Rhiannon Hendricks
The exchange of wedding rings is a significant act of love and
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ring type | Simple, traditional, modern, ring guards/wraps, gimmel, poesy, etc. |
| Ring material | Gold, silver, platinum, diamond-encrusted, rose gold, tungsten, wood, etc. |
| Ring placement | Left hand, fourth finger; right hand, fourth finger; or both hands |
| Ring order | Wedding ring first, then engagement ring; or vice versa |
| Ring bearer | Best man, maid of honour, officiant, or a family member |
| Ring exchange | After vows; the groom usually goes first |
| Ring statements | "Of my commitment to you"; "I do"; "I will" |
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What You'll Learn
Choosing a ring type: simple, traditional, or modern
Choosing a ring that you will wear every day for the rest of your life is not a small task. Wedding rings come in different styles and designs, and there are a few things to consider when choosing the right one.
First, you should decide whether you want a matching set or non-matching rings. Then, consider the ring design and choose options that suit your lifestyle and budget. Wedding rings are available in a wide price range, so it's important to set a budget and decide on the order of importance of the different components of the ring, such as the type of metal, amount of embellishments, and overall design. For example, if you are very active and work with your hands, you might need a durable material like gold or platinum, and a flat band may be more practical.
Next, you should consider the shape of the band. The common types of wedding ring shapes are court profiles, which are rounded on the inside and outside and are one of the most comfortable to wear; D-shaped rings, which are rounded on the exterior edge and flat on the inside, making them excellent for those who want a snug fit; and flat rings, which have a rectangular cross-section and right-angled corners, also providing a snug fit.
Finally, you should consider whether you want a simple, traditional, or modern ring. A simple ring might just feature a single type of metal, whereas a traditional ring might feature a classic silhouette, such as a D-shaped band, and a modern ring might feature innovative cuts and shapes, such as a T-shaped setting or square-cut diamond.
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Who holds the rings: best man, maid of honour, or ring bearer
While the happy couple may choose to hold on to the rings themselves, it is customary for the best man, maid of honour, or ring bearer to hold the wedding rings.
The best man is often responsible for keeping the rings safe in the lead-up to the ceremony and during the wedding. This is a huge responsibility, so don't forget to thank your best man with a thoughtful gift after the wedding. If the best man is also the ring bearer's father, he can receive the rings from the ring bearer and hold them until it is time for the exchange of vows.
The maid of honour can also hold the rings if you want to give her this additional responsibility. Alternatively, the rings can be entrusted to a close family member who has been helping the couple with wedding planning.
The ring bearer is usually a young boy, typically between three and eight years old, and often a special child in the couple's life, such as their son, nephew, or godchild. They walk down the aisle carrying the rings on a pillow and then hand them off to the best man, maid of honour, or officiant. However, due to their young age, it is important to pick the right child for the job, and some couples may opt for a flower girl or even a pet as the ring bearer instead.
Ultimately, the decision of who holds the rings is a personal one, and the couple may choose to assign this role to any person or animal that is meaningful to them.
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When to put on the engagement ring: before, during, or after the ceremony
The wedding ring ceremony is a token of a couple's love and commitment to one another. During the ceremony, the wedding officiant leads the couple through ring statements as they put a ring on each other's fourth finger on their left hand.
There are various ways to handle the placement of the engagement ring during the wedding ceremony. Some brides prefer to remove their engagement ring before walking down the aisle, wearing it on their right hand, or keeping it in a safe place to avoid losing it or fumbling with it at the altar. Others choose to wear their engagement ring on their left hand during the ceremony, with the wedding band placed over it by their partner. Some brides opt to fuse their engagement and wedding rings together before the ceremony, while others choose to wear their engagement ring on their right hand and switch it to their left hand after the ceremony. Ultimately, the decision of when to put on the engagement ring is a personal preference, and there is no right or wrong way to do it.
If you want to avoid wearing your engagement ring during the ceremony, you can put it in a safe spot and leave it at home or ask your wedding planner or venue for a secure place to store it. Alternatively, you can wear your engagement ring on your right hand during the ceremony, allowing your partner to place the wedding ring on your left hand without the engagement ring stacked under it. This option ensures that your wedding band has its moment in the spotlight and avoids any awkwardness during the ring exchange.
