Gifting Etiquette: Bridesmaids' Presents At The Shower

Bridesmaids often give gifts to the bride at the bridal shower, but opinions vary on whether the bride should give her bridesmaids gifts at the bridal shower or the rehearsal dinner. Some brides give their bridesmaids two gifts, one at the shower and one at the rehearsal dinner, while others prefer to give gifts to their bridesmaids in private, either before or after the shower.

Gifts at the rehearsal dinner

While there are many traditions and expectations surrounding weddings, the topic of gifts at the rehearsal dinner is a little more flexible.

It is common for bridesmaids to receive their gifts at the rehearsal dinner, or on the morning of the wedding as everyone is getting ready. This is a good time to give gifts as it adds to the excitement of the day, and the bridesmaids will have time to drop their gifts back at their hotel rooms. It is also a good opportunity for the bride to give a small gift to the hostess of the bridal shower, as a thank you for their time and effort.

However, some brides opt to give their bridesmaids a small gift after the bridal shower, with a bigger gift to follow at the rehearsal dinner or on the morning of the wedding. This is especially true if the bridesmaids are hosting the bridal shower, in which case, a small gift for being a hostess is a nice gesture.

The rehearsal dinner is also a good time for the couple to give gifts to the bridal party, as they will have the gifts for the wedding and can use any props included in the gift.

Budgeting for Gifts:

It is important to remember that being a bridesmaid can be expensive, so while gifts are expected, they do not have to be lavish. Brides usually spend between $75 to $150 on gifts for their bridesmaids, with the maid of honour receiving a slightly more valuable gift. Bridesmaids are also expected to give the couple a wedding gift, so budgeting is important. A good rule of thumb is to spend about 20% of your total gift budget on a bridal shower gift and save the bigger spending for a wedding gift.

Gifts at the bridal shower

If you're a bridesmaid, it's customary to give a gift at the bridal shower. This is because one of the main purposes of the event is for the couple to receive gifts from their registry. However, if you're hosting or contributing financially to the shower, you're not expected to spend a lot of money on a gift. Instead, you can buy a more affordable gift or contribute to a group gift with the other bridesmaids.

If you're the bride, you might also want to give your bridesmaids a small gift at the bridal shower to thank them for hosting. This could be something like a personalised commemorative item or a gift card.

Some people choose to give their bridesmaids their main gift at the bridal shower, while others prefer to wait until the rehearsal dinner or the morning of the wedding. If you're a bride on a budget, it's worth considering that your bridesmaids may be spending a significant amount of money on your wedding, so an affordable but thoughtful gift is always appreciated.

When it comes to the type of gift to give, household goods and kitchen items are always a safe bet. You could also treat your bridesmaids to a spa day or another experience you know they'll enjoy. If you're looking for a more personal gift, monogrammed items are a great option.

Gifts for the bridal shower host

While it is not mandatory to give your bridesmaids gifts at the bridal shower, it is a nice way to show your appreciation for their support and help throughout the wedding planning process. Here are some ideas for gifts for the bridal shower host, which is usually thrown by the maid of honour or the bridesmaids:

• A small gift as a token of appreciation, such as chocolates, decorative picture frames, or personalised items.
• A gift card or certificate for a spa day, massage, manicure or pedicure, as wedding planning can be stressful.
• Household goods are also a good option, such as kitchen items, small appliances or utensil sets, which can be useful for the host to set up their home.
• If you know the host well, a handmade gift is also appropriate if you are artistically inclined.
• If the host is a close friend, you could also pitch in with the other bridesmaids to get them a gift, such as a nice bottle of champagne or a personalised coffee mug.
• If you are unable to attend the bridal shower, you can send your gift to the hostess ahead of time so that it arrives before the party.

Gifts before the wedding

There are many different opinions on when to give gifts to your bridesmaids, and it may depend on your budget and the specific situation. Here are some suggestions for giving gifts to your bridesmaids before the wedding:

At the Bridal Shower

If your bridesmaids are hosting your bridal shower, it is considered polite to give them a small gift as a token of your appreciation for their efforts. This could be something simple and inexpensive, like a small piece of jewellery, a gift card, or a personalised item. However, if you are also planning to give them a gift at the rehearsal dinner or on the wedding day, you may want to save those gifts for a more formal setting and give a smaller token of appreciation at the bridal shower.

At the Rehearsal Dinner

Many brides choose to give their bridesmaids gifts at the rehearsal dinner, which is a common and convenient time to do so. This allows you to show your appreciation for their support and participation in your wedding celebrations. It is also a good opportunity to give them any props or gifts that you want them to have for the wedding day.

The Morning of the Wedding

Some brides opt to give their bridesmaids gifts while they are all getting ready together on the morning of the wedding. This can add to the excitement of the day and provide a memorable moment for everyone involved. However, there is a risk that the gifts may be forgotten or left behind in the rush of wedding preparations, so careful planning is needed.

A Combination of the Above

You could also consider giving your bridesmaids multiple gifts at different times. For example, you could give them a small gift at the bridal shower, followed by a more meaningful gift at the rehearsal dinner or on the morning of the wedding. This allows you to show your appreciation at multiple points during the wedding planning process and celebrations.

Ultimately, the decision of when to give gifts to your bridesmaids is a personal one, and you should choose the option that feels most comfortable and meaningful to you.

Gift budgets

There are many different opinions on how much you should spend on gifts for your bridesmaids, and it can depend on a variety of factors. Firstly, it's important to consider your relationship with the bridesmaid in question. Some sources suggest that you should spend $50 for acquaintances and regular guests, $75 to $100 for friends, coworkers, and extended family members, and $75 to $150 for close friends and family members. Others suggest a budget of between $25 and $75 is more appropriate.

Another factor to consider is the number of gifts you are expected to give. For example, if you are giving gifts at the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, and the morning of the wedding, you may want to reduce the budget for each individual gift. It is also worth bearing in mind that, as a bride, you may be expected to give a small gift to the hostess of your bridal shower.

Your personal budget is always the deciding factor when it comes to gift-giving. If you are already spending a lot of money on your wedding, you may not be able to afford to spend as much on gifts. A general rule of thumb is to spend about 20% of your total gift budget on something for the shower and save the bigger spending for a wedding gift.

If you are a bridesmaid, you should also consider the expenses associated with attending the wedding, including the dress, shoes, travel, and accommodation. If you are going to the shower but not the wedding, you may be able to spend more on a gift. However, if you are struggling to afford the minimum of $50, it is acceptable to pool funds with other guests to purchase a larger, more practical item.

If you are the bride, you should also consider the expenses your bridesmaids are incurring. Bridesmaids often have to pay for dresses, shoes, makeup, and jewellery, as well as travel and the cost of throwing a bridal shower. Therefore, it is not expected that they will spend as much on gifts as other guests.

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