George Boyle
While flower girls are traditionally children, there is a growing trend of adult flower girls at weddings. The role of an adult flower girl is usually given to someone who is already in the wedding party, such as a bridesmaid or groomsman, or a close friend or family member who isn't part of the wedding party. Some couples choose to have their grandmothers serve as flower girls, while others opt for a flower boy or even a furry friend. The adult flower girl can wear a floral accessory, such as a flower crown or lei, to stand out from the rest of the bridal party. While some people find the idea of an adult flower girl strange or insulting, others find it humorous and a fun twist on traditional wedding roles.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Age | Flower girls are typically children under the age of nine, but there is a growing trend of adult flower girls. |
| Role | The flower girl is usually a member of the bridal party, walking down the aisle before the bride and throwing flower petals. |
| Attire | If the adult flower girl is part of the wedding party, they should wear the chosen attire with floral accessories. If not, they can choose their own attire in the wedding colors. |
| Etiquette | Having an adult flower girl is considered unexpected and humorous, and some adults may take offense to being offered a role usually given to children. It is important to ask the person if they are comfortable with the role. |
| Alternatives | If there are no children available or suitable for the role, alternatives include having a flower boy, a petal patrol of adults, or even a pet. |
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What You'll Learn
The role of an adult flower girl
The role of a flower girl is traditionally filled by a child, typically under the age of nine. However, there has been a growing trend of adults taking on this role at weddings. An adult flower girl is usually a member of the bridal party and may be chosen if there are no children in the couple's life who can take on the role.
When it comes to attire, if the adult flower girl is already part of the bridal party, she should wear the chosen wedding party attire but can accessorise with a flower crown, lei, or other floral accessories. If she is not already part of the bridal party, she can choose her own attire in the wedding colours. It is recommended to work together with the adult flower girl to decide what she will carry down the aisle, as some may prefer to carry a traditional basket of flower petals, while others may opt for confetti, balloons, or even hiding the petals in their pockets to surprise guests during the processional.
It is important to note that some adults may take offence at being offered a role typically reserved for children, while others may eagerly embrace it. It is suggested to approach the topic hypothetically with the intended adult flower girl and give them the option to volunteer or decline the role.
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Appropriateness and etiquette
The role of a flower girl is traditionally filled by a child, often a relative or the child of a close friend, who walks down the aisle before the bride, scattering flower petals. The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where flower girls carried wheat and herbs, symbolising hope and fertility for the newlyweds.
However, there is a growing trend of adult flower girls, guys or "flower dudes", who perform the same role. This trend is often chosen by couples who want to include a special person in their wedding, but do not have any suitable children in their lives to take on the role.
Some people may find the idea of an adult flower girl unusual, and even insulting, as it is a role traditionally reserved for children. If you are considering an adult flower girl, it is important to handle the situation with care and good etiquette.
Firstly, it is essential to ask the person if they are comfortable with the idea. Do not assume they will be happy to take on the role, as some adults may find it infantilising or strange. Have a conversation with them to gauge their interest and comfort level. It is also a good idea to offer them alternatives, such as being a bridesmaid, usher, or performing a reading, so they have options and do not feel pressured into accepting the flower girl role.
If your adult flower girl is already in the wedding party, they can wear their chosen attire with floral accessories, such as a flower crown or lei. If they are not part of the bridal party, let them choose their own attire in the wedding colours so they feel included.
Finally, work with your adult flower girl to decide what they will carry down the aisle. Some may want to embrace tradition and carry a basket of petals, while others may prefer to toss confetti, carry balloons, or surprise guests by pulling petals from their pockets.
Ultimately, the decision to include an adult flower girl is a personal one, and it is your wedding, so you should do what feels right for you and your partner.
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Choosing attire
The role of an adult flower girl is usually taken up by a close friend or family member who is not part of the wedding party. If your adult flower girl is already a bridesmaid or groomsman, they should wear their chosen wedding party attire, but with a floral accessory like a flower crown or lei to help them stand out.
If your adult flower girl is not part of the wedding party, they should choose their own attire in the wedding colours. This could be a short and fun dress, or something that makes them feel comfortable and confident. For example, a plus-size adult flower girl might prefer a light blue dress, rather than a typical long bridesmaid dress.
