Deborah Chan
Japanese weddings are a beautiful blend of ancient customs and contemporary styles, with most couples opting for a mix of Shinto rituals, Western elements, and modern practices. The traditional wedding is becoming less popular, with most weddings now having a more Western style, including the procession down the aisle and Christian elements such as cake-cutting and the exchange of rings. However, traditional Shinto ceremonies, which account for around one in six Japanese weddings, are still held in the main building of a shrine, with the bride and groom pledging their eternal love for one another.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ceremony type | Shinto, Christian, Buddhist, or non-religious |
| Clothing | Traditional Japanese (kimono) or Western-style |
| Groom's attire | Black haori jacket, black-and-white striped hakama kimono overskirt |
| Bride's attire | White kimono (shiromuku) or white wedding gown |
| Rituals | Sake sharing, purification, exchange of rings, cake cutting, honeymoon |
| Gifts | Monetary gifts (goshugi) presented in special envelopes (shugi-bukuro) |
| Honeymoon | Visiting shrines and mausolea |
| Arrangement | Omiai (arranged) or ren'ai (love match) |
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What You'll Learn
Traditional Japanese wedding attire
Japanese weddings are often a mix of traditional and modern, Western elements. Weddings in Japan are usually held according to Shinto traditions or in chapels following Christian marriage customs.
When it comes to traditional Japanese wedding attire, the kimono is the foundation of all three types of traditional wedding ensembles for women. Brides typically wear a white kimono, which symbolises her commitment to take on the "colour" of her new family. Over this, a colourful overcoat called an iro-uchikake is worn. This is often red or black, featuring large cranes in the pattern or embroidery, which symbolise good luck. The iro-uchikake was originally worn by samurai wives in the Muromachi period and was later adopted by rich merchants and aristocrats during the Edo period. The hairstyle is usually in the "Shimada" style, with a traditional hairpiece called a tsunokakushi, which means "hiding horns". It symbolises the bride's commitment to be kind and obedient to her husband.
Brides may also wear a shiromuku, a pure white kimono, or a kurobiki furisode, a black and patterned kimono once worn by nobility during the Edo period. The furisode is distinguished by its long sleeves that hang down. The groom, meanwhile, wears a black haori jacket bearing the family crest and a black-and-white striped hakama kimono overskirt. The colour black is associated with dignity, reflecting the groom's role as the head of the household.
In modern times, it has become common for brides to wear Western-style white dresses, particularly at garden or chapel weddings.
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Shinto ceremonies
Traditional Shinto ceremonies (神前式, shinzen shiki), which account for around one in six Japanese weddings, are held in the main building of a shrine. The ceremony relies heavily on Shinto themes of purification, and the couple's pledge to live in harmony with nature and their community.
The Shinto faith centers on the belief in yaoyorozu no kami—the idea that divine spirits or gods reside in all things, from natural elements to everyday objects. The ceremony begins with a ritual purification of the couple and guests by a Shinto priest, after which the priest announces the marriage to the kami and asks for their blessing. This is followed by the san-san-ku-do ceremony, where the couple takes three sips each from three cups of sake, representing three oaths taken three times. The ritual is said to be the core of a Shinto wedding, symbolizing the sharing of joys and sorrows as a married couple and suggesting fertility.
The bride and groom traditionally wear kimono, with the bride in a shiromuku (白無垢, 'pure white dress'), a sumptuous white kimono symbolizing purity and elegance, and the groom in a black kimono called "montsuki hakama," signifying formality. The bride may also wear a wataboshi (綿帽子), an all-white hood or cowl, as a veil to hide her face from all but the groom until the end of the ceremony. The groom wears a black crested haori (羽織) jacket and a loose, skirt-like hakama (袴) with a vertical stripe, bearing the family crest.
After the exchange of cups, the priest offers Japanese evergreen to the altar as gratitude to the spirits, and the couple follows with their own offering. Rings are then presented, and within wedding prayers, the gods Izanagi and Izanami are often invoked as symbols of a harmonious marriage. The ceremony typically takes 20 to 30 minutes, followed by a less formal reception with a larger group of friends and family.
