Crafting Wedding Toasts: Asking Your Friends To Participate

Asking friends to make a wedding toast can be a daunting task, but it is a great way to honour your friends and add a personal touch to your wedding celebration. The key to successfully inviting friends to give a toast is to be polite and provide them with enough time to prepare. It is also important to consider the type of stories and anecdotes that are appropriate for the occasion. While it is good to share funny and heartfelt moments, it is crucial to respect the couple's privacy and avoid sharing inside jokes or embarrassing details. Keeping the toast short and sincere will make it more memorable and ensure that the guests remain engaged.

Asking the right people

When deciding who to ask, consider the people closest to you and your partner. This could include siblings, parents, or close friends. If you are not having a wedding party, ask those closest to you and give them a few weeks' notice so they have time to prepare. It is also a good idea to ask them formally and give them the option to opt-out if they are uncomfortable with public speaking.

If you are unsure about who to ask, consider the stories you want to be shared. For example, if you want a funny anecdote shared, ask the person who is most likely to deliver it well. If you want an emotional toast, ask someone who knows you well and can speak authentically about your relationship.

Remember, those you ask to give a wedding toast should be people who you want to share in this special moment and who will help create a joyful and memorable celebration.

Giving them enough time to prepare

Asking friends to make a wedding toast can be a daunting task, but giving them enough time to prepare will ensure they feel ready and confident for the big day. Here are some tips to give your friends the time they need to craft the perfect toast:

Ask Well in Advance

It is important to give your friends ample time to prepare their wedding toast. While they may not need months, giving them at least a few weeks' notice is a considerate gesture. This will allow your friends to clear their schedules, gather their thoughts, and start crafting their speech. It also gives them the opportunity to ask you any questions or clarify any details beforehand.

Provide Clear Guidelines

When asking your friends to make a wedding toast, be sure to provide clear guidelines and expectations. Let them know the tone you are aiming for (humorous, sentimental, or a mix of both). Give them an idea of the length, ideally keeping it concise and between three to five minutes. This will help your friends structure their speech and ensure it aligns with the flow of the wedding reception.

Offer Help and Support

Your friends may feel honoured to be chosen for the wedding toast, but they may also experience some anxiety or writer's block. Offer your support and help throughout the process. Let them know you are available to review drafts, provide feedback, or even just lend a listening ear as they practise their speech. This will make them feel more confident and comfortable.

Share Meaningful Details

If your friends are struggling to come up with ideas, share meaningful details about your relationship, inside jokes (that are appropriate for the audience), or specific memories that they can incorporate into their speech. These personal touches will make their wedding toast more heartfelt and engaging.

Encourage Rehearsal

Encourage your friends to rehearse their wedding toast beforehand. This will help them become familiar with the flow of their speech and make any necessary adjustments. Rehearsing will also help them manage their nerves and ensure they feel more comfortable on the day of the wedding.

Remind Them to Enjoy the Process

Lastly, remind your friends to enjoy the process of preparing their wedding toast. It is an honour to be chosen, and their words will be a meaningful contribution to your special day. Encourage them to focus on the joy of celebrating your union and the love that will be felt on the day.

By following these tips, you will give your friends ample time to prepare thoughtful and engaging wedding toasts. Their words will add to the joy and celebration of your wedding day, creating lasting memories for everyone involved.

Keeping it short and sweet

When asking friends to make a wedding toast, it's important to keep in mind that not everyone is comfortable with public speaking. Here are some tips to keep the request short and sweet while still conveying the honour you'd like to bestow on your friends:

Keep it Casual:

Start by having an informal conversation with your friends. Bring up the topic casually and ask if they would be willing to give a toast at your wedding. A simple "Hey, we'd love for you to give a toast at our wedding—are you up for it?" can be a great way to pop the question. This direct approach shows your trust and confidence in them.

Provide Reassurance:

Many people fear public speaking, so it's essential to reassure your friends that their words mean more to you than perfection. Let them know that their presence and participation are what matter most. You can say something like, "We know public speaking isn't everyone's cup of tea, but your words will mean so much to us."

Give Them Guidance:

Offer your friends a rough guideline for the toast. Let them know the general length you have in mind, such as "We'd adore a brief toast" or "We're thinking a few minutes for the toast." You can also provide a theme or tone you'd like them to follow, such as keeping it light and humorous or sharing a particular memory. For example, "We thought you could share a funny anecdote from when we first met."

Offer Flexibility:

Ensure your friends know that they have some flexibility in how they craft their toast. They might prefer to wing it, write down a few key points, or prepare a more detailed speech. Let them know that whatever style they're comfortable with is absolutely fine.

