College Friends At Your Wedding: How Many To Invite?

Deciding on the number of college friends to invite to a wedding can be a tricky task. There are a few factors to consider, such as budget, venue size, and the couple's preferences for the wedding vibe. The average wedding size in 2024 is around 145 guests, including family, friends, and their plus-ones. Some couples opt for a smaller wedding with only close friends and family, while others go for a larger celebration with old friends and new. It's common for the guest list to be uneven, with more guests from one side, so don't worry too much about having a balanced number. When deciding on the number of college friends to invite, consider your relationship with them, how well they know your significant other, and whether you keep in regular touch.

How many college friends to invite if you're keeping your guest list tight

When deciding how many college friends to invite to your wedding, it's important to keep in mind the size of your guest list and the overall vision you have for your big day. Here are some tips to help you determine the number of college friends to include while keeping your guest list tight:

Prioritize Close Friends:

Start by making a list of your closest college friends who have remained an integral part of your life. These are the friends you regularly keep in touch with, share important life events with, and who know your partner well. They should be at the top of your guest list for college friends.

Consider Your Budget and Venue:

The number of college friends you can invite will depend on your overall budget and the size of your venue. If you're working with a limited budget or have a small venue, you may need to be more selective. Consider creating a "guest group" specifically for college friends and prioritize those who are closest to you.

Evaluate Other Guest Categories:

Think about the other categories of guests you want to include, such as immediate family, wedding party members, extended family, high school friends, and coworkers. Allocating a certain number of spots for each category can help you balance your guest list. For example, if you're inviting 50 guests, you may decide to allocate 20 spots for family, 15 for wedding party and close friends (including college friends), and the remaining 15 for extended family and other acquaintances.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones:

When creating your guest list, consider whether you will allow plus-ones for those who are in a relationship or married. This can significantly impact your numbers. If you're keeping your guest list tight, you may need to be more selective about who gets a plus-one, especially for guests who are not in serious relationships.

Don't Feel Obligated:

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who are closest to you. You don't need to invite everyone from your college days out of obligation. It's perfectly fine to only invite those friends who have remained a significant part of your life.

By following these guidelines, you can determine the appropriate number of college friends to invite while keeping your guest list tight and aligned with your vision for your wedding day.

Deciding whether to invite college friends you've lost touch with

Budget and Venue Constraints

The number of people you can invite to your wedding often depends on your budget and venue capacity. If you have a limited budget or a small venue, you may need to prioritize inviting only those who are closest to you. Consider whether inviting college friends you've lost touch with aligns with your budget and space constraints.

Maintaining Relationships

Think about whether you plan to maintain relationships with these college friends in the future. If you value these friendships and want to reconnect, inviting them to your wedding could be a meaningful way to rekindle those connections. However, if you don't see yourself staying in touch, it may not be a priority to include them on your guest list.

Group Dynamics and Individual Relationships

Consider the dynamics of your college friend group. Over time, friendships evolve, and individual relationships within a larger friend group may run their course. Evaluate whether your college friends remain a tight-knit group or if they now operate as separate, individual relationships. If the latter is the case, focus on the friends within that group who you still feel close to and want to celebrate with.

Your Current Relationship with Them

When deciding whether to invite college friends you've lost touch with, reflect on the nature of your current relationship with them. Ask yourself questions like: Do we still keep in touch regularly? Would I go out of my way to see them if I were in their area? Have we grown apart, or do we still share a strong connection? These considerations can help guide your decision.

Your Wedding Vision

Think about the vision you have for your wedding. Do you want an intimate gathering with only your nearest and dearest, or do you prefer a larger celebration with a broader range of guests? If you envision a smaller, more personal wedding, it may be best to invite only those college friends with whom you remain close. However, if you're planning a larger event, there may be more flexibility to include a broader range of friends.

How to decide on a number if you have a large group of college friends

Deciding on a number when you have a large group of college friends can be tricky. Here are some tips to help you decide:

Start with the essentials

Begin with the people you can't imagine celebrating your wedding day without. This could include your closest relatives, family members, and friends. If you have a large group of college friends, consider which of these friends are closest to you and your partner.

Consider your budget and venue

Your budget and venue will play a significant role in determining the number of guests you can invite. The cost of a wedding can vary, but on average, it ranges from $20,000 to $40,000. The more guests you invite, the higher the cost per guest, especially for catering, which can range from $27 per person for a buffet to $60 or more for a catered meal.