If you are having a grandmother as your flower girl, let her wear whatever she feels most comfortable in. She could walk down the aisle escorted by a family member, or toss petals as a "Flower Grandma".
The role of an adult flower girl is usually a surprise for guests, eliciting smiles and laughter. It is a simple role, where the flower girl walks down the aisle before the bride, scattering petals.
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Asking loved ones to be adult flower girls
If you are considering asking a loved one to be an adult flower girl, it is recommended to first talk to them about it hypothetically. You could say something like, "I think having an adult flower girl at the ceremony, what do you think about that idea?" If they are keen on the idea, they may even volunteer. However, if they are against it, it is best to move on and respect their decision.
It is generally safer to ask someone who is already in the wedding party to be an adult flower girl. This is because those who are not part of the wedding party may feel pressured to accept a role they might find insulting, just so they can be included in the inner circle. If you are asking someone who is not in the wedding party, be mindful that they may feel uncomfortable being in the spotlight.
When asking a grandparent to be a flower girl, it is important to give them options and not be forceful. For example, they could walk down the aisle escorted by a family member or toss petals as a "Flower Grandma". It is also a good idea to show them photos or videos of grandmothers serving as flower girls at other weddings so they can visualize what the role entails. Keep in mind that they may not love the idea or may find it too non-traditional, so be prepared to accept their decision if they reject it.
If your adult flower girl is already part of the wedding party, they can accessorize their chosen wedding attire with a flower crown, lei, or other floral accessories to help them stand out. If your adult flower girl is not part of the bridal party, let them choose their own attire in the wedding colors so they feel included. It is also a good idea to work together with your adult flower girl to decide what they will carry down the aisle. Some may want to carry a traditional basket of flower petals, while others may prefer to toss confetti, carry balloons, or surprise guests by pulling flower petals out of their pockets during the processional.
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Alternatives to the term 'flower girl'
The role of a flower girl is largely symbolic, representing the bride's innocence and purity and the couple's hope and fertility for the future. While the role is usually taken on by a young family member or close friend of the bride or groom, some couples are choosing to appoint adult flower girls, flower boys, or gender-neutral flower children.
- Flower Woman/Lady: This alternative is a simple way to acknowledge the age of the participant while maintaining the traditional title.
- Flower Maid/Maiden: This term is a more whimsical take on the traditional title, adding a sense of fantasy and charm to the role.
- Petal patrol: This option is perfect for a group of adults or children who want to join the procession. It's a fun and lighthearted take on the flower girl tradition.
- Keeper of the Ring/Rings: This title is a creative way to combine the roles of the flower girl and ring bearer, usually carried out by children. It adds an element of fantasy and symbolism, with the potential for powerful imagery.
- Basket Bearers: This alternative draws on the ancient Roman tradition where young women carried baskets filled with wheat, grains, and fertility herbs. It is a gender-neutral option that can be adapted to fit your wedding theme, such as carrying pinecones for a winter wedding.
- Flower Grandmas: A heartwarming alternative, this role is usually taken on by the grandmothers of the couple. They can choose to walk down the aisle escorted by a family member or toss petals as a "Flower Grandma." This option is a sweet and special way to include grandmothers in the ceremony.
Remember, the role of a flower girl is optional and can be adapted to fit your wedding's unique style and theme. These alternatives offer a range of creative and inclusive ways to involve your loved ones in your special day.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not common to have an adult flower girl at a wedding. Flower girls are typically children under the age of nine. However, there is a growing trend of adult flower girls, guys or people, also known as "flower dudes" or "flower men".
Couples might choose to have an adult flower girl if there are no children in their life who can take on the role. Some couples also opt to have their grandmothers serve as flower girls, to give them a special role in the ceremony.
It is important to ask the person if they are interested in the role, rather than assuming they will take on the role. Some adults may find it offensive to be handed a role usually reserved for children, while others may love the idea.
If the adult flower girl is already in the wedding party, they should wear their chosen wedding party attire, but can accessorise with a floral accessory. If the adult flower girl is not a member of the wedding party, they should choose their own attire in the wedding colours.
