Deborah Chan
Wedding rings are a significant part of the ceremony, symbolizing the couple's devotion to each other and their marriage vows. It is therefore crucial to ensure the rings are safe and secure before and during the ceremony. While the best man is the traditional ring holder, modern weddings offer a variety of options, from the officiant to the maid of honor, family members, or even the couple themselves. The ring bearer, often a child or pet, may also be involved in carrying the rings down the aisle, though they typically hand them off to the ring holder, who is responsible for keeping them safe until the exchange.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who holds the rings | Best man, maid of honour, officiant, ring bearer, or a parent or elder |
| Who is the ring bearer | A child with a close relationship to the couple, such as a niece or nephew, or a godchild |
| Where are the rings kept | On a ring pillow or cushion, or tied to the collar of the ring bearer's pet |
| Who holds the engagement ring | A bridesmaid or maid of honour |
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What You'll Learn
Choosing a ring bearer
The role of a ring bearer is to deliver the wedding bands to the couple during the ceremony. While it is not a required role, it can be a charming addition to the wedding party. Typically, the ring bearer is a young child, usually between the ages of 3 and 8. However, there is no real age limit, and some couples choose to have an adult friend or family member as the ring bearer, or even include their pets.
- Consider the appropriate age for your ring bearer. While the role is typically given to children, you can choose an adult or a younger child if that suits your wedding better. Just keep in mind that younger children might be more unpredictable, and you may need to be flexible if they are feeling tired or unwell on the day.
- Choose someone who is close to you and your partner. The ring bearer is usually the child of the couple's close friends or family members, such as the son of the maid of honour or best man, a nephew, or another loved one. If you are a parent, you may want to include your own child in this role.
- Discuss the particulars with the parents. Before asking a child to be your ring bearer, it is important to discuss the details with their parents, including whether the child will be invited to the reception, if they will need to attend the rehearsal, and any concerns they may have.
- Choose an outfit that coordinates with the wedding party. The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the colour scheme and level of formality of the wedding. For a black-tie event, a tiny tuxedo is a great option, while a more casual celebration might call for khakis with bowties and suspenders.
- Decide who will purchase the attire. Traditionally, the ring bearer's family pays for their outfit and accessories, but you may offer to cover the cost as a gesture of appreciation, especially if you are requesting a more expensive outfit.
- Consider giving a gift. It is customary for the ring bearer to receive a gift as a token of appreciation for their role in the wedding. This could be something they can wear on the day, such as sunglasses or quirky socks, or a personalised memento like an engraved frame.
- Plan for the rings. While the ring bearer typically carries the rings down the aisle, some couples prefer to give them fake rings or a symbolic empty pillow as a precaution. The real rings can be given to the best man or officiant to ensure their safety.
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Picking a ring holder
The Wedding Officiant
The wedding officiant is often a good choice as they will be standing at the front of the ceremony with you and can seamlessly produce the rings at the right moment. They are also likely to be the most experienced person at the wedding when it comes to weddings, so they are a safe pair of hands.
Best Man or Maid of Honour
The best man or maid of honour are the classic choice for ring holding duties. They are key members of the wedding party and are likely to be trusted, accountable adults.
Ring Bearer
A ring bearer is usually a child with a close relationship to the couple, such as a niece or nephew. They carry the rings down the aisle at the start of the ceremony, adding a cute factor to the wedding. However, it is not recommended to give them the actual rings as there is a lot of pressure and risk involved. Instead, an adult can wait with the real rings at the end of the aisle.
Family Member
Some couples choose to honour a family member by asking them to hold the rings. This could be a parent, who will already be seated at the front of the ceremony, or another close family member.
The Couple
If you want to keep things simple, the couple themselves can hold onto the rings. The groom, for example, might be the best option as he is most likely to have pockets.
Other Options
There are no strict rules about who holds the rings, so you can choose anyone special to you who is trustworthy. This could be a friend or another member of the wedding party. Alternatively, you could opt for a ring dish or box to keep the rings safe, with many stylish options available.
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The role of the best man
The best man's duties often begin before the wedding, with the groom often seeking their opinion when choosing an engagement ring. Once the couple is engaged, the best man is in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and activities. This includes planning the bachelor party and helping the groom and groomsmen choose and order their wedding attire, as well as coordinating any alterations. The best man may also be involved in other wedding planning tasks, such as selecting a date and venue.
On the wedding day, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place standing closest to the groom at the altar. The best man is often responsible for safely storing the wedding rings before the ceremony, either carrying them down the aisle himself or passing them to a ring bearer. After the ceremony, the best man signs the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honour, and hands the officiant their fee. The best man may also be tasked with collecting gifts, cards, and keepsakes from the venue and delivering them to the couple.
Throughout the wedding, the best man acts as a point of contact and mediator between the groom and the groomsmen, ensuring everyone is on schedule and performing their duties. The best man may also be asked to pose for wedding portraits and stand next to the bride and groom during a receiving line to greet guests. Ultimately, the best man is there to support the groom and ensure he enjoys his wedding day.
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The role of the maid of honour
The maid of honour is the bride's closest friend, sister, cousin, or even mother. The role of the maid of honour is to be the bride's assistant and provide support and help as needed. She is the bride's right hand and go-to friend before, during, and after the wedding.
The maid of honour is responsible for leading all bridal party-related tasks and has final decision-making power. She communicates with the bridesmaids and ensures all important tasks are completed. She also introduces everyone and sets up a group chat or another easy form of communication.
The maid of honour is often responsible for planning certain events, such as the bachelorette party, bridal shower, engagement party, and rehearsal dinner. She may also help with sending invitations, decorating, and dressing the bride. On the wedding day, she holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony and takes charge in moments that need a soothing hand.
In terms of holding the rings during the ceremony, there are no strict rules. While the maid of honour is a classic choice, the couple may choose someone trustworthy who is special to them, such as a parent or family member.
Overall, the maid of honour plays a crucial role in supporting the bride and ensuring that the wedding runs smoothly.
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The officiant's role
The officiant may also be responsible for guiding the couple through the ring exchange process during the wedding rehearsal. This includes instructing the ring bearer on when and how to give the rings to the ring holder, and ensuring that the couple knows how to properly place the ring on their partner's finger.
In addition to their role in the ring exchange, the officiant also has other important duties. They are responsible for prompting wedding role players with their cues and ensuring that the ceremony proceeds smoothly. The officiant stands at the front of the ceremony with the couple, making it convenient for them to hold the rings and produce them at the right moment.
Ultimately, the decision of who holds the rings during the wedding ceremony is up to the couple. While the best man, maid of honour, or another member of the wedding party are common choices, some couples may prefer to have the officiant hold the rings to ensure their safety and a seamless experience.
It is important to note that the exact duties of the officiant may vary depending on the couple's preferences and the specific traditions or rituals included in the wedding ceremony.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding officiant, best man, maid of honour, ring bearer, or a parent are common choices for who holds the rings in a wedding.
The ring bearer is usually a child with a close relationship to the couple, such as a niece or nephew, but can be anyone the couple chooses. The ring bearer walks down the aisle with the rings and hands them off to the best man or another designated ring holder when they reach the altar.
The ring holder is the person who keeps the rings safe until it is time for the ring exchange. The ring holder might stand at the altar beside the couple or take a seat in the front row.
The couple usually exchanges rings after they share their marriage vows. However, the exact order of the ceremony is up to the couple. Some couples choose to exchange their rings and vows at the same time, reciting their vows as they place the ring on their partner's finger.
