The Wedding Conundrum: Navigating The Guest List Tightrope

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the first things you'll need to decide is how big you want it to be. There are many factors to consider when determining the size of your wedding, and it's important to find what works best for you and your partner. Do you want a large wedding with all your friends and family, or a small, intimate gathering? Let's look at some of the pros and cons of different wedding sizes to help you decide.

Budget: The bigger the wedding, the bigger the budget

Budgeting is a crucial aspect of wedding planning, and it's safe to say that the bigger the wedding, the bigger the budget. The venue, catering, entertainment, photography, videography, attire, wedding planner, event rentals, lighting, decor, transportation, and more all contribute to the overall cost.

The first step in determining your budget is evaluating how much you and your family can contribute. Be realistic about what you can afford and what you're willing to spend in each area. It's essential to keep in mind that the guest list size significantly impacts the budget, as there is a per-head cost for food and liquor, typically the two biggest expenses.

If you're set on having a large wedding with 150+ guests, be prepared for a larger bill. A bigger guest list means more money spent on catering, invitations, event rentals, and decor. You'll also need a larger venue, which can be more expensive.

However, a smaller, more intimate wedding with 50 or fewer guests can be more affordable. Micro weddings and elopements are cost-effective options that allow you to splurge on other aspects like the honeymoon or a dream venue.

When deciding on your guest list size, consider your budget and the venue's capacity. Creating a fantasy guest list can help you identify your must-have guests and those you can do without. It's important to remember that you might not be able to invite everyone you know, and that's okay!

Additionally, don't forget to account for hidden costs and extras, such as overtime fees, service charges, and gratuities. Building some wiggle room into your budget can help cover any unforeseen expenses.

In conclusion, the size of your wedding and your budget are closely linked. The bigger the wedding, the more you'll spend on various aspects, especially catering and venue costs. Creating a detailed budget and being mindful of guest list size will help you plan your dream wedding without breaking the bank.

Venue: The number of guests will determine the venue

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important factors to consider is the number of guests you plan to invite. This will not only influence your budget but also determine the venue you choose.

Small weddings typically include 50 people or fewer, while medium-sized weddings range from 50 to 150 guests. If you're planning to go big, a large wedding would be anything over 150 attendees. It's worth noting that these numbers are subjective and can vary depending on cultural and regional differences. For example, in some cultures, large weddings can have 500-1,000 guests!

When deciding on a venue, consider the maximum capacity of the space. This will ensure that your guests are comfortable and that the venue can safely accommodate your group. If you have a smaller guest list, you may opt for an intimate setting like a country house, boutique hotel, or private room in a restaurant. For larger weddings, consider dedicated event spaces like a museum, brewery, or banquet hall.

Another aspect to consider is the location of your wedding. Destination weddings typically have smaller guest counts, with an average of 77 guests for US destinations and 69 for abroad weddings. If you're planning a hometown wedding, expect a larger guest list, with an average of 122 attendees.

Ultimately, the number of guests you invite will significantly impact your venue options. Be sure to consider your budget, the type of atmosphere you want to create, and the comfort and safety of your guests when making your decision.

Catering: More guests = higher costs

Catering is a significant expense for any wedding, and the cost will depend on the number of guests. The more guests you invite, the higher the catering costs will be.

According to The Knot's 2023 Real Weddings Study, the average wedding catering cost was $85 per person. This average price remained consistent regardless of the wedding size, with weddings of 1-50 guests averaging $85 per person, 51-100 guests averaging $84 per person, and weddings with over 100 guests averaging $86 per person.

The type of food and beverage service you choose will also impact the overall catering cost. A plated meal, where guests are served at their tables, averages $40 per person, while a buffet-style meal averages $27 per person. A family-style service, where large dishes are passed around for guests to serve themselves, is typically the most expensive option. A cocktail-style service, with passed hors d'oeuvres and food stations, is a more modern and cost-effective option.

When creating your guest list, it's important to consider your budget for catering and the type of service you want to provide. The cost of catering can add up quickly, especially if you choose a more formal or elaborate service. Be sure to get accurate quotes from caterers and consider the number of guests you plan to invite to ensure your budget remains on track.

