Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding speeches are an integral part of a couple's big day. They are a chance for the couple to thank their guests, and for their loved ones to share their favourite memories of the newlyweds and offer blessings and advice for their future together. Wedding speeches are usually given during the wedding reception, either before or after dinner, but they can also take place at the rehearsal dinner. The traditional order of speeches is the father of the bride, the parents of the groom, the maid of honour, and the best man. However, this can vary depending on the couple's preferences and their family situation.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of Speeches | No more than 3 |
| Length of Speeches | 5 minutes per person |
| Timing | Before or after the meal |
| Order of Speakers | Father of the bride, groom, best man |
| Location | Seated meal or cocktail hour |
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What You'll Learn
The order of speakers
The Hosts
It is customary for the hosts to speak first, usually before dinner. This is a great way to welcome everyone and express excitement about the wedding. It is best to do this before the meal to hold the attention of the guests and avoid interrupting their dining experience.
A Toast to the Couple
Following the hosts, a toast to the newlyweds is a lovely gesture. This is often done by the groom, who also takes this opportunity to thank the parents, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and his bride. In modern times, the bride may also give a speech or they may opt for a joint speech.
Parents of the Bride and Groom
Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the mother of the groom, or vice versa. These speeches are usually shorter and express happiness at the union of their children. Sometimes, the couple may opt to have these speeches during the rehearsal dinner, especially if the groom's parents are hosting it, as per old-school wedding etiquette.
Maid of Honour and Best Man
The maid of honour and best man speeches are highly anticipated and often include a mix of humour, personal anecdotes, and well wishes for the couple. They can be done separately or as a joint speech. These speeches are typically done after the parents' speeches, but some couples may choose to switch the order.
Other Speakers
Additional speakers can include other bridesmaids, groomsmen, siblings, or close friends. It is recommended to limit the number of speeches to around four to ensure the reception timeline stays on track. These speeches can be kept brief and are often done during dinner or before the dancing begins.
Master of Ceremonies
The wedding DJ or band leader often acts as the master of ceremonies, adding humour and structure to the reception. This is an optional role and can be a fun way to involve someone you know or a hired professional.
Remember, this is just a guideline, and you can adjust the order and number of speakers to suit your preferences and wedding style. The most important thing is to ensure the timing of the speeches works well with the overall flow of the reception.
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The content of the speech
The maid of honour's speech typically includes an introduction, a short story explaining their relationship with the couple, personal anecdotes, funny stories, encouraging words, and a closing remark. The best man's speech can follow a similar format, with a joke or two and a wedding toast to the newlyweds. It is important to keep the focus of the speech on the married couple.
If you are religious, you could mention how faith brought the couple together. You can also include a short quote or parable to illustrate a piece of wisdom. It is also a good idea to thank everyone in attendance, including the staff, to make them feel appreciated.
- Keep the speech concise and heartfelt.
- Open with a joke to loosen up the crowd and dispel your nerves.
- Address the bride and groom directly, wishing them health, happiness, and prosperity.
- Practice your speech beforehand to help ease your anxiety.
- Make the speech your own, using your unique thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
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How to deliver a speech
How to deliver a wedding speech
Wedding speeches are an integral part of the couple's big day. If you've been tasked with giving a wedding speech, you might be feeling a little nervous. But don't worry, with some preparation and practice, you can deliver a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons.
Write your speech in advance
Give yourself plenty of time to write your speech. It's a big responsibility, so take it seriously. Compose several drafts, check for errors, and have a friend proofread it. Make sure your speech is ready to be memorized two to three weeks in advance so that you have plenty of time to practice and commit it to memory.
Know when to deliver your speech
Check with the wedding planner or master of ceremonies to find out the schedule for the day, including when you'll be giving your speech. Typically, speeches are reserved for the reception after everyone is seated and has begun eating and drinking, but this can vary depending on the format of the wedding. Knowing the timeline will help you feel more prepared and less nervous.
Practice, practice, practice
Once your speech is written, it's time to practice. Recite your speech out loud, and if you're using any technology or equipment, such as a microphone or PowerPoint, make sure you're comfortable with it. Practising in front of a mirror or in the actual venue can also help you feel more confident. If you're worried about forgetting your speech, create cue cards to prompt you on the day.
Relax and enjoy it
Remember, everyone's nervous about giving a wedding speech, but try to relax and enjoy the moment. Take a deep breath and smile before you start speaking. Stand up straight and make eye contact with your audience to help you feel more confident. Speak clearly and at a steady pace, pausing to let your points sink in and for any laughs.
