Rhiannon Hendricks
Planning a wedding is stressful, and deciding whether to cancel or postpone your wedding is a difficult decision. Many couples have had to make the gut-wrenching decision to cancel or postpone their weddings due to unforeseen circumstances, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, or being sent abroad for work. If you are wondering whether to cancel your July wedding, it is important to consider the impact on your guests, especially if they are travelling, and whether your venue and vendors can accommodate a new date.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Location | Rochester, New York |
| CDC Recommendation | Cancellation of weddings in the United States until mid-May |
| State Orders | Shelter-in-place in Virginia until mid-June |
| Suggested Action | Postpone weddings until 2021 |
| Factors to Consider | Venue, hotels, vendors, guests' travel plans |
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What You'll Learn
Dealing with disappointment and the feeling of selfishness
Dealing with disappointment and feelings of selfishness is a challenging but essential part of processing the cancellation of your July wedding. Here are some ways to navigate these emotions:
- Recognize and accept your feelings: It is normal to feel disappointed, sad, or even angry about cancelling your wedding. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgement. Acknowledge that this is a challenging situation and give yourself compassion.
- Reframe your perspective: While it may feel selfish to want your dream wedding, it is not selfish to want to celebrate your love and commitment with your family and friends. Try to shift your mindset from feeling selfish to recognizing that you are experiencing a legitimate sense of loss. Focus on the fact that your wedding is postponed rather than cancelled, and you will still have the opportunity to celebrate with your loved ones when the time is right.
- Practice self-care: Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally during this difficult time. Engage in activities that bring you joy, comfort, and relaxation. This could include exercising, spending time in nature, journaling, meditating, or connecting with loved ones. Prioritize self-care to help you process your emotions and build resilience.
- Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to your partner, family, or friends for support. They can provide a listening ear, offer comfort, and help you navigate the practical aspects of cancelling or postponing your wedding. Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who may be in a similar situation and can understand your unique challenges.
- Focus on what you can control: While it's disappointing to cancel your July wedding, channel your energy into the aspects of the situation that you can control. This might include reaching out to your venue and vendors to discuss alternative dates, adjusting your plans to align with local guidelines, or exploring creative ways to celebrate your love safely. Taking proactive steps can help you feel more empowered and reduce feelings of helplessness.
Remember, it is completely valid to feel disappointed and to grieve the wedding you had envisioned. Give yourself time and space to process these emotions, and know that it's okay to not be okay. With self-compassion, flexibility, and support from others, you will be able to navigate this challenging situation and look forward to celebrating your love when the time is right.
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How to tell your family and friends
Deciding to cancel your wedding is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary. If you have decided to cancel your July wedding, here is a guide on how to tell your family and friends:
Be Proactive and Honest:
It is important to be proactive and honest with your family and friends. Let them know about the cancellation as soon as possible. You don't have to go into detail about the reasons unless you want to. A simple statement such as, "We've decided to take different paths in life and not get married at this time," is enough.
Choose Your Method of Communication:
Consider how you want to communicate the news. If you have already sent out formal invitations, it is best to send out printed cards or make phone calls to each guest. If you haven't sent invitations yet, a personal phone call, email, or even a text message may be more appropriate.
Keep it Short and Sweet:
When informing your family and friends, you don't need to provide a lengthy explanation. A concise message like, "Due to unforeseen issues, we have decided to postpone our wedding," is sufficient. If you have a new date in mind, you can include that information as well.
Handle Logistics:
If you had blocked hotel rooms for guests, be sure to call the hotel and explain the situation. Be honest and work with them regarding their cancellation policy. Regarding plane tickets, your guests will need to contact the airlines directly to make alternative arrangements.
Seek Support:
Cancelling a wedding can be emotionally challenging. Don't hesitate to confide in your close family and friends about your decision. They can provide you with the support and understanding you need during this difficult time.
Remember, it is ultimately your decision whether to share the details of the cancellation with your loved ones. If you don't feel comfortable sharing everything, that's okay. Focus on taking care of the necessary logistical steps and surrounding yourself with a supportive network.
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The financial impact of cancelling
The next step is to assess the financial implications of your venue cancellation policy. Venues often have strict guidelines, and you may incur penalties or lose your deposit if you cancel within a certain timeframe. It is worth discussing alternative dates with the venue to understand their availability and any associated costs for changing the date.
