Phrasing The Tish: Jewish Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Jewish wedding invitations are a special way for couples to incorporate their values and important symbols. The wording of the invitation is crucial, as it sets the tone for the wedding and conveys the couple's Jewish identity and traditions. The invitation should include essential details such as the names of the couple, a request to attend the ceremony, the date, time, and location, as well as reception information. It is also common to include the Hebrew date and translation, emphasising joy and celebration, and using and instead of to between the couple's names.

Hebrew date and translation

When it comes to Jewish wedding invitations, there are many traditions and styles to consider. While there is no wrong way to phrase a Jewish wedding invitation, there are some traditional elements to be mindful of. One such element is the inclusion of the Hebrew date and the consideration of incorporating a Hebrew translation.

It is customary to include the Hebrew date of the wedding ceremony on the invitation. This involves finding the corresponding date in the Hebrew calendar to the secular date of the wedding. For example, the invitation might state:

> On the first day of (Hebrew month), (list secular date in parentheses), (bride/groom) and (bride/groom) invite you to witness their marriage under the chuppah.

In some communities, such as Orthodox Jewish communities or couples with many Israeli relatives, it is common for the left side of the invitation to be entirely in Hebrew. In these cases, the Hebrew names of the couple are typically used. Here is another example of how the Hebrew date can be included:

> (Name of bride/groom) and (Name of bride/groom) joyously invite you to celebrate their wedding on the (day of the month) of (Hebrew month) corresponding to the (day of the month) of (secular month).

If you are inviting non-Jewish guests, be sure to distinguish the Hebrew dates from the secular dates to avoid any confusion.

In addition to the Hebrew date, you may also choose to include a literal translation of the marriage blessing in Hebrew for your guests to reflect on. This can add a deeper level of meaning and spiritual significance to your invitation.

When including Hebrew dates and translations, it is important to have someone who is fluent in Hebrew review the text for accuracy before finalising the invitation design.

Other Considerations for Jewish Wedding Invitations

• Emphasise joy and celebration in your wording, such as "share in our joy" instead of "request the honour of your presence".
• Use "and" instead of "to" when connecting the names of the couple to signify their choice to marry out of love.
• Include both sets of parents' names on the invitation to emphasise familial unity.
• Consider including the time of specific rituals, such as the Chuppah, so guests don't miss these important moments.
• Incorporate religious phrasing or quotes, such as Bible verses or Hebrew divine names, to honour the couple's faith and heritage.
• Use Hebrew calligraphy, symbols, or design elements to add a Jewish touch to the invitation.

Joy and celebration

A Jewish wedding invitation is a wonderful opportunity to emphasise joy and celebration. While there is no wrong way to phrase a Jewish wedding invitation, there are some traditional elements that are good to know.

Emphasising Joy and Celebration

Jewish wedding invitations traditionally emphasise joy and celebration rather than solemnity or formality. For this reason, it is more customary to use phrasing such as "share in our joy" instead of "request the honour of your presence".

Using 'and' Instead of 'to'

Jewish wedding invitations typically use the word "and" between the names of the couple, instead of "to". For example: "Together with their parents, [name of bride/groom] and [name of bride/groom] joyously invite you to celebrate their wedding day...".

Including Both Sets of Parents

The names of both sets of parents are usually mentioned on the invitation, emphasising the familial unity of the new couple and celebrating the role of the family in the celebration. For example: " [Parents of groom] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter [bride's name] and [groom's name], son of [parents of groom]."

Including the Hebrew Date and Translation

It is traditional to include the Hebrew date of the wedding ceremony on the invitation, which means finding the corresponding date in the Hebrew calendar to the secular date of the wedding. Some invitations may also include a Hebrew translation, especially in Orthodox Jewish communities, for Sephardic or Mizrachi couples, or couples with many Israeli relatives.

Including Specific Rituals and Times

Most Jewish weddings have a cocktail hour before the ceremony, often referred to as the smorgasbord, and the ceremony itself, known as the chuppah. Some Jewish weddings also include a ceremony before the chuppah called the Bedeken, where the couple sees each other for the first time that day. To ensure guests don't miss these important moments, some invitations specify the time of the wedding event, the chuppah, and other ceremonies.

Religious Phrasing and Quotes

Depending on the level of religious observance, couples may include religious phrasing or quotes on their invitations. Some invitations may open with traditional language expressing gratitude to God, use Hebrew terms, or include religious symbols.

