Involving Couples And Children: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky decision. Some people believe that children add a certain magic to the atmosphere, while others feel that kids can be distracting and rowdy. If you do decide to invite children, it's important to consider how many you will invite and how you will address the invitations to their families.

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few different options. If the children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation. If they are under 18, their names are typically listed only on the inner envelope, not the outer envelope. Another option is to address the invitation to The [Last Name] Family or Mr. & Mrs. [Last Name] with the children's names listed underneath.

If you decide not to invite children to your wedding, there are a few ways to politely communicate this to your guests. You can be direct and honest by including an adults-only announcement on your wedding website or invitation. You can also carefully address each invitation to specify who is invited, without naming the children.

How to address the wedding invitation to a family

When addressing a wedding invitation to a family, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and full names of the family members, especially if the wedding invitation follows a formal style. Secondly, the outer envelope, which contains the mailing address, postage, and return address, should be more formal than the inner envelope. The inner envelope includes the invitation, RSVP card, and any other additional information. Finally, if children are invited, their names are typically listed on the inner envelope, while children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

If you prefer to be less specific about which family members are invited, you can simply address the envelope to the entire family:

Outer envelope: "The Abraham Family" or "Mr. & Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Michael, Jane, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

If there are children over the age of 18 in the family, they should receive a separate invitation:

Outer envelope: "Miss Brittany Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Miss Abraham"

It is important to note that the format may vary slightly depending on the relationship status of the couple and their titles or distinctions. For example, if one of the parents is a doctor, the invitation can be addressed as:

Outer envelope: "Doctor Michael Abraham and Mrs. Jane Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Dr. Abraham and Mrs. Abraham"

Remember to use the appropriate titles and full names, and always double-check the spelling and accuracy of the information before sending out the invitations.

How to communicate that you're not having any kids at your wedding

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a personal choice and it's important to remember that it's your wedding and your rules. If you've decided not to invite children, it's best to communicate this clearly and directly to your guests. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you navigate this sensitive topic:

Be Direct and Honest

It's important to be clear and direct when communicating your wishes. Address your wedding invitations properly and consider including an adults-only announcement on your wedding website. You can also be explicit by stating “Adults-Only Reception” or “Our wedding is adult-only, thank you” on the invitation itself. This reduces the chance of misunderstandings and gives guests more time to make necessary arrangements.

Make Your Request Early

Add a section to your wedding website mentioning that you're having a child-free wedding, so guests with children can plan accordingly. Reinforce this message on your save-the-dates, invitations, and follow-up messages. This ensures that your guests see the information multiple times and can make the necessary arrangements.

Specify the Age Group

Since "kids" can be a broad term, it's helpful to specify the age group that won't be attending. While some couples define "kids" as under 18, others refer to those under 21. Clearly stating the age range on your wedding website and invitations leaves no room for confusion.

Avoid Citing Personal Reasons

Avoid singling out specific children or giving personal reasons for your decision. This can make parents defensive and hurt. Instead, use respectful wording that applies to all guests with children.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing invitations, only include the names of the specific family members who are invited. Traditionally, if a child is included, their name should be listed on the invitation as well. If using both outer and inner envelopes, the parents' names go on the outer envelope, and the child's name is written beneath on the inner envelope. If using only an outer envelope, be sure to include the child's name.

Specify Your Plan for Wedding Party Members

If you have flower girls or ring bearers, communicate with their parents about their participation in the ceremony and whether they are invited to the reception. Offer to help arrange and pay for a babysitter if needed.

Provide Alternative Options

If your venue has space, consider setting up a separate room for children with babysitters, dinner service, movies, and games. This can be a thoughtful way to accommodate guests with children while still maintaining a child-free reception.

Sample Wording Ideas:

• "Adults-only reception to follow"
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration"
• "Adults only, please"
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception"
• "Our wedding is adults only"
• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding"
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event"
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm"
• "We respectfully request no children"
• "We thought you would like the night off, so we are having an adults-only wedding"

Remember, it's your special day, and you can choose how you want to spend it. Communicating your wishes clearly and compassionately will help ensure that your guests understand and respect your decision.

