Who Buys The Wedding Bands?

Wedding ring traditions have evolved over the years, and while some couples still adhere to the traditional approach, others opt for a more modern arrangement. In the past, the bride or her family was expected to purchase the groom's wedding ring, while the groom or his family would buy the bride's wedding band. However, nowadays, there are no hard and fast rules, and couples have a wide range of options to choose from. Some couples decide to split the cost of the wedding rings, while others may choose to buy each other's rings or purchase their own. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one and should be based on open communication and what works best for the couple.

Wedding band costs and how to split them

Wedding band costs can vary depending on several factors, and there are a few options for how to split the costs.

Who Buys the Wedding Bands?

Traditionally, the bride (and/or her family) buys the groom's wedding ring, while the groom (and/or his family) pays for the bride's. However, nowadays, there are no hard-and-fast rules, and each couple is expected to pay for their partner's wedding band. Some couples split the cost of their wedding rings, especially if they have already combined their finances or are paying for the wedding together. It is also possible to contribute proportional to individual incomes, as is common when splitting costs as a couple.

Wedding Band Costs

The cost of a wedding band depends on several factors, including the number of musicians, the length of their performance, the need for learning new songs, and travel expenses. Wedding bands typically cost more than a DJ, with an average cost of $4,500 in the US, ranging from $2,850 to $6,488. However, costs can vary widely depending on location, with prices ranging from $8,000 to $30,000.

Tips for Saving Money on Wedding Bands

To save money on wedding bands, consider the following tips:

• Be mindful of the number of hours the band will be performing. A four-hour package is usually sufficient for most weddings.
• Opt for a smaller band with fewer instruments, which can cost less.
• Consider hiring the band for only one part of the event, such as the dance portion or cocktail hour.
• Book the band for an off-peak date or weekday, as rates are often lower during less popular booking times.

Who traditionally buys the wedding bands

Wedding traditions have evolved over the years, and the rules around who buys the wedding bands are no exception. While traditionally, the bride (and/or her family) buys the groom's wedding ring, and the groom (and/or his family) pays for the bride's ring, modern couples have a variety of options to choose from. Ultimately, there are no hard-and-fast rules, and each couple can decide what works best for them.

Traditional Approach

According to tradition, the bride is responsible for purchasing the groom's wedding band, while the groom typically pays for the bride's ring. This custom assumes a binary gender dynamic and that the bride's family will cover the cost of the wedding. However, this tradition has evolved, and nowadays, it is generally expected that each half of the couple pays for the other person's wedding band.

Modern Interpretations

Modern couples approach the purchase of wedding bands in various ways. Some choose to pay for each other's bands, while others opt to split the cost evenly or contribute to a shared wedding account. In some cases, the couple may decide that one person buys both wedding bands, especially if they bought the engagement ring, which is usually a more expensive purchase. Additionally, some couples may receive financial assistance from their families or choose to have the groomsmen or a close relative cover the cost as a wedding gift.

Communication is Key

Regardless of the approach, open communication between the couple is essential. Discussing expectations, preferences, and financial considerations will ensure a smooth process and prevent any negative feelings associated with this significant financial investment. It is also crucial to start shopping early, ideally three to four months before the ceremony, to allow for any customizations or last-minute adjustments.

Modern approaches to buying wedding bands

• Splitting the cost: Some couples opt to split the cost of their wedding rings equally, especially if they have already combined their finances or are paying for other wedding expenses together. This approach may also involve dividing the cost proportionally to their individual incomes, a common practice for couples when splitting costs.
• Individual purchases: In some cases, each person in the couple may prefer to buy their own ring, ensuring they get their desired style and design. This approach can be practical if both individuals have specific and differing ideas about their ideal wedding band.
• Mutual gifting: For some couples, there is special meaning in each partner picking out and gifting the other's wedding ring. This approach adds a romantic element to the exchange of rings during the wedding ceremony.
• Financial considerations: The couple's financial situation may also dictate how they purchase their wedding bands. For example, if one person bought the typically more expensive engagement ring, the other person might pay for both wedding bands. Alternatively, the woman may buy both wedding rings if she is the primary breadwinner, or the man may assume this responsibility if he is taking on most of the wedding expenses.
• Combining traditions: While modern couples often deviate from traditions, some aspects can be combined with contemporary approaches. For instance, the couple may shop together for their rings, even if they decide to buy them separately, allowing for input from both and ensuring the rings match or complement each other.

