Lyla Dejesus
Jewish wedding traditions vary, but they are rooted in Jewish laws and customs. The wedding day is considered a holy day of forgiveness, and the bride and groom are likened to royalty. The wedding ceremony traditionally begins with a reception in honour of the bride and groom, followed by the veiling ceremony, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil. The wedding party then enters in a specific order, with the rabbi and/or cantor, followed by the grandparents of the bride and groom. The groomsmen, best man, groom, bridesmaids, maid of honour, ring bearer, flower girl, and finally, the bride, escorted by her parents, make their way down the aisle to stand under the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy). The ketubah (marriage contract) is signed and read aloud, and the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value. At the end of the ceremony, the groom (or both the bride and groom) steps on a glass inside a cloth bag to shatter it, symbolising the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and the commitment to stand by each other in hard times.
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What You'll Learn
- The wedding ceremony: a chuppah, or huppah, is used to symbolise the couple's new home
- The ketubah: a marriage contract outlining the groom's responsibilities to his bride
- The veiling ritual: a reminder of Jacob being tricked by Laban into marrying Leah
- The bride's attire: traditionally, a wedding band made of metal with no stones
- The wedding procession: the groom is crowned like a king before collecting his bride
The wedding ceremony: a chuppah, or huppah, is used to symbolise the couple's new home
A Jewish wedding ceremony follows Jewish laws and traditions. While wedding ceremonies vary, a common feature of a Jewish wedding is the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), under which the couple stands during their wedding ceremony. The chuppah is a symbol of the new home that the couple will build together.
The chuppah is a cloth canopy held up by four beams. This structure represents the home of the new couple. The cloth canopy is considered an object of Jewish ceremonial art, and considerable attention is often given to creating attractive chuppot. The chuppah is usually placed outdoors under an open sky, symbolising the hopes that the couple will be blessed with a large family. The open sky above the chuppah is not mandatory among Sephardic communities.
The chuppah ceremony is traditionally characterised by an air of solemnity. It is customary in certain communities for the groom to wear a kittel, a long white frock. The white kittel and the bride's white gown are symbols of G-d's atonement and perfect purity. The Shechinah, Divine Presence, graces the presence of every chuppah ceremony. The chuppah ceremony is connected to the seven blessings, which are recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony.
The chuppah is also associated with the two-part Jewish wedding process. The first part, kiddushin (betrothal or sanctification), is when the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, requiring a religious divorce to dissolve it. The second part, nissuin (marriage), is when the couple starts their life together. The ceremony that accomplishes nissuin is also known as chuppah.
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The ketubah: a marriage contract outlining the groom's responsibilities to his bride
The ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride. It is considered an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage ceremony, dating back over 2,000 years. The ketubah is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the wedding ceremony, and then read to the guests during the wedding. It is often written as an illuminated manuscript, framed, and displayed in the couple's home.
The ketubah is not a mutual agreement; the wife agrees only to accept the husband's proposal of marriage. It is not a bill of sale, and the groom does not purchase the bride. Instead, it is a charter of the woman's rights in marriage and the man's duties, designed to protect the wife. The ketubah requires the husband to pay his wife a fixed sum of money, usually from his property, in the event of divorce or his death. This was enacted to make it more difficult for a husband to divorce his wife without appropriate reflection and consideration.
The ketubah also includes the dowry, which is the property of the bride, technically "leased" to the groom for the duration of the marriage. The groom provides the bride with a mohar, or cash gift, which is set aside for the bride and considered a debt to be paid only in the event of his death or divorce. This arrangement allowed poor grooms to marry without any immediate monetary expenditure.
In traditional communities, the ketubah lists the groom's financial and conjugal responsibilities to the bride. In modern practices, the newlyweds determine what they will provide to one another during their marriage, similar to vows. Many contemporary couples choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better suit their relationship.
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The veiling ritual: a reminder of Jacob being tricked by Laban into marrying Leah
A Jewish wedding ceremony, or chatunah, is a tapestry woven from many threads: biblical, historical, mystical, cultural, and legal. It is a highly symbolic affair, with various rituals and traditions that are steeped in history and carry significant meaning. One such ritual is the veiling of the bride, which is also known as badeken or bedeken in Yiddish. This ceremony is said to commemorate the event that occurred during Jacob's wedding ceremony when he was tricked by Laban into marrying Leah instead of Rachel.
The story of Jacob, Laban, Leah, and Rachel is a complex one, with various interpretations. In the biblical narrative, Jacob falls in love with Rachel, Laban's younger daughter, and agrees to work for Laban for seven years in exchange for her hand in marriage. However, on the wedding night, Laban deceives Jacob by substituting Leah, his older daughter, for Rachel, taking advantage of the darkness and possibly Jacob's drunkenness. Jacob only realizes his mistake the next morning. While some interpret this as a comical mistake driven by sexual urges, others suggest that Jacob was not spending much time in Laban's home and that the veiling of the bride played a role in the deception.
