Responding To Formal Wedding Invites: The Etiquette Guide

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it's important to be both formal and cordial. Your response should express gratitude for the invitation and clearly state whether or not you will be attending. It is also courteous to respond promptly, as this gives the couple time to invite someone else if you are unable to make it. If the invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. A formal response typically follows the wording of the invitation, using titles such as 'Mr' and 'Mrs' and the third person. For example, Mr and Mrs Smith accept with pleasure your kind invitation for Saturday, 7th July.

Respond promptly

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly. This is because your response will impact the couple's planning, especially if they are planning to host a seated wedding breakfast or dinner. A prompt reply will also allow them to invite someone else if you are unable to make it.

Check your schedule and, if your invitation includes others, consult with them before responding. If you are unable to attend, it is considerate to let the couple know as soon as possible. This gives them the opportunity to invite another guest if they wish.

When responding, it is customary to express gratitude for the invitation and to clearly state whether or not you will be attending. Your response should be formal and cordial. If the invitation includes an RSVP card, you can use this to reply. Otherwise, you can respond in writing or by email.

"Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June."

"Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom’s wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany"

"I am so pleased to accept your kind invitation to the wedding on 1st April this year. I wish you every happiness and look forward to witnessing this special day."

Include your guest

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it is important to consider whether you have been extended a plus-one invitation. If the invitation includes a plus-one option, it is proper etiquette to clarify the details of your guest with the host. This ensures that the hosts are aware of the additional number and can plan their seating and catering accordingly. It is respectful and helpful to provide them with information about your guest, particularly if they are not already known to the hosts.

Start by confirming the name and relationship of your guest with the hosts. Provide full names and clarify how your guest is related to you, especially if it is a romantic partner or a close friend. This information helps the hosts with their planning and ensures that your guest is comfortably accommodated. For example, if your guest has a unique dietary requirement, the hosts will be grateful for advance notice so they can cater to their needs. It is also beneficial to provide a brief description of your guest's connection to the couple. This helps the hosts to understand their guest list dynamics and seating arrangements.

If your guest has any accessibility requirements, be sure to include this information in your response. This allows the hosts to make the necessary arrangements to ensure everyone's comfort and enjoyment. It could be something as simple as requiring a chair with arms or having specific dietary needs. Being upfront about these details will ensure a smooth experience for all involved. Additionally, if your guest has any relevant allergies, it is considerate to inform the hosts. This could range from common food allergies to pollen or specific material allergies, which the hosts may be able to accommodate with advanced notice.

Including details about your guest's attire can also be helpful, especially if a dress code will be enforced. This ensures your guest feels prepared and comfortable adhering to the event's dress code. It also helps to maintain the formality of the wedding and shows respect for the couple's wishes. Last but not least, provide an RSVP for your guest. This is a standard practice and helps the hosts finalize numbers for catering and seating arrangements. It is also an opportunity to confirm the details you have provided, ensuring that the hosts have all the information they need to accommodate your guest's attendance.

RSVP format

When responding to a formal wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly and appropriately. A formal reply typically follows traditional etiquette, expressing gratitude for the invitation and clearly stating whether or not you will be attending. Here is an RSVP format guide to help you craft your response:

Check the Invitation Details:

Start by carefully reading the invitation. Note the date, time, and location of the wedding, as well as any other important details or instructions included by the couple. Pay close attention to the RSVP deadline and try to respond as soon as possible.

Decide on Your Response:

Before crafting your reply, decide whether you will be attending the wedding. If you are unable to attend, inform the couple promptly so they can extend the invitation to another guest if they wish. If the invitation includes a "plus one," determine if you would like to bring a guest and include this information in your response.

Choose the Appropriate Format:

The format of your response depends on the format of the invitation. If you received a formal written invitation, a handwritten response on personal stationery is appropriate. If the invitation was sent by email or through a wedding website, respond in the same manner.

