Deborah Chan
Deciding what to do with a wedding ring can be a difficult and emotional process, especially after a divorce. Wedding rings can be seen as valuable assets and symbols of commitment, joy, and love. There are several options for what to do with a wedding ring, including keeping, selling, repurposing, or returning it. Some people may choose to store their wedding ring, while others may prefer to transform it into a new piece of jewellery, such as a necklace or pendant. Selling a wedding ring can be a way to move on financially and emotionally, while repurposing it can create something more sentimental. Ultimately, the decision depends on individual preferences and the specific circumstances surrounding the divorce.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of rings | One or two |
| Ring combination | Engagement ring and wedding band, or a single ring to symbolise both |
| Ring order | Wedding band on the bottom, engagement ring on top, or vice versa |
| Ring finger | Left hand (common in Western countries), or right hand (common in Northern and Eastern European countries) |
| Ring style | Traditional or modern, matching or non-matching, plain or with stones |
| Number of ring stacks | One, two, or three (or more) |
| Ring metal | Gold, silver, or mixed metals |
| Comfort | Some prefer a single ring for comfort |
| Convenience | Wearing a single ring is more convenient for those with jobs or hobbies that are tough on the hands |
| Personal expression | Couples are increasingly prioritising personal expression and style over tradition |
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What You'll Learn
Selling your wedding ring
There are several options for selling your wedding ring, each with its own benefits and risks. You could consider a local jeweller, an online marketplace, an auction house, or even social media. Local jewellers often provide a secure and personalised experience, but you may need to shop around to find one that is willing to make a good offer. Online platforms offer convenience but can come with risks such as scams or hidden fees. Auction houses and social media may also be viable options, but it is important to research and choose a trustworthy buyer with expertise in evaluating fine jewellery.
To get the most money for your wedding ring, it is recommended to have it appraised by a reputable jeweller before agreeing to any purchasing terms. This will give you an estimate to keep in mind as you explore your selling options. Additionally, understanding the key features of your ring is vital to receiving a fair price. You can partner with gemological labs to have your item graded, cleaned, and photographed prior to the sale.
When selling your wedding ring, it is normal to have a range of emotions. It may be helpful to choose a platform that provides support and guidance throughout the process, ensuring you feel secure and confident in your decision. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and it is important to consider your unique circumstances when deciding the best route for selling your wedding ring.
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Melting it down to create new jewellery
If you're looking to repurpose your wedding ring into something new, melting it down to create new jewellery is an option. This could be a way to give new life to unworn jewellery that holds sentimental value. You could melt down your wedding ring and create new wedding bands, as in the case of two brothers who had new wedding bands made for themselves and their spouses from a collection of inherited family rings.
The process of melting down gold jewellery to create new pieces involves placing the rings in a crucible and heating them to around 1100 degrees Celsius, at which point the gold will melt and flow together. The molten gold is then poured into a casting mould to make an ingot, which is then allowed to cool before being passed on to goldsmiths to create new rings.
It's important to note that not all jewellers will melt down old pieces and recast them. This is because solder, repair metals, and parts of the original alloy can burn off, changing the karat of the gold and making it more brittle. Some jewellers may refuse to work with old gold and will only buy it to send it to be melted down and made into a new alloy.
If you're considering melting down your wedding ring to create new jewellery, it's recommended to seek out a jeweller who specialises in this process and can advise on the best approach. You may also want to consider the potential costs involved, as purifying gold can be a significant process, and the savings may not always be substantial.
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Keeping it as a family heirloom
Keeping a wedding ring as a family heirloom is a popular option, especially if the ring holds sentimental value. Heirloom rings can be passed down from generation to generation, carrying rich history and emotional significance. Here are some considerations and options for keeping a wedding ring as a family heirloom:
Asking for Permission
If you are considering using a family heirloom ring for an engagement or wedding, it is important to ask for permission from the current owner of the ring. This can be a delicate conversation, as you are essentially asking for their jewellery. It is recommended to have an open and honest discussion, expressing the importance of the ring to both you and your partner. Give the family member time to consider the request without pressuring them, as it is a significant decision to part with a cherished item.
Respecting the History
Before asking for the ring, take the time to learn about its history and backstory. Understanding who it belonged to, how it came into the family, and any special significance it holds for the family can make your request more meaningful. Respect the emotional connection the current owner may have with the ring and be mindful of their feelings.
Resetting and Redesigning
If the heirloom ring is not the right style or fit for the recipient, consider resetting or redesigning it. Consult a trusted jeweller to explore options for modernising the ring while preserving its original design. You can add personal touches, such as incorporating diamond pieces from other family jewellery or creating a unique band that reflects the wearer's personality. Resetting the stone in a new setting allows for customisation while retaining the ring's sentimental value.
Combining Old and New
When it comes to wedding bands, you can combine heirloom engagement rings with contemporary styles. Mix metals, design a custom band, or stack multiple rings to showcase both the heirloom and modern pieces. This blend of old and new symbolises the fusion of family history with new beginnings.
Passing Down the Heirloom
If you are the recipient of a family heirloom ring, consider the possibility of passing it down to future generations. Wedding rings can become cherished heirlooms for future family members, continuing the tradition of honouring family history and legacy. Discuss the option of passing down the ring with your family to gauge their interest and preferences.