The veiling ritual, or badeken, is a direct reminder of this episode. During the badeken, the groom covers the bride's face with a veil, symbolizing his commitment to her inner beauty and innate modesty, which will never fade. It also serves as a reminder for the groom to truly know his bride and ensure he is marrying the bride of his choice. By performing this ritual, Jewish couples commemorate the challenges faced by their ancestors and reinforce the importance of seeing beyond physical appearance.
The veiling ritual is just one of many traditions in a Jewish wedding. Other notable rituals include the signing of the ketubah (marriage contract), the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), the exchange of rings, the breaking of a glass, and the Sheva B'rachot (seven blessings). Each of these rituals carries its own symbolism and contributes to the rich tapestry of Jewish wedding traditions.
Overall, the veiling ritual, or badeken, serves as a reminder of the story of Jacob being tricked by Laban into marrying Leah. It is a tradition that has evolved to emphasize the groom's commitment to his bride's inner beauty and to ensure he truly knows his chosen partner.
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The bride's attire: traditionally, a wedding band made of metal with no stones
A Jewish wedding ceremony is steeped in tradition and symbolism. One of the most iconic parts of a Jewish wedding is the exchange of wedding bands, which takes place under the chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy). Interestingly, the use of wedding rings in Jewish weddings is not a long-held tradition, and they were only introduced in the medieval period, influenced by the wider cultures in which Jewish communities lived.
The bride's wedding band is traditionally made of plain metal with no stones. The metal is usually gold, as it is considered pure and contains kabbalistic significance. However, platinum or silver are also acceptable alternatives. The ring is meant to be a simple, unbroken circle, symbolising a marriage unmarred by conflict or distraction. It is also a representation of the bride price, a sum of money given by the groom to the bride's family, signifying his intention to marry. The ring serves as a monetary equivalent, demonstrating the groom's commitment and willingness to provide for his bride.
The bride's ring is typically placed on her right index finger during the ceremony, symbolising her acceptance of the groom's proposal. In ancient times, the weight of the ring determined its value, which is why it was kept unadorned. This tradition also ensured that the bride was fully aware of the ring's worth and consented to the marriage without any misrepresentation. After the ceremony, the bride may move the ring to her left ring finger, following modern Western customs.
In some traditions, the bride is veiled during the badeken ceremony before the wedding. The groom covers the bride's face with a veil, symbolising his interest in her inner beauty, which will never fade. The veil also emphasises the innate modesty expected of a Jewish bride. The veiling ceremony is followed by the signing of the ketubah, a symbolic Jewish marriage contract outlining the groom's responsibilities to his bride and their rights and protections within the marriage.
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The wedding procession: the groom is crowned like a king before collecting his bride
Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, with the wedding day considered a personal Yom Kippur—the holiest and most auspicious day of one's life. The wedding procession is a significant part of the ceremony, with the groom often playing a central role. In the baraat, the groom's procession, he arrives on a ceremonial white horse, escorted by his friends and family, with music and dancing. This ritual symbolises the groom's importance and is akin to welcoming royalty.
In Jewish culture, the groom is likened to a king on his wedding day, and the bride to a queen. They are considered sovereign over their lives and surroundings, with their previous sins forgiven. The groom is dressed in a kittel, a long white frock, symbolising God's atonement and purity. The groom's procession often includes his groomsmen and best man, with the groom's parents escorting him to the chuppah or huppah (the wedding canopy). The chuppah is a sacred space, symbolising the new home being built by the couple.
The groom's procession is followed by the bridesmaids, the maid of honour, and the bride, who is escorted by her parents and sometimes other male family members. In some traditions, the bride's father "gives her away" and lifts her veil, kissing her as a blessing. The veil is an important part of the Jewish wedding, symbolising the groom's interest in the bride's inner beauty.
The groom's crowning is an important ritual in some Jewish weddings, where he is crowned first, followed by the bride, symbolising their new authority as a family. The groom's procession thus sets the tone for the wedding, honouring the groom as a king and marking the beginning of his new life with his bride.
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Frequently asked questions
A Jewish wedding is a wedding ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions.
Jewish wedding traditions include a ketubah (marriage contract), a chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), a ring owned by the groom given to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass.
The ketubah outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride, including the conditions he will provide in the marriage, the bride's protections and rights, and the framework should the couple choose to divorce.
The breaking of the glass holds multiple meanings. Some say it represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, while others say it demonstrates that marriage holds sorrow as well as joy and is a representation of the couple's commitment to each other even in hard times.
