Junior Rasmussen
The tradition of giving away the bride is a common part of many wedding ceremonies. Typically, the person accompanying the bride (usually her father) to the altar is asked a question along the lines of who gives this woman to be married to this man?, to which they respond, I do. However, this tradition has come under scrutiny for its roots in the notion of women being the property of men. As a result, modern weddings have seen a shift towards alternative wordings or the exclusion of the phrase altogether, with couples choosing to emphasise the bride's independence or include both parents in the ritual.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Part of wedding | Traditional |
| Who does it involve | Bride, Father/Parent(s)/Guardian, Groom |
| When does it happen | At the beginning of the ceremony, after the processional |
| Alternatives | "Who gives this bride's hand in marriage", "Who gives this bride/woman away", "Who raised this woman", "Who raised this child", "Who is making the sacred and beautiful decision to marry this man", "Who presents this woman to be married", "Who supports this marriage" |
| Who says it | Wedding officiant |
| Necessity | Not necessary |
Explore related products
What You'll Learn
Alternatives to the traditional phrasing
The traditional phrasing of "do you hand this woman over to this man" is derived from a time when women were considered property, and their fathers would transfer ownership to the groom. Nowadays, couples often seek alternatives to this phrasing to avoid the sexist connotations.
Include Both Parents
Instead of addressing just the bride's father, you can include both of her parents by asking, "James and Peggy, do you support Sarah's wedding to John today?" This option is especially relevant if both parents accompany the bride down the aisle.
Skip the Verbal Question
In three-quarters of weddings, the bride simply walks down the aisle to processional music without any verbal interruption. This option avoids the need for any potentially awkward phrasing.
Walk Down the Aisle with Partner
Some couples choose to forgo the tradition of being "given away" altogether. Instead, the couple walks down the aisle together, symbolizing their equality and unity from the outset.
Mingle with Guests
Another option is for the couple to mingle with their guests at the beginning of the night and then walk together with their guests to the ceremony location. This approach creates a more informal and inclusive atmosphere.
Cultural Traditions
Couples can draw on cultural traditions to create meaningful alternatives. For example, in Celtic culture, the bride and groom tie knots of cloth around their hands during the ceremony. Other cultural traditions include "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" or eloping, which is popular in Scotland.
Ultimately, the choice of phrasing should reflect the couple's beliefs and the message they want to convey to their guests.
Moon River: Perfect Wedding Song Choice?
You may want to see also
Explore related products
The history of the tradition
The tradition of "giving away the bride" is a long-standing one, typically performed at the beginning of the wedding ceremony. In the past, a man's "property" would be transferred from her father to her new husband. This is represented by the father walking his daughter down the aisle and "giving her away" to the groom.
The tradition has evolved, and in modern weddings, the bride can be given away by anyone with whom the couple has a close relationship and feels comfortable. This can include either parent, a step-parent, a sibling, grandparent, or close friend. Some couples choose to walk down the aisle together, or with both sets of parents, and some couples opt to skip the tradition altogether.
The wording of the tradition has also evolved. The traditional phrasing of "who gives this woman to be married to this man" is now often seen as outdated and offensive, with some couples opting for alternatives such as "who is making the sacred and beautiful decision to marry this man", "who raised this woman", or "who presents this woman to be married".
The tradition is usually followed by a handshake or hug between the father of the bride and the groom, and the couple then moves into place, often to music.
Wedding Party Entrance: Choosing the Right Number of Songs
You may want to see also
Explore related products
The role of the officiant
> Will you have this man/woman from this day forward to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together (in God’s love) in the sacred state of matrimony? Do you promise to love her/him, comfort her/him, honour and cherish her/him, in sickness and health, in trying times and smooth, in lean times and full, all the days of your lives? If so, say, “I do.”
In more traditional weddings, the officiant may also ask the person accompanying the bride, typically the father, "Who gives this woman (the bride) to this man (the groom) today?". The father would then respond with "I do". However, this tradition is considered outdated by some as it originates from a time when women were viewed as the property of men, and so many couples choose to forgo this part of the ceremony.
Instead, the officiant may ask the couple's parents if they support the marriage or welcome the couple into their family. For example, "James and Peggy, do you support Sarah's wedding to John today?". Alternatively, the officiant may ask the guests to welcome and support the couple, such as "Do you, the family and friends of the bride and groom, welcome and support their union?".
Missouri Wedding Rules: What You Need to Know
You may want to see also
Explore related products
The role of the bride's escort
The escort's role is to accompany the bride to the front of the ceremony venue, where they will be met by the officiant. At this point, the officiant may ask a question such as, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?", to which the escort would traditionally respond, "I do". However, this traditional wording is now often considered outdated, and alternatives such as "Who gives this bride's hand in marriage?" or simply skipping the phrase altogether are becoming more common.
In some cultures and religious ceremonies, the bride's escort may also have additional roles. For example, in a Hindu wedding, the bride's parents may escort the groom to the mandap, where the ceremony takes place. In Christian weddings, the groom may be escorted by the officiant, best man, or groomsmen, either from the side or down the aisle.
Ultimately, the role of the bride's escort is to support the couple and ensure that the bride feels comfortable and happy on her wedding day. The couple should choose an escort who is meaningful to them and decide together what role they will play in the ceremony.
Disney Wedding Songs: When You Wish Upon a Star
You may want to see also
Explore related products
The bride's arrival plan
The "giving away the bride" tradition is usually performed at the beginning of the ceremony at the end of the processional. The person accompanying the bride would traditionally be her father or a male benefactor, but in modern weddings, it can be anybody. The most important consideration is that the couple trusts the person and feels comfortable with them.
If you want to stick to tradition, the wedding officiant can ask, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man today?" or some variation of it, such as "Who gives this bride's hand in marriage?" or "Who gives this woman away?". The accompanying person or people would then respond, "I do."
However, many couples now prefer to modernise this tradition or do away with it altogether. Here are some alternative suggestions for the bride's arrival plan:
- Skip the walking down the aisle part altogether. Mingle with the guests at the beginning of the night and then walk over to the ceremony location together with your guests.
- Walk down the aisle alone or with your partner.
- Ask "who raised this woman/who raised this strong/kind/smart woman" and have the parents stand and say, "we did".
- Have the officiant ask "who is making the sacred and beautiful decision to marry this man" to which the bride responds, "I am".
- Ask "who presents this woman to be married" instead of "who gives this woman".
- Have the bride's parents walk her down the aisle, but without the "giving away" language.
- Have both sets of parents escort their child down the aisle, and ask the parents if they accept the bride/groom into their family.
- Ask the family and friends of the bride and groom to welcome and support the couple and respond with "we will".
Ties for Weddings: Necessary or Not?
You may want to see also
Frequently asked questions
The tradition of giving away the bride comes from a time when women were considered property and their fathers would transfer ownership of them from themselves to the new husband.
No, it is not mandatory. In fact, some couples choose to skip this part of the ceremony altogether or replace it with an alternative.
Some alternatives include: "Who is making the sacred and beautiful decision to marry this man?", "Who raised this woman?", or addressing the bride's escort directly, e.g., "James and Peggy, do you support Sarah's wedding to John today?".
In traditional weddings, it is usually the father who gives the bride away. However, in modern weddings, it can be anyone the couple trusts and feels comfortable with, such as a parent, sibling, grandparent, or close friend.