• "With joy in our hearts, we invite you to share in our Simcha."
• "With gratitude to Hashem, [name of parents] invite you to the wedding of [name of couple]."
• "It is with profound joy and gratitude to God that we invite you to witness the marriage of [name of couple]."
• " [Names of both sets of parents] invite you to celebrate in the Simcha of our children's wedding."

Names of both sets of parents

When it comes to Jewish wedding invitations, there are many ways to phrase the inclusion of both sets of parents. Here are some examples:

Emphasising the Parents' Role

One way to phrase the invitation is to emphasise the role of the parents in the celebration and to mention their names:

> "(Names of both sets of parents) invite you to celebrate in the Simcha of our children's wedding."

> "Together with their parents, (name of bride/groom) and (name of bride/groom) joyously invite you to celebrate their wedding day on the first of (Hebrew month), corresponding to (secular date)."

> "Together with their parents, (groom's name) and (bride's name) request your presence in the celebration of their marriage."

> "With pride and joy, we request you to join us in witnessing the commitment of our children (bride and groom's names) under the chuppah."

Emphasising the Couple

Another approach is to emphasise the couple while still mentioning the names of both sets of parents:

> ""(Parents of groom) Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter (bride's name) and (groom's name), son of (parents of the bride)."

> "Mrs. Bride's Mother and Mrs. Groom's Parents request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom."

> "With joy in our hearts, we, (names of parents), invite you to share in our Simcha and witness the marriage of (name of couple)."

General Guidelines

It's important to note that there is no single correct way to word a Jewish wedding invitation. The key is to reflect the desires and values of the couple while including all the relevant information. The invitation should be issued in the name of the host, usually the parents of the couple, and it is common to emphasise joy and celebration in the wording.

Time of the Chuppah

The chuppah is a Jewish wedding canopy, a symbol of the home the couple will build together. It is also a symbol of God's presence at the wedding and in the home being established. The chuppah ceremony is the second stage of a Jewish wedding, following the betrothal.

The chuppah is constructed from a cloth or sheet, sometimes a tallit, stretched or supported over four poles, or manually held up by attendants. The only rule about its construction is that it be a temporary structure made by human hands.

The chuppah ceremony is connected to the seven blessings which are recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony.

In a Jewish wedding invitation, it is common to specify the time of the chuppah ceremony, so guests do not miss this crucial moment. This is often listed on the line after the time of the wedding event.

• "Chuppah at 5 pm followed by dinner and dancing."
• "At four o'clock...Chuppah Ceremony at five o'clock."
• "Cocktail hour including Bedeken from 4 pm - 5 pm...5 pm Chuppah (the actual wedding ceremony)."
• "Join us for a beautiful ceremony under the chuppah...as we celebrate our love by getting married."

Religious phrasing and quotes

Jewish wedding invitations often incorporate Hebrew text and religious quotes. The invitation is a chance to share Jewish values with guests and add meaning to the wedding day.

There are many options for religious phrasing and quotes that can be included on a Jewish wedding invitation. Here are some examples:

Opening the Invitation

• The three Hebrew letters of beit, samech, and dalet in the upper-right-hand corner, to signify divine approval of the invitation.
• "With gratitude to Hashem, [name of parents] invite you to the wedding of [name of the couple]."
• "It is with profound joy and gratitude to God that we invite you to witness the marriage of [name of the couple]."
• "[Names of both sets of parents] invite you to celebrate in the Simcha of our children's wedding."

Bible Verses

• "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." (Song of Songs 6:3)
• "I have found the one in whom my soul delights." (Song of Songs 3:4)
• "And again it shall be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride." (Jeremiah 33:10-11)
• "It is not good for the man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18)
• "A husband and wife are one soul, separated only through their descent to this world. When they are married, they are reunited again." (The Zohar, I91a)

Other Religious Quotes

• "Kol Sasson V'Kol Simcha, Kol Chatan V'Kol Kala" (translated as "The voice of the groom and the voice of the bride")
• "He who is mightier than all; He who is blessed above all; He who is greater than all; He who is distinguished beyond all; He should bless the groom and the bride." (Mi Adir)
• "He Who understands the speech of the rose of thorns, the affection of lovers, the joy of the beloved, may He bless the bridegroom and the bride." (Mi Adir)
• "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)
• "Enjoy life with the woman you love." (King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 9:9)

Frequently asked questions