Write Your Response:

When writing your response, maintain a formal and cordial tone. Here is a suggested format for your reply:

For accepting the invitation:

"Mr. and Mrs. [Your Last Name] accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Couple's Last Name] to the wedding of [Couple's Names] on [date of the wedding]. We are delighted to share in their special day."

For declining the invitation:

"Mr. and Mrs. [Your Last Name] regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. [Couple's Last Name] to the wedding of [Couple's Names] on [date of the wedding]. We wish them a lifetime of happiness."

Personalize Your Message:

Depending on your relationship with the couple, you may want to add a more personal message to your response. You can express your excitement and best wishes for the couple, mention how honoured you are to be invited, or include a thoughtful quote or message.

Provide Additional Information:

If necessary, include any additional information that the couple may need to know. For example, if you have any dietary restrictions or accessibility requirements, kindly inform them so they can accommodate your needs.

Proofread and Send:

Before sending your response, carefully proofread your message for spelling and grammar. Ensure that you are following the correct format and tone. Send your RSVP by the requested deadline, and if possible, respond sooner to facilitate the couple's planning process.

Remember, a formal response to a wedding invitation should be respectful, prompt, and clear. By following this format, you can gracefully accept or decline the invitation while conveying your well wishes for the happy couple.

Wording ideas

A formal reply to a wedding invitation should follow traditional etiquette, expressing gratitude for the invitation and clearly stating whether you will be attending. Here are some wording ideas for responding to a formal wedding invitation:

• "Dear [Couple's Names], Congratulations on this exciting milestone! We always knew you two were meant to be. I can't wait to see you make it official. We will absolutely be there. Love, your biggest supporters, [Your Names]."
• "I am super excited to attend your wedding and celebrate the day. Thank you for inviting our whole family! We're looking forward to it!"
• "Mr and Mrs [Your Names] accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr and Mrs [Couple's Names] to the wedding reception of their daughter [Bride's Name] and Mr [Groom's Name] on Date and Time. We are looking forward to the celebration."
• "Thank you for inviting us to your wedding. The invitation was beautiful, and I'm looking forward to seeing all our college friends there."
• "We are excited to attend your wedding on [Date]. Thank you for inviting us! We are looking forward to celebrating your special day with you."
• "Thank you kindly for your invitation. However, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you from afar and hope your day is special."

When responding, it is important to maintain a formal and cordial tone. Be sure to respond promptly, as the couple will appreciate a timely confirmation of your attendance or regrets.

Unable to attend

When responding to a formal wedding invitation to say that you are unable to attend, it is important to be polite, compassionate, and prompt. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you craft your response:

Think About Your Relationship with the Couple

If you are very close to the couple, it is considerate to inform them of your inability to attend in person or over the phone before sending a formal response. If you are not as close, a formal response may be sufficient.

Express Regret and Gratitude

It is essential to express your regret at not being able to attend and to thank the couple for inviting you. This shows your appreciation for being included in their special day.

Be Honest but Concise

Provide an honest reason for your inability to attend, especially if it is due to financial constraints or personal discomfort, such as an ex being part of the wedding party. However, you don't need to go into excessive detail. A concise explanation, such as "work commitments," is often enough.

Use Appropriate Language

Use purposeful language to firmly convey your inability to attend. Avoid leaving room for interpretation or creating an impression that you are undecided. This helps set clear expectations and avoids any potential awkwardness.

Follow Up

Consider following up with a call, email, or text to express your disappointment at not being able to attend. This extra step shows your sincerity and helps to maintain a positive relationship with the couple.

Sample Responses

• "Thank you for thinking of me. Regrettably, I won't be able to attend due to prior commitments, but please know that I send my warmest congratulations."
• "I appreciate the invitation, and it means a great deal to me. Unfortunately, due to conflicting commitments, I won't be able to be there, but I wish you all the best."
• "I would love to attend and celebrate with you, but I have prior commitments on that date. I hope we can get together afterward to hear all about your special day."
• "Thank you so much for including us in your wedding plans. Sadly, we won't be able to attend as we have a prior engagement, but we will be toasting you from afar and look forward to hearing all about it afterward."

Frequently asked questions