Ultimately, the modern approach to buying wedding bands is highly personalized, with couples choosing the option that suits their dynamic, preferences, and financial circumstances. Open communication about expectations and preferences is essential to making this decision a smooth and enjoyable part of the wedding planning process.

The history of wedding bands

Wedding rings have been exchanged for thousands of years, with the first wedding rings being traced back to Ancient Egypt. The tradition has evolved over time, with different civilisations putting their own unique spin on it.

Ancient Egypt

Wedding rings were exchanged in Ancient Egypt as far back as 4000 BC. The rings were made from reeds, leather, bone, or plant stems, and were placed on the fourth finger of the left hand, as it was believed that there was a 'vein of love' that ran directly from this finger to the heart. The circle of the ring represented an undying love, much like it does today.

Ancient Greece and Rome

The Greeks and Romans continued the tradition, with betrothal rings made from leather, bone, or ivory. During this time, the use of metal rings, particularly iron, began to surpass other materials. Gold and silver rings were given on rare occasions, but only by the extremely wealthy. The Romans named the 'vein of love' the vena amoris and began engraving their rings. Fede rings, featuring engravings of two hands clasped, became popular.

The Middle Ages and Renaissance Europe

Christian marriage ceremonies adopted wedding rings into tradition around 900 AD. During the Renaissance, gimmel rings—designs composed of multiple interlocking hoops that can separate into individual, stand-alone rings—became popular. Traditionally, these were used as engagement rings. The betrothed couple would each wear one of the hoops during the engagement period and then rejoin them for the bride to wear during the wedding ceremony. Poesy wedding rings, featuring short engraved excerpts from poems or scripture, were also popular at this time.

Modern Times

Today, wedding rings are almost always made of gold, silver, or platinum, although some people choose alternative rings made of wood, gemstones, or titanium. Wedding bands for men are a fairly recent innovation, becoming popular during World War II when soldiers wanted a reminder of their wives waiting for them at home. Now, there are no rules when it comes to wedding rings, and couples have the freedom to choose styles that suit them.

Tips for buying a wedding band

Wedding bands are a huge symbol of love and commitment for married couples. There are no hard-and-fast rules about who buys the wedding bands, but there are some traditions and modern alternatives to consider. Here are some tips for buying a wedding band:

Know the Traditions

Traditionally, the groom buys the wedding band for the bride, and the bride buys the band for the groom. This is seen as a romantic gesture and a gift of love exchanged on the wedding day.

Modern Alternatives

Nowadays, many couples decide to purchase their own wedding bands or split the cost. This could be because they have already combined their finances, are sharing the expenses of the wedding, or simply prefer a more modern approach.

Shop Together

Even if you decide to purchase the bands separately, shopping together can be a fun experience. It allows both partners to have input and ensures the rings match. It can also be a special date night and a chance to celebrate your love.

Know Your Ring Size

Rings can be challenging to resize, so it is important to establish your ring size before purchasing.

Choose Based on Meaning

Selecting a wedding band is not just about how much you spend but about choosing a ring that tells your unique love story and has deep meaning for both partners.

Consider Your Lifestyle

Choose a ring that suits your lifestyle and day-to-day activities. If you work with your hands or play sports, consider a simple solid gold design or a low-profile ring. If you want to include gemstones, a channel-set style will keep them secure.

Factor in Your Budget

Have a budget in mind and stick to it. Wedding bands can vary widely in price depending on the metal, finger size, width, and any additional embellishments. A simple 14-karat gold or platinum band will likely cost around $1,000, with extra for engravings or gemstones.

Choose a Reputable Jeweler

Always buy from reputable jewelers and ask for certificates of authenticity, especially if your band includes gemstones. A warranty can also save you from future headaches.

Start Shopping Early

It is important to start shopping early, especially if you want something unusual or with custom details. Most wedding bands are made to order, so allow plenty of time to avoid unforeseen delays.

Decide on Matching Bands

There is no rule that says a couple needs to have matching wedding bands. It is all about finding what you both love and reflects your individual styles. If you do want similar bands, consider a gender-neutral option like a braided band or a similar finish.

Think About Insurance

Adding a jewelry rider to your insurance is usually quite inexpensive and can give you peace of mind. A warranty may also be worth considering, depending on your appetite for risk.

Frequently asked questions