Best Man's Speech Tradition In Jewish Weddings

A best man's speech at a Jewish wedding follows a similar structure to a best man's speech at any other wedding. The best man will usually thank the guests for coming, share anecdotes about the groom, and offer congratulations to the happy couple. However, there are some unique customs at Jewish weddings that a best man may want to acknowledge in his speech, such as the breaking of the glass, which symbolises the last time the groom will get to put his foot down in married life. Another custom is pelting the couple with candy at the synagogue service, which is said to be a way of wishing them a sweet life together.

Use of 'Mazel Tov' and how often to say 'L'chaim'

"Mazel Tov" is a Jewish phrase that is used to express congratulations for a happy and significant occasion or event. The phrase is derived from the Biblical Hebrew word "mazzāl", meaning "constellation" or "astrological sign". It may also be related to the root "נ-ז-ל" which means "to flow down". "Mazel Tov" is an acknowledgment of good luck and is similar in usage to the word "congratulations". It is commonly used at Jewish events such as weddings, bar mitzvahs, and bat mitzvahs. At weddings, "Mazel Tov" is shouted by the couple's friends and family after the ceremonial breaking of the glass.

"L'Chaim", on the other hand, is a Hebrew toast that means "to life". It is typically said at Jewish wedding receptions when someone raises a glass to celebrate the newlyweds. There are no rules regarding how often "L'Chaim" can be said, and it is more commonly used as a toast. It is considered strange to repeat it, and it is more appropriate to say 'Mazel Tov' in between toasts.

Jewish wedding customs, e.g. throwing sweets

Jewish wedding customs and rituals vary between the Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform practices of Judaism, as well as among individual synagogues and rabbis. Here is an overview of some of the customs and traditions that are commonly found in Jewish weddings:

Aufruf

The term "Aufruf", which means "to call up" in Yiddish, refers to a blessing called an "aliyah" given to the bride and groom before the wedding ceremony. During this time, it is customary for members of the congregation to throw candies, nuts, and raisins at the couple to wish them a sweet life together. This custom is also sometimes observed at Bar Mitzvahs and other celebrations.

The Ketubah

The Ketubah is a symbolic Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's responsibilities to his bride, including the conditions he will provide in the marriage, the bride's protections and rights, and the framework should the couple choose to divorce. It is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony and then read to the guests during the wedding. The Ketubah is not a religious document but is instead part of Jewish civil law, with no mention of God blessing the union.

The Chuppah

The Chuppah is a canopy that symbolizes the new home the couple will share. It typically has four corners and a covered roof, and the couple stands under it while exchanging their vows. In some ceremonies, friends or family members hold up the four posts of the Chuppah to show support for the life the couple is building together. The canopy is often made from a tallit, or prayer shawl, that belongs to the couple or their families.

The Ring Exchange and Seven Blessings

In a traditional Jewish wedding, there is no spoken exchange of vows. Instead, the covenant is considered implicit in the ritual. However, modern couples may choose to add their own vows to the ceremony. The ring exchange and the seven blessings, or "Sheva B'rachot", are the two main parts of the Jewish marriage program that represent the sealing of the marriage contract. The blessings are often recited in Hebrew by family members or loved ones and focus on joy, celebration, and the power of love.

Breaking of the Glass

At the end of the ceremony, the groom, or sometimes the bride and groom together, steps on a glass inside a cloth bag and shatters it. This custom holds multiple meanings. Some say it represents the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, while others say it symbolises that marriage holds both joy and sorrow, and it is a commitment to stand by one another even in hard times. After the glass is broken, guests shout "Mazel Tov!", which means "good luck" or "congratulations".

The Hora

The Hora is a celebratory dance at the wedding reception where guests dance in a circle, usually with women dancing with women and men dancing with men. The bride and groom are seated on chairs and lifted into the air while holding onto a handkerchief or cloth napkin.

Best man speech structure

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding, and it's important to get it right. Here's a guide to help you structure your speech and deliver it with confidence.

Begin your speech with a light-hearted icebreaker or a joke to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It's a great way to set a friendly and engaging tone for the rest of your speech. You could make a joke about your unpreparedness or even the groom's speech before yours.

Self-Introduction

After the icebreaker, introduce yourself to the guests, especially those who may not know you well. Share how you met the groom and established your friendship. This will help the audience understand your connection to the groom and set the context for your speech.

