Deborah Chan
Picking out a wedding ring is an important part of the marriage process, and there are many factors to consider. Traditionally, the groom would select and purchase the rings, but nowadays, many couples prefer to choose wedding rings together. Couples should consider whether they want matching or non-matching rings, and whether they want their wedding ring to match the engagement ring. They should also think about their lifestyle and choose a ring that is practical and able to withstand everyday wear. Wedding rings come in different materials, sizes, shapes, and styles, so couples should decide whether they want a simple or embellished ring, and whether they want it to be classic or exotic.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Matching set or non-matching rings | Depends on the couple's preference |
| Ring design | Choose a design that suits your lifestyle and budget |
| Ring style | Plain, patterned, embellished, classic, exotic, modern, contemporary, etc. |
| Ring material | Gold, platinum, silver, rose gold, yellow gold, etc. |
| Stone | Diamond, coloured gemstone, or no stone |
| Customisation | Engraving, inlaid gems |
| Comfort | Flat court ring, rounded edges |
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What You'll Learn
Matching or non-matching rings
Matching wedding rings have a long history, dating back to the 1300s when dual-ring ceremonies were introduced by the Greek Orthodox Church. During the Renaissance period, wedding bands were crafted as corresponding puzzle pieces, symbolising the union of the couple. Even today, some couples opt for matching rings to symbolise their commitment to one another.
However, with evolving wedding etiquette and traditions, many couples now choose non-matching rings. This can be especially true for couples with differing style preferences or those who want to incorporate unique materials, colours, or designs that may not align with their partner's choices. Alternative materials such as titanium, tungsten, ceramic, and wood offer a range of options for those seeking non-traditional wedding bands. Additionally, some individuals may prefer a wedding band that differs from their engagement ring, whether in style, stone choice, or overall design.
When deciding between matching or non-matching rings, it is essential to consider your lifestyle and practical concerns. Wedding rings are meant to be worn daily, so durability and comfort are key factors. Active individuals or those who work with their hands may opt for sturdy materials like gold or platinum, while those who prioritise simplicity and ease of maintenance might prefer plain wedding bands. Ultimately, the choice of matching or non-matching rings should reflect the style and preferences of both partners.
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Lifestyle and budget
Lifestyle
The wedding ring you choose should suit your lifestyle. It is a piece of jewellery that you will wear every day for the rest of your life, so it is important to ensure that it is practical and durable. If you have an active, outdoorsy lifestyle, or if you are exposed to lots of chemicals, your ring should be tough enough to withstand that sort of exposure. For example, platinum is extremely durable, scratch-resistant, and will not fade or tarnish. On the other hand, if you are frequently exposed to chemicals, you may want to avoid white gold, as the rhodium plating will wear off over time, requiring re-polishing.
Budget
There is no single appropriate budget for a wedding band, and no set rule on how much you should spend. The right ring is the one that fits both your taste and your budget. The average couple spends around 5% of their total wedding expenses on wedding rings, but this can vary depending on factors such as style, thickness, precious metals, and stones used. Wedding rings can cost anywhere between $200 and $2,000, with most couples spending between $1,200 and $3,000 on each wedding band.
To set a budget, consider your financial comfort, income, and long-term financial goals. If you are planning a wedding, buying a house, or paying off student loans, these priorities should guide your decision. You can also play around with the ring metal and styles to make your budget stretch. For example, choosing a half eternity band or white gold instead of platinum will cost less without compromising on appearance.
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Stone and setting
The stone and setting of a wedding ring are crucial aspects that require careful consideration. The setting refers to the way the gemstone is mounted or held in place, significantly influencing the overall look of the ring. Here are some popular setting options to consider:
Prong Setting
The prong setting is a classic and popular choice for diamond rings. It uses four to six metal claws to hold the diamond securely. This setting allows the diamond to take centre stage as there is minimal metal obscuring the stone. A higher number of prongs provide more security for the diamond, but too many prongs can overwhelm a small diamond. Prong settings can also be combined with other settings, such as a basket setting, which adds extra security features to the prongs.
Cathedral Setting
The cathedral setting is a sophisticated and unique option, drawing inspiration from Gothic architecture. It features sweeping arcs that extend from the shank (band) to the outer mount of the centre stone, creating a sculpted look. This setting allows the ring to sit higher off the finger, accentuating the centre stone. It also provides the opportunity to incorporate hidden details in the crown of the ring.
Halo Setting
The halo setting features a larger centre stone surrounded by a row of smaller stones, making the centre stone appear larger. The halo of smaller diamonds can also help to camouflage any flaws in the centre stone. This setting is often combined with a pave setting for the outer rim of stones. However, the curving design of the halo may limit the wedding bands that can be paired with the engagement ring.
Flush Mount Setting
The flush mount setting is a modern and subtle option where the stone is pressed and hammered down so that it sits level with the ring. This setting provides full protection to the stone's girdle and eliminates the risk of snagging on clothing or hair. However, this setting may be more expensive due to the labour-intensive creation process.