Keeping a wedding ring as a family heirloom involves thoughtful consideration and respect for the ring's history and emotional value. By seeking permission, redesigning with care, and honouring the family legacy, you can preserve and cherish the ring for generations to come.
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Returning it to your ex-partner's family
Returning your wedding ring to your ex-partner's family is a delicate matter that requires careful consideration. Here are some things to keep in mind if you are contemplating this course of action:
Legal Considerations
The laws regarding the return of engagement and wedding rings vary depending on your location. In some states, the return of the ring may depend on who ended the engagement or who is at fault for the breakup. For example, in certain states, if the recipient of the ring terminates the relationship or calls off the wedding, they are legally obligated to return the ring as it is considered a 'conditional' gift, given in contemplation of marriage. On the other hand, if the donor of the ring is responsible for the breakup, the recipient may be entitled to keep it. It is important to consult the laws in your specific state to understand your rights and obligations.
Heirloom Rings
If the ring in question is a family heirloom, the situation becomes more complex. Legally, the recipient of the heirloom ring may not be obligated to return it, especially if it was given to them by their spouse during the marriage. However, from a moral and ethical standpoint, returning a family heirloom to its original owners, in this case, your ex-partner's family, may be the right thing to do, especially if the divorce was bitter and you no longer wish to be associated with that family.
Communication and Negotiation
Open communication with your ex-partner's family is crucial in this process. If you intend to return the ring, it is respectful to inform them of your decision and arrange a suitable time and place for the exchange. Additionally, if there is a disagreement about the return of the ring, negotiation and compromise may be necessary. For example, your ex-partner's family may offer to pay for the ring or exchange it for its monetary value.
Emotional Considerations
Returning a wedding ring to your ex-partner's family can be an emotional experience. It may symbolize closure and a final step in moving on from the relationship. However, it is also a reminder of the past and can bring up old memories and feelings. It is essential to be emotionally prepared for this step and seek support from loved ones if needed.
Practical Arrangements
When returning the ring, consider the practical aspects such as the condition of the ring. If the ring has depreciated in value while in your care, you may not be legally responsible for the losses incurred, but it is something to be aware of. Additionally, ensure that the ring is securely packaged and consider insuring it during transit if it is valuable.
In conclusion, returning a wedding ring to your ex-partner's family involves legal, moral, and emotional considerations. It is important to be respectful, communicate openly, and handle the situation with sensitivity. Remember that the decision to return the ring is deeply personal, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
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Storing it away
Storing away a wedding ring can be a great option if you are not ready to let go of it yet or if you want to pass it down to the next generation. Here are some detailed steps and considerations for storing your wedding ring:
Taking Time to Decide:
Before storing your wedding ring, it is important to take some time to process your emotions and make a thoughtful decision. Divorce or separation can be challenging, and it is normal to experience a range of feelings during this transition. Give yourself the space and time you need to heal before making any permanent choices regarding your ring.
Cleaning and Preparing the Ring:
If you decide to store your wedding ring, it is essential to clean and prepare it properly before placing it away. Clean the ring gently with an appropriate solution and a soft cloth to remove any dirt or grime. Ensure the ring is thoroughly dried before storing it to prevent moisture damage.
Choosing a Storage Container:
Select a sturdy and protective box or container to keep your ring safe. Consider using a specialised jewellery box or case with soft fabric lining to protect the ring from scratches or other damage. You may also want to choose a box that is light-resistant and airtight to prevent discolouration or tarnishing over time.
Storing the Ring:
Place the cleaned and dried ring inside the chosen storage container. Consider adding a small packet of silica gel inside the box to absorb any excess moisture and help maintain a dry environment. Keep the box in a secure location, such as a locked drawer or a safe, to ensure the ring remains safe and protected.
Passing it Down:
If you choose to store your wedding ring with the intention of passing it down as a family heirloom, consider the next steps. You may wish to select a family member to receive the ring, such as a daughter or daughter-in-law, and communicate your wishes to them. Alternatively, you can simply hold onto the ring and allow future generations to decide its use, whether as a wedding ring or a repurposed piece of jewellery.
Storing away a wedding ring can provide you with the time and space to process your emotions while knowing the ring is safe and protected. It allows you to honour the past while deciding how you want to move forward, whether by keeping the ring, repurposing it, or passing it down to future generations.
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Frequently asked questions
No, this decision is completely up to you. You can wear both rings, or opt for just one ring to symbolise both your engagement and married status.
Traditionally, the wedding band is worn on the bottom of the stack, with the engagement ring on top, closest to your heart. However, there is no right or wrong way to stack your rings, and you should do what feels right for you.
In many Western countries, it is common to wear wedding and engagement rings on the left hand. In some Northern and Eastern European countries, such as Russia, Poland and Denmark, as well as India, Greece, Spain and Portugal, it is customary to wear the rings on the right hand.
You can either wear your engagement ring on your right hand or keep it safe with a trusted friend or family member. After the ceremony, you can then slip your engagement ring back on, either on its own or stacked with your wedding band.
You can choose to wear your engagement ring on your left hand and your wedding band on your right hand, or vice versa. Alternatively, you can invest in a single, standout ring that combines both.