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The timing of the speech
The timing of the wedding speeches is crucial, as their length and placement can influence the overall celebration. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, here are some guidelines and considerations to help you decide on the timing of the speeches during your wedding reception:
Before or After the Meal
A key consideration is whether to have the speeches before or after the wedding meal. Having the speeches before the meal can be a great way to kick things off and grab your guests' attention, avoiding small talk at the table. It also ensures that your guests have something to eat soon after arriving, as they might be hungry after a long day of celebrations. On the other hand, having the speeches after the meal can improve the flow of the reception and allow your guests to give their full attention to the speakers. It also means that nervous speakers can relax and enjoy their meal before standing up to speak.
During the Meal
If you're having a plated dinner, you can choose to space out the speeches between courses. This can help maintain your guests' interest and prevent back-to-back speeches from becoming tedious. However, if you're having an informal meal like a buffet, there won't be a suitable break between courses for speeches.
At the Start or End of the Reception
While some couples choose to have the speeches at the start of the reception to get them out of the way, others opt for having them towards the end. Scheduling the speeches at the beginning can be a great way to set the tone for the rest of the night and allow your loved ones to relax and enjoy the rest of the reception stress-free. However, having the speeches at the very end might disrupt the flow of the reception and increase the likelihood of inebriated speeches.
Traditional Speech Order
The traditional order of wedding speeches typically starts with the father of the bride, followed by the groom, the best man, and the maid of honor. However, this order is not set in stone, and you can adjust it according to your preferences. For instance, some couples choose to have the best man speak before the maid of honor.
Time Limits
To ensure the smooth running of the reception, it's important to set time limits for each speaker. This will help keep the speeches concise and engaging and prevent them from monopolising the celebration. While there is no set time for the length of the speeches, a suggested timeframe is five minutes for the father of the bride, five to ten minutes for the groom, and ten to fifteen minutes for the best man.
Remember, the timing of the speeches should ultimately reflect your preferences and the unique flow of your wedding day. You can always seek advice from wedding professionals or refer to wedding planning guides for more tailored suggestions.
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The role of the couple
The wedding couple has a lot of flexibility in how they choose to structure the speech portion of their wedding reception. While there is a traditional order of speakers, the couple can decide to stick to this or break the mold.
The couple can choose to give a speech or toast themselves, either individually or together. If they do decide to speak, it is an opportunity to thank their guests, families, and each other. They may also want to thank those who helped with the wedding, including friends, family, and the wedding planner. It is recommended that the couple prepares their speech in advance, writing down what they plan to say or at least creating an outline. Practicing the speech in advance, perhaps recording it on a phone, can help the couple feel more confident on the day.
The couple may also choose to give a welcome speech, particularly if they are hosting the wedding themselves. This can be a nice way to set the tone for the rest of the reception.
If the couple does not want to give a speech, they can still be involved in the process by deciding on the order of speakers. They can choose to follow the traditional order or switch it up, perhaps having the best man speak before the maid of honor, for example. The couple may also decide to limit the number of speeches, perhaps moving some to the rehearsal dinner, and asking speakers to keep their toasts concise.
Sample Timeline
A sample timeline for the wedding reception speeches could look like this:
- The couple gives a welcome speech.
- The father of the bride gives a speech.
- The parents of the groom give a speech.
- The maid of honor gives a speech.
- The best man gives a speech.
- The couple gives a closing speech, thanking everyone for their kind words and attendance.
Tips for the Couple's Speech
- Thank your guests, families, and each other.
- Thank those who helped with the wedding, including friends, family, and the wedding planner.
- Prepare your speech in advance, perhaps even practicing it out loud and recording it on your phone.
- If you feel overwhelmed, focus on a few people you want to mention by name.
- Include some memorable stories about your relationship and well wishes for the future.
- Avoid roasting each other—keep the tone positive and heartwarming.
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Frequently asked questions
There is no set time on how long wedding speeches should be, but they should ideally be given after a sit-down meal when everyone is in one space and can give their full attention to the speaker.
The father of the bride, the groom, the best man, and the maid of honour are the traditional speakers at a wedding reception. However, the parents of the groom, siblings, and other close family friends may also give speeches.
The best way to schedule wedding speeches is to ensure that they are well-spaced and do not disrupt the flow of the reception. Speeches can be given before or after the meal, with some couples choosing to have them between courses.
The traditional order of wedding speeches is the father of the bride, followed by the groom, the best man, and the maid of honour. However, some couples choose to have the best man and maid of honour speak first.
Wedding speeches should be heartfelt, entertaining, and not too long. Speakers should maintain eye contact and include personal anecdotes, funny stories, and encouraging words.
