Junior Rasmussen
Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the most challenging tasks is deciding who to invite. Once you've created your guest list, you'll want to ensure your guests RSVP so you can get an accurate headcount for your big day. There are several ways to go about this, including traditional paper RSVP cards, online RSVPs through a wedding website or email, or a combination of both. The Knot and Wedding Wire offer free online tools to help you manage your guest list and track RSVPs, although some users have reported issues with these platforms. Ultimately, it's a good idea to give your guests multiple RSVP options so they can choose whichever method they're most comfortable with.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| RSVP deadline | 2 months before the wedding, or 3-4 weeks before the wedding |
| RSVP methods | Online, mail, phone |
| Advantages of online RSVPs | Cost-effective, convenient, eco-friendly, easier to track |
| Disadvantages of online RSVPs | Older guests may not be comfortable |
| RSVP card wording | Clear deadline, engaging call to action, dietary requirements, song requests |
| Following up with guests | Wait until after the RSVP deadline, then call or email |
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What You'll Learn
RSVP deadlines
Setting an RSVP deadline is an important part of wedding planning. It can be frustrating to not be able to lock in your guest count, begin a seating chart, or plan for meals, transportation, and accommodation without knowing how many guests will be attending. Therefore, it is important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it.
The RSVP deadline should be at least four weeks before the wedding and no later than two weeks before. The sweet spot for an RSVP deadline is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and chase any outstanding RSVPs. It is also enough time for guests to make travel plans and accommodations if necessary.
If you are having a destination wedding, you should ask guests to RSVP at least four to six weeks before the wedding. This gives you plenty of buffer time to make sure every guest is accounted for and to get a sense of when people will be arriving and departing so you can plan pre- and post-wedding events.
It is recommended to include the RSVP deadline on your invitations and wedding website. To maximize your chances of getting RSVPs on time, give guests a few different ways to respond, such as including a paper RSVP card with the invitation or collecting RSVPs through your wedding website.
If you have not heard from several people past the RSVP date, you can follow up with them by phone or email. It is best to do this about a week after the deadline has passed.
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Digital vs. physical RSVPs
Digital and physical RSVPs each have their own advantages and disadvantages.
Digital RSVPs are generally considered more convenient and cost-effective. They can be sent and responded to quickly, making them ideal for weddings with short notice. Digital RSVPs also eliminate the risk of responses getting lost in the mail and can be easily tracked through websites or email. This makes it easier to manage guest responses and gather additional information, such as vaccination status.
However, digital invites and RSVPs may feel less personal and special to some guests. They can also end up in spam folders, leading to potential confusion or missed responses. Additionally, technological difficulties and less tech-savvy guests may pose challenges, requiring additional follow-up and explanation.
On the other hand, physical RSVPs offer a traditional and luxurious experience. The tactile nature of high-quality paper, intricate designs, and the act of opening an envelope create a sense of anticipation and excitement for the wedding. They are often considered more official and serve as cherished keepsakes for both the couple and their guests.
However, physical RSVPs can be more expensive due to printing and postage costs. They may also require collecting guest addresses and manually inputting responses, which can be time-consuming. There is also a risk of errors, such as incorrect addresses or missing stamps, and the potential for responses to get lost in the mail.
Some couples choose to offer both digital and physical RSVP options to cater to different preferences and ensure a higher response rate. This can be done by including a wedding website link or QR code on the physical invitation, allowing guests to choose their preferred method.
Ultimately, the decision between digital and physical RSVPs depends on factors such as personal preference, wedding theme, budget, and guest demographics. Both options have their merits and can be effectively utilised to gather guest responses.
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Following up with non-responders
It is very common for wedding couples to be left waiting for some guests' responses. This can be frustrating, especially when you need final numbers for your venue and caterer. Here are some tips on how to follow up with non-responders:
Timing
Give guests a week after the RSVP deadline before you contact them. Some may have mailed their response cards on the RSVP date, and you will look more in control if you wait a week rather than calling on the deadline. If you sent your invites out very early, you might want to give guests a little more time to respond, as they may have forgotten.
Method
It is best to call non-responders, as your email might end up in their spam folder. When you call, say something like, "Just calling to see if you’ll be able to attend our wedding". Your guest will be able to hear that you're not angry, and you will get a quicker answer than if you were to email. If you do need to email, try to make your message friendly and upbeat, and give guests a deadline to respond. For example: "We haven't heard yet if you are coming to our wedding. We are hoping you can make it and see the beautiful little northern city that we both love. Feel free to respond here with your yes and supper preference or no."
