Selecting The Perfect Chinese Wedding Date: A Guide To Tradition And Auspicious Timing

Chinese wedding traditions and superstitions are steeped in over 2,400 years of history. Couples who follow these traditions believe that choosing an auspicious date for their wedding will ensure a happy and prosperous marriage.

There are many factors to consider when selecting an auspicious date, and it can be a complex process. For example, it is considered unlucky to marry on a birth or death date, so couples must avoid the bride, groom, parents, and unmarried siblings' birthdays or death dates. It is also inauspicious to marry during the lunar months of March, July, and September, as these months include festivals related to death.

Some years are considered more auspicious than others. A double spring—a year with two beginnings of spring—is considered lucky, while a blind year, or a year without a beginning of spring, is unlucky. A leap year, which has 13 months, is also considered lucky, as it symbolises connubial love and harmony.

Consulting a Feng Shui master is one way to ensure the wedding date is chosen perfectly. However, this option can be expensive. Couples can also choose to navigate these traditions themselves, using resources like the Chinese Almanac or Tung Shing, or by prioritising dates that are significant to them as a couple.

Zodiac signs and their compatibility

The 12 signs can be divided into four compatibility triangles of three animals each, also known as San He (three harmonies or triple harmony). These triangles are based on the shared characteristics and temperaments of the animals. The four compatibility triangles are:

• Rat, Dragon, Monkey: This group is characterised by their lively, open, and flamboyant nature, as well as their comfort in social settings. They are action-oriented and intelligent, often complementing each other intellectually. However, they can also be manipulative and selfish.
• Ox, Snake, Rooster: This trio is known for their deep thinking and strong commitment to achieving their goals. They are responsible and careful in their decision-making. While they may be self-centred at times, they complement each other in intellect and habits.
• Tiger, Horse, Dog: This group values freedom and has a strong sense of personal ego. They are clever, honest, and connect well with others. However, they can be aggressive and quick to anger when they feel restricted.
• Rabbit, Goat, Pig: These signs are known for their empathy, creativity, and determination. They often pursue artistic endeavours and are sensitive and refined. While they may appear gentle, they are strong and adaptable, making the most of new environments and unexpected circumstances.

Additionally, it is believed that animal signs that are four years apart are compatible, while those that are six years apart are incompatible. For example, the Rat and Dragon are compatible, but the Rat and Horse are incompatible.

It is important to note that zodiac compatibility is not an exact science, and there are other factors that contribute to the success of a relationship. However, understanding zodiac compatibility can provide valuable insights and guidance for relationships, including romantic partnerships.

Lucky and unlucky months

In Chinese culture, choosing a lucky wedding date is a crucial step in wedding planning. The lunar calendar is used to determine the most auspicious times to get married, and certain months are considered unlucky due to the presence of festivals related to death. Therefore, March, July, and September are typically avoided as they contain the Ching Ming festival, the Hungry Ghost Festival, and the Chung Yeung Festival.

On the other hand, leap months, known as "Runyue," are considered the best time for weddings. The extra month is believed to symbolise harvest and abundance, promising successful marriages and happy lives. For instance, the leap month in 2020 was April, and the next lucky months for weddings will be February 2023 and June 2025.

Additionally, specific dates within each month are considered unlucky. According to Chinese legend, San-Niang was unable to marry due to the God of Marriage's refusal to pull the silken cord. In retaliation, she vowed to ruin the marriages of couples who wed on the 3rd, 7th, 13th, 18th, 22nd, and 27th of each month. Thus, these dates are best avoided.

It is also considered unlucky to marry during a year without spring, known as a "blind year," as it is associated with becoming a widow and having bad luck with childbirth. Years without spring include 2016, 2019, 2021, 2024, and 2027.

When choosing a wedding date, it is also essential to consider the zodiac signs of the bride and groom. Certain signs conflict with each other, such as the Ox and the Sheep, the Rat and the Horse, and the Dragon and the Dog. Therefore, those born under the Sheep sign should avoid marrying during the month of the Ox.

