Etiquette Guide: Wedding Invitation Envelope Conundrum

Wedding invitations can be a stressful affair, especially when it comes to the assembly and stuffing of envelopes. The process is less complicated than it seems, but there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to have a system in place, such as creating an assembly line and laying out all the necessary pieces, including the invitation, enclosure cards, and adornments. The order of stacking the invitation suite also matters, with the general rule being to place the largest card at the bottom, followed by the tissue paper or vellum overlay, the reception card, enclosure cards, and finally, the RSVP card and envelope.

When it comes to addressing the envelopes, there are specific etiquette guidelines to follow. Traditionally, wedding invitations include an inner and outer envelope, but the inner envelope is optional. The outer envelope is for mailing and includes the guest's name(s) and address, while the inner envelope contains the invitation and may include the names of the invitees. The outer envelope is typically more formal, with full names and personal titles, while the inner envelope can be more casual, using first names only. It is also important to consider the relationship status and titles of the invitees when addressing the envelopes.

Inner and outer envelopes

Wedding invitations traditionally include an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is formal and typically includes the recipient's full name and title. For example, for a married couple sharing the same last name, the outer envelope would be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope would include both names, with the woman's name first: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

The inner envelope is more informal and may include the recipient's name and title, or just their name, depending on the vibe you are going for. For example, for a married couple, the inner envelope could be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or just "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are inviting a family with children, the outer envelope would include the parents' names, and the inner envelope would include the names of the children in addition to the parents' names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson" on the outer envelope, and "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily" on the inner envelope.

It is also possible to send wedding invitations with just one envelope, which is becoming more common as couples shift towards sustainability and simplicity. In this case, all invited parties should be listed on the front of the outer envelope.

Assembling the invitation suite

The process of assembling wedding invitations can be less complicated than it seems. Here is a step-by-step guide to putting together your invitation suite:

Step 1: Get the main invitation card

Place the invitation card at the bottom, print side up. This is usually the largest card in the suite.

Step 2: Add vellum liners

If your suite includes a thin sheet of vellum, it's your choice whether to include it. Traditionally, this was used to prevent ink smudges. If you want to include it, place the vellum on top of the invitation card.

Step 3: Stack the reception card

If you have a reception card, place it face up on top of the wedding invite.

Step 4: Include other enclosure cards

Place any remaining enclosure cards, such as a map, hotel accommodations, or travel information cards, face up on top of the reception card. If there is more than one enclosure card, start with the largest and work your way down.

Step 5: Add a RSVP card and envelope

Place the RSVP envelope, printed side down, on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, face up. Pre-address and pre-stamp the reply envelope.

Step 6: Add finishing touches

If you are including a belly band, ribbon, or vellum wrap, assemble it now.

Step 7: Recipient addressing

Write the recipients' names and addresses on the outer envelopes. If using inner envelopes, write the guests' names on them.

Step 8: Insert the suite into the envelope

If using envelope liners, slide them into the envelopes first. Then, insert the fully assembled invitation suite, with the left edge going in first for a single card and the folded edge for a folded invitation. The text should be print-side up, visible when the flap is opened.

Step 9: Seal the envelope

Use an envelope moistener to wet the gummed edge and seal the envelopes. Place a heavy book on top to ensure they are securely sealed.

Step 10: Return address

Add address labels or rubber stamps to the envelopes.

Step 11: Mail

Bring a fully assembled set to the post office to weigh and stamp the invitations. Ask for them to be hand-cancelled to reduce the risk of damage.

Addressing the envelopes

Outer Envelope vs Inner Envelope:

Wedding invitations traditionally include an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed with the recipient's full name and title, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. Using two envelopes ensures that the inner envelope remains pristine and provides clarity on who is invited, such as plus-ones or children. However, using a single outer envelope is becoming increasingly popular due to simplicity and sustainability.

Addressing a Married Couple:

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name]." For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple prefers, both first names can be included: "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Last Name]." For couples with different last names, write out their full names with appropriate titles: "Ms. [Wife's First Name] [Wife's Last Name] and Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Husband's Last Name]."

Addressing an Unmarried Couple:

For unmarried couples living together, list both full names on one or two lines, with appropriate titles, starting with the person you are closest to: "Mr. [Guest 1 First Name] [Guest 1 Last Name] and Ms. [Guest 2 First Name] [Guest 2 Last Name]." If the couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

Addressing a Single Person:

For single persons, use the appropriate title ("Mr." for males, "Ms." for females, and "Mx." for non-binary guests) followed by their full name: "Mr. [Guest First Name] [Guest Last Name]." If a single person has a plus-one, include "and Guest" after their name.