Additionally, consider the impact on your guests, especially those who have made travel arrangements and accommodations. While guest travel is typically not the responsibility of the couple, it is courteous to inform them of any changes as early as possible to minimise their potential losses.
Furthermore, if you have already sent out invitations and stationery, cancelling the wedding may result in additional costs for new invitations or notices. It is also important to consider any non-refundable expenses incurred during the planning process, such as dress purchases, catering deposits, or entertainment bookings. These costs may not be recoverable, and you will need to evaluate their financial impact.
Lastly, it is worth exploring alternative options to a complete cancellation. Depending on the circumstances, you may consider postponing the wedding to a later date or opting for a more intimate celebration with a reduced guest list. While these options may still incur costs, they could provide a more financially viable solution than an outright cancellation. Remember to carefully review all contracts and discuss options with your vendors and venue to make an informed decision that considers the financial implications.
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The impact on your relationship
Deciding whether to cancel a wedding is a difficult decision that can have a significant impact on your relationship. It is important to consider the potential consequences for your relationship if you choose to cancel your July wedding.
On the one hand, cancelling a wedding can be a stressful and emotional experience that can put a strain on your relationship. It may lead to feelings of disappointment, sadness, and frustration, especially if you have been looking forward to this day for a long time. There may be financial implications as well, with potential losses incurred from deposits and other expenses. This can be a source of stress and worry, affecting your relationship dynamics and emotional well-being.
However, it is also essential to recognize that the decision to cancel a wedding is often made with the best interests of your relationship at heart. By cancelling, you demonstrate your commitment to the safety and well-being of your loved ones, including your partner, family, and friends. This decision showcases your ability to prioritize the greater good over individual desires, which can strengthen your bond and reinforce your dedication to each other.
Additionally, cancelling a wedding can provide an opportunity to refocus on what truly matters in your relationship. It may allow you to shift your attention to the core values of your partnership, such as love, commitment, and mutual support. This refocus can deepen your connection and help you navigate any challenges that arise together. It is a chance to showcase your adaptability and resilience as a couple, facing adversity unitedly.
The impact of cancelling a wedding on your relationship can vary depending on your unique circumstances and dynamics. Open and honest communication is crucial during this time. Discuss your feelings, concerns, and priorities with your partner. By staying connected and supportive of each other, you can navigate this challenging situation and emerge with a stronger, more resilient relationship.
Remember, the decision to cancel a wedding is often a pragmatic choice made to protect the health and safety of those involved. While it may not be an easy decision, it can ultimately reinforce the foundation of your relationship and serve as a testament to your dedication to each other and your loved ones.
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When to make the call
Secondly, the size of your wedding and the number of guests attending can influence your decision. Larger weddings with a higher number of guests, especially those travelling from different areas, may pose a higher risk and could be more challenging to postpone or cancel. In such cases, it is advisable to make a decision earlier, allowing sufficient time for adjustments and accommodations.
Additionally, the availability of your chosen venue and vendors can impact the timing of your decision. If you choose to postpone the wedding, you will need to coordinate with the venue and vendors to determine if they can accommodate a new date. Their availability may influence the timeline of your decision, as you would want to provide your guests with ample notice and ensure a smooth transition to the new date.
Furthermore, the flexibility of your plans and the impact of potential changes should be considered. If you have a strict vision for your wedding, with specific vendors and details that are non-negotiable, you may need to make a decision earlier to secure your preferred choices. On the other hand, if you are open to adjustments and willing to embrace a more flexible approach, you may have the luxury of time to see how the situation unfolds.
Ultimately, the decision to cancel or postpone a July wedding can be complex and multifaceted. It is important to weigh the various factors involved and make a decision that aligns with your priorities, values, and the well-being of your guests.
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Frequently asked questions
It depends on where you are located and the number of COVID-19 cases in your area. As of May 2020, the CDC has recommended the cancellation of weddings in the United States until mid-May, while some states have shelter-in-place orders in effect until mid-June. You should consider the safety of your guests, especially those who are travelling.
If you need to cancel or postpone your wedding, it is important to recognize your priorities. First, determine if the venue and hotels can accommodate a new date, and then reach out to all vendors to see if they can do the same.
It is important to consider any extra fees that may be associated with postponing your wedding. Your entire plan and team may not be carried over without any changes, so you may need to make adjustments.
To allow for a process with far less stress, it is recommended to make the decision to cancel or postpone your wedding approximately three to five months in advance.