Finally, priority is usually given to the bride's birthday when selecting a wedding date. Superstition dictates that ignoring this rule could lead to an unhappy marriage and potential divorce.

Lucky and unlucky numbers

Lucky Numbers:

• Number 8: The Luckiest Number – In Chinese, the pronunciation of the number 8 is similar to the word for "prosperity" or "wealth," making it highly favoured for important events like weddings. The Beijing 2008 Olympic Games began at 8:08 pm on 08/08/2008 to bring good luck.
• Number 9: Symbolising Longevity – The number 9 is considered lucky, especially for weddings, as its pronunciation in Chinese, "jiu," means "long-lasting." Couples may choose wedding dates with the number 9 to symbolise a long-lasting marriage.
• Number 6: Representing Smoothness and Success – The number 6 signifies "smooth sailing" or "everything going smoothly" in Chinese. Couples may incorporate the number 6 into their wedding date to promote harmony and balance in their marital life.
• Number 2: Meaning "Double" – The number 2 means "double" or "double the joy" in Chinese. It is often considered a good number for weddings, symbolising double happiness and joy.

Unlucky Numbers:

• Number 4: The Most Unlucky Number – In Chinese, the pronunciation of the number 4 is similar to the word for "death," making it widely avoided. Couples typically refrain from choosing wedding dates with the number 4 to prevent any association with death or bad luck.
• Number 7: Symbolising Complexity – The number 7 holds complex symbolism in Chinese culture, with varying interpretations across regions and customs. In some regions, it is linked to death and mourning due to its pronunciation being similar to the word "together" in Mandarin. Therefore, the number 7 is generally avoided for weddings and other important events.

Birthdays and death dates

In addition, any date associated with death or ghosts is considered a bad time to marry. Death dates and funeral dates should be avoided, as well as any date within three months. The months of March, July, and September are also considered inauspicious due to the presence of ghost festivals: Ching Ming Festival, the Hungry Ghost Festival, and the Chung Yeung Festival.

The Chinese legend of San Niang further influences the selection of an auspicious wedding date. According to the legend, San Niang was unable to get married due to the God of Marriage's refusal to pull the silken cord. Out of spite, she vowed to ruin the marriages of couples who wed on the 3rd, 7th, 13th, 18th, 22nd, and 27th of every month. Thus, these dates are considered inauspicious for weddings.

The Eight Characters of Birth Time

The Four Pillars of Destiny, or BaZi (Eight Characters), is a person's birth date based on the Ganzhi (stem-branch) calendar – a traditional Chinese calendar that records the year, month, day, and hour of birth. The Four Pillars refer to the year, month, day, and hour pillars of a birthday in the Chinese solar calendar, with each pillar consisting of two characters, making eight characters (Ba Zi) in total.

The stem-branch calendar consists of eight characters: year stem, year branch, month stem, month branch, day stem, day branch, hour stem, and hour branch. Each pillar is derived from 60 different combinations of stems and branches, and the whole rotation is known as the Sixty Jia-Zi (六十甲子). The Four Pillars of Birth consists of the Year Pillar, Month Pillar, Day Pillar, and Time Pillar.

The two characters in each pair are made up of one character from the Heavenly Stems and one from the Earthly Branches. There are 10 Heavenly Stems and 12 Earthly Branches, and each combination results in a different Stem-Branch. The Heavenly Stems are: 甲，乙，丙，丁，戊，己，庚，辛，壬，癸. The Earthly Branches are: 子，丑，寅，卯，辰，巳，午，未，申，酉，戌，亥. The Earthly Branches are also represented by the 12 Chinese Zodiacs.

Each Stem and Branch represents a Yin or Yang (阴阳) Element (Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, Earth). The day stem of a birthday – an individual's self-element – determines the roles of the other Stems and Branches in the overall birth chart.

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