The Ultimate Guide To Planning Your Own Wedding

Planning a wedding is a complex and time-consuming task. While some couples choose to hire a professional wedding planner, others opt to take on the challenge themselves. DIY wedding planning can be a rewarding experience, allowing couples to create a personalized celebration that reflects their unique style and vision. It also enables them to stay within a specific budget and make decisions without external influence. However, it can also be overwhelming and stressful, with numerous details to manage and organize. To succeed, couples must be well-organized, manage their time effectively, and not be afraid to delegate tasks to friends and family. Fortunately, there are many resources available, such as books, websites, and apps, that can provide guidance and support throughout the DIY wedding planning journey.

Budgeting

Start Early and Be Organised

The wedding budget is often the most stressful part of wedding planning, but it doesn't have to be. Start early and give yourself plenty of time to research and compare prices. Organisation is key – use checklists, spreadsheets, or budgeting apps to keep track of your expenses and stay on top of payments.

Set a Realistic Budget and Be Flexible

Work out how much you can afford to spend and be realistic about what you can achieve within that budget. It's a good idea to give yourself a 10-15% buffer for unexpected costs or last-minute changes.

Prioritize

Sit down with your partner and decide on the three most important aspects of your wedding. Is it the venue, the date, a specific photographer, or a live band? Prioritize those details and be willing to compromise on the rest to stay within your budget.

Research and Compare

When it comes to venues and vendors, don't just settle for the first option you find. Research and compare prices, packages, and restrictions from several different options. This will help you get the best value for your money and ensure you're getting what you want.

Negotiate and DIY

Don't be afraid to negotiate with vendors – most are open to it. You can also save money by getting creative with DIY projects for decor, invitations, and more.

Choose an Off-Peak Date and Venue

Consider having your wedding on a Friday or Sunday, or during off-peak seasons like fall or winter. Venues and vendors are typically less busy and more affordable during these times.

Keep the Guest List Manageable

The number of guests can significantly impact costs, so keep the guest list as concise as possible. Only invite people you truly want to be there, and consider whether to offer a full bar or just wine and beer, which can be more cost-effective.

Be Mindful of Hidden Costs

Don't forget about hidden fees like postage, gratuity, taxes, and travel costs, which can add up quickly. Factor these into your budget to avoid unpleasant surprises.

Track Your Spending

Use a budget tracker or spreadsheet to monitor your spending and stay organised. This will help you stay on top of payments and ensure you don't go over budget.

Happy planning!

Choosing a venue

Start with the Basics

First, decide on the basics of your wedding. Will it be big or small, outdoors or indoors, rustic or glamorous? Answering these questions will help you narrow down the many venue options available.

Location, Location, Location

Decide on the general location of your wedding. This could be either partner's hometown, the city where you live, a favourite vacation spot, or a dream destination. The location will impact your budget and venue options, so it's an important decision to make early on.

Ceremony and Reception

Determine whether you want your ceremony and reception to be in the same place or different places. Some couples choose to host the ceremony in a separate space, such as a house of worship or a park, followed by the reception at a different venue.

Budgeting

Your venue and catering will likely make up about half of your wedding budget. In the US, couples spend an average of $5,400 on their venue, with most spending between $2,700 and $10,500. Consider your budget and how much you can allocate to the venue and catering. This will help you narrow down your options.

Guest List

Estimate your guest count as every venue has a capacity, and this number is usually not flexible. Sit down with your partner and families to come up with a list so there won't be any surprises later. This will ensure the venue can comfortably accommodate your guests.

Priorities

Discuss with your partner the three most important features of your ideal venue. For example, an outdoor space, in-house catering, or a specific style such as rustic or modern. Knowing your priorities will help you choose a venue that aligns with your vision.

Timing

Narrow down a few potential dates or a time of year that works for you, your partner, and your closest loved ones. While you may not have a fixed date in mind, having a range of dates will help when enquiring about venue availability.

Venue Style

Decide on the style of venue you are looking for. Are you envisioning a hotel, a barn, a beach, or an art gallery? Discuss your desired style and create a list of adjectives to describe your dream venue to guide your search.

Research and Visit

Start your venue search online using websites that allow you to browse venues in your area, read reviews, and check photos and amenities. Narrow down a shortlist of venues that match your criteria, and reach out with any questions. Finally, visit your top choices in person to get a feel for the space and meet with the venue coordinator.

Weigh the Pros and Cons

Don't feel pressured to sign a contract immediately. Take time to visit and consider multiple venues, discussing the options with your partner and families. Weigh the pros and cons of each venue and work together to make a final decision.

Finalize the Contract

Once you've chosen your venue, review the contract carefully. Don't hesitate to ask questions and ensure you understand the payment schedule and all the details. When you're comfortable with the contract, sign it and celebrate! You've made a crucial decision in your wedding planning journey.

Selecting vendors

Do Your Research:

Before meeting with any vendors, take the time to research and narrow down your options. Use online tools and websites to find local listings, including business hours, contact information, websites, and client reviews. This initial research will help you create a shortlist of potential candidates to consider.

