Choosing The Right Number Of Bridesmaids For Your Wedding

There is no normal number of bridesmaids for a wedding. The number of bridesmaids you choose is a personal choice and depends on several factors, including your budget, the size of your wedding, and the formality of the event. On average, North American brides have between three and six bridesmaids, but some have none, while others have a dozen or more. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how many bridesmaids you want standing by your side on your wedding day.

The average number of bridesmaids

The number of bridesmaids at a wedding can vary depending on several factors, including the size of the wedding, the venue, and the bride's personal preference. While there is no "normal" or "correct" number, the average number of bridesmaids typically falls between three and six.

According to The Knot's Real Weddings Study 2023, the typical number of bridesmaids is four. This number is considered a good balance, as it is large enough to distribute the bridesmaid duties without overwhelming the bride with coordination. However, some sources suggest that the average number of bridesmaids can be as high as five, especially in American weddings.

Ultimately, the decision on the number of bridesmaids is a personal choice. Some brides may opt for a smaller bridal party of one or two bridesmaids, while others may prefer a larger group of up to a dozen or more. The key consideration is to choose individuals who are closest to the bride and who will provide support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself.

When deciding on the number of bridesmaids, it is also important to consider the budget, venue size, and formality of the wedding. Each additional bridesmaid incurs costs for their dress, accessories, flowers, food, and gifts. The size and layout of the ceremony room can also impact the number of bridesmaids, as a small venue may not accommodate a large bridal party. For formal weddings, it is common to have between six and ten bridesmaids, while semi-formal to formal weddings usually have between two and six.

The cost of having bridesmaids

The number of bridesmaids you choose to have at your wedding is entirely up to you, but it's important to remember that being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of expenses. According to WeddingWire, the average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200 per wedding, but this can increase to over $1,800. This cost includes the bridesmaid dress, travel, hair, makeup, and more. If you're a bride, it's important to be mindful of the financial burden you're placing on your bridesmaids, especially if you're asking them to participate in multiple weddings. Here are some things to consider when thinking about the cost of having bridesmaids:

• Bridesmaid Dress: The average bridesmaid spends $208 on a dress, and alterations can add an additional $70. To save costs, many brides are now allowing their bridesmaids to choose their own dresses within a specified color scheme. This way, bridesmaids can select a style they're more likely to wear again.
• Accessories: Nearly 80% of bridesmaids purchase new shoes, and over 60% buy additional accessories like jewellery and hairpieces. On average, bridesmaids spend $120 on these extras.
• Hair and Makeup: If the bride requires professional hair and makeup, she should ideally cover the cost as a gift. If it's left as an option, about half of the bridesmaids will go for professional hair ($72) and 37% will choose to have their makeup done ($60).
• Travel and Accommodation: The cost of travel and accommodation for out-of-town weddings can quickly add up. A bridesmaid spends an average of $115 on travel and $205 on accommodations. Couples can help by booking hotel room blocks or negotiating group rates.
• Pre-Wedding Events: Planning, hosting, and attending pre-wedding events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party is a big part of being a bridesmaid. These events can cost a bridesmaid over $800, especially if it's a destination bachelorette party.
• Wedding Gift: Despite all the other expenses, bridesmaids are still expected to purchase a wedding gift. On average, they spend $125 on a gift from the couple's registry or chip in for a larger group gift.
• Regional Differences: The cost of being a bridesmaid varies by region. Bridesmaids on the West Coast pay the most ($1,360), while those in the Midwest pay the least ($1,100).

As a bride, you can help reduce the financial burden on your bridesmaids by being mindful of their expenses and offering alternatives or contributions where possible. Remember, it's not just about the monetary cost but also the time and effort they put into being a part of your special day.

The advantages and disadvantages of having bridesmaids

While there is no "normal" number of bridesmaids to have at a wedding, the typical number is four. However, the number of bridesmaids you choose to have at your wedding is entirely up to you.