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Sake sharing
One of the most significant rituals involving sake is the Three-Three-Nine Ceremony, also known as "San San Kudo" or "Sansankudo". In this ceremony, the bride and groom exchange sips of sake nine times from three differently-sized cups stacked on top of each other. This ritual symbolises the couple's union and their pledge to live in harmony with nature, their community, and each other. It also represents their ancestral past, present, and future together.
The type of sake used in this ceremony is called "Omiki", a sacred variety offered to the Shinto gods. Omiki is believed to be imbued with divine power and is shared between the couple to strengthen their connection with the gods, signifying that their marriage is blessed by these divine forces. This ceremony also represents the purification of the couple's hearts as they begin their new life together.
Another sake-related tradition in Japanese weddings is "Kagami Biraki", which translates to "opening the sacred cask". This ritual involves using a wooden mallet to break open the lid of a sake cask, symbolising the "breaking open of good fortune". The sake from the cask is then distributed among the guests in "masu", which are cubic cups made of Japanese wood.
In addition to these wedding rituals, sake also plays a role in Japanese wedding proposals or engagement ceremonies, known as "Yuino". During Yuino, the couple and their families come together to exchange symbolic gifts, such as dried seafood and sake, representing prosperity, fertility, or happiness.
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Gift-giving customs
Gift-giving is an essential part of Japanese wedding customs. There are several types of gifts exchanged between the couple, their families, and their guests.
During the engagement ceremony, called Yuino, the couple's families formally exchange symbolic gifts such as dried seafood and sake. Each item represents prosperity, fertility, or happiness and strengthens the relationship between the two families.
Before the wedding, the couple may also exchange lucky objects. These can include Kinpo-zutsumi (a ceremonial amount of money), Katsuobushi (dried bonito, symbolising lasting quality), Suehiro (a fan symbolising happiness), and Tomoshiraga (linen thread signifying strong ties in the marriage).
Wedding guests are expected to give a monetary gift called Goshugi, presented in a special envelope known as a Shugi-bukuro. The amount varies depending on the guest's relationship to the couple, with close friends and relatives giving around 30,000 yen ($300) and colleagues or distant relatives contributing 10,000-20,000 yen.
In return for the guests' monetary gifts, the newlyweds provide wedding favours known as Hikidemono. These can range from small items like sweets or coasters to more substantial gifts such as high-end tableware or gift catalogues. The Hikidemono is a way for the couple to express their gratitude and share their happiness with their guests.
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Western elements
Weddings in Japan have evolved over the years to incorporate many Western elements. While traditional Japanese weddings were held at shrines, hotels, or ceremony halls, nowadays, most weddings have a more Western style, with a procession down the aisle.
Chapel weddings, modelled after Christian wedding ceremonies, became popular after World War II and are now the most common style of wedding in Japan. Even if the ceremony is not explicitly Christian, couples may choose to incorporate Christian elements, such as exchanging rings and cutting a wedding cake. Some brides also choose to wear a white wedding gown, and grooms may opt for a tuxedo.
The wedding reception is another aspect that has been influenced by Western traditions. In the past, Japanese wedding receptions were formal sit-down affairs, with guests seated according to their relationship to the couple. Today, however, receptions blend traditional and modern elements, and it is common for both the ceremony and reception to be held in the same place. Wedding favours, or hikidemono, are a common practice, with couples gifting small items like sweets or tableware to their guests.
Another Western tradition that has been adopted in Japan is the honeymoon. The modern-day honeymoon is said to have originated with the crown prince and princess, who travelled to Ise Shrine after their wedding to pay their respects at imperial mausolea.
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Frequently asked questions
Guests are expected to dress formally and avoid wearing black, white, or animal patterns. If in doubt, it is recommended that non-Japanese guests avoid wearing national costumes.
Wedding receptions in Japan have evolved over time, blending traditional elements with modern trends. Traditional Japanese wedding food includes sushi and dried seafood. Cakes are also common, influenced by Western traditions.
Traditional Japanese wedding attire includes a pure white kimono for the bride and a black kimono with the family crest for the groom. However, Western-style attire has become more common in recent years, with brides wearing white dresses and grooms wearing tuxedos.
