Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Naming The Female Guest

Wedding invitation wording and formatting can be a tricky business, with many nuances to consider. One such nuance is whether to include the female name on the invitation, and if so, in what format. Traditionally, invitations would be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, with the woman's name being lumped in with her husband's. However, this practice is now considered outdated, and it is more common to include the woman's name separately, as in Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith. This allows for both names to be included while still maintaining a formal tone.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".

However, this format has become increasingly outdated, as many modern women prefer to have their names included on the invitation rather than being lumped in with their husbands. In this case, you would write the outer envelope as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren", and the inner envelope as "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are addressing a more formal wedding invitation, it is best to stick to the traditional format of "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. However, for less formal weddings, you can include the wife's name to make it more modern.

Additionally, when addressing the envelope, it is preferable to keep both names on one line. If the names are too long, it is acceptable to list each name on a separate line using the conjunction "and".

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is recommended that their names are written on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately. Here is an example of how to format the outer and inner envelopes:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are equally close to both guests, you can also choose to list their names in alphabetical order. Additionally, if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive or exclusive for your guests, you can opt for a more modern approach by using only first and last names.

Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is typically more formal and includes titles, whereas the inner envelope is more informal and may include first names only.

For the outer envelope, the woman's name is typically listed first, followed by the man's name. The woman's title would be "Ms." and the man's title would be "Mr." For example: "Ms. Mary Smith-Jones and Mr. Michael Jones".

If the couple has the same hyphenated last name, the outer envelope could be addressed as: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jones-Smith".

For the inner envelope, you can simply use their first names, for example: "Mary and Michael". Alternatively, you can use their titles and surnames, for example: "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones".

It is important to note that the use of "Mrs." is not technically correct if a woman has chosen to hyphenate her last name. It is also worth considering the preference of the couple, as some may prefer a more modern approach without titles.

Unmarried Couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple, the wording depends on whether they live together or not. If the unmarried couple lives together, you have two options for how to format their names. You can either list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines:

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

Or, you can list both names on the same line, starting with the person you are closest to. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order:

Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the unmarried couple does not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest.

For the outer envelope, follow the above guidelines. For the inner envelope, use courtesy titles and last names or only first names if you are close with the couple:

Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross

Single Female

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single female, there are a few guidelines to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the guest's preferred title. If she is over the age of 18, use "Ms." If she is younger, use "Miss", which is acceptable for girls under 18. The title should be spelled out rather than abbreviated as an initial.

For the outer envelope, the format is:

> Ms. [Full Name]

> Or

> Miss [Full Name] (if she is younger than 18)

For the inner envelope, you can drop the formal title and use the guest's first name only, or continue with the title and last name:

> Ms./Miss [Full Name]

> Or

> [First Name]

If the single female guest has been given a plus-one, there is no need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply write the guest's name as you would without a plus-one. On the inner envelope, you can then add "and guest" or use the plus-one's name if you have that information.

For example:

> Outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen

> Inner envelope: Ms. Chen and guest

> Or

> Stephanie and guest

If you are unsure of the guest's preferred title, it is best to forgo the use of any title altogether.

Frequently asked questions