Deborah Chan
Laos wedding ceremonies are steeped in tradition and rituals that showcase the country's unique culture. The festivities surrounding a Laos wedding can last about a day and a half, with the main ceremony taking place in the morning or afternoon, depending on the convenience of the participants. The morning was traditionally believed to be the best time for joyful celebrations, while the afternoon was reserved for sombre occasions. The wedding ceremony is usually conducted by a Phone Khuane, an elder in the community well-versed in Buddhism and pre-Buddhist traditional Lao rituals. But how long does the main ceremony last, and what rituals are performed during this time?
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Typical length | About a day and a half |
| Time of day | Morning or afternoon |
| Location | Bride's family home |
| Number of parts | Two |
| Number of guests | Varies, but only close friends and relatives are invited to the Baci ceremony |
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What You'll Learn
The Baci ceremony
The ceremony is conducted by a Mor Phon, a well-respected and knowledgeable community elder. The Mor Phon holds a glass of Laos wine or whisky, a small amount of money wrapped in a banana leaf, a candle, and flowers in one hand, and ties a white string around the wrist of the main celebrant, whispering good wishes. The Mor Phon then lights the candle on top of the Pha Khuan, a handcrafted marigold pyramid made of banana leaves and flowers, and instructs the celebrants to place their hands, palms down, on the Pha Khuan. The Mor Phon wipes their hands with the white strings and recites a blessing.
During the ceremony, attendants chant and pray together, invoking the spirits with the words "Ma Der Khuan Euy", which translates to "please come, spirits". At this point, rice grains are thrown into the air, symbolising the spirits and good luck that have been asked for. After the chanting, the Mor Phon ties the first white blessing strings around the wrists of the main celebrants, followed by everyone else joining in to tie strings around the wrists of the main celebrants, family members, and guests, whispering good wishes to the receivers of the strings. Some people roll up a banknote and wrap it in a white string before tying it around the host's wrist, while others place an edible item on the Pha Khuan and then tie a string around it. The ceremony ends when everyone has tied the white strings around each other's wrists or when the string runs out.
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Groom's procession to the bride's house
A Laos wedding is a joyous occasion, filled with music, laughter, cheering, and smiling. The wedding ceremony usually takes place at the bride's family home, and the groom's procession to the bride's house is a significant part of the festivities.
The groom's procession to the bride's house, known as the hae keuy, is a fun and lively affair. The groom walks under an umbrella carried by his friend, and is accompanied by his family and friends. They walk from the groom's family home through the village to the bride's home, playing musical instruments, singing, and dancing along the way. There is even a special song composed for this procession, which is sung during every groom's parade. The atmosphere is cheerful and celebratory, with everyone joining in the festivities.
Upon arrival at the bride's house, the groom's entourage is met by the bride's relatives, who set up a silver and a gold door, known as the Golden and Silver Gates. These doors are made of lines of silver and gold bells stretched across the doorway, symbolizing the importance of the occasion and adding a touch of magic to the ceremony. The groom must not enter before he is granted permission by the bride's family.
Before granting permission, the bride's family quizzes the groom's family to test the groom's worth and ensure he is a suitable match for their daughter. The groom's family must answer wisely and respectfully, showcasing their good intentions and respect for the bride's family. It is a light-hearted yet meaningful exchange that adds a touch of playfulness to the ceremony.
Once the bride's family is satisfied with the groom's responses, the groom himself is ceremoniously purified by being washed by a relative and adorned with banana leaves. He then enters the bride's house, where he participates in various rituals, including the Baci or Sou Khuan ceremony, which is a spirit-enhancing tradition. The wedding ceremony continues with blessings and rituals, such as the tying of white strings on the wrists of the couple, symbolizing the union of two souls.
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Negotiating the bride price
In Laos, the wedding preparations begin with the Sou Khor—a bride-price negotiation procession. The bride-price is usually money and gold, but it can be anything valuable. The bride's parents ask for the bride-price as a refund for the breast milk the bride has consumed since birth, according to the literal translation from Lao. The amount of the bride-price depends on the social status of both families. Nowadays, many parents don't ask for a bride-price, as long as their daughter is happy.
