Deborah Chan
Dancing is a popular wedding reception activity, with many couples opting for traditional dances like the first dance, the parents' dance, the anniversary dance, and the money dance. However, not everyone enjoys dancing, and some couples may prefer to make their wedding reception a dance-free zone. While dancing can be a fun way to celebrate the newlyweds and create memorable moments, it's not for everyone. Some guests may feel insecure, uncomfortable, or simply prefer other forms of entertainment. Ultimately, the decision to include dancing at a wedding reception depends on the couple's preferences and their guests' expectations.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Necessity of dancing at a wedding reception | Dancing is not necessary at a wedding reception. However, it is a popular activity, and some consider it the focal point of the reception. |
| Types of dances | First dance, parent dances, anniversary dance, money dance, group dances, choreographed dances, etc. |
| Order of dances | The first dance often comes first, followed by the parent dances, then group dances. The money dance and anniversary dance are usually towards the end. |
| Dance duration | Dances are typically kept to a maximum of seven minutes. |
| Alternatives to dancing | Board games, garden games, karaoke, a wedding singer or band, etc. |
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What You'll Learn
The first dance
Some couples may feel awkward having everyone stand and watch them dance, so they invite other couples to join them on the dance floor after the first verse and chorus, or halfway through the dance, to ensure that no one is left out. The newlyweds may also choose to perform a choreographed routine or simply improvise, depending on their comfort level and style.
For Jewish weddings, the Hora, a lively circle dance, may directly follow the first dance. During this dance, the newlyweds and their parents are lifted on chairs and paraded around the dance floor while the guests dance in a circular line.
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Parent dances
Dancing is one of the most popular wedding reception activities. While it is not mandatory, it is a fun way to celebrate the newlyweds and make the event more meaningful.
The parent dances are a wedding event where the bride dances with her father, and the groom dances with his mother. These dances are commonly called the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance. The father-daughter dance is the original parent dance and the source of the tradition. The mother-son dance is a more recent tradition that gained popularity as a way to show appreciation for mothers and allow grooms to share a special moment with them.
The parent dances may take place at several points during the wedding reception, depending on the order of dances the couple wishes to follow. Sometimes, these dances occur immediately after the first dance. Other times, they take place towards the end of dinner, after the toasts, or after the cake-cutting.
For couples who are uncomfortable with the idea of dancing, there are alternatives to the traditional parent dances. Some couples may choose to combine the father-daughter and mother-son dances into one event, allowing them to save time and avoid being the centre of attention for too long. This combined dance can be performed with other guests already on the dance floor, creating a smooth transition.
Additionally, couples may wish to honour other important parental figures, such as stepparents or grandparents. In LGBTQIA+ weddings, the parent dances can be adapted to fit the unique dynamics of the couple and their families.
For those who want to make their parent dances extra special, hiring a dancing coach to choreograph a custom routine is an option. This adds a memorable touch to the celebration and can be a fun way to spend quality time with parents before the big day.
The parent dances are a heartwarming tradition that celebrates the love and bond between children and their parents. Whether performed separately or together, with traditional or chosen family, these dances are a beautiful way to honour and include parents in the wedding celebration.
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The anniversary dance
All married couples are invited to the dance floor to share a dance with the newlyweds, usually to a slow, romantic song. The anniversary dance works best if there are many guests who have been married for a long time. Once the dance floor is full, the DJ will politely ask couples (except the newlyweds) who have been married the shortest amount of time to leave the dance floor. The DJ will then continue to ask other couples to leave the dance floor in increments of time (five years, ten years, etc.) until only the couple married for the longest remains.
The newlyweds will be left dancing with the couple married the longest, who are usually the grandparents. The longest-married couple may receive the bouquet or a round of applause from the wedding guests. The anniversary dance can also be used as an alternative to the garter and bouquet toss, with the bouquet being presented to the longest-married couple instead.
