Lyla Dejesus
Marriage customs in ancient Israel were vastly different from those of modern western societies. While Israelite marriage customs have evolved over time, they continue to be based on Jewish laws and traditions. In ancient times, marriages were usually contracted within clans and families, with fathers arranging matches and receiving dowries for their daughters. Betrothal was a significant commitment, marked by the exchange of a bridewealth gift, followed by wedding festivities that included days of feasting. Men were permitted to marry multiple women, and wives were expected to be virgins, adhering to societal norms that valued female purity. Today, Jewish weddings follow a two-step process, beginning with kiddushin (betrothal) and culminating in nissuin (marriage), accompanied by rituals such as the signing of the ketubah (marriage contract) and the breaking of a glass.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Marriage customs | Unlike those of modern western societies |
| Virginity | Girls were expected to be virgins before marriage |
| Polygamy | Men were allowed to marry multiple women |
| Marriage age | Girls were married around puberty, whereas men were older |
| Marriage arrangements | Fathers arranged the match, but the girl was consulted |
| Dowry | The father of the groom paid the father of the bride |
| Betrothal | A firmer commitment than today's engagement |
| Bridewealth | A gift presented to the bride, not a purchase price |
| Wedding festivities | Days of feasting |
| Husband's authority | Men had life-and-death power over their wives |
| Intermarriage | Some biblical texts are tolerant of marriages between Israelites and non-Israelites |
| Marriage contract | Ketubah, signed by two witnesses |
| Wedding canopy | Chuppah or huppah |
| Wedding ring | Given by the groom to the bride under the canopy |
| Breaking a glass | Symbolises the destruction of the two Jewish temples |
| Yichud | The bride and groom are left alone for 8–20 minutes after the ceremony |
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What You'll Learn
Marriage customs in ancient Israel
The betrothal was a firm commitment, more binding than today's engagement. The groom would give the bride money or a valuable object, such as a ring, and they would share a cup of wine to seal their covenant vows. The couple was then considered married, but they did not live together or consummate the marriage until after the wedding festivities, which could take place some time later. The wedding was a less important event than the betrothal and involved days of feasting.
Marriage in ancient Israel was based on economic and social considerations, with a strong preference for marriages between cousins and within the tribe or larger tribal confederation. Marriages were often arranged, but not without some consideration for love. The wife was typically taken from within the larger family circle at the outset of puberty or around the age of 13, and was expected to provide children and help her husband. The husband was the dominant member of the family, with the title "lord", "master of the house", or "leader of the family circle". He had life-and-death power over his wife in cases of adultery, and could have multiple wives and concubines.
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Intermarriage and marriage restrictions
Marriage in ancient Israel was very different from modern times. Girls were expected to be virgins when they got married, and men were allowed to marry multiple women. Marriage customs were unlike those of modern western societies, with marriages usually contracted within the clan and family. Fathers arranged the match, and a dowry was paid by the groom's father to the bride's father. This was called 'mohar'.
In biblical times, people were married in early youth. The Book of Deuteronomy states that if a man disliked his wife, "he writes her a bill of divorcement and gives it in her hand". The Deuteronomic law is a product of the century preceding the Babylonian exile.
The Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). During the first stage, the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, requiring a religious divorce to dissolve it. The second stage permits the couple to each other.
Different texts treat marriages with non-Israelites differently. Some passages limit or prohibit marriages between Israelites and non-Israelites, while other texts, such as the book of Ruth, are tolerant of intermarriage. Leviticus 18 prohibits incest but does not include uncle-niece marriages, which are prohibited in some later Jewish communities. Deuteronomy 25:5-10 encourages a custom called levirate marriage, where a widow marries her husband's brother if her husband has died without children.
In ancient Israel, the relationship between husbands and wives was not equal. The Hebrew word for "husband", 'ba'al', also meant "lord" or "master", and men had the power of life and death over their wives in cases of adultery.
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Betrothal and bridewealth
Marriage customs in ancient Israel were very different from those in modern western societies. Betrothal, or kiddushin, was a much firmer commitment than today's engagement. It was the first of two distinct stages in the Jewish wedding process, marking the point when a couple was considered married. However, the bride continued to live in her father's house and did not cohabit with the groom or any other man until the second stage, nissuin, or chuppah, when she was brought to her husband's home.
