Personal Attendants And Bridesmaids: Gifts And Gratitude

A personal attendant is a less common wedding role that involves taking care of the bride and, at times, the rest of the bridal party. They are the bride's personal assistant, helper, and stylist, and their responsibilities include helping the bride get dressed, rounding up family members for photos, running last-minute errands, carrying the bride's essentials, and making sure the wedding couple and bridal party are well-fed.

While it is customary for bridesmaids to give the bride a gift, the same is not expected of personal attendants. However, some brides may choose to give their personal attendants a gift as a token of appreciation. This gift can be something unrelated to the wedding experience or something that pamper's and treats their personal attendant. The average amount spent on a bridal party gift is $75 to $100 per person, but it is perfectly fine to spend less or more depending on your budget.

Should personal attendants be given bridesmaid dresses to wear?

A personal attendant is a less common wedding role, but one that can be highly useful. Their main purpose is to take care of the bride and sometimes the rest of the bridal party, too. This includes helping the bride get dressed, keeping the bridal party on schedule, and running any last-minute errands.

There are a few different options for what a personal attendant can wear, depending on the bride's preference and the level of involvement she wants from her attendant. One option is to have the personal attendant wear a bridesmaid dress, which can help everything look cohesive and make the attendant stand out from the other guests. If the bride wants her personal attendant to be included in the bridal party, it makes sense to coordinate her dress with the bridesmaids. This could mean wearing a matching dress in a different colour, or the same colour in a different style.

However, if the bride doesn't want her personal attendant to be included in the bridal party photos, she can ask her to wear a specific colour from the wedding colour palette, or simply request that she adheres to the dress code.

Ultimately, it is up to the bride whether or not her personal attendant wears a bridesmaid dress. If the bride wants her personal attendant to be included in the bridal party and stand out from the other guests, then it makes sense to put her in a bridesmaid dress. However, if the bride doesn't want her personal attendant to be included in the bridal party photos, she can choose one of the other options outlined above.

What are the responsibilities of a personal attendant?

A personal attendant, also known as a bridal concierge, personal concierge, bridal assistant, or lady in waiting, is a paid professional hired to take care of a bride or groom's personal needs on the morning of their wedding. They do not assist in event or vendor coordination.

• Keep the bridal party on schedule and organised
• Act as a personal messenger
• Be a shoulder to cry on
• Help with last-minute errands
• Transport dresses
• Be the keeper of the emergency kit
• Act as a buffer in uncomfortable situations
• Be a voice of reason
• Maintain the bride's hair and makeup
• Manage the day's details, such as the catering schedule and the DJ
• Hold the wedding dress in the bathroom
• Watch the setup and take down of the event
• Keep the bridal party sane
• Bring water, coffee, tea, champagne, and snacks to the bridal party while they get ready
• Steam the wedding dress, veil, and bridesmaid dresses
• Hang the wedding dress in a visually appealing place for photographs
• Prep and style bridal accessories for photographs
• Pick up breakfast or lunch orders
• Come prepared with an emergency kit that includes common medicines, breath mints, first aid supplies, straws, a sewing kit, and more
• Facilitate the wedding-day gift exchange between the couple
• Steam and prep clothing for the groom and groomsmen
• Help the bride put on the wedding dress
• Travel with the bride to the first look and ensure her dress and veil are styled for photographs
• Provide minor makeup and hair touch-ups between photographs during the first look
• Pack up belongings and tidy up the bridal suite
• Handle fashion emergencies, such as broken dress straps or missing buttons
• Distribute tips to other vendors
• Bustle the wedding dress before cocktail hour
• Assist in changing into a second reception dress

Some people view the role of a personal attendant as an honour, while others see it as an insulting position that equates to a free servant. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide whether they are comfortable taking on the responsibilities of a personal attendant.

What are some gift ideas for bridesmaids?

Being a bridesmaid is a big honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. As well as attending the wedding, bridesmaids are usually expected to go to several pre-wedding celebrations and help the bride get ready for the big day. So, what are some gift ideas to show your appreciation for their time and support?

