Junior Rasmussen
The tradition of objecting at weddings dates back to the 12th century when the Catholic Church allowed people to object to a marriage before or during the ceremony. While it may seem like a thing of the past or something that only happens in movies, people really do object at weddings. The reasons for objecting vary, from a jilted past lover to a disapproving family member, and the way objections are handled differs, with some couples choosing to ignore the interruption and continue with the wedding, while others may postpone the wedding to investigate the objection. With easily accessible legal records nowadays, objections are more likely to be emotional pleas rather than disputes of a marriage's legal eligibility.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Still a tradition | Yes, but a fading one |
| Reasons for objecting | Emotional, legal, humorous, or ill-timed declaration of love |
| Who objects? | Family members, past lovers, Elvis impersonators, pets |
| How often does it happen? | More than you'd think |
| How is it handled? | With humour, ignoring, or by encouraging the objector to leave |
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What You'll Learn
Objections are now rare, but still happen
Objections during weddings are rare in modern times, but they do still happen. The tradition is becoming more of a Hollywood trope than a ceremonial staple. The custom has become obsolete due to easily accessible legal records, which are established when applying for a marriage license before the wedding day.
However, some people still object during weddings, often for emotional reasons. For example, at one wedding, the bride's mother stood up and said, "I love you, [groom], and I don't want anyone else as a son-in-law. But my daughter is exactly like me, and I wouldn't be able to let this wedding continue if I didn't warn you about the mess we make out of the lives of people we love. Make sure you want this." In another instance, a guest from a nearby boat shouted, "Don't do it! It's a mistake!"
In some cases, objections are made by people with a personal vendetta against the bride or groom. For example, in one case, a man objected at a wedding to spoil the occasion out of bitterness towards the groom. In another case, a woman objected to her grandfather's marriage by quoting scripture and stating that he was committing adultery by marrying a divorced woman.
While objections are rare, they can still happen and can be made by anyone, from family members to strangers.
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Objections are usually emotional, not legal
Objections at weddings are rare but not unheard of. The tradition of objecting at weddings is fading from popularity as it is considered an antiquated practice. In the past, objections were meant to assess the legal eligibility of a union. Nowadays, most legalities of the marriage are established when applying for a marriage license, so objections are more likely to be emotional pleas than legal disputes.
Historically, the Catholic Church allowed people to object to a marriage both before and during a wedding ceremony. This was important in the 12th century when it was difficult to check the marital status or age of people from other towns. Today, when a couple gives notice or has their banns read, their details are checked against all records, making it very unlikely that an objection on the wedding day would have legal merit.
Emotional objections are still possible, but they are ineffective at disputing a marriage's legal eligibility. For example, a guest might stand up and declare their love for the groom, or a family member might express their disapproval of the union. While these objections can cause an awkward pause in the ceremony, they are not legally binding.
In some cases, objections may have a legal basis, such as if the groom is already married or if there is a glitch in the divorce process. However, these cases are rare and can usually be resolved before the wedding day. If there is a valid legal objection, the proper authorities can be notified, or the matter can be discussed with the courthouse that issued the marriage license.
Overall, while objections at weddings do still occur, they are more likely to be emotional pleas than legal disputes. The tradition of objecting to a marriage is becoming less common as couples are getting married with good intentions and the legalities of the union are pre-established.
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How to handle an objection as a couple
While objections at weddings are rare, they can and do happen. If you are a couple facing an objection, here are some ways to handle it:
Stay calm and assess the situation
Take a moment to gather yourselves and understand the nature of the objection. Is it a joke, like an Elvis impersonator providing entertainment? Or is it a serious matter, such as a legal issue or a personal plea? Understanding the objection's intent will help you navigate your next steps.
Address the objection directly
If the objection is based on a valid legal concern, it is essential to address it. Notify the proper authorities or discuss the matter with the courthouse that issued your marriage license. Remember that the legalities of a union are typically pre-established, so an objection on legal grounds is unlikely to be a surprise.
