Bridesmaids: Civil Ceremony Tradition Or Not?

A civil ceremony is a non-religious, legal marriage ceremony. It is presided over by a legal official, such as a registrar, judge, or magistrate, and is recognised in all 50 states. While civil ceremonies are typically more flexible in terms of structure and content, there are certain legal declarations and contracting statements that must be made for the marriage to be valid. This includes the presence of two witnesses over the age of 16.

Bridesmaids are members of the bridal party who have a long list of responsibilities before and during the wedding. They are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, provide emotional support to the bride, and help with various wedding planning tasks. During the ceremony, bridesmaids traditionally walk down the aisle and stand next to the bride, but they may also be seated, particularly in religious ceremonies.

Bridesmaids' attire

When it comes to bridesmaids' attire for a civil ceremony, there are no hard and fast rules, and you can choose an outfit that aligns with your personal style and the overall aesthetic of your wedding. Here are some ideas and considerations to help you make a decision:

Colour

For civil ceremonies, bridesmaids often opt for traditional colours such as white, off-white, or cream. However, there is no need to limit yourself to these shades. You can choose any colour that speaks to you, including off-white, floral patterns, or any other hue that complements your wedding theme.

Style

The style of bridesmaids' dresses can vary depending on your preferences. Some popular options include mini dresses, lace dresses, whimsical gowns, long gowns, or even jumpsuits. The key is to choose a style that you and your bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident in.

Season

Consider the season of your civil ceremony when selecting the attire. For winter weddings, long sleeves and warmer fabrics are ideal. You can also add accessories like dreamy veils, dainty headbands, and chic clutches to keep your bridesmaids warm and stylish. For summer weddings, opt for lighter fabrics such as cotton or linen in crisp white or floral prints.

Formality

Civil ceremonies can range from casual to formal affairs, and this will impact the attire. If you're having a more casual ceremony, mini dresses, blazer dresses, or suits might be appropriate. For a more formal event, you can go for calf-length or floor-length gowns.

Accessories

Accessories can elevate your bridesmaids' attire and complete their look. Consider adding accessories such as veils, headpieces, clutches, or classic pumps. You can also incorporate bridal elements like bold earrings, glitzy stilettos, or other statement jewellery pieces.

Comfort and Fit

Ensure that the attire you choose for your bridesmaids is comfortable and fits well. Consider the weather, the venue, and the duration of the ceremony and reception. You want your bridesmaids to feel confident and at ease throughout the day.

Personalisation

Add a personal touch to your bridesmaids' attire to make it even more special. This could include customised jewellery, shoes, or other accessories that reflect their unique style or your relationship with them.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose an outfit that makes your bridesmaids feel beautiful and confident as they stand by your side on your special day.

Bridal shower

A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in the months leading up to her wedding. It is a chance for her loved ones to gather and celebrate the bride ahead of her nuptials, play games, give advice, and gift her essentials she'll need to start married life. The name "bridal shower" comes from the custom of giving gifts to the bride that would help her set up her new home.

History

The tradition of the bridal shower dates back to the Victorian era when English colonists brought it to America. However, the earliest stories about these events originate in Brussels, Belgium, around 1860. A frequently quoted legend traces the origin of this practice to 16th- or 17th-century Netherlands. In the United States, bridal showers started in urban areas in the 1890s among the upper middle classes and spread to rural America by the 1930s.

Etiquette

Activities

A bridal shower typically involves food, drinks, games, and an opportunity for the bride to open gifts. Games and activities can include gift bingo, designing wedding dresses using toilet paper, a spa day, or a calligraphy lesson.

Gifts

Guests are expected to bring small gifts for the bride and her future spouse, such as dishes, pots and pans, appliances, decor, or lingerie. The bride usually opens her gifts in front of the guests and expresses her gratitude with a short speech.

Bachelorette party

Planning a bachelorette party can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be! Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable bachelorette party:

Pre-Bachelorette Party Prep (6+ Months Out)

First, consult with the bride to determine whether she wants a local or destination celebration. While destination bachelorette parties are becoming more common, they may not be suitable for every bride. Consider factors such as the bride's personal preference, travel and lodging costs, the guest list, and any other relevant factors. If the bride chooses a destination celebration, work with her to select a location that fits her personality and the overall budget.

