Rhiannon Hendricks
The “three months' salary” rule is a well-known guideline for how much one should spend on an engagement ring. This rule originated from a marketing campaign by diamond company De Beers in the 1930s during the Great Depression, when diamond sales were suffering due to financial strain. The campaign aimed to increase sales by promoting the idea that a man should spend a month's salary on an engagement ring, which later escalated to two months in the 1980s and three months by the end of the 20th century. While this rule has been widely accepted, it is not mandatory and modern couples are increasingly prioritizing personal budgets, financial stability, and values over this societal norm.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of months' salary | 1, 2, or 3 months' salary |
| Origin | A marketing campaign by diamond company De Beers in the 1930s |
| Purpose | To increase diamond sales |
| Current relevance | Considered outdated by modern couples, who prioritise financial stability and personal preferences |
| Average cost of an engagement ring | $5,000 to $7,000 |
| National average in the US | $5,500 |
| Average spend in 2025 | $6,280 |
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What You'll Learn
The three-month rule: A guideline, not a requirement
The idea that an engagement ring should cost three months' salary originated in the marketing campaigns of diamond companies during the Great Depression in the 1930s. The campaigns aimed to increase diamond sales by convincing consumers that the price of a diamond was directly proportional to the level of love and commitment. Initially, the campaigns suggested that one month's salary was the proper amount to spend on an engagement ring. Over the years, this amount increased to two months' salary in the 1980s and eventually three months' salary.
While the "three-month rule" has been a widely recognized guideline for engagement ring purchases, it is not a requirement. In recent years, this rule has fallen out of vogue, with many couples prioritizing financial stability and personal budgets over adherence to societal norms. The emphasis has shifted towards finding a meaningful ring that suits the couple's style, values, and financial situation.
The amount spent on an engagement ring should ultimately be guided by personal affordability, lifestyle, and relationship dynamics rather than a strict rule. Couples should focus on quality, sentiment, and financial practicality when choosing an engagement ring. It is important to consider future goals and budget constraints when deciding on a ring. For some, purchasing a house, travelling, or starting a family may take precedence over spending a substantial amount on an engagement ring.
Additionally, there are ways to maximize your budget when shopping for an engagement ring. For example, opting for a lab-grown diamond can result in significant savings, as they are typically cheaper than mined diamonds. Shopping during promotional seasons and utilizing promo codes or discounts can also help stay within a budget. Ultimately, the "three-month rule" is a guideline that can be considered, but it should not be taken as a mandatory requirement when purchasing an engagement ring.
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The two-month rule: A simpler alternative
The idea that an engagement ring should cost two months' salary originated from a De Beers marketing campaign in the 1980s. It was an update to their original campaign from the 1930s during the Great Depression, which claimed that a man should spend one month's salary on a ring.
The two-month rule is a simpler alternative to the more well-known three-month rule, which evolved from De Beers' original campaign. The three-month rule has been criticised for being outdated and not based on current facts or data. According to a Bank of America survey, 61% of people think this traditional guideline is not feasible in the current economy. Experts agree that shoppers should stick to a more thoughtful budget.
The two-month rule is based on the idea that an engagement ring should be proportional to salary. However, this is not a one-size-fits-all guideline, as everyone's preferences and dream rings are different. The rule is also not rooted in any logic and is simply a marketing ploy to increase diamond sales.
Instead of following the two-month rule, it is recommended that individuals focus on finding a meaningful ring that suits their budget and values. The key is to find a ring that feels comfortable within your budget and is symbolic of your love. There is no fixed amount that you "must" spend, and modern couples are prioritising financial stability and sentiment over adhering to outdated rules.
Overall, the two-month rule is a simpler alternative to the three-month rule, but it is still just a marketing-driven concept. Individuals should feel free to disregard it and focus on their personal finances, partner preferences, and lifestyle when deciding how much to spend on an engagement ring.
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Personal finances: Focus on affordability
The "three months' salary" rule for buying an engagement ring is well-known and stems from a De Beers marketing campaign in the 1930s. The campaign aimed to increase diamond sales by promoting the idea that a man should spend a month's salary on an engagement ring. Over time, this evolved into two months' salary in the 1980s and eventually three months' salary.
While this "rule" has been a guideline for many years, it is not a mandatory or fixed amount. In today's world, it is increasingly seen as outdated, with modern couples prioritizing personal budgets, financial stability, and values over societal norms. The emphasis should be on finding a meaningful ring that suits the couple's style, preferences, relationship dynamics, and budget rather than adhering to strict financial rules.
When considering the budget for an engagement ring, it is essential to focus on affordability and what is comfortable for your financial situation. There is no need to go into debt or compromise your financial well-being to purchase a ring. If you cannot afford your "dream ring", it is better to stick to a cheaper option or even propose without a ring. You can always upgrade the ring at a later date.