Additionally, don't forget to factor in any additional costs that may be associated with your catering choices, such as cake-cutting fees, corkage fees, rental upgrades, and gratuity for the catering staff. These extra expenses can increase your catering costs, so be sure to read contracts carefully and ask questions to understand all the potential fees.

By carefully considering your guest list size and catering options, you can create a memorable dining experience for your guests while staying within your budget.

Intimacy: A small wedding is more intimate

Small weddings are generally considered to be those with between 30 and 60 guests, while a very small wedding or a micro wedding has 20 or fewer guests. However, the definition of a "small" wedding is ultimately up to you.

A small wedding allows you to create a more intimate and personalised experience for you and your guests. With a large wedding, couples often find themselves rushing around trying to speak to everyone, whereas small weddings give you the ability to spend more quality time with your loved ones.

With a small wedding, you can also afford to splurge on certain details, such as decorations and activities. For example, you could have an interactive drink display at cocktail hour or a statement overhead installation at the reception.

A small guest list also means you have more venue options. You could choose a non-traditional venue, such as a restaurant or a family home, or opt for a small space in a larger venue, like a library or courtyard.

• Live stream your ceremony so that those who can't be there in person can still watch you tie the knot.
• Incorporate symbolic readings into your ceremony, such as a passage from your favourite book or a quote from a romantic comedy.
• Create a lounge area at the reception to encourage guests to relax and socialise.
• Opt for a banquet table instead of round tables to make your event feel more intimate and welcoming.
• Go bold with your florals and splurge on statement flower arrangements.
• Include handwritten notes or personalised favours for each guest.
• If you don't want a dance floor, consider other activities such as lawn games, a live painter, or karaoke.

Planning: Large weddings require more planning

Planning a large wedding can be a daunting task, but with the right tools and mindset, it can be a smooth and enjoyable process. Here are some tips to help you plan your big day:

Start Early and Stay Organized:

Give yourself ample time to plan your wedding, ideally around a year. Create a master checklist and timeline to stay organized and ensure you don't miss any important deadlines. Use online tools, apps, or a physical wedding planner to keep track of tasks, budgets, and vendor information.

Define Your Vision and Priorities:

Determine your wedding vision and style, such as the desired season, location, and theme. Is it an intimate outdoor ceremony or a grand formal affair? Prioritize the aspects that are most important to you and your partner, such as the venue, date, or a specific photographer. This will guide your budget allocation and help you stay focused during the planning process.

Build Your Vendor Team:

Research and hire vendors that align with your vision and budget. Prioritize booking in-demand vendors, such as photographers, venues, caterers, florists, and entertainment early on. Communicate your expectations clearly and don't be afraid to ask for help or advice. Utilize the expertise of a wedding planner or coordinator to make the process less overwhelming.

Manage Your Guest List:

Large weddings typically have 150 or more guests. Define your guest list with your partner and family, considering the venue capacity and budget constraints. Decide on the number of plus-ones and whether children will be invited. Remember that catering costs are usually calculated per head, so a larger guest list will impact your budget.

Choose Your Wedding Party:

Select your bridesmaids and groomsmen early on, as they will provide emotional and tactical support. Be considerate of their time and finances, and keep them informed about costs and expectations.

Venue and Logistics:

Research and tour potential venues that can accommodate your large guest list. Consider factors such as location, capacity, packages, and restrictions. Book your venue as early as possible to avoid disappointment. Don't forget to plan transportation for the wedding party and guests, especially if the venue is remote.

Catering and Budgeting:

Food is a significant expense for large weddings, so consider ways to manage costs, such as opting for a brunch reception or skipping the cocktail hour. Be mindful of your budget throughout the planning process, and don't be afraid to make adjustments or compromises where necessary.

Self-Care and Support:

Planning a large wedding can be stressful, so prioritize self-care and mental health. Consider premarital counselling and rest during the planning process. Delegate tasks to your wedding party, family, or friends, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. Stay focused on what matters to you and your partner, and don't get too caught up in the small details. Enjoy the planning journey and the anticipation of your special day!

Frequently asked questions