Junior Rasmussen
Jewish wedding traditions are rich in spiritual truths and vary according to the specific Jewish community. In ancient times, Jewish weddings included seven full days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations, but today, the ceremony is usually followed by a wedding supper and reception with food, wine, music, and dance. However, Orthodox Jews continue to celebrate for seven nights with festive meals in honor of the newly married couple. The wedding ceremony is considered a serious religious event, while the wedding feast is a fun, lively celebration. The Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: the betrothal or erusin/kiddushin (sanctification or dedication), and nissuin (marriage). The first stage is when the couple is legally bound, and the second stage is when they start their life together. The entire process is steeped in ritual and symbolism, with customs like the breaking of a glass, the exchanging of rings, and the signing of a ketubah (marriage contract).
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of ceremonies | 2 |
| Time between ceremonies | Interval between |
| First ceremony | Betrothal (erusin) or kiddushin (Hebrew for "betrothal") |
| Second ceremony | Wedding (nissuin) |
| Bride's location after betrothal | Remains in her father's house |
| Bride's location after wedding | House of her groom |
| Wedding day | Bride and groom's personal Yom Kippur |
| Honeymoon | Planned after seven days of celebration |
| Duration of celebration | 7 days |
| Food | Yes |
| Wine | Yes |
| Music | Yes |
| Dancing | Yes |
| Singing | Yes |
| Seclusion | Required to complete the wedding ceremony |
| Glass breaking | Yes |
| Dowry | Yes |
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What You'll Learn
- Jewish weddings are comprised of two distinct stages: betrothal and nissuin (marriage)
- The wedding day is considered the bride and groom's personal Yom Kippur, so they may choose to fast
- The wedding ceremony is a serious religious event, while the wedding feast is a fun celebration
- Ancient Jewish weddings included seven full days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations
- The marriage contract, or ketubah, is signed by two witnesses
Jewish weddings are comprised of two distinct stages: betrothal and nissuin (marriage)
Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, with the wedding process consisting of two distinct stages: betrothal and nissuin (marriage). These two stages were once marked by celebrations at two separate times, with an interval in between, but they are now commonly combined into one ceremony.
The first stage, betrothal, is called 'kiddushin' in Hebrew and signifies sanctification or dedication. It is also referred to as 'erusin'. During this stage, the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value, with the intention of creating a marriage. The ring must be made of solid metal, preferably gold or silver, with no gem settings, so that its value can be easily determined. This is the central moment of the wedding, and the couple is now considered married. The relationship created during the betrothal can only be dissolved by death or a religious divorce, called a 'get'.
The second stage, nissuin, is when the couple officially starts their life together. The ceremony that accomplishes nissuin is known as 'chuppah' and involves the couple standing under a wedding canopy, symbolising the new home being built by the couple. The chuppah is also the term used to describe the canopy itself. In some traditions, the bride walks around the groom three or seven times when she arrives at the chuppah. This may be derived from the Biblical concept that seven denotes perfection or completeness.
Following the chuppah, there is a lively wedding feast with dancing, singing, eating, and drinking. The newlyweds are expected to spend time together during the week after the wedding, surrounded by family and friends. This tradition is similar to the seven days of mourning, or shiva, that follows extreme moments of love or death.
In ancient times, the betrothal was the more important of the two stages, as marriage was based on the purchase of the bride from her father. However, over time, as women gained importance as individuals, the actual wedding became more significant.
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The wedding day is considered the bride and groom's personal Yom Kippur, so they may choose to fast
The wedding day is a significant event in Jewish culture, steeped in traditions and rituals. One notable aspect is the consideration of the wedding day as the bride and groom's personal Yom Kippur, a day of atonement and forgiveness. As such, it is customary for the couple to fast on their wedding day, although this is not mandatory and there are exceptions.
The Talmud teaches that the bride and groom are forgiven for their past sins as they enter the greatest commitment of their lives, selflessly putting their spouse's needs before their own. By abstaining from food and drink, the focus shifts from physical desires to the needs of the soul, aligning with the spiritual union that is at the heart of the wedding ceremony. This custom of fasting is also mentioned in the Book of Psalms, which it is recommended for the couple to recite on their wedding day.
The decision to fast on the wedding day is a personal choice, and there are certain festive days on the Jewish calendar when fasting is not observed, including Rosh Chodesh, Chanukah, Tu B'Shevat, and the 15th of Av. Additionally, if the wedding falls on a day when the Torah is read in the synagogue, the groom receives an aliyah and takes precedence over others, even those observing a yahrtzeit.
The wedding ceremony itself is a serious religious event, marked by traditions such as the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), the exchange of rings, and the breaking of a glass. The breaking of the glass holds different meanings, with some believing it reflects the destruction of the two Jewish temples, while others view it as a reminder to temper joy with solemnity. After the ceremony, the couple may spend time in seclusion, known as Yichud, before joining the celebrations, which include dancing, singing, and feasting.
In ancient times, Jewish marriage consisted of two stages: betrothal (erusin or kiddushin) and the wedding (nissuin). The betrothal was once the more important event, as it marked the legal transfer of the bride from her father's house to her groom's, signifying the consummation of the marriage. Over time, as women gained recognition as individuals, the actual wedding ceremony became more significant, reflecting the moral significance of marriage as a union of two souls.
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The wedding ceremony is a serious religious event, while the wedding feast is a fun celebration
A Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While wedding customs have evolved over time, the ceremony remains a serious religious event, while the wedding feast is a fun celebration.