On the wedding day set by the community elder, the groom and his party parade to the bride's house to begin the Sou Khor procession. The groom's group typically consists of older men and women, including his parents and relatives well-versed in Lao customs and traditions. The leader of the procession politely expresses their intention to offer valuable items, such as livestock and gold, in exchange for the bride's hand in marriage. While this exchange is taking place, the rest of the groom's party waits nearby. The groom leads the group, carrying flowers and a candle, with someone holding an umbrella over his head for shade. The remaining participants carry gifts for the bride's parents, including jewellery, clothing, and household items.
Before the groom can enter the bride's house, he must answer some questions and pay money. Then, the bride's younger sister or any girl younger than the bride washes the groom's feet as a purifying ritual. The wedding ceremony, known as the Baci or Sou Khuan, concludes with the couple being sent to their room by an elder female relative. The bride follows behind the groom as they are led to pay their respects to the bed and pillows. After this procession, close friends and family of both the bride and groom take turns taking photos with the newlyweds in their bedroom.
Traditionally, the couple was expected to remain in their room until the following morning. However, this custom has become impractical due to changes in the ceremony's order over time. Most couples now opt for a Baci or Sou Khuan ceremony in the morning and a reception in the evening. The Baci ceremony involves chanting by the Mor Phon (master of ceremony), egg feeding, and the tying of white strings on the wrists of the couple, symbolising blessings and well-wishes. The Mor Phon initiates the string-tying ritual, after which the parents, relatives, and guests take turns participating.
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The wedding reception
The reception features delicious Laos food, drinks, and live traditional Laos music and dancing. The newlyweds will open the dance floor with Lam Vong (Lao-style dancing), and the party will continue late into the night, with guests enjoying whiskey and Laos Beer.
The bride and groom's family members are responsible for preparing the food for the reception. This usually includes a luncheon reception after the morning ceremony and a dinner reception in the evening.
The dress code for the reception is formal. Women usually wear a long dress or a skirt and blouse, and men typically wear trousers and a shirt or a suit. It is important to dress respectfully and avoid casual attire.
It is customary for guests to bring cash gifts to the wedding, which are placed inside the invitation envelope and returned to the bride and groom. This is to help the couple cover the costs of the wedding.
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Traditional dress
For a Laos wedding, the bride typically wears a traditional Lao silk Sinh (a type of skirt), a silk blouse, and a paa bien (a scarf), all made from raw silk. Her hair is styled in a traditional bun, adorned with ornate gold jewellery. The groom usually wears a white or cream-coloured silk shirt and a traditional silk Salong (a pair of baggy pants). However, some grooms opt for normal trousers or suits as Salongs can be uncomfortable.
The style of the wedding outfit and hair can vary depending on the family's wealth and the region of Laos they are from. It is customary for the bride to begin her preparations earlier than the groom, as her costume is more intricate.
Laos wedding guests usually dress in traditional clothing. Women typically wear a silk Sinh (Lao skirt) and a silk blouse, while men wear a Lao silk shirt and normal trousers. It is recommended to dress formally and avoid wearing casual attire. Foreigners who do not have a Lao skirt and blouse can wear a long dress or a normal skirt and blouse, with a scarf to cover bare shoulders.
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Frequently asked questions
A Laos wedding ceremony lasts about a day and a half. The first part is the Baci or Sou Khuan ceremony, which takes place in the morning or afternoon. This is followed by the reception in the evening.
The Baci ceremony involves chanting by the Mor Phon (master of ceremony), egg feeding, and the tying of white strings on the wrists of the couple.
The string-tying is a way to share personal messages and blessings with the newlyweds.
The reception features traditional Laos music, dancing, speeches, and Laos food. The couple opens the dance floor with Lam Vong (Lao-style dancing).
Lao ladies typically wear a traditional Lao silk Sinh (skirt) and a silk blouse. Foreigners can wear a long dress or a normal skirt and blouse. Lao men wear trousers and a Lao silk shirt, or a plain simple shirt.