Messages from Absent Guests

The couple may ask you to share messages or well-wishes from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and can be quite meaningful for those present. You can also add a touch of humour by including fake messages from celebrities or fictional characters.

Anecdotes and Stories

This is the heart of your speech, where you share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. It's a chance to playfully roast the groom while keeping it friendly and respectful. If you have any props or stunts that enhance your stories, this is the time to use them. You can also include funny stories from the groom's family and childhood friends for added surprise.

Words of Wisdom and Compliments

Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're married, you can share your own experiences and lessons learned. Alternatively, ask married friends or family members for their tips on love, compromise, and everyday living. Take a moment to compliment the bride and reflect on how she has positively impacted the groom's life.

Acknowledge the Bridal Party

Thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and their contributions leading up to the wedding.

Final Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the happy couple. Wish them a future filled with happiness and invite all the guests to join in. Keep your toast short and sweet, reflecting the tone of your speech.

Timing

As a guide, aim for your speech to be around seven minutes. This is enough time to include all the essential elements without losing the attention of your audience.

Delivery

Avoid reading your speech directly from a script, as it can make you seem disconnected from the audience. Instead, use cue cards with key points to help you stay on track. Remember to pause and take your time; don't rush through your speech. Stay sober, as drinking beforehand can lead to ad-libbing and missing important elements.

Content

Keep your speech focused on the groom. Avoid talking about yourself or your role as the best man, as it should be about honouring the groom. Stay away from inside jokes that only you and the groom will understand. Ensure your stories and jokes are appropriate for all guests, including children and older relatives.

Summarise the key points of your speech and call back to some earlier jokes for extra laughs. Offer some final advice to the couple and wish them well.

With a well-structured speech and confident delivery, you'll deliver a memorable and engaging best man's speech that the guests will remember fondly.

Best man's relationship with the groom

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and the leader of the groomsmen. He is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a sibling or cousin, and is chosen for his reliability, positive attitude, and ability to communicate. The groom should be able to trust the best man to wrangle the groomsmen and ensure they meet the expectations of the couple.

The best man has a range of duties, including leading the groomsmen, planning the bachelor party, handling formalwear, being the groom's emotional support on the big day, keeping the rings safe, signing the marriage license, and, of course, delivering the best man's speech.

In terms of addressing the groom in a speech, there is no specific word for the groom in relation to the best man. In a formal speech, you can refer to "the groom" by name, and in a more lighthearted or friendly context, you can use terms such as "my friend", "my brother", "my pal", or simply address him by name.

Best man's anecdotes about the groom

Ladies and gentlemen, I have the honour of being the best man for [Groom's name] today. I've known [Groom] for many years now, and I can tell you, he is a truly unique character. For example, did you know that he enjoys wearing women's clothing on the weekends? Yes, it's true! [Groom]—or should I say, "Donna"—has certainly developed some interesting habits. But don't worry, it's nothing that a few therapy sessions can't fix!

Speaking of unique habits, I want to take you back to the night [Groom] and [Bride] first met. It all began at the Buzz nightclub, where [Bride], ever so subtly, pinched [Groom] on the bottom. This move left quite the impression—both literally and figuratively. [Groom] had a bruise that lasted for weeks! But it took a whole year for them to cross paths again. Thankfully, [Bride] wasn't deterred and sent a fateful text: "Do you remember me? We met at Buzz." And the rest, as they say, is history.

Now, we all know that [Groom] can be a bit of a nervous nelly. On their first date, his hands were shaking so much that it took him an hour to eat his jacket potato. Luckily, he had [Bride] by his side to help him through it, just as she has been by his side ever since.

When I asked [Groom] what attracted him to [Bride], he said it was her "huge sense of humour." And let me tell you, she's going to need it, marrying him! But in all seriousness, [Groom] is incredibly lucky to have found [Bride]. She is intelligent, caring, and beautiful, and she deserves the best. [Groom], today is the happiest day of your life, and I know that [Bride] will continue to bring you joy, love, and laughter for many years to come.

So, here's to the happy couple! May they always find comfort and happiness in each other's company. Please raise your glasses and join me in a toast to the health, wealth, and eternal happiness of the newlyweds, [Groom] and [Bride]!

Frequently asked questions