Addressing a Family:

When inviting an entire family, the outer envelope can be addressed generally to "The [Family Last Name] Family" or specifically to "Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names] & Children." If you want to be more specific, list the children's names (in order of birth) separately after addressing the parents. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" as an honourific.

Addressing Guests with Distinguished Titles:

When addressing guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, use their titles on the outer envelope. For married doctors, address them as "The Doctors [Last Name]." If only one spouse is a doctor, list the doctor first: "Dr. [Doctor Spouse First Name] [Doctor Spouse Last Name] and Mr./Mrs. [Non-Doctor Spouse First Name] [Non-Doctor Spouse Last Name]." For other distinguished titles, list the person with the higher rank first.

Home Addresses:

Ensure that the guests' home addresses are correct and properly formatted. Avoid abbreviations for a more formal invitation. A formal address example would be: "Mr. and Mrs. John Corner, 16 Faux Road, Fremont, California 94539." For a more casual invitation, you can use standard abbreviations: "Mr. and Mrs. John Corner, 16 Faux Rd, Fremont, CA 94539."

Invitation etiquette

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to ensure that you have all the necessary components of a wedding invitation suite. This includes the invitation card itself, any enclosure cards such as reception cards, maps or accommodation details, and a stamped and addressed envelope for guests to send their RSVPs.

When assembling your invitations, it is traditional to place the invitation card at the bottom of the stack, with any additional cards placed face-up on top in size order, from largest to smallest. If you are including a RSVP card and envelope, place the envelope face-down on top of the stack, with the card tucked under the flap so that the printed side is visible.

When addressing your wedding invitations, it is important to use the correct titles and formats for your guests' names, depending on their relationship status and gender. For married couples with the same last name, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. However, it is becoming increasingly common to list both spouses' first and last names, especially for same-sex couples. For unmarried couples living together, list both names on one or two lines, with the person you are closest to first.

It is also important to consider whether to use inner and outer envelopes for your invitations. While inner envelopes are optional and less common nowadays, they can be useful for clarifying who is invited, such as plus-ones or children. The outer envelope is the one that is stamped and addressed, and it is important to ensure that this is done correctly to avoid any delays in delivery.

Finally, don't forget to give yourself enough time to assemble and send your invitations. It can be a time-consuming process, especially if you are adding extras like wax seals or belly bands. Aim to have your invitations ready to mail at least a week before your desired send-out date.

Invitation enclosures

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few key elements that should be included in the envelope along with the invite itself. Here's a step-by-step guide on what to include and how to assemble your invitations:

Step 1: Start with the invitation card

The invitation card is the largest card in the suite and serves as the foundation for the rest of the enclosures. Place it face-up on the table.

Step 2: Add a tissue paper or vellum overlay (optional)

Traditionally, a sheet of tissue paper was included to prevent the ink from smudging. If you wish to continue this tradition, place the tissue paper on top of the invitation card. Alternatively, you can use a vellum overlay, which is also popular.

Step 3: Add the reception card

If you are having a separate reception venue, include a reception card that outlines the time and location, as well as any important information such as the dress code. Place it face-up on top of the invitation card.

Step 4: Include other enclosure cards

Other enclosure cards such as a map, hotel accommodations card, travel information, or additional wedding-adjacent parties can be included. Place these face-up on top of the reception card, with the largest card at the bottom.

Step 5: Don't forget the RSVP card and envelope

The RSVP card and envelope are essential components of the invitation suite. Place the RSVP envelope face-down on top of the enclosure cards, with the flap on the left. Insert the reply card under the envelope flap, face-up, so that the printed side is visible. Pre-address and stamp the RSVP envelope to make it easier for your guests to respond.

Step 6: Assemble the invitation suite

If you are using an inner and outer envelope system, insert the fully assembled invitation suite into the inner envelope first, with the left edge going in first for a single card invitation, and the folded edge first for a folded invitation. The printed side of the invitation should be visible when the envelope flap is opened. Then, insert the inner envelope into the outer envelope.

If you are using only an outer envelope, insert the fully assembled invitation suite directly into the outer envelope, following the same guidelines for the left edge or folded edge.

Step 7: Add any final touches

At this point, you can add any final touches such as belly bands, ribbons, or wax seals to complete the look of your invitation suite.

Remember to give yourself enough time to assemble and stuff your wedding invitations, especially if you plan to include extra elements like wax seals or belly bands. It's also a good idea to create an assembly line to streamline the process and ensure that each invitation is properly assembled and stuffed.

Frequently asked questions