Be strategic with "guest groups"

Create "guest groups" to help you decide who to invite. Start with those closest to you and work your way outwards. For example, your immediate family members and wedding party members would be in the first group, followed by extended family, close friends, school friends, and so on.

Keep it proportional

If you have a large group of college friends, consider the proportion of friends to family you want at your wedding. A typical wedding has a ratio of one-third friends and two-thirds family, but you can adjust this to suit your preferences and the size of your friend group.

Don't feel obligated

Remember, you don't have to invite everyone. It's your special day, and you should invite those who are closest to you and will make the day meaningful. If you haven't spoken to or been in touch with a college friend in a long time, you're not obligated to invite them.

Be clear with plus-ones

Decide on a rule for plus-ones and stick to it. You can offer plus-ones to those in serious relationships or long-term live-in partners. This will help you manage the number of guests, especially if you have a large group of college friends.

By considering these factors and creating a strategic guest list, you can decide on a number that works for you, even with a large group of college friends.

Whether to invite college friends' plus-ones

When it comes to whether to invite college friends' plus-ones to your wedding, there are a few factors to consider. Firstly, it is important to understand that plus-ones are typically granted to married, engaged, or cohabitating guests as they are considered a "package deal". This ensures that all long-term and committed relationships are acknowledged and respected.

Another factor to consider is the dynamics of your college friend group. If your college friends are mostly coupled up, it might be a nice gesture to offer plus-ones to those who are single, so they don't feel left out. This can be especially important if your wedding has a lot of couple activities or if your single friends don't know many other guests. However, if your college friends are mostly single and will know other guests at the wedding, you may not need to offer plus-ones to everyone.

Budget and venue capacity are also crucial considerations. Weddings are expensive, and the cost increases with each additional guest. If you have a limited budget or your venue has restricted capacity, you may not be able to accommodate plus-ones for all your college friends. In this case, it is generally acceptable to only offer plus-ones to those in committed relationships or with live-in partners.

Communication is key. If you are unable to offer plus-ones to everyone, be transparent about your limitations and express your regret for not being able to accommodate everyone. It is also a good idea to ensure that single guests are seated with people they know or with outgoing and friendly couples to make them feel more comfortable and included.

Lastly, it is worth mentioning that while plus-ones are common in American weddings, they are not expected or required in all cultures. In some countries, like Japan, inviting only the person on the invitation is the norm, and it is not considered offensive to not invite a guest's partner.

In conclusion, when deciding whether to invite college friends' plus-ones, consider the nature of your friend group, your budget, venue capacity, and be transparent and accommodating to ensure your friends feel valued and respected.

How to limit college friends' plus-ones

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a stressful task, especially when it comes to plus-ones. Here are some tips to help you limit plus-ones for your college friends while still being mindful of their feelings:

Set Clear Criteria:

Decide on a set of criteria that will determine who gets a plus-one and be consistent in applying these rules. For example, you could offer plus-ones to married, engaged, or cohabiting couples, or those in long-term relationships. This way, your single college friends without a significant other would not get a plus-one, but those in serious relationships would.

Consider the Guest Dynamics:

Think about the social dynamics of the evening and your seating chart. If your college friends will know many other guests, they may not need a plus-one to feel comfortable. On the other hand, if they will be surrounded by couples or unfamiliar faces, a plus-one could help them enjoy the night more.

Be Mindful of Budget and Space Constraints:

Weddings are expensive, and each additional guest increases the cost. If you have a limited budget, explain to your college friends that you can't afford to accommodate plus-ones for everyone. Similarly, if your venue has space constraints, let your friends know that you had to limit the number of plus-ones to stay within the venue's capacity.

Offer Alternatives:

If possible, invite your college friends to other wedding events where plus-ones are not expected, such as the bridal shower or a post-wedding brunch. This way, they can still feel included in the celebrations without adding extra guests to the main event.

Communicate Sensitively:

Be prepared for your college friends to ask about bringing a plus-one. Respond kindly but firmly, explaining your reasons for limiting plus-ones. You could say something like, "We wish we could accommodate everyone's plus-ones, but due to budget and space constraints, we had to make some difficult choices. We hope you understand."

Remember, it's your wedding, and you get to decide who to invite. By setting clear criteria, considering guest dynamics, being mindful of budget and space, offering alternatives, and communicating sensitively, you can limit plus-ones for your college friends while still ensuring they feel valued and included in your special day.

Frequently asked questions