
Wedding invitation envelopes set the tone for your entire celebration. It is important to address envelopes in a way that feels appropriate to you and your event, and respectful of your guests' identities. There are a few different scenarios to be aware of that will change how you write guests' names on your envelopes. For example, an invite addressed to a married couple differs from one addressed to an unmarried couple. The outer envelope should include the recipient's full mailing address, placed in the centre of its front side. If your invitation suite is elaborate, you may choose to have a stylish inner envelope that's protected during the mailing process by a more durable outer envelope. You can also include a return address or add your name, initials, or a special date for a sophisticated touch.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Envelope type | Outer and inner envelopes |
| Outer envelope | Include recipient's full mailing address in the centre of the front side |
| Inner envelope | Write the name of each recipient |
| Married couples | Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name] or write out both names individually |
| Unmarried couples | Write each person's name on a separate line |
| Married couples retaining separate last names | List their names on the same line with "and" between |
| Couples sharing the same last name | Write both names on the same line or use French plural abbreviations |
| Non-binary guests | Use traditional titles like Mr. or Ms. for 'he' or 'she,' and Mx. for 'they' |
| Military guests | Address with their full rank followed by their full name |
| Government officials | Peruse The Protocol School of Washington or the Correspondence Manual for the U.S. Department of Transportation Federal Highway Administration |
| Return address | Add your name, initials, or a special date |
| Format | Use an Excel or Google Sheets file with columns for guest(s), street address, city, state, and zip code |
| Envelope size | A7 for invitations, A2 for RSVP, enclosure, and thank-you cards |
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What You'll Learn

Addressing married vs unmarried couples
When it comes to addressing envelopes for wedding thank-you cards, there are a few different scenarios to consider, such as addressing married versus unmarried couples. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this:
Addressing Married Couples:
For married couples, the traditional format is to use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Hammond". However, a more modern approach is to include both spouses' first names, such as "Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Amy Hammond". This acknowledges the wife's identity and is becoming increasingly popular. Alternatively, you can use the French plural abbreviation "Mrs." before both spouses' last names if they share a last name, such as "Mrs. Joseph and Mrs. Amy Hammond".
Addressing Unmarried Couples:
When addressing unmarried couples, it is customary to list their names on separate lines, each with their appropriate titles. For example, "Ms. Emma Johnson" and "Mr. Ethan Miller". If you are closer to one of the individuals, it is common to list that person's name first. If you know them both equally well, tradition dictates that you start with the female's name.
Other Considerations:
It is worth noting that some people may have preferences or sensitivities regarding their titles, especially in cases of divorce or widowhood. It is considerate to inquire about their preferred honorific for formal occasions. Additionally, when addressing envelopes, avoid using apostrophes when pluralizing last names. For example, write "The Smiths" instead of "The Smith's".
Ultimately, the most important aspect of addressing envelopes is to be respectful of your guests' identities and preferences. Feel free to adapt these guidelines to fit your event and your guests' unique circumstances.
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Addressing those with non-binary genders
When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to consider the different scenarios that will change how you write guests' names on your envelopes. This includes addressing envelopes to those with non-binary genders. Here are some tips to ensure your wedding is inclusive and that your non-binary guests feel respected and welcomed:
- Use gender-neutral terms: Avoid using binary terms such as "bride", "groom", "husband", or "wife". Instead, opt for gender-neutral alternatives like "nearlyweds" or "newlyweds" to describe the couple. You can also use the term "fiancx" in your invitations.
- Pronouns: Ask your guests how they prefer to be addressed. You can include a note on your invitations about pronoun protocol and encourage guests to share their pronouns. This can be done through pronoun stickers or by simply stating "pronouns: [blank]" on the invitation.
- Titles: Instead of gender-specific titles like "Miss", "Mr", and "Mrs", use the gender-neutral title "Mx" (pronounced: mix). This is a great way to respect the gender identity of your non-binary guests and create an inclusive space.
- Restrooms: Provide gender-neutral restrooms at your wedding venue. This is a simple yet powerful way to ensure that all your guests feel comfortable and respected, regardless of their gender identity.
- Communicate with vendors: Train your vendors on using inclusive language and expanding their thinking around gender etiquette. For example, encourage your caterers and bar staff to avoid using terms like "sir" and "ma'am". Let your DJ know that certain traditions, like the bouquet toss, are for everyone. Create a safe and inclusive space for your non-binary guests by ensuring your vendors are on the same page.
- Avoid assumptions: Instead of making assumptions about your non-binary guests' needs, take the initiative to ask them directly. This can be done through email or a phone call, where you can ask for their preferences and feedback. This approach shows your commitment to creating an inclusive wedding celebration.
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Addressing military personnel
When addressing wedding thank-you cards to military personnel, it is important to follow the correct etiquette. Here are some detailed instructions on how to address envelopes for wedding thank-you cards to military personnel:
Outer Envelope:
On the outer envelope, it is customary to include the guest's rank, full name, and military branch. For example, "Captain Samantha Hubbard, United States Army". It is important to capitalize the rank when writing it out in full. If you are unsure of the guest's exact rank, it is better to use a more general title such as “Sir” or "Ma’am" followed by their surname. You can also include their unit designation, P.O. box, and designator on the delivery line.