Some brides choose to wear their engagement ring on their left hand during the ceremony, with the wedding band placed over it. This option symbolises the engagement ring as a promise and the wedding ring as the crystallisation of that promise. It also follows the traditional order of receiving the rings, with the engagement ring received first and the wedding band added later. However, wearing the engagement ring on the left hand during the ceremony can make it feel like it's in the way, and some may prefer to have the wedding band placed under the engagement ring.
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Wedding vows: what to say during the ring exchange
Wedding rings are exchanged during the wedding ceremony as a token of a couple's love and commitment to one another. The wedding officiant will lead the couple through ring statements as they put a ring on each other's fourth finger on their left hand.
The ring exchange usually takes place after the speaking of vows and marks the close of the wedding ceremony. The officiant will then pronounce the couple as married.
> "I, [name], join you, [name], in marriage, to know you as my wife/husband, to share all of life with you, its freedoms and responsibilities, its tensions and excitement, and its times of entertaining growth."
> " [Name], this ring, my gift to you, symbolizes my desire that you be my wife/husband from this day forward. As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you."
> "With this ring, I thee wed, and with it bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart and hands."
> "I give you this ring as a symbol of my promise. As I place it on your finger, I commit my heart and soul to you."
> "By placing this ring on your finger, I choose you now and always. It is a symbol of the vows I have made to you and a reminder that our lives are forever entwined."
Couples can also personalise their vows by incorporating ideas, sentiments, or imagery that is relevant to their background, cultural heritage, or family traditions. Religious references or lines from a favourite poem or novel can also be included. Ultimately, the words spoken during the ring exchange should reflect what is in the heart of the couple.
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Ring placement: which finger and hand
The "ring finger" is traditionally the fourth finger from the thumb on either hand, between the pinky and the middle finger. In Western cultures, the wedding ring finger is traditionally the fourth finger of the left hand. This is also the case in Jewish weddings, where the rings are placed on the right hand during the ceremony and then moved to the left hand. In Eastern European, Northern European, and some Asian countries, the wedding ring is traditionally worn on the fourth finger of the right hand. Traditions also vary in India, Germany, Spain, Norway, and Russia, where wedding rings are traditionally worn on the right hand.
The origin of the wedding ring finger is often attributed to the belief that the vena amoris or "vein of love" ran through the fourth finger on the left hand and connected directly to the heart. This belief has been debunked, as all fingers have venous connections to the heart. However, the tradition of wearing rings on this finger persists in many cultures.
Today, ring placement is often influenced by comfort, practicality, personal preference, and cultural background. Some people choose to wear their engagement and wedding rings on separate fingers or hands, especially if they have large or uniquely shaped rings. Others may opt to wear only their wedding band for everyday activities, reserving the engagement ring for special occasions. There is no universal "correct" way to wear wedding jewellery, and individuals should choose the finger that resonates with their comfort, lifestyle, and sense of style.
In terms of ring stacking, there is no hard and fast rule. Some couples choose to wear the wedding band first (closest to the heart), followed by the engagement ring. Others may prefer to wear the engagement ring first, especially if they want to keep the placement consistent with that of the promise ring. Eternity rings are sometimes added to the stack, usually on top of the engagement and wedding rings.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding vows are exchanged first, followed by the ring exchange. The wedding is then declared official.
In the United States and the United Kingdom, wedding rings are typically worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. However, wearing them on the right hand is also common worldwide.
The best man or maid of honour are classic choices for who carries the rings at a wedding. Alternatively, you could give them to a family member who isn't directly involved in the ceremony.
Wedding rings can be simple, traditional, or modern. Simple wedding rings are usually thin bands of gold, silver, or platinum with no decorative jewels or carvings. Traditional rings are often yellow gold, but can also be white gold, silver, platinum, or diamond-encrusted. Modern wedding rings can be made from unique materials such as rose gold, tungsten, or wood, and may feature coloured stones, decorative patterns, or two tones.