Book Lodging and/or Travel

Once you've decided on the date and location, start looking into travel options and accommodations. For destination bachelorette parties, round-trip flights are usually required. It's helpful to keep everyone on the same page regarding flight times and prices to ensure the group can travel together and share costs evenly. Consider renting a home through Airbnb or VRBO, as these options are often cheaper and allow the group to stay together.

Big Picture Basics (4-6 Weeks Before)

Research the destination to find fun activities, attractions, restaurants, and bars. As the maid of honor or party planner, it's a nice touch to create a basic itinerary with a mix of dining options, nightlife spots, and other activities to keep the group entertained. Look for bars within walking distance of your accommodations to save on transportation costs, and consider clubs with free entry to avoid cover charges. Don't forget to include some games or activities for downtime or getting ready for a night out.

Decide on Matching Attire

Coordinated clothing is a fun and modern touch for any bachelorette party. Talk with the bride and decide on outfits in advance so the bridal party knows what to pack. A common option is for the bride to wear white, while her bridesmaids wear black, usually for a fancy dinner and night out. Another trend is for the bride and her bridesmaids to wear matching printed clothing during the day.

Final Few To-Dos (Week of and Day Before)

Start a shared photo folder to easily collect and access all the photos taken during the bachelorette weekend. Also, create a packing list to ensure you have everything you need for the trip. If you're bringing decorations or goodies, consider splitting these items with other members of the bridal party to save space and weight in your luggage.

Enjoy the Party!

Remember to drink plenty of water, eat well, and take lots of pictures!

Pre-wedding events

There are several pre-wedding events that you can choose to host. Here is a list of some common pre-wedding events:

Engagement Party

This is usually one of the first pre-wedding celebrations, where you officially announce your upcoming marriage to your relatives and friends. It is often held at the host's home, a favourite restaurant, or a special venue. It usually takes place about three months after the engagement, and invitations should be sent at least a month in advance.

Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower

A bridal shower is a traditional women-only celebration, while a wedding shower (also known as a couple's shower or Jack and Jill party) is an event for both the bride and groom. During a bridal shower, guests usually bring gifts and enjoy food and games. A wedding shower is similar, but it allows the groom and his family and friends to attend. These showers usually take place between a few weeks to three months before the wedding.

Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

These are a chance for the bride and groom to celebrate with their friends, usually about a month or two before the wedding. They can be wild nights out, but nowadays they often reflect the guest of honour's personality and can include activities such as spa visits, cooking classes, or outdoor adventures.

Bridesmaids Luncheon

A bridesmaids luncheon is a small gathering hosted by the bride to thank the bridal party for their help during the wedding planning process and to give them gifts. It usually takes place a few days before the wedding, after all the bridal party members have arrived, and before the rehearsal dinner.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a gathering for the wedding party and families to get acquainted with each other. It is usually held the night before the wedding, although some couples choose to have it two nights before to give everyone a chance to rest before the big day. It is a more relaxed event than the actual wedding, and it is an opportunity for gift-giving and speeches.

Welcome Party

The welcome party is the final event before the wedding and is open to all wedding guests, although their attendance is not required. It is a chance for out-of-town guests to mingle and get to know each other.

Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

A rehearsal dinner is a traditional pre-wedding event in the United States, usually held after the wedding rehearsal and the night before the wedding ceremony. It is an opportunity for the couple to spend quality time with their loved ones and for both families to unite and kick off the wedding weekend. It is also a chance for relatives and friends of the couple to meet and get to know each other.

The guest list for the rehearsal dinner is usually limited to the wedding party and their significant others, the officiant and their plus-one, the parents, step-parents, and grandparents of the couple, and any siblings who are not in the wedding party. The couple's children from a previous marriage may also be invited, as well as the parents of young attendants such as a flower girl or ring bearer.

The rehearsal dinner is typically hosted and paid for by the groom's parents. However, modern traditions allow for either the bride's or the groom's parents to incur these costs, or for the couple themselves to host and pay. The dinner can be held at a restaurant, a private club, a banquet room, or even a catered event in a private home.

The dinner is usually highlighted by toasts from the couple, the maid of honour, and the best man, and it is also an opportunity for the couple to present gifts to the wedding party. The rehearsal dinner is meant to be a relaxed event, with the focus on celebrating the couple and the joining of the two families.

Frequently asked questions