The Garter Toss: Wedding Tradition Or Passé?

do you have to do the garter at a wedding

The wedding garter tradition is a highly debated topic, with some couples revering it as a time-honoured custom and others finding it tacky, sexist, or downright grotesque. The tradition involves the groom removing the bride's garter—a thin band of elastic fabric that holds up her stockings—and tossing it into a crowd of single men. This ritual is said to symbolise good luck and is often seen as the groom's equivalent of the bride's bouquet toss. However, with changing attitudes and questionable origins, many modern couples are choosing to forego the garter toss entirely or modify it to suit their preferences. Ultimately, the decision to include the garter tradition in a wedding is entirely up to the couple, and there is no obligation to participate if they feel uncomfortable or prefer to set new traditions.

Characteristics Values
History of the tradition The garter toss tradition originated in the Dark Ages or medieval Europe when people believed that having a piece of the bride's dress was good luck.
Purpose The garter toss symbolises good luck for the person who catches it, and it also symbolises a bride's transition from maidenhood to married life.
Popularity Wedding garters are still a popular tradition, especially in the UK, but many couples choose not to include it in their weddings.
Customisation Couples can choose to modify the ritual to suit their preferences, such as having the bride hand the garter to the groom instead of having the groom remove it from under the bride's dress.
Cost Wedding garters can cost anywhere from $10 to $150, with an average price range of $20 to $40 for a basic design.
Style Modern wedding garters come in various styles, fabrics, and colours, with white, ivory, or blue being traditional colours.
Comfort and aesthetics Some people may choose not to wear a garter if they don't feel comfortable with it or don't like the style.
Tradition and values Some people may skip the garter toss if they find it old-fashioned, too gendered, embarrassing, or conflicting with their values.

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Wedding garter history

The wedding garter is a piece of bridal lingerie worn under a wedding dress on the upper thigh. It is generally made of lace and features an elastic band that holds it in place. In the past, garters served the purpose of holding up stockings on each leg. Today, they are worn for fashion rather than function, especially in the context of weddings.

The wedding garter toss, or garter throw, is a wedding tradition that takes place during the reception. It is said to be one of the oldest wedding traditions, dating back to the Dark Ages. After the wedding festivities, wedding guests would accompany the newlywed couple to their bedroom to ensure that they consummated their union. In those days, removing a garter and presenting it was a ploy to get some privacy and appease hopeful onlookers. It was also considered good luck for a guest to take home a piece of the bride's clothing. Over time, this wedding night ritual evolved into a wild romp where guests would tackle the bride, ripping off her clothes in the hope of getting a piece of her attire.

In a bid to class up weddings and get the audience out of the newlywed's bedroom, the wedding garter toss was eventually incorporated into the wedding reception. The bride's partner removes the garter from underneath her gown and tosses it into a crowd of male wedding guests. Whoever catches the garter is meant to put it on the woman who catches the bride's bouquet during the bouquet toss. This ritual is meant to symbolize good luck to the eligible bachelors in attendance.

Today, the garter toss is considered a fun but entirely optional reception activity. Many couples skip the garter toss as they find it old-fashioned, too gendered, and embarrassing to do in front of the family. However, some couples still embrace the tradition, seeing it as a cute and funny form of wedding entertainment.

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Garter toss alternatives

The garter toss is a time-honoured wedding tradition, but it is understandable if you feel uncomfortable with the custom and want to skip it or put a fresh spin on it. Here are some ideas for alternatives to the traditional garter toss:

Skip the Toss

You can choose to skip the garter toss altogether and not replace it with anything else. Many people have done this and found that their guests did not miss it. This gives more time for open dancing and mingling, and you can still have fun with other wedding traditions like the bouquet toss.

Anniversary Dance

For this alternative, all married couples are invited to the dance floor, and the DJ counts down how long each couple has been married. Couples sit down when they reach the number of years they have been married, and the last couple standing wins. This game can be played without any reference to the garter toss.

Toss Something Else

If you want to keep the spirit of the garter toss but are uncomfortable with the traditional version, you can substitute the garter for another throwable item. Some suggestions include:

  • Wedding favours like soft scarves or knitted items
  • A soft football or other light ball
  • A bouquet of dollar bills or lottery tickets
  • A box of your preferred alcohol
  • A custom t-shirt, launched from a t-shirt cannon or slingshot
  • A stuffed animal or doll representing a charity of your choice

Balloon Drop

Hide a garter or other prize in a balloon drop. You can have wedding guests pop the balloons to find the prize, or have the groom toss the balloon to the guests.