Decide on a course of action together
As a couple, discuss how you want to proceed. If the objection is emotional or personal, you may choose to pause the ceremony briefly to address the concern. It is your decision whether to continue with the wedding or postpone it to resolve the issue. Remember that an objection during the ceremony is already a dramatic interruption, so consider your comfort and that of your guests when deciding.
Handle the objection with care
If you choose to continue with the wedding, try to minimise the disruption and handle the objection with extreme care. You may opt to ignore the objection and proceed with the wedding as normal, allowing your guests to encourage the objecting party to leave quietly. Alternatively, you can address the objection directly, either by acknowledging it and moving on or by taking a moment to respond and then resuming the ceremony.
Focus on each other and your commitment
An objection can be jarring and may trigger strong emotions. Remember that this moment is about your commitment to each other. Support each other, and if needed, lean on your wedding party or officiant to help navigate the situation.
While objections are rare, they can add a unique twist to your wedding story. How you handle it together will demonstrate your strength as a couple.
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The officiant may ignore the objection
The tradition of allowing wedding guests to voice objections to the union is fading. In the past, it was a pragmatic measure to prevent illegal marriages, such as those involving vulnerable people or individuals who were already married. Nowadays, the legalities of a union are pre-established when applying for a marriage license, so objections rarely hold any legal merit.
If someone does object, the officiant may choose to ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony as normal. In this case, the wedding guests typically encourage the objector to leave. This is because, in most cases, objections are not based on any significant or legal grounds and are often emotionally driven. For example, a guest may declare their love for the bride or groom, or a family member may disapprove of the match.
In some cases, an objection may be valid. For instance, a glitch in the divorce process may have prevented the divorce from becoming official, or there may be a close familial relationship between the couple that was previously unknown. However, these cases are rare, and the officiant may still choose to overlook the objection if it is not deemed extreme or substantial enough to warrant a halt to the proceedings.
Ultimately, the decision to ignore an objection rests with the officiant, and they may choose to do so to avoid creating an awkward situation or causing embarrassment to the couple. In most cases, the ceremony can continue as planned, and any objections can be dealt with privately after the wedding.
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Objections are often dramatic and ill-timed
Objections at weddings are rare but not unheard of. While the tradition is becoming obsolete due to easily accessible legal records, some people still choose to object during the ceremony.
Historically, objections were made to assess the legal eligibility of a union. For instance, to prevent illegal marriages or protect vulnerable people. However, with legalities now established before the wedding day, modern objections are more often emotional in nature. These objections may be dramatic and ill-timed, but they cannot stop the wedding.
One example of a dramatic objection is when a bride turned to her guests and said, "I'd like to thank my maid of honour for sleeping with my fiancé last night". She then threw her bouquet and stormed off. Another instance involved a bride's mother standing up to warn the groom about the mess her daughter would make of his life, echoing the sentiment of another guest who shouted, "Don't do it! It's a mistake!" from a nearby boat.
In some cases, objections may be based on valid legal concerns, such as when a man objected to his relative's marriage due to a glitch that prevented the groom's divorce from being finalised. However, it is now very unlikely for someone to have a valid legal reason to object on the wedding day, as details are thoroughly checked beforehand.
While dramatic objections may make for entertaining stories or on-screen plot twists, they can also cause significant awkwardness and interruption to the ceremony. Wedding officiants may choose to ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony, leaving guests to deal with the objecting party and encourage them to leave.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, people do object at weddings. While the tradition is becoming less common, there are several accounts of objections at weddings, ranging from humorous to serious.
One example is an Elvis impersonator objecting at a wedding in England. Another example is a dog howling during the ceremony.
One example is a guest objecting due to the groom's criminal history. Another example is a family member quoting scripture and stating that the marriage would be a sin.
The purpose of an objection is to assess the legal eligibility of the union. Historically, it was a way to prevent illegal marriages and protect vulnerable people.
The couple should handle the objection with extreme care. The wedding officiant may choose to ignore the objection and continue with the ceremony, or they may give the objector an opportunity to speak.