To budget properly for a ring, consider the "4Cs": cut, color, clarity, and carat. Knowing which of these factors to prioritize and which to compromise on can help determine the cost. For example, opting for a lab-grown diamond can be significantly cheaper than a mined one. Additionally, consider shopping during promotional seasons and looking for promo codes or discounts to save money.
Ultimately, the "right" amount to spend on an engagement ring depends entirely on personal finances, goals, and priorities. It is not a one-size-fits-all decision, and it is essential to make a choice that aligns with your partner's love language and your financial situation.
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Marketing campaigns: The origin of the rule
The “three months' salary" rule, which suggests that a buyer should allocate three months of income to purchasing an engagement ring, is a well-known tradition. However, the origin of this rule can be traced back to a marketing campaign by diamond companies, specifically De Beers, in the mid-20th century, specifically the 1930s. At that time, the diamond industry was facing challenges due to the financial strain caused by the Great Depression. As the leading diamond retailer, De Beers launched a campaign to boost the sales of diamond engagement rings, which were not yet a common choice for engagement jewellery. Through this campaign, De Beers associated diamond engagement rings with true love and commitment and suggested that buyers should spend one month's salary on the ring.
The De Beers campaign had a significant impact, increasing diamond sales by 50% by the end of the 20th century, with approximately 80% of engagement rings featuring diamonds. Over time, the recommended expenditure on engagement rings crept up. In the 1980s, the guideline evolved into "two months' salary", and eventually, it became the widely accepted “three months' salary" rule. This rule was promoted with the memorable tagline, "A Diamond Is Forever."
The marketing campaign by De Beers successfully shaped public opinion by suggesting that a diamond's value and cost were directly proportional to an individual's salary. This idea created expectations around the value of engagement rings, with higher costs being seen as a reflection of seriousness and stability in the relationship. However, it's important to note that this rule is not universally followed, and many consider it outdated. Today, many individuals opt for flexibility, choosing to spend within their means and prioritising their financial comfort and personal goals.
While the three-month rule has been a longstanding guideline, it may not be practical or suitable for everyone. Couples may have different financial circumstances, values, and expectations, and it is crucial to make decisions that align with these factors. Discussing preferences and making joint decisions can ensure that the purchase reflects what matters most to both partners and sets a strong foundation for their future together.
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Other budgeting tips: How to save on a ring
The idea that an engagement ring should cost three months' salary originated in a marketing campaign by diamond company De Beers in the 1930s. But there's no need to spend so much on a ring. Here are some tips for saving money:
Choose a lab-grown diamond
Lab-grown diamonds are chemically and visually identical to natural diamonds, but they're typically more affordable and environmentally friendly. You can expect to save at least 40% compared to an earth-mined diamond.
Opt for a near-colourless diamond
Diamonds are graded on a colour scale, with D being colourless and Z having a noticeable colour. Opting for a near-colourless diamond in the G-H range can save you money without compromising on beauty. If you set the ring in a warm-toned metal like yellow or rose gold, the diamond's colour may even appear whiter and brighter.
Choose a less common shape
Certain diamond shapes, such as round or princess, tend to be more expensive due to their popularity. Less common shapes like pear or marquise can be more budget-friendly, and elongated shapes can make a diamond look larger despite its carat weight.
Opt for a lower carat weight
Larger-carat diamonds are generally more expensive. Consider a slightly lower carat weight to save money, or opt for a centre stone slightly below a full-carat weight. For example, a 1.98 carat diamond may look the same size as a 2.0 carat diamond to the naked eye.
Choose a thin-band setting
Thin-band engagement ring settings can make your diamond look bigger. Alternatively, you could set a smaller diamond in a halo setting, which complements the centre stone by surrounding it with smaller diamonds.
Choose 14K gold
When it comes to metals, 14K gold is the lowest-priced and most durable option.
Shop around
Look at rings with someone who knows about diamonds and jewellery so you don't get ripped off, or shop somewhere that allows you to stick to your budget. You could also buy a loose diamond separately from the ring setting, which can be more cost-effective than buying a pre-set ring as you have more control over the cost of each component.
Pay with cash or wire transfer
Avoid paying interest and late fees by paying with cash or wire transfer instead of credit or charge cards.
Prioritise your goals
Consider whether you'd rather spend less on a ring and more on future goals like buying a house, travelling, or starting a family.
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Frequently asked questions
The traditional rule-of-thumb is that an engagement ring should cost the buyer three months' salary. However, this rule is increasingly seen as outdated, and modern couples tend to prioritise personal budgets and financial stability over societal norms.
The three-month rule was started by diamond companies in the 1930s to increase the sale of diamonds. The Great Depression had hurt the diamond industry, and companies wanted to encourage higher spending. Over time, the amount increased from one month's salary to two, and finally, three.
The three-month rule is not mandatory and can be used as a general guideline. The right amount depends on personal finances, preferences, and lifestyle. Experts advise sticking to a thoughtful budget and not going into debt.