The Shoe Game

This game involves the bride and groom taking off their shoes and exchanging one shoe with each other. They then have to answer questions about their relationship, such as "Who is the better cook?" by holding up the shoe of the person they think the answer is. This game can be played by the couple themselves or by two volunteers, and it can be a fun way to involve the wedding party and break the ice.

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Garter styles and pricing

Wedding garters are generally made of lace and feature an elastic band to hold them in place. They are available in a variety of colours, with white being the most traditional, and blue being a common choice to fulfill the "something blue" custom. Garters can also be found in colours like gold, green, and pink lavender.

In terms of style, some garters feature delicate bows, appliqués, beading, rhinestones, or crystals. Garters with monogramming or personalisation are also available. For those seeking a luxurious option, there are garters made from velvet, silk, or chiffon. Additionally, there are unique garter options like a garter flask, which features a removable flask for a memorable touch.

The price of a wedding garter can vary depending on the brand, materials, embellishments, and design complexity. On average, a wedding garter costs around $20 to $40. However, prices can range from $10 to $150, or even higher for extremely ornate or luxury heirloom designs. For example, The Garter Girl offers heirloom garter designs starting at $155.

If you're looking for a more affordable option, there are garters available at various price points, with some options as low as $2.99 from Walmart. Etsy also offers a range of unique and personalised garters from various sellers, allowing you to find something special within your budget.

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Garter toss timing and setup

The garter toss is a wedding tradition that takes place during the reception. While there are no strict rules about the timing, most couples choose to do it after dinner, towards the end of the reception, and before the official send-off.

The setup involves the bride sitting in a chair, with the groom kneeling before her. The groom then ducks under the bride's gown to remove the garter from her leg using his hands or teeth and then tosses it into a crowd of male single wedding guests. The ritual can be made more playful with the groom dancing around and teasing the bride to build excitement.

There are variations to the traditional setup. For instance, the bride can discreetly pass the garter to the groom instead of having him reach under her dress. The couple may also choose to combine the garter and bouquet toss into one mixed-gender toss, or skip the garter toss altogether and opt for alternatives such as a limbo competition or a charity toss.

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Garter removal methods

The wedding garter toss is a tradition that is not for everyone. Some couples choose to skip it entirely, while others modify it to suit their preferences. Here are some methods for removing the garter in a classy and tasteful way:

  • The Traditional Method: In the traditional method, the bride sits in a chair while the groom kneels before her. The groom then ducks under the bride's gown to remove the garter from her leg using his hands or, in some cases, teeth. This method can be uncomfortable for some couples, especially in front of family and grandparents.
  • The Hand-Off: Instead of the groom fishing for the garter under the bride's dress, the bride can simply hand the garter to the groom, who then tosses it to the crowd. This method maintains the tradition while reducing potential awkwardness.
  • The Tossing Garter: If the bride wants to keep her garter as a memento, she can purchase a separate "tossing garter" specifically for the ritual. This garter can be removed in a variety of ways, including the traditional method or the hand-off.
  • The Pant Cuff Trick: To make the ritual less sexualized, the bride can wear the garter on the outside of her leg, tucked into her pant cuff. This adds a playful element to the removal process and reduces potential discomfort.
  • The Private Removal: If the couple prefers a more intimate approach, they can choose to remove the garter in private and then toss it to the crowd. This option respects the couple's privacy while still including the tradition in the celebration.
  • The Alternative Toss: For couples who want to avoid the garter altogether, they can opt for alternative tosses, such as tossing a bouquet, a bag of coffee beans, or other creative items that align with their interests.

Regardless of the method chosen, it is essential to communicate with your partner and ensure you are both comfortable with the process. The garter removal and toss should be a fun and lighthearted moment shared between the couple and their guests.

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Frequently asked questions

No, it is not mandatory to do the garter toss at your wedding. You can skip it entirely if you feel uncomfortable with the idea.

Some couples choose to skip the garter toss because they find it old-fashioned, too gendered, or too sensual and embarrassing to do in front of family.

Some alternatives to the traditional garter toss include:

- Using a separate "tossing garter"

- Handing the garter to your partner instead of having them find it under your dress

- Doing an Anniversary Dance to celebrate the married couples in attendance

The garter toss tradition originated in the Dark Ages when people believed that obtaining a piece of the bride's dress brought good luck. To prevent guests from ripping off parts of the bride's dress, the bride would toss her garter to the crowd.

The garter toss is meant to symbolise good luck for the eligible bachelors in attendance. It also symbolises a bride's transition from maidenhood to married life.

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