Get Your Bridesmaids To Bond And Be Merry

Bridesmaids are an integral part of a wedding, but what happens when they don't get along? It's natural to want your bridesmaids to be friends and for everyone to get along, but sometimes personalities clash, and this can cause drama and stress for the bride. So, what can be done to prevent this? Well, there are a few strategies that can help, such as organising a casual meet-and-greet before the wedding festivities begin, starting a group text chat, or planning a girls' night out to help everyone get to know each other. It's also important to remember that not everyone has to be best friends, and that the dynamic is temporary. If things get really bad, it may be necessary to have a heart-to-heart with your bridesmaids and ask them to put their differences aside for your special day.

Don't take it personally

It's important to remember that not taking it personally is often easier said than done. However, when it comes to your bridesmaids not getting along, it's crucial to keep in mind that their differences or conflicts are not a reflection of your friendships or relationships with them. Here are some tips to help you navigate this challenging situation:

Remember Why You Chose Them: Think about why you selected each person to stand by your side. They are your chosen companions for a reason, and their issues with each other don't change that. Remind yourself of the unique qualities and connections you share with each of them, and try to focus on those instead of their disagreements.

Understand Personality Differences: Accept that not everyone will see eye to eye. Your bridesmaids may have different personalities, backgrounds, or perspectives, and that's okay. It's natural for people to have varying opinions and preferences, and it doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong. Recognise and respect their individuality, and try to find common ground.

Detach Yourself from Their Judgement: It's essential to realise that their opinions of each other are not a reflection of their opinions of you. Don't internalise their conflicts or take on the burden of trying to please everyone. Focus on your relationships with each of them individually, and let go of the need to control their perceptions of one another.

Maintain Your Own Perspective: While it's natural to want everyone to get along, remember that you are not responsible for their feelings or actions. You can encourage harmony, but ultimately, they are responsible for their behaviour. Don't beat yourself up if they don't become best friends. As wedding expert Jen Glantz advises, "Your bridesmaids don't have to become BFFs, but they should be kind to each other, to you, and to themselves throughout the wedding experience."

Keep the Bigger Picture in Mind: Your bridesmaids are there to support you and celebrate your special day. While their disagreements can be challenging, try to maintain a broader perspective. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationships with them and the joy of your wedding. Their differences don't have to define the entire experience.

By following these suggestions, you can detach yourself from the drama and maintain a sense of peace and perspective. Remember, the most important thing is to cherish your relationships with your bridesmaids and create beautiful memories together.

Don't pick sides

It's your wedding, and you want everything to be perfect, but sometimes, bridesmaids don't get along. It's important to remember that you don't have to pick sides. Here are some tips to help you navigate this tricky situation:

• Stay neutral: When tempers flare, it's essential to maintain your cool and stay on neutral ground. Don't get involved in the drama, and instead, play the role of a mediator. Remind your bridesmaids that your wedding is a cause for celebration, not quarrelling. Help them focus on the bigger picture and encourage them to put their differences aside, at least for the wedding.
• Don't take sides: Avoid taking sides at all costs. This will only escalate the situation and create further tension. It's natural to feel frustrated or disappointed by their behaviour, but taking sides will only make the matter worse.
• Be understanding: Try to understand where each bridesmaid is coming from. They may have valid reasons for their disagreements. Listen to their concerns without judging or taking sides. Sometimes, people just need a listening ear and a chance to vent. Be that supportive presence for them, but don't engage in negative talk or gossip.
• Encourage open communication: Create a safe space for your bridesmaids to express their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to communicate directly with each other and find common ground. If they can talk through their issues, they may be able to resolve their differences or, at the very least, agree to disagree respectfully.
• Suggest a compromise: If possible, suggest a compromise or a solution that works for everyone. For example, if they disagree on a certain aspect of the wedding, try to find a middle ground that satisfies both parties. This may require some creativity and flexibility, but it can help ease the tension.
• Seek outside help: If the situation feels too overwhelming or challenging to handle on your own, don't be afraid to seek help from someone else. Ask your maid of honour or another neutral party to step in and mediate. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help resolve conflicts and find a peaceful solution.

Remember, it's normal for not everyone to get along perfectly, and that's okay. Focus on fostering an environment of respect and understanding, and your bridesmaids will hopefully be able to put their differences aside for your special day.

Be a good listener

Being a good listener is a crucial skill to have when trying to get your bridesmaids to get along. It's important to remember that some of their issues may be valid, and that people sometimes just need to vent. By listening to their problems, you're showing that you care and are willing to help.