Set Your Budget:

Discuss and set a realistic budget with your partner before meeting with vendors. Be clear about how much you can spend and the number of guests you're expecting. This will help you avoid falling in love with a venue or vendor that is beyond your financial means. It's okay to be flexible and spend a little more if needed, but having a budget will guide your decisions and ensure you don't overspend.

Prioritize and Compromise:

Determine your top priorities and be willing to compromise on less important aspects. For example, is it crucial to have a specific venue or date, or are you set on booking a particular photographer or band? By identifying your non-negotiables, you can allocate your budget effectively and focus your efforts on securing those must-have vendors.

Schedule Meetings:

Once you have a shortlist, schedule appointments with your top choices, especially those who are in high demand and book up quickly. During these meetings, assess their availability and whether they align with your budget and guest count. It is also essential to meet face-to-face or via video call to gauge their demeanor and how well your personalities mesh.

Ask Questions and Clarify Details:

Prepare a list of questions to ask potential vendors to ensure you cover all the important points. Inquire about their experience, services offered, and any additional costs that may be incurred. Ask for client referrals and testimonials to get a sense of their work ethic and the quality of their services. Don't be afraid to ask candid questions; it's important to get all the information you need to make an informed decision.

Get Everything in Writing:

When discussing contracts, be sure to get everything in writing, down to the smallest detail. Review contracts thoroughly and look out for hidden costs or vague wording. Ask for itemized lists of what is included in the quoted price. For example, if you have specific floral arrangements in mind, ensure each flower type is listed to avoid misunderstandings or unavailability on your wedding day.

Trust Your Instincts:

Finally, trust your instincts when selecting vendors. If something feels "off," or you don't feel comfortable with their working style or personality, keep looking. Remember, you'll be working closely with these vendors on one of the most important days of your life, so it's crucial to choose professionals who put you at ease and align with your values and wedding vision.

Creating a timeline

A typical Western-style wedding will last around 5-6 hours, including the ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. This length of time may seem short, but celebrations that last longer than 6 hours can feel too much for your guests.

Where to start?

If you are working with a wedding planner, they will usually put together a timeline for you. If not, it can be difficult to know what to include and how detailed it should be. Essentially, your timeline should outline all the major and minor events that need to occur and include vendors, guests, and deliveries involved in those events.

Getting ready

One of the first items on your wedding day timeline will likely be 'getting ready'. This part of the day needs to be timed fairly precisely to ensure the rest of the day runs smoothly. It is also important to set aside a clear getting-ready time for vendors, such as hair and makeup artists, so they can plan their schedule.

Ceremony

The actual length of your ceremony will depend on the style of wedding you are having. Non-religious ceremonies typically last around 20-30 minutes, while religious ceremonies can take up to an hour or more.

Cocktail hour

Cocktail hour gives your guests a chance to mingle and catch up over drinks and canapes. This is also when family portraits are usually taken, so it is a good idea to get as many portraits out of the way before the ceremony as possible, to avoid taking guests away from the celebrations.

Reception

Most of the key moments during a wedding reception can be shifted around to suit your schedule and the desired feel for the day. Here is a list of events that you may want to include in your reception timeline:

• Grand entrance
• First dance
• Toasts
• Dinner
• Parent dances
• Cake cutting
• Bouquet toss
• Open dance floor
• Grand exit

Organising the day-of

The day of your wedding is fast approaching, and it's time to get organised! Here is a comprehensive checklist to ensure your special day runs smoothly:

Two to Three Days Before

• Make last-minute changes to the table plan, if necessary.
• Grooms: Go for your final fitting and pick up your outfit. Ask the best man to ensure all groomsmen attend fittings and collect their outfits.
• Confirm pick-up times with the wedding car company.
• Reconfirm final details with all vendors and discuss any last-minute substitutions.
• Print off a sheet with the running order for the day and vendor contact details. Give copies to your best man and maid of honour.

The Day Before

• Drop off place cards, table cards, menus, favours, and the table plan to the reception coordinator.
• Provide all wedding professionals with an emergency contact number.
• Sort out payments and tips for any final balances to be paid at the end of the reception.
• Ensure the wedding cake is on track to be delivered to the venue.
• Rehearse the ceremony with the full wedding party at the ceremony site.
• Get a good night's rest!

The Wedding Day

• Give the gifts for your parents to the best man/bridesmaid for after the speeches.
• Flowers should be delivered to the bride. Buttonholes may need to be brought to the groomsmen.
• Give the wedding bands to the best man to hold during the ceremony.
• Give the officiant's fee envelope to the best man to be given after the ceremony.
• Introduce your reception coordinator to your wedding planner or bridesmaid/best man for any questions during the reception.
• Assign a family member or attendant to be the photographer's contact.
• Pre-arrange for someone to return any rentals and take the wedding dress and suit for cleaning.
• Write and send thank-you notes to gift-bearing guests and helpful vendors.
• Collect your marriage certificate.

After the Wedding

• Focus on the big picture. Be present and feel the love. Don't worry about small details or imperfections.
• Enjoy the special moments with your loved ones and remember to eat!

Congratulations! You've made it through the planning process, and your wedding day is here. Now, it's time to relax and savour every moment.

Frequently asked questions