When choosing the stone for your wedding ring, it is essential to understand the difference between the "shape" and the "cut." The shape refers to the geometric form of the diamond, such as round, oval, pear, or heart. In contrast, the cut describes the fashioning of the diamond from the rough carbon, impacting its proportions, symmetry, sparkle, and cost.
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Metal and gems
When it comes to choosing a wedding ring, the metal you select will influence the overall look and feel of the ring, as well as its durability and cost. It's important to consider your lifestyle when making your decision. For instance, if you have an active daily routine, you may want to opt for a scratch-resistant metal like tungsten. On the other hand, if durability is a priority, platinum is a popular choice known for its strength and longevity. Platinum is also unique, approximately 30 times rarer than gold, and will retain its brilliance without requiring re-plating. Another metal with excellent durability is rose gold, which also provides a feminine touch to your ring.
If you're looking for a classic choice, yellow gold is a timeless option that has been used for centuries. Its warm, rich glow has made it a popular wedding band metal for decades. However, keep in mind that pure gold is the most pliable and least durable due to its softness, so it's often alloyed with other metals. The most popular gold fineness in the US is 14 karat gold, which is 14 parts gold and 10 parts other metals. A higher amount of gold will result in a richer colour, more weight, and increased softness.
White gold is a modern alternative to platinum, offering a vibrant hue. If you opt for white gold, consider rhodium plating it annually to maintain its colour. Silver is another modern choice, with a sleek aesthetic that complements a wide variety of skin tones. However, as silver is soft and malleable, it is usually mixed with other metals to increase its durability, resulting in sterling silver.
When it comes to gems, diamonds are a popular choice, but there is a debate between mined diamonds and lab-grown diamonds. Mined diamonds developed naturally beneath the Earth's crust, while lab-grown diamonds are more budget-friendly and environmentally friendly. Beyond diamonds, coloured gemstones are also trendy, offering unique and bold options. When selecting a gemstone, consider the colour of the metal, as certain combinations can enhance the colour of the gemstone. For example, gold and rose gold settings can enhance the colour of diamonds with lower colour grades or coloured stones.
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Proposal and surprise
Planning a proposal is an exciting and personal process. There are many ways to approach it, and the best method depends on the personalities and preferences of you and your partner. Here are some ideas to help you pick out a wedding ring and plan a memorable proposal:
Know Your Partner's Preferences
Understanding your partner's style and tastes is essential. If they are traditional, a classic diamond ring might be the perfect choice. If they are more unconventional, you could opt for a unique design or a non-diamond gemstone. Consider their fashion sense and whether they have strong opinions on what they wear. Ask yourself if they are more practical or romantic in their choices. If you're unsure, try to subtly find out their preferences, or ask their friends or family for input.
Involving Your Partner in the Process
Some couples prefer full collaboration when making important decisions. If you think your partner would like to be involved in choosing the ring, there are still ways to make it a surprise. You can ask them to create a secret Pinterest board with images of rings they love and others they dislike. This way, you can understand their style and preferences without giving away the entire surprise. Alternatively, you can involve them in choosing the stone or metal colour, or ask them to collect images of rings they admire.
The Surprise Proposal
If you want to go for a full surprise proposal, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, find out their ring size discreetly. You can borrow one of their existing rings and get it sized at a jewellery store. Alternatively, if they don't wear rings, try to estimate their size based on their hand size or use a standard size as a starting point. You can always resize the ring later if needed. Think about the type of proposal they would appreciate. Would they like an intimate moment in a beautiful location, or a grand gesture like a flash mob? Make it personal and memorable.
Proposal Rings
If you're unsure about the ring style or size, consider using a proposal ring. This is a stand-in ring that you propose with, and then you both choose the real ring together afterward. Proposal rings can be simple and inexpensive, or you can opt for a temporary engagement ring with a CZ stone that looks like the real deal. This option ensures your partner gets the ring they truly want, and you can still create a memorable proposal moment.
Adding Personal and Family Touches
Including family heirlooms or incorporating family history into the ring can make the proposal even more special. Consider resetting a family diamond into a new setting or using a piece of jewellery passed down through generations. This adds sentiment and a unique touch to the proposal, creating a lasting connection to your family's history.
Remember, the most important thing is that your partner loves the ring and says yes! Don't feel pressured to follow any specific guidelines or spend beyond your means. Put thought and effort into the process, and your proposal is sure to be memorable and romantic.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding rings come in different materials, sizes, shapes, and styles. Some things to consider are whether you want a simple round band or a unique shape, a plain ring or a piece with delicate patterns, and what type of material you want. It's important to choose a ring that fits your lifestyle and budget.
If you have an attention-grabbing engagement ring, you may want to opt for a plainer wedding band that will help showcase it. If you have a plainer engagement ring, you may want to choose a wedding band with embellishments to add some sparkle to your hand. You may also want to consider whether you want your wedding ring to match your engagement ring.
Traditionally, it was the responsibility of the groom to select and purchase the rings. However, nowadays, many couples prefer to choose their wedding rings together, seeing it as an opportunity to strengthen their bond. If you received an engagement ring from your partner, you may want to return the favour and surprise them with a wedding ring that you've picked out yourself.