The betrothal was marked by a blessing over wine and the betrothal blessing, specified in the Talmud, followed by the couple tasting the wine. The groom then gave the bride a ring or another object of value, such as a low-denomination coin, with the intention to marry. This gift is known as "bridewealth" or a bride price and is not to be confused with a dowry, which is paid by the bride's family. Although some consider it a purchase price, anthropologists argue that it is not a sale, and Israelite wives were not viewed as slaves. The bride price was a symbolic gesture, representing the ideal of purity and honesty in a relationship.
The second stage, nissuin, was marked by a wedding ceremony under a chuppah, or canopy, symbolizing the new home being built by the couple. This ceremony was attended by a select few, mostly family, and was followed by a wedding feast that included a much larger crowd.
In ancient times, the father of the groom often selected the bride, and the feelings of the betrothed were not considered. The marriage contract, or ketubah, detailed the groom's obligations to the bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations, and protected the rights of the wife.
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Wedding festivities and traditions
Israelite marriage customs in ancient times were very different from those of modern western societies. Girls were expected to be virgins when they got married, and men were allowed to marry multiple women. Marriage was often contracted within a narrow circle of the clan and family, and fathers usually arranged the match. The groom would pay the father of the bride a mohar, or "bridewealth", which was not always paid in cash but could also be paid in kind or service.
In ancient Israel, the wedding festivities would occur some time after the betrothal, often involving days of feasting. The wedding ceremony was considered a serious religious event, while the wedding feast was a fun, lively celebration for the couple.
Today, Jewish wedding ceremonies follow Jewish laws and traditions, with some variation. Common features include the ketubah (a marriage contract), the chuppah or huppah (a wedding canopy), the giving of a ring by the groom to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass. The ketubah outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations. It is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony and then read to the guests during the ceremony. The chuppah is a canopy that symbolizes the new home being built by the couple. The breaking of the glass holds multiple meanings, including the idea that marriage holds sorrow as well as joy.
In some traditions, the wedding festivities may begin far before the wedding day. For example, a Mizrahi couple may have a Henna ceremony and celebration a few days or a week before the wedding, where they wear traditional clothing, exchange gifts, feast on regional dishes, and dance to traditional Mizrahi music. At the end of the night, the couple receives a red henna painting as a blessing for a successful marriage and protection from the evil eye. There may also be a reception party in the form of a Kiddush on the first Shabbat following the wedding, with an abundance of Israeli salads, meats, seafood, and alcoholic beverages.
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Marriage contracts and ceremonies
Betrothal was a much firmer commitment than engagement is today. The groom would give the bride a ring or another object of value, and the couple would enter into a betrothal period, which typically lasted about a year. During this time, the couple was considered married, but the bride remained in her father's house and could not belong to another man unless she was divorced from her betrothed. The wedding ceremony then consummated the legal tie between the bride and groom.
In ancient Israel, girls were expected to be virgins when they got married and could be put to death if they were not. Men were allowed to marry multiple women, and they had more control over whom they married. Marriage was usually contracted within the family clan, and it was undesirable to marry a woman from a foreign clan. Fathers arranged the match, but the girl was consulted.
Today, Jewish wedding ceremonies vary, but common features include a ketubah (marriage contract), a chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), a ring given to the bride by the groom under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass. The wedding formally begins when the Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings, are recited by the rabbi or select guests. The couple drinks from a cup of wine, and the groom breaks a glass underfoot.
The religious authority for Jewish marriages performed in Israel is the Chief Rabbinate of Israel and the Rabbinical courts. Civil, interfaith, and same-sex marriages are not permitted in Israel, but marriages of this nature entered into abroad are recognized by the state.
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Frequently asked questions
Marriage in Israelite culture is viewed as a contractual bond commanded by God in which a Jewish man and a Jewish woman come together to create a relationship in which God is directly involved. In Ancient Judaism, a marriage could be established in three ways: money, contract, or sexual intercourse.
In Israelite marriages, women are expected to be submissive to their husbands and nurture their masculinity. They are also expected to perform certain household tasks such as spinning, sewing, weaving, manufacturing clothing, fetching water, baking bread, and animal husbandry.
Black Hebrew Israelites are an African American religious community in Israel whose members consider themselves descendants of a lost tribe of Israel. They hold religious beliefs that differ from those of modern Jewish communities in Israel, including permitting polygamy and forbidding birth control. Leaders of the community decide who will marry and whether marriage annulments will be permitted, and they perform wedding ceremonies.