Advantages of having bridesmaids:

• You get to honour your closest friends: Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a true honour, and asking your closest friends to stand by your side as you marry is a way to show how much they mean to you.
• You'll have a built-in support system: Having bridesmaids means you'll have a crew of your closest friends and family members by your side throughout the entire wedding process, from planning to the day itself.
• You'll have help with planning: Bridesmaids can help with planning and logistics, as well as taking care of smaller day-of duties and emergencies.
• You'll get to uphold a tradition: In many religions and cultures, bridesmaids symbolise support for the couple as they transition into married life.

Disadvantages of having bridesmaids:

• It can be expensive: The bride is typically expected to cover certain bridal party costs, such as bridesmaid gifts, hair and makeup, bouquets, and other related expenses.
• It can be stressful: Having bridesmaids means you'll need to consider their schedules and personalities during the planning process, and there may be drama or conflict between bridesmaids.
• It can be time-consuming: You'll need to put time and effort into choosing your bridesmaids, and you may feel obligated to reciprocate a bridesmaid offer from a friend.
• It can be challenging to coordinate: Having more bridesmaids means more opinions and schedules to coordinate, which can make planning more difficult.
• It may cause hurt feelings: Deciding who will be a bridesmaid can create tension, and someone may feel left out if they aren't chosen.

Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong answer.

How to choose your bridesmaids

Choosing your bridesmaids is an exciting part of wedding planning, but it can also be stressful. Here is a guide to help you select your bridesmaids while keeping the process enjoyable.

Consult Your Budget

Bridesmaids come with additional costs, so it is important to consult your wedding budget before asking anyone to be a bridesmaid. Costs can include their dress, shoes, jewellery, accessories, flowers, food throughout the day, a gift, and transportation to the venue. Many brides also pay for their bridesmaids' hair and makeup. If you want your bridesmaids to have a certain look, it is usually your responsibility to pay for it.

Examine Your Venue

The size and layout of your venue can help determine the number of bridesmaids you should have. Consider how many people will be able to fit at the altar. If you are taking wedding photos at the venue, think about how many bridesmaids you would like in these photos. Many brides prefer an even number of bridesmaids for symmetry, but this is not a requirement.

Consider Formality

The formality of your wedding can also influence the number of bridesmaids. Very formal weddings typically have between 6 and 10 bridesmaids, while semi-formal to formal weddings usually have between 2 and 6. For casual weddings, elopements, and registry office weddings, it is common to have just one or two bridesmaids, or none at all.

Think About Friendship Dynamics

Consider the dynamics of your social group and how your choices may affect your relationships. If you have a close group of friends or multiple sisters, you may want to include them all to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. Alternatively, you may decide to have fewer bridesmaids or only include certain friends or family members. Remember, there is no obligation to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, especially if you are getting married in the UK.

Ask Away!

Once you have decided on the number of bridesmaids, it is time to ask your chosen friends or family members. Consider giving them a "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" card as a thoughtful touch. Keep in mind that not everyone may say yes, so be prepared to ask others if your initial choices decline.

Remember, there is no right or wrong number of bridesmaids. The average number is between 3 and 5, but anywhere from 1 to 12 is considered normal. Ultimately, it is your decision, so choose the people who will make your wedding day special and support you throughout the planning process.

The history of bridesmaids

In biblical times, the story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel, who were both escorted to the wedding by their servants, is another possible origin of the tradition. In ancient China, bridesmaids also protected the bride from being kidnapped by rival clans or hooligans, again by dressing similarly to the bride.

In the Victorian era, white was the official colour for both groomsmen and bridesmaids, a trend that originated with Queen Victoria, who wore a long white wedding dress, and her bridesmaids matched. In modern times, bridesmaids are usually the bride's close friends or relatives, and the number of bridesmaids is usually between three and six, though ultimately it is up to the bride to decide.

Frequently asked questions