Setting a deadline
If your guest says they are still unsure, don't respond with annoyance. Instead, give them a deadline to get back to you, explaining that you have to submit numbers to your caterer. For example: "Please do let me know by [date] since we have to submit our headcount to the caterer."
Multiple follow-ups
If you don't hear back from a guest after your first follow-up, it is a good idea to try again. You could send a text or email, or even meet them in person. If you are still unable to get in touch, it is safe to assume they aren't coming.
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Invitations and RSVP timings
When it comes to wedding invitations and RSVP timings, it's important to give your guests a deadline to respond by, typically around the same time as your caterers will need their final numbers. This is usually about a month before the wedding, so you should send out your invitations around six to eight weeks before the big day. This gives your guests enough time to respond and makes it easier for you to manage your guest list and other arrangements.
You can choose to offer your guests multiple RSVP options, such as online or by mail, to make it more convenient for them. Nowadays, many couples opt for online RSVPs through wedding websites or email, which can be more efficient and eco-friendly. However, some guests may prefer traditional paper RSVP cards, and you can provide these along with your invitations.
If you decide to use an online RSVP system, such as The Knot or Wedding Wire, you can easily track responses, meal choices, and other information. These platforms often offer guest list management tools, which can help you organize your guest list, gather addresses, and share the list with your wedding planner, caterer, and venue.
However, it's important to be mindful of potential issues with online RSVP systems, such as difficulties with the user interface or challenges for guests with the same names. You may also want to consider password protection or other security measures to prevent unwanted additions to your guest list.
In addition to the basic question of attendance, you can include other inquiries on your RSVP cards or website, such as meal preferences or dietary restrictions, to gather more practical information from your guests. This will help you in finalizing the details of your wedding and ensuring your guests are well accommodated.
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Planning with RSVP numbers
Planning a wedding can be a challenging task, and one of the most important aspects is managing the guest list and RSVP numbers. Here are some tips and suggestions for planning with RSVP numbers:
Choose Your RSVP Method
Firstly, decide on the method of RSVP that works best for you and your guests. Traditional paper RSVP cards are still a popular option, and you can include these with your wedding invitations. You can also offer multiple RSVP options, such as providing guests with the choice to respond by mail or online.
Online RSVPs
If you're looking for a more modern and eco-friendly approach, consider using a wedding website or email address for guests to RSVP online. Websites like The Knot offer free wedding websites with RSVP capabilities, allowing guests to respond digitally and providing an easy way to manage your guest list.
Guest List Management
Creating a guest list can be time-consuming, but tools like The Knot's Guest List Manager can simplify the process. This free tool helps you organize your guest list, gather addresses, collect and track RSVPs, and share your list with other wedding vendors.
Ask the Right Questions
On your RSVP cards or website, be sure to ask guests more than just "Are you coming?" Include practical questions such as meal choices and any other relevant information you need to plan the wedding. This ensures you gather all the necessary details from your guests.
Secure Your Guest List
When using online RSVP tools, consider securing your guest list to prevent unauthorized additions. This ensures that only invited guests can RSVP and helps you avoid unexpected additions.
Plan for Last-Minute Changes
Keep in mind that RSVP numbers may change closer to the wedding date. Some guests may cancel, while others may add last-minute plus-ones. It's a good idea to have a system for managing these changes and staying organized, such as using a guest list manager or a separate app.
By following these suggestions, you can effectively plan with RSVP numbers and ensure a well-organized wedding celebration. Remember to choose the RSVP methods that suit your preferences and provide a memorable experience for your guests.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks before the wedding day. The sweet spot for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and chase down any missing responses.
The easiest way to ensure RSVPs arrive on time is to make the process simple. Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation suite so that your guests have no reason not to pop that card in the mail. You can also include an option for guests to digitally submit their RSVP via your wedding website.
If the deadline has passed and you still haven't heard from someone on your guest list, it's appropriate to send them a quick note. You can also prompt them to respond on your wedding website if you have one. You can say something like: "Just a quick note to see if you were planning to attend our wedding on [date], as it will help us finalize the details for the big day."
