Junior Rasmussen
A Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While wedding ceremonies vary, there are some common features of a Jewish wedding, such as the signing of a ketubah (marriage contract) by the couple and two witnesses, the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), the exchange of rings, and the breaking of a glass. The veiling ritual, known as badeken in Yiddish, is also commonly practised, though not by Sephardi Jews. The wedding ceremony consists of two parts: erusin or kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (nuptials). The Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings, are also a key element in a Jewish wedding. For those who have been married before, the Jewish wedding process remains largely the same, though some aspects may be modified for egalitarianism or same-gender couples.
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What You'll Learn
The veiling ceremony
There are several reasons given for the veiling ceremony. One is that it reminds the Jewish people of how Jacob was tricked by Laban into marrying Leah before Rachel, as her face was covered by her veil. Another reason is that Rebecca is said to have veiled herself when approached by Isaac, who would become her husband. The veil also emphasizes that the groom is interested in the bride's inner beauty, which never fades, rather than her external beauty, which will fade with time.
In some variants of the ceremony, the bride is veiled in the morning before an evening wedding, and the groom is not present. In most ceremonies, however, the absence of the groom is not permitted.
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Signing the Ketubah
The ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and conjugal responsibilities to the bride, as well as what should happen in the event of a divorce or untimely death. It is a longstanding tradition that has been an essential part of Jewish weddings for more than 2,000 years. The ketubah signing ceremony, dating back to the 2nd century B.C.E., usually takes place in a private room shortly before the wedding ceremony. The groom, a rabbi, and two witnesses are necessary for the ceremony to take place, though some couples may choose to include the bride and close family and friends as well. In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the witnesses must be male and cannot be relatives of the couple, but in more modern Jewish practices, the witnesses can be male or female and do not have to be observant.
The ketubah is typically written in Aramaic, though some couples may choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better suit their relationship. The text of the ketubah describes the values on which the marriage is to be based and often includes words of love and promise. It also includes the names of the couple, the date of the wedding, and other details. The ketubah is considered an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage, and a wedding cannot commence without it.
During the ketubah signing ceremony, the ketubah document is filled out, reviewed, and signed by the witnesses. In modern practices, the couple may also choose to sign the ketubah along with the witnesses. The ketubah is then considered complete, but it does not go into effect until after specific blessings are recited at the wedding ceremony and the couple unites under one roof or spends time alone together.
The ketubah signing is a meaningful ritual that signifies the couple's commitment to each other and is an important part of planning a Jewish wedding.
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Chuppah
The Chuppah is a four-posted structure with four open sides, usually made of silk or velvet, supported by four staves, and held by four men. It symbolises the new Jewish home being created by the marriage, with the open sides representing hospitality to one's guests. The Chuppah is also said to represent the presence of God over the marriage covenant.
Under the Chuppah, two parts of the Jewish wedding ceremony are performed. Firstly, the couple enters the Chuppah, and the bride circles the groom seven times, representing the seven days of creation, wedding blessings, and the groom being the centre of the bride's world. Nowadays, some couples choose to circle each other to make the ritual equal. The first part of the ceremony is Kiddushin, which involves greetings, a wine blessing, sips of wine, a ring exchange, and the reading of the Ketubah. The second part is Nissuin, which represents the couple uniting as one, and includes the Sheva Brachot, or well wishes for the couple, praise for God, and a peace prayer for Jerusalem, all done over a second cup of wine.
There are endless design choices for a Chuppah, from floral to simple, and it is possible to rent one. The size of the Chuppah depends on the size of the venue, the number of people who will stand under it, and the desired style. It is preferable for the Chuppah to be outdoors, under the stars, symbolising the hope that the couple will be blessed with a large family.
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Sheva Brachot
The blessings are usually chanted in Hebrew, but they may also be read in English. The Seven Blessings are traditionally recited over a glass of wine, with two cups of wine poured together into a third, symbolising the creation of a new life together. The wine that has been mixed is then poured back into cups for the bride and groom, and also poured into the third cup, which is shared by the community.
The Sheva Brachot meal often features separate seating for men and women, and is anchored by bread, with each guest receiving a challah roll. The meal is typically followed by two cups of wine being poured. The focus of the Sheva Brachot is a sit-down meal, and the dinners are a way to have real community celebrations for the couple.
For a second wedding, the custom is to celebrate fewer days of Sheva Brachot than for a first wedding. However, if the spouses were never married in a valid religious ceremony, some permit celebrating the full seven days. There is no actual obligation to celebrate Sheva Brachot for a certain number of days.
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Yichud
The Yichud is a time for the couple to be alone and have their first moments of physical contact as a married couple. In modern times, it is also a practical moment for the newlyweds to eat, drink, and embrace before the busyness of the wedding celebrations. In some cases, the couple may choose to break their fast together during the Yichud. The Yichud can last between 8 and 20 minutes, and it usually takes place in a private room.
The room is often decorated for the couple, with large hanging sheets of coloured, patterned cloth, wall cushions, and short-length mattresses for reclining. In the past, the marriage was consummated during the Yichud, but this is not common practice today. To ensure the couple's privacy, the room is locked, and witnesses, friends, or family members guard the outside. The rabbi, along with the couple, organises the logistics of this tradition.
The Yichud is a significant moment for the couple to reflect on their marriage and spend quality time together before rejoining the wedding celebrations. It is a romantic idea to have a few private moments with your partner before joining the party.
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Frequently asked questions
A Jewish wedding ceremony follows Jewish laws and traditions, and typically includes the following:
- A ketubah (marriage contract) that is signed by two witnesses
- A chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy)
- A ring owned by the groom that is given to the bride under the canopy
- The breaking of a glass
Technically, the Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages:
- Kiddushin (betrothal or sanctification)
- Nissuin (marriage)
The breaking of the glass is to remind us that even in the height of our joy, we should be aware of life’s sorrows, and that marriage includes both difficult and happy times.