• Create a safe and supportive environment. Make sure the bridesmaids feel comfortable and respected. Let them know that it's okay to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Be fully present and attentive. Put away any distractions, such as your phone, and give them your undivided attention. Make eye contact, nod along, and use encouraging gestures to show that you're engaged.
• Be patient and empathetic. Try to understand their perspective and put yourself in their shoes. Show that you empathise with their situation and want to help find a solution.
• Ask open-ended questions. Encourage them to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings. Ask things like, "How did that make you feel?" or "What do you think contributed to the issue?" This shows your interest in understanding their perspective and helps you gather more information.
• Summarise and reflect. Periodically summarise what they've shared to show that you're listening and to ensure that you've understood correctly. For example, you could say, "So, if I'm understanding correctly, you're feeling frustrated because of X, Y, and Z. Is that right?"
• Avoid interrupting or judging. Let them speak without interruption and try to withhold any judgments or criticisms. Show that you're open to hearing their perspective, even if you don't necessarily agree with it.

Remember, being a good listener is about more than just hearing what they have to say. It's about creating a safe space, showing empathy, and helping them feel supported and valued. This can go a long way towards fostering better relationships and getting your bridesmaids to get along.

Have a heart-to-heart

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and the last thing you need is drama between your bridesmaids. If things are getting out of hand, it might be time to have a heart-to-heart with your bridesmaids to resolve the conflict. Here are some tips to help you navigate this challenging situation:

Initiate Individual Conversations

Begin by sitting down with each of your bridesmaids separately. This allows you to address the issue privately and avoid any potential embarrassment. It also gives you an opportunity to understand their individual perspectives and concerns.

Express Your Feelings

When talking to each bridesmaid, be honest and open about how you feel. Explain that the tension between them is causing you stress and affecting your wedding planning experience. Let them know that their fighting is counterproductive to the support and help you expected from them as part of your bridal party.

Listen and Empathize

While it's important to express your feelings, also remember to listen actively and empathize with their perspectives. Some of the issues they raise may be valid, and even if you don't agree with everything, acknowledging their feelings can go a long way toward resolving the conflict. Remember, sometimes people just need a listening ear and a chance to vent.

Seek Collaborative Solutions

After expressing your concerns, ask your bridesmaids for their ideas on how to improve the situation. By involving them in the problem-solving process, you empower them to take ownership of their behavior and actively work towards a solution. This collaborative approach can help ensure that everyone feels heard and respected.

Focus on Common Ground

Remind your bridesmaids why you chose them to be part of your special day. Highlight the positive qualities you see in each of them and emphasize the importance of unity and support during this exciting time in your life. Encourage them to focus on their shared love and support for you, the bride, rather than their differences.

Be Patient and Persistent

Resolving interpersonal conflicts takes time and effort. Don't expect an overnight transformation, but do persist in your efforts to bring about positive change. Check in with your bridesmaids regularly, and continue to encourage open communication and a collaborative spirit.

Remember, it's natural for not everyone to get along perfectly, but by having these heart-to-heart conversations, you can hopefully minimize the drama and maximize the joy and celebration leading up to your big day.

Get support from someone not involved in the drama

If you're a bride dealing with bickering bridesmaids, it's important to remember that you don't have to handle the situation alone. Your mental health and stress levels are crucial during this time, so consider asking someone who is not involved in the drama to step in and help resolve the tension. This could be your maid of honour or another bridesmaid.

• Ask them to mediate: Request that the neutral party sit down with the bridesmaids who are not getting along and help them find a solution to their issues. They can also help the conflicting parties agree to disagree and commit to keeping the wedding experience positive.
• Create a separate communication channel: The maid of honour can start a separate group text chain or chat group with the bridesmaids to discuss bridal shower and bachelorette party planning. This allows the bridesmaids to get to know each other better and provides a space for them to address any concerns without involving the bride in every minor issue.
• Organise a get-together: The maid of honour can plan a get-together that isn't solely focused on the wedding. This could be a night out, a dinner, or a trip to a winery. Creating a relaxed environment can help the bridesmaids bond and get more comfortable with each other. Encourage topics of conversation beyond the wedding to allow everyone to open up and connect on a deeper level.
• Suggest a group outing: A group outing, such as a girls' night out or a bridal party trip, can be a great way for the bridesmaids to spend time together and create positive memories. This will also give the bride a much-needed break from wedding planning stress.
• Propose ice-breaker games: If some bridesmaids haven't had a chance to meet or interact much, suggest playing ice-breaker games. These games can help break the ice and foster a more comfortable dynamic within the group.
• Address exclusivity: If one or two bridesmaids seem to be feeling left out, ask a neutral bridesmaid to create a group hangout where everyone is involved. This can help bridge the gap and make everyone feel included. Additionally, during the bachelorette party, encourage smaller groups to form so that individuals can feel more comfortable and avoid the potential awkwardness of a large group.

Frequently asked questions