A memorable speech is one that captures the attention of the audience and leaves them with a lasting impression. It should be engaging, entertaining, and heartfelt. It should also be an appropriate length—not too long that it becomes boring, but not too short that it feels rushed.

The biggest sin of all—being boring!

To avoid being boring, focus on telling stories and sharing anecdotes that are interesting and meaningful. Stay away from inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Instead, opt for crowd-pleasers that will have everyone laughing and engaged.

Rehearsing your speech

Practicing your speech is crucial to delivering it confidently and effectively. Practice in front of a mirror to work on your body language and eye contact. Record yourself to identify any areas for improvement and get feedback from others to refine your speech.

The big day

Presentation is Everything

Pay attention to your body language and non-verbal cues. Rehearse your speech in front of a mirror to notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand gestures. Make sure you maintain good posture and avoid distracting mannerisms.

Confidence and Relaxation

It's natural to feel nervous, but try to channel that energy into a positive and genuine presentation. Focus on your audience and how you want them to feel. Speak from the heart, and let your authenticity shine through.

Scripts, Notes, and Cue Cards

While you don't want to read your speech verbatim, having some notes or cue cards can be helpful. This is especially true if you're feeling nervous or tend to struggle with public speaking. Practice your speech and time yourself to ensure you don't go overboard.

Final Preparations

Record yourself practising the speech, so you can identify areas for improvement. Practice in front of a small audience, such as close friends or family members, to get their feedback. This will help you refine your delivery and make any necessary adjustments.

On the Day

When the big day arrives, resist the temptation to calm your nerves with alcohol before your speech. It's essential to stay focused and clear-headed. Take slow, deep breaths, and remember that your audience wants you to succeed. Look for friendly faces in the crowd, and speak with sincerity and joy.

Remember, your speech is a celebration of the happy couple. Enjoy this special moment and savour the opportunity to share your thoughts and well-wishes with the newlyweds and their loved ones.

Be yourself

In his book, "How to Make a Great Wedding Speech", Philip Calvert offers a comprehensive and practical guide to anyone making a wedding speech. One of the most important pieces of advice he gives is to "Be Yourself".

Calvert's book is unique in that it provides specific help for people with different character types and personalities. It includes advice and tips on how to play to your strengths and integrate your own personality into your speech. This is especially helpful for those who are shy, nervous, emotional, or have never spoken in public before. By following Calvert's guidance, you can deliver a sincere, memorable, and authentic speech that feels true to who you are.

• Integrate your personality: Think about what makes you unique and let it shine through in your speech. Are you known for your sense of humour? Your thoughtfulness? Your creativity? Bring that into your speech to make it more engaging and personal.
• Speak from the heart: Share your genuine thoughts and feelings about the couple. Talk about what they mean to you and why you are happy for them. This will make your speech more meaningful and allow your personality to shine through.
• Use your own words: Write your speech in a way that reflects your natural speaking style. If you are more serious, keep it sincere and heartfelt. If you are lighthearted, inject some humour. The key is to be true to yourself and not try to be someone you're not.
• Connect with your audience: Imagine you are speaking to a group of friends. This will help you relax and be yourself. Make eye contact, use hand gestures, and vary your tone to engage your audience and make them feel included.
• Practice, but don't memorise: While it's important to rehearse your speech, don't feel like you have to memorise every word. Having a general idea of what you want to say and speaking naturally will make your speech feel more authentic and allow your personality to come through.

Remember, the key to "Being Yourself" is to relax and let your true self shine through. By following these tips and incorporating your unique personality into your speech, you will deliver a memorable and engaging wedding speech that everyone will love.

Tips for different character types

For the Nervous or Emotional Speaker

• Record yourself practising your speech. This will help you identify any distracting mannerisms, such as verbal pauses like 'um', 'uh' and 'like'.
• Practise your speech in front of a mirror, paying attention to your facial expression, eye contact and hand position.
• Practise your speech in front of an audience to get feedback.
• Don't rely on alcohol to calm your nerves. It may cause you to slur your words and forget your lines.
• Turn your nerves into positive energy. A little nervousness can liven up your speech.

For the Over or Under-Confident Speaker

• Focus on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you speak from the heart and engage your listeners.
• Don't try to be a stand-up comedian. Keep your speech short and sweet, heartfelt and warm.
• Be yourself and integrate your personality into your speech.
• If you're under-confident, try to communicate with positive, genuine energy.
• If you're over-confident, remember not to embarrass the newlyweds with your speech. Avoid inside jokes and keep in mind that your audience includes the couple's grandparents.

For the Quietly Spoken Speaker

• Make sure you have the audience's attention before you start speaking.
• Use presentation tools to ensure your voice carries, such as a microphone or a megaphone.
• Speak slowly and clearly, and try to project your voice.
• If you're quietly spoken, consider using background music during your speech to create a more intimate atmosphere.

For the Serious Speaker

• Start your speech with a joke or a light-hearted question to engage your audience.
• Include humour in your speech, but remember that it's a toast, not a roast.
• Try to relax and be yourself.
• If you're naturally serious, lean into it by including some witty one-liners in your speech.

Using ready-made material

Philip Calvert's book, *How to Make a Great Wedding Speech*, offers a comprehensive and practical guide for anyone who has to make a wedding speech. The book provides specific advice for people with different personality types and character styles, helping them to integrate their unique personalities into their speeches.

The following paragraphs focus on the topic of 'Using ready-made material' and are adapted from Calvert's book:

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the task of writing a wedding speech, you may be tempted to turn to ready-made material or pre-written speeches. While this can be a helpful starting point, it's important to remember that a truly memorable speech comes from the heart and reflects your unique personality.

Ready-made material can provide a basic structure or outline for your speech, which you can then personalise and adapt to make it your own. It can be a timesaver if you're short on time, but be careful not to rely on it too heavily. Your speech should ultimately sound like it's coming from you and not a generic template.

When using ready-made material, look for resources that offer a variety of options and customisation. This will allow you to mix and match different elements to create a speech that feels authentic to you. You can also use these materials as a source of inspiration, drawing on the structure, tone, or specific elements that resonate with you.

However, be cautious of simply filling in the blanks or making minor changes to a pre-written speech. The best speeches are those that feel sincere and genuine, so don't be afraid to infuse your own personality, stories, and experiences. Remember, it's not just about the words on the page; it's about how you deliver them and the connection you make with your audience.

If you do use ready-made material, make sure to practice your speech beforehand. This will help you feel more comfortable with the content and allow you to inject your own style and flair into the delivery. Ultimately, the key to a great wedding speech is making it personal and meaningful, so use ready-made material as a starting point and then make it your own.

Frequently asked questions