How to include children in your wedding

There are many ways to include children in your wedding, whether they are your own kids, your partner's, or your guests'. Here are some ideas to make your big day special for the little ones:

Involve them in pre-wedding activities

If you are planning a wedding with kids, you can involve them in various pre-wedding activities. This could include bringing them to cake tastings, pre-wedding appointments, or even your final dress fitting! You can also give them simple tasks, like handwriting guests' place cards, putting together welcome baskets, or stamping envelopes.

Give them a special role at the ceremony

There are several ways to include children in your wedding ceremony. You can give them traditional roles such as flower girls, ring bearers, bridesmaids, or groomsmen. If you have older children, you can ask them to be your maid of honour or best man. Alternatively, you can give them other special jobs like walking the family dog down the aisle, taking photos, or handing out the confetti. If you are having a unity candle or sand ceremony, you can include them in lighting the candle or pouring the sand.

Make them feel special

You can make the children feel extra special by giving them a special "morning-of" gift, or including their names in your vows and the ceremony. You can also ask the officiant to mention their names during the ceremony. If you have a wedding website, you can include a section with suggestions for things to do in town from the children's perspective, including their favourite restaurants and activities.

Keep them entertained at the reception

To keep children entertained at the reception, you can provide kid-friendly food options and a special kids' table with fun favours, goodie bags, colouring books, and small games. You can also give them special jobs at the reception, like making sure everyone has signed the guest book or handing out slices of cake. If you have teens attending, make sure they have their own table, and don't seat them at the children's table!

How to keep children entertained at your wedding

Keeping children entertained at your wedding is a great way to ensure that both kids and parents are happy. Here are some ideas to keep children occupied and amused during the big day:

Arts and Crafts

Set up a mini area with art supplies such as crayons, craft kits, stickers, pipe cleaners, and playdough. Children can make cards, design wedding dresses, or create props for a photo booth. You can also provide wedding-themed colouring books or a colouring tablecloth to keep kids entertained during dinner.

Games

Outdoor lawn games like hopscotch, bowling, Twister, Jenga, and Connect 4 are fun options for kids. For indoor entertainment, board games like Guess Who, Monopoly, and Operation are great choices. You can also organise scavenger hunts or treasure hunts, providing disposable cameras for kids to snap photos.

Kid-Friendly Food

Serve up their favourite foods on cafeteria-style trays. You can also make mealtime interactive with food choices like s'mores, where kids can have fun assembling their treats.

Play Tents and Comfortable Spaces

Kids love play tents! Set up a cosy space with cushions, rugs, and activities like hula hoops and crates of toys. Later in the evening, add comfy pillows and put on a movie for the kids to wind down.

Music and Dance

Organise a kids-only disco with a playlist of pop tracks and family favourites. Before the adults join in, let the kids have their own dance-off to burn off some energy. You can also provide instruments for kids to make some noise, such as during the newlyweds' exit.

Photography

Give kids disposable cameras or kid-proof digital cameras and assign them as mini wedding photographers. They can capture unique perspectives of your special day and have fun snapping photos.

Entertainment and Childcare

If your budget allows, hire professional entertainers like magicians, clowns, balloon modellers, or face painters. You can also consider hiring professional babysitters or childminders to supervise and entertain children, giving parents a break.

Sweet Treats

Set up a sweetie cart or a popcorn stand for kids to enjoy during the reception. You can also provide goody bags filled with age-appropriate treats, such as snacks, juice cartons, mini puzzles, and toys.

With a bit of planning and creativity, you can ensure that children have a memorable and enjoyable time at your wedding, creating special moments for everyone involved!

Where should the kids sit during the reception?

Where children sit during a wedding reception depends on their age. If the children are younger than seven or eight years old, they will likely want to sit next to their parents. If the child is seven or eight years old and older, they might prefer to sit with other kids at a dedicated, adult-supervised kids' table.

If you're going to have a kids' table, be sure to provide some age-appropriate activities to keep them occupied during the evening. It's also a good idea to seat parents with young children at the heads of tables to allow room for highchairs or prams.

Another option is to set up a separate kids' room. This room can be equipped with a few babysitters, dinner service, movies, games, and more. If you're going to have a kids' room, ask parents if they want their children to have the freedom to go back and forth from the room to the reception, or to stay in the room, which makes it easier for them to know where their children are.

Frequently asked questions