In ancient times, Jewish weddings were based on the purchase of the bride from her father by the groom's father. The bride was consulted, but the "calling of the damsel and inquiring at her mouth" was a mere formality. The father received a dowry for his daughter, and the price paid by the father of the groom was called a mohar. The focus was on the marriage of sons, as there was no expense involved in marrying off a daughter.
Over time, the attitude towards women evolved, and women came to be regarded as individuals with personalities. Marriage ceased to be a purchase and became a moral institution. Polygamy was banned, and ordinary Jews lived in monogamous marriages. The actual wedding ceremony became more important than the betrothal.
Today, a Jewish wedding has two distinct stages. The first is the betrothal or 'kiddushin' (Hebrew for "sanctification" or "dedication"), and the second is 'nissuin' (marriage), when the couple starts their life together. At the betrothal, the woman is prohibited to all other men, requiring a religious divorce or 'get' to dissolve it. The second stage permits the couple to be together.
The wedding ceremony is considered a solemn religious event, while the wedding feast is a lively celebration. The feast includes dancing, singing, eating, and drinking. It is customary for guests to dance in front of the seated couple and entertain them. The celebration is broken up into two parts: the first part involves men and women being separated, and the second part, which occurs after the older guests leave, involves mixing and is more lively.
The wedding day is considered the bride and groom's personal Yom Kippur, and they may choose to fast leading up to the wedding. After the ceremony, the couple may have a secluded opportunity to break their fast and have their first meal together, known as 'yichud'. This is also a chance for them to spend quality time together before the busyness of the wedding celebrations.
In ancient times, the wedding feast might have included seven full days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations. Today, the Jewish ceremony is usually followed by a wedding supper and reception. However, Orthodox Jews still celebrate for seven nights, hosting festive meals in honor of the newlywed couple.
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Ancient Jewish weddings included seven full days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations
In ancient times, Jewish weddings were a grand affair, with the festivities lasting seven full days. The wedding feast (seudah) after the nissuin (marriage) included seven days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations. This custom is said to have originated with Jacob, who celebrated seven days with Leah and then with Rachel, and was later formalised by Moses.
The seven-day celebration allowed the couple to rejoice together and with their community, marking the start of their new life. The newlyweds were expected to stay together during this period, surrounded by family and friends, in a familiar setting. This tradition emphasised the importance of community and family in Jewish culture, with the couple's environment remaining the same as when they were singles.
The wedding ceremony itself was a serious religious event, marked by rituals such as the chuppah (wedding canopy) and the exchange of rings. The celebration that followed was a time for fun and lively festivities, including the Yichud, where the couple would eat and relax together before joining the dancing and celebrations.
The seven days of celebration also had a deeper spiritual meaning, pointing to the coming of the Messiah and the great celebration of the marriage supper of the Lamb. The joy and community of the wedding feast were considered a blessing and a time to reflect on God's covenant love for His people.
Today, while the seven-day feast is not as commonly practised, Orthodox Jews still celebrate for seven nights, hosting festive meals in honour of the newlywed couple.
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The marriage contract, or ketubah, is signed by two witnesses
The ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, is a crucial component of Jewish weddings, signed by two witnesses and outlining the terms of the marriage. The ketubah signing is a separate ceremony that typically takes place before the wedding and is often a more intimate event. The witnesses play a vital role in ensuring the validity of the ketubah. According to Jewish law, these witnesses should be virtuous, observant, bar-mitzvahed men who are not related by blood or marriage to the couple. They are responsible for witnessing the symbolic exchange of an article, such as a handkerchief, between the groom and the bride's representative, usually the rabbi. This exchange symbolises the act of acquisition and must be clearly seen by the witnesses before they sign the contract.
The ketubah itself has a rich history, with references to marriage in the Bible mentioning the payment of mohar and gifts but not a written contract. However, the Book of Deuteronomy alludes to a written document in the case of divorce, implying that a similar document may have been used for contracting a marriage. The ketubah outlines the husband's financial obligations to his wife, including a settlement payment in the event of a divorce and the amount the wife brings to the marriage through her dowry. It also traditionally includes the date, place, and names of the bride and groom.
In modern times, couples have more flexibility in what they include in their ketubah. They may choose to write their own text, focusing on egalitarian and relationship-centric values, or purchase one that aligns with their beliefs. Some couples even incorporate poetry, song, or their vows into the contract. The ketubah is typically signed by the witnesses and, in some customs, the groom. In rare cases, the bride may also sign the document. The ketubah is then placed beneath the chuppah, or wedding canopy, during the wedding ceremony.
The ketubah signing is a significant ritual that validates the couple's marriage, similar to the exchange of vows in other wedding traditions. It reflects the couple's commitment to each other and their intention to start their married life together. After the signing, the couple usually continues with the wedding ceremony and the festivities that follow, including the wedding feast, dancing, singing, and celebrations.
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Frequently asked questions
A Jewish wedding ceremony is followed by a wedding supper and reception with food, wine, music and dance. However, the celebrations can continue for seven days, with friends and family hosting festive meals in honour of the newly married couple.
The couple must stay together during this time and are not supposed to work or separate unless there is an urgent need. The seven blessings, or Sheva Berakhot, are recited on Friday night, Saturday afternoon and at the third Sabbath meal.
The first stage is the Kiddushin, or betrothal, when the couple becomes legally married. The second stage is the Nissuin, when the couple starts their life together.