Inner Envelope:
For the inner envelope, you can use a shortened version of the address, including only the guest's title and surname. For example, "Captain Hubbard". If the guest is a veteran or a retired officer, they should still be addressed by their official title unless they specifically request otherwise. In addition, if the female guest is in the military and the male guest is not, the female's name should be written first, followed by the male's name. For example, "Captain Khloe Small, United States Army and Mr. Ethan Wilson".
Shorthand and Abbreviations:
When addressing a physical letter, you can use the shorthand or abbreviation of the guest's rank instead of spelling out the full title. For example, a brigadier general's title of address is "General," but the abbreviation is "Brig. Gen.". You can look up the shorthand or abbreviation online if you are unsure.
Return Address:
If you or a parent who served in the military is collecting the RSVPs, it is helpful to include your military title on the return address envelope. This saves your guests the trouble of guessing your rank and figuring out the correct wording in their responses. You can also include your name, initials, or a special date for a sophisticated touch.
Saluting and Verbal Address:
When addressing military personnel in person, it is not expected for civilians to salute them. While some service members may view it as a sign of respect, others may find it unnecessary or even insulting. Instead, use their proper title followed by their surname, such as "Major Stevens" or "Sergeant Jameson". If you are unsure of their rank, "Sir" or "Ma'am" is always appropriate.
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Including guests' names
When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, it's important to consider traditional etiquette and modern preferences. Here are some detailed guidelines for including guests' names when addressing envelopes for wedding thank-you cards:
Married Couples:
If you're inviting a married couple, there are a few options for including their names. One traditional way is to write "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Hammond". However, a more modern approach is to include both spouses' full names, such as "Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Amy Hammond". If the couple has the same last name, you can also write their names on the same line, such as "Mr. Joseph Hammond and Mrs. Amy Hammond".
Unmarried Couples:
For unmarried couples, it is common to address each person individually on separate lines. For example, "Mr. James Montgomery" and "Ms. Stephanie Chen". If you are closer to one person in the couple, list their name first. If you are equally close to both, you can use alphabetical order.
Doctors:
When inviting doctors to your wedding, the address format depends on their marital status and last names. If they have different last names, use "Dr." followed by their first and last names on the same line, such as "Dr. Tami Takata and Dr. Angela Smith". If they have the same last name, you can address them as "The Doctors Smith".
Non-Binary Guests:
When addressing a non-binary guest, it is important to use their preferred pronouns. You can use traditional titles like "Mr." or "Ms." for those who use 'he' or 'she' pronouns, respectively. For those who use 'they' pronouns, the gender-neutral title "Mx." can be used.
Families:
When inviting a whole family, you can list each member's name individually. Traditionally, you list the parents' names first, followed by the children's names in order of birth. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Carter and Children". If you are unsure of the children's names, you can simply add "and family" after the parents' names.
Guests' Preferences:
Keep in mind that some guests may have preferences for their names on the envelope. Some may prefer no title at all, such as "Kevin Diaz". Others may use multiple honorifics or have specific preferences due to being widowed or divorced. It is considerate to ask guests about their preferred form of address for formal occasions.
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Formal vs modern etiquette
When addressing wedding invitation envelopes, there is a blend of traditional etiquette and modern considerations to keep in mind. The traditional way of addressing envelopes is to use formal titles and write out full names, with almost nothing abbreviated. For married couples, the man's full name is written out, followed by "Mr. and Mrs." and their shared last name. For unmarried couples, each person's name is written on a separate line. The outer envelope includes the recipient's full mailing address, centred on the front side.
However, modern etiquette allows for more flexibility and personal preference. Many couples are now opting for a hybrid approach, using formal titles but adding the names of both parties in a couple. For example, "Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Amy Hammond" instead of "Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Hammond". This approach recognises the individual identities of both people in the couple. Modern etiquette also allows for some informality, depending on the preferences of the couple and their guests. For instance, it is acceptable to use "Ms." for women regardless of their marital status, and to address non-binary guests with gender-neutral titles such as "Mx."
When addressing military or government officials, it is important to use their full rank and name, but the branch is only included for formal government or military correspondence, not social events like weddings.
To ensure your guests feel comfortable and included, it is recommended to include the names of your guests' plus-ones if you know them. For engaged couples, you can use "The Future Mr. and Mrs. (last name)" or recognise their impending marriage with "the soon-to-be-married". If they retain their last names, you can list them on separate lines or use French plural abbreviations.
In terms of practical considerations, it is important to give yourself enough time to collect mailing information and get your address list in order. You can set up an Excel or Google Sheets file to organise guest names, addresses, and other details. Selecting the right size envelope is also crucial, with A7 envelopes being the most common size for wedding invitations.
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Frequently asked questions
For your wedding thank-you cards, the A2 size (4.375" x 5.75") is recommended.
You can address your guests on the outer envelope using their full names, including titles such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Ms.". On the inner envelope, you can simply write their names without the titles. When inviting a married couple, put their names on the same line. If they have different last names, list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order.
When addressing the return address, do not use your married name without adding "the future" or "soon-to-be". You can use your full names with or without courtesy titles. If your wedding is large and some guests might not know your first name, include both your first name and last name.
It is best to handwrite the addresses on the envelopes. However, you can use pre-printed return address labels on the back flap to save time.











