Provide Support:

Offer to help your friends in any way you can. Whether it's brainstorming ideas, providing feedback, or simply being a sounding board, let them know you're there for them. Reassure them that they don't have to go through the process alone and that you're excited to collaborate with them.

By keeping the request casual, providing reassurance, giving guidance, and offering support, you can make your friends feel special and comfortable as they prepare to celebrate your big day with a heartfelt toast.

Sharing funny, sentimental or romantic stories

Sharing stories is a great way to make your wedding toast memorable. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a meaningful and engaging toast:

Personal Connection

Share a story that reflects your unique relationship with the couple. It could be a funny anecdote about how you met the groom or a touching moment when the bride was there for you during a difficult time. Specific and unique details will make your toast more heartfelt and genuine.

Length and Structure

Keep your toast concise, around 3-5 minutes. Start with an attention-grabbing introduction, such as a quote about love or marriage. Then, share your main story or message, and conclude with a heartfelt wish for the couple's future. Having a clear structure will help you stay focused and avoid tangents.

Tone and Audience

Balance humour with sincerity in your toast. A few lighthearted jokes can put everyone at ease, but don't let them overshadow the heartfelt sentiment. Consider your audience as well. Avoid off-colour humour or inside jokes that may not be appropriate for all guests.

Practice and Delivery

Rehearse your toast multiple times before the wedding. Practice making eye contact while speaking and projecting your voice so those in the back can hear you. The more comfortable and confident you appear, the more engaged your audience will be.

Examples of Sentimental Toasts:

"John, my best friend, my brother in all but blood. Standing here today, watching you marry the love of your life, Sarah, fills me with indescribable joy. From our childhood adventures in your backyard treehouse to our college shenanigans and beyond, you've been a constant in my life... Sarah, from the moment John met you, I saw a change in him. He became happier, more driven, and even started doing his own laundry! You bring out the best in him, and for that, I'll be forever grateful... To John and Sarah, may your love story continue to unfold with the same magic that brought you together."

Examples of Humorous Toasts:

"Well, folks, as Emma's maid of honour, I'm contractually obligated to embarrass her in front of all her loved ones... First off, let's talk about Emma's infamous 'cooking' phase in college. Did you know that she once set off the fire alarm trying to boil water...? But for all her questionable life choices, Emma's made one brilliant decision today – marrying Jake. Jake, you're getting a woman who can turn any situation into an adventure, even if that adventure involves explaining to the fire department why the smoke alarm is going off..."

Incorporating Quotes:

You can also incorporate quotes into your toast to enhance its impact. Here are some examples:

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Marriage is not just spiritual communion; it is also remembering to take out the trash." – Joyce Brothers

"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." – Amy Bloom

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin

Using quotes, poems or toasts from online

There are many quotes, poems, and toasts available online that you can use when asking a friend to make a wedding toast. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Quotes

• "There is only one happiness in life: To love and be loved." — George Sand
• "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
• "The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time." — Julia Child
• "Where there is love there is life." — Mahatma Gandhi
• "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
• "You don't marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can't live without." — Unknown
• "May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day in paradise." — Rumi
• "Grow old with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made." — Robert Browning
• "The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return." — Moulin Rouge

Poems

A wedding poem can be a beautiful way to capture the essence of the couple's relationship and wish them a lifetime of happiness. Here is an example of a wedding poem that you can use as inspiration:

> "May your love be firm,

> And may your dream of life together

> Be a river between two shores—

> By day bathed in sunlight, and by night

> Illuminated from within.

> May the heron

> Carry news of you to the heavens,

> And the salmon bring

> The sea’s blue grace.

> May your twin thoughts

> Spiral upward like leafy vines,

> Like fiddle strings in the wind,

> And be as noble as the Douglas fir.

> May you never find yourselves back to back

> Without love pulling you around

> Into each other's arms."

> — James Bertolino, "A Wedding Toast"

Toasts

• "Here’s to the past, for all that you’ve learned. Here’s to the present, for all that you share. Here’s to the future, for all that you’ve got to look forward to."
• "May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam."
• "To the bride and groom, may the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out."
• "May your love always be added. May it never be subtracted. May your household multiply and may your hearts never be divided!"
• "May 'for better or worse' be far better than worse."
• "Here’s to the bride and the bridegroom, We’ll ask their success in our prayers, And through life’s dark shadows and sunshine, That good luck may always be theirs."

Frequently asked questions