Crafting Memorable Wedding Speeches: A Guide To Success

Wedding speeches can be nerve-wracking, but they don't have to be. Whether you're the best man, maid of honour, father of the bride, or the groom, there are some basic rules and preparation tips to help you deliver a great speech. Start by jotting down notes and anecdotes about the couple, and how you know them. Then, structure your speech with a strong opener, a bit of humour, and a heartfelt closer. Practise your speech, and make sure to consider your audience – this isn't the time for inside jokes or inappropriate stories. Keep it short, simple, and meaningful, and don't forget to thank the people who deserve it. Finally, remember to speak clearly and confidently, and you'll be sure to deliver a wedding speech to remember.

Prepare in advance

The best defence against freezing up when you take the mic is to be prepared. As soon as you know you've been asked to give a speech at the wedding, start jotting down notes. Whenever you're inspired by a thought about the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make a note of it. This will help give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing your speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You'll need time to edit, fine-tune, and make your speech concise. As wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events that you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, make sure you sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don't want your speech to be just "okay"; you want it to be heartfelt and meaningful.

Give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times. Use your phone to take a video of yourself practising. It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as verbal pauses like "um", "uh", and "like". Practise your speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position. Practise until you look good, until you can watch yourself in the mirror – and ultimately look at the audience – while speaking.

If you don't feel confident in your speechwriting abilities, then look for inspiration and help online. There are extensive collections of example wedding speeches that will give you plenty of ideas. To get a sense of the sort of speeches you like and the style you may like to follow, spend some time exploring the many weird and wonderful speeches on YouTube. Why not take inspiration from some of the most popular celebrity wedding speeches?

Consider enlisting some help in the form of a professional speechwriter. They can help put together a fantastic speech and fill you with confidence for the big day.

Know your audience

Knowing your audience is a crucial aspect of delivering a good wedding speech. It is important to be mindful of the diverse range of people in attendance, from children to the elderly, and from close friends to casual acquaintances. Here are some tips to consider when addressing your audience:

Keep it Clean

It is essential to refrain from using crude language or telling inappropriate stories. Avoid smut, filth, and sensitive topics such as politics, especially Brexit! While inside jokes might be tempting, they can often fall flat and exclude people. Instead, opt for light-hearted and inclusive humour that will appeal to a wider range of guests. Save the grittier stories for a more intimate setting after the formalities.

Be Mindful of Cultural References

Avoid assuming that your audience will understand cultural references, inside jokes, or shared experiences. Instead, provide context and explain any references that might be unfamiliar to some guests. This will ensure that everyone feels included and can follow your speech.

Keep it Concise

A good rule of thumb is to limit your speech to 2-5 minutes. This ensures that you retain the attention of your audience and leave them wanting more. Focus on a few key points and select concise stories to illustrate them. A short and sweet speech is more likely to be well-received and remembered fondly.

Be Aware of Volume and Clarity

Ensure that your speech is delivered at an appropriate volume and pace. Speak clearly and avoid mumbling, as you want everyone in the room to be able to hear you. Practising beforehand can help you find the right balance and make any necessary adjustments.

Engage with Your Audience

Making eye contact and speaking directly to your audience is crucial. Avoid reading directly from a piece of paper, as it can be off-putting and hinder your connection with the guests. Cue cards with key points or notes can be helpful, but try to memorise as much as possible and engage directly with your audience.

Include humour

Humour is a great way to connect with your audience and keep them engaged. It can also help to lighten the mood and create a warm atmosphere. Here are some tips for including humour in your wedding speech:

Preparation

When preparing your speech, brainstorm ideas by watching your favourite sitcom or funny movie, or listening to a stand-up comic. You don't want to copy jokes word for word, but they may spark your creativity. Original jokes will always get a better response, so try to avoid stealing punchlines.

Length

Keep your speech short and sweet. Wedding speeches only need to be two to four minutes long. If you go any longer, you'll start to lose people's attention, and your humour may fall flat.

Practice

Practise your speech well in advance. Even the most hilarious speech will fall flat if you can't deliver the lines clearly and with the right inflection. The more you can memorise your speech and deliver it naturally, the better it will sound.

Self-Deprecating Humour

Be self-deprecating. Talk about how the bride or groom excels at something you don't, and poke fun at yourself. This will get a laugh, keep the speech relaxed, and is a subtle way to compliment the couple.

Teasing the Couple

It's okay to poke good-natured fun at the couple, as long as it's light-hearted and not offensive. Tease them about their taste in music or their go-to outfit in middle school. You could also be deliberately over-the-top in your teasing, so that it's obvious you're joking.

Props

Using props can take some of the focus and pressure off you while boosting your story. If there's a prop that will illustrate the main points of your speech, use it! An old photo, a childhood toy, or a relic from your teenage years can make a speech more memorable and silly.

Timing

Remember to pause for a few seconds after your best lines to let them sink in. If you crack a joke and then immediately continue speaking, people may not have time to react.

Rookie Mistakes

Avoid rookie mistakes such as mentioning exes, telling embarrassing stories, or revisiting drunken nights. Don't insult anyone who is in attendance, even if it's meant to be light-hearted.

End on a High Note

Even if your speech is mostly funny, end on a sentimental note. Wish the couple well, express your love for them, and then raise your glass.

Make it personal

Making your wedding speech personal is a great way to connect with your audience and make the happy couple feel special. Here are some tips to achieve this:

Introduce Yourself and Your Connection to the Couple

It is likely that not everyone at the wedding will know who you are, so be sure to give a brief introduction. This will help your audience understand the context of your speech and why you were chosen to give it. A simple "Hello, I'm [name], [relation to the couple]" will suffice.

Share Stories and Anecdotes

Think about stories or anecdotes that showcase the couple's relationship, how they met, or their personalities. These could be funny, heartwarming, or both! Perhaps they have cute nicknames for each other, or maybe you were there when they first met. Share details that guests might not know, but be sure to keep it appropriate for a varied audience.

Include Specific Details

If you know details about the proposal, include them! This is a great way to make your speech more personal and give guests a behind-the-scenes look at this special moment. You can also mention any inside jokes or shared experiences that are appropriate for the whole audience to hear.

Talk About What the Couple Means to You

Share how you feel about the couple and what their relationship means to you. This adds a layer of authenticity and emotion to your speech. You can talk about how the couple has impacted your life, or share wishes for their future together.

Make it Meaningful

While humour is important, don't be afraid to keep your speech simple and heartfelt. Speak from the heart, and your words will resonate with the couple and the guests. Focus on a few key points and stories to ensure your message is clear and concise.

Remember, the key to making your wedding speech personal is to share genuine thoughts, feelings, and stories about the couple. This will create a warm and memorable atmosphere for everyone to enjoy.

Keep it concise

The ideal length for a wedding speech is between two and five minutes. Any longer than five minutes and your guests will start to lose interest. It's better to be brief and memorable than to bore your audience with a long speech.

A good rule of thumb is to select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate and back these up with no more than three short stories or anecdotes for each. This will help to keep your speech focused and ensure your message doesn't get lost.

If you're worried about your speech being too short, remember that it's not about you, and yours won't be the only speech. There will be several other speeches, so try not to ramble on.

Practising your speech beforehand will help you to perfect the timing. Practise reading it out loud, rather than in your head, and time yourself. You can also record yourself to check how long it is and make edits if necessary.

Frequently asked questions