When to Give a Gift

Firstly, it's important to note that there are no strict rules on when to give a gift to your bridesmaids. Some brides give a small gift when they "propose" to their bridesmaids at the beginning of the wedding planning process. It's also common to give a gift on the wedding day as a thank you for their participation. You could also give a gift at both times!

How Much to Spend

There is no "must-spend" amount when it comes to bridesmaid gifts, but the national average is between $75 to $100. If you're on a tight budget, a small gift to show your appreciation will always be welcomed.

Gift Ideas

• Mini bottles of champagne or their favourite beverage
• Beauty products, such as lip gloss or an eyeshadow palette
• Loungewear or beachwear
• A candle in their favourite scent
• Personalised bridesmaid bags (e.g. a toiletries bag, travel bag, or beach bag)
• Monogrammed champagne flutes
• Experience-based presents, such as a trip to their favourite nail salon or wine bar
• Gifts that cancel out wedding-related expenses, such as covering the cost of their hair and makeup for the wedding
• Relaxation kits or homemade treats
• A thoughtfully written thank-you note

How much should you budget for bridesmaid gifts?

While there is no "must-spend" amount when it comes to bridesmaid gifts, it is still recommended to give your bridesmaids a gift to show your appreciation for their time, energy, and personal expenses. According to national averages and expert opinions, brides should budget between $50 to $120 per bridesmaid. However, it is important to consider your relationship with your bridesmaids and your overall wedding budget when determining how much to spend.

• Relationship with your bridesmaids: While it is generally recommended to keep gifts fair and uniform, you may want to spend a little extra on your maid of honor or a bridesmaid who has taken on additional responsibilities.
• Wedding budget: Bridesmaid gifts should be factored into your overarching wedding budget. Treat them like any other wedding-related expense, such as flowers or cake.
• Bridesmaid costs: Consider the costs incurred by your bridesmaids, such as the dress, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, and travel expenses. You may want to provide relief for some of these costs through your gift.
• Number of gifts: Decide how many gifts you plan to give your bridesmaids. One gift is standard, but some brides choose to give multiple gifts at different times during the wedding timeline.
• Personalization: Personalized gifts, such as monogrammed items or birthstone jewelry, can make your bridesmaids feel special without necessarily increasing the cost.
• Thoughtfulness: Remember that it's the thought that counts. A heartfelt card or letter can be just as meaningful as an expensive gift.

What are the expectations of a bridesmaid?

Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of responsibility, participation, and expenses. Here is a breakdown of what is expected of a bridesmaid:

Pre-Wedding

• Planning and attending the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid of honour usually takes the lead on these, but bridesmaids are expected to support her efforts, chip in, and attend.
• Helping with pre-wedding tasks such as making favours, DIY projects, place cards, and shopping for dresses and decor.
• Being emotionally supportive of the bride.
• Being a trusted confidant and sounding board for the bride.
• Communicating honestly and being aware of your own financial boundaries.
• Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Helping the bride choose her wedding attire and flowers, if asked.

On the Wedding Day

• Keeping the bride calm, cool, and collected.
• Liaising with the wedding planner, vendors, family, and guests.
• Assisting the bride with her wedding attire and ensuring she is fed, hydrated, and has everything she needs.
• Helping the bride use the bathroom, as she may need assistance with her dress.
• Witnessing the signing of the marriage certificate.
• Holding the wedding rings and/or the bride's bouquet.
• Greeting guests and guiding them to their seats.
• Answering questions from guests and acting as a secondary hostess.
• Helping with last-minute tasks.

Post-Wedding

• Helping to gather personal items and transport gifts.
• Participating in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch.
• Returning any rentals to the vendor.
• Creating a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party.

In addition to these duties, bridesmaids are also expected to cover certain expenses, such as their own travel, accommodations, wedding gifts, and attire, including the dress, shoes, and accessories.

Frequently asked questions