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The money dance
In Poland, the money dance is done near the end of the reception, with an announcement that guests have the chance to dance with the bride but must place a small amount of money into an apron worn by the father of the bride, maid of honor, or another close female relative. A band plays upbeat polka music, and the bride starts the apron tradition by dancing with her father as guests dance in a circle around them. After each guest finishes dancing with the bride, they are offered a shot from a tray as a reward for their monetary contribution. The groom waits outside the dancing circle until every guest has danced with the bride, and then he attempts to break the circle to retrieve his bride and start their new life together.
In the Philippines, the money dance varies by region or province. In Samar, for example, they have the Kuratsa dance, where couples are “showered” with money instead of having it pinned to their clothing. In other regions, men line up in front of the bride, pin money to her dress or veil, and then dance with her. The same sequence occurs with the groom; women line up in front of him, pin money to his clothing, and then dance with him.
In Nigeria, the money dance is known as money spraying, symbolizing a showering of happiness, good fortune, and a display of the guests' affection for the couple. The bride and groom are ushered in and dance behind the wedding party while guests encircle them on the dance floor and come forward to place bills on the couple's forehead or side of their chest, allowing the money to "rain down." Collectors take the cash from the floor and place it in bags for the couple.
In the United States, the money dance tradition varies by region and cultural background. In Louisiana, for example, Cajun weddings typically include the money dance, where guests will pin money to the bride's veil or the groom's suit during a lively Cajun dance. In Greek-American communities, the modern version of the money dance involves guests showering the newlyweds with money, usually one-dollar bills, while they dance or walk from table to table greeting their guests.
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Alternatives to dancing
Dancing is a popular activity at wedding receptions, but it's not for everyone. If you're looking for alternatives to dancing at your wedding reception, here are some ideas to consider:
Games and activities
Setting up lawn games or board games can be a great way to keep guests entertained and encourage mingling. Games like corn hole, giant Jenga, bocce ball, ring toss, and horseshoes are interactive and fun for guests of all ages. You could also set up a mini-golf course or an obstacle course at your venue. For indoor receptions, card games, chess/checkers boards, or board game classics can be a hit.
Casino-themed entertainment
Bring a touch of Las Vegas to your reception with rented blackjack, roulette, poker, or craps tables. Instead of real money, guests can play with chips that can be exchanged for fun prizes. Combine this with cigar rolling, whiskey tastings, and professionally dressed dealers for a sophisticated and entertaining atmosphere.
Karaoke
Karaoke is an unexpected but engaging activity for wedding receptions. You can hire a live band to accompany guests as they sing along, creating a unique and memorable experience.
Lounge spaces
Create dedicated lounge spaces with comfortable seating arrangements to encourage guests to relax, mingle, and have meaningful conversations. Adding dessert or appetizer trays with personal touches, such as family recipes, can be excellent conversation starters.
Performers
From aerialists pouring Prosecco to mermaids swimming in pools, hiring performers can create a "wow" factor at your wedding. These unexpected elements can surprise and delight your guests, making your reception unforgettable.
Remember, you can also mix and match these ideas to create a unique and personalized experience that reflects your personality and venue.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not. While dancing is a popular wedding reception activity, it is not mandatory. Some couples opt to have a wedding reception without dancing.
There are several alternatives to dancing at a wedding reception. Some couples choose to have lawn games, board games, or karaoke. Other couples choose to have a wedding singer or band playing in the background while guests socialise and eat.
There are several traditional dances at a wedding reception, including the first dance, the parents' dance, the anniversary dance, and the money dance. The first dance is performed by the couple, the parents' dance is performed by the newlyweds and their respective parents, and the anniversary dance includes the longest-married couple in attendance or all couples married over a specified number of years. The money dance involves guests offering the new couple money to dance with them.
The order of dances at a wedding reception is typically as follows: the first dance, the parents' dance, the anniversary dance, and the money dance. The first dance usually starts the reception, and the money dance is often performed towards the end of the reception. The last dance is saved for when the reception is ending, with the song chosen depending on the mood and whether there is an after-party.
