Junior Rasmussen
Wedding speeches are a great way to add memorable moments to the big day. While there is a traditional order to wedding speeches, modern weddings are seeing a shift in this order and even the people delivering the speeches. The father of the bride's speech is usually the first in the traditional wedding speech order, followed by the groom's family. The father of the groom's speech is not traditionally seen in the line-up, but there are plenty of reasons why he might be asked to give one. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide who gives a speech at their wedding.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Father of the bride speech | Often first in the traditional order of speeches, welcoming guests and <co: 2,9>thanking them for coming. It can include a heartfelt anecdote about the bride and some words of wisdom for the couple. |
| Father of the groom speech | Not typical in the traditional wedding speech line-up. However, the father of the groom may still give a speech, especially if it's an LGBTQ+ wedding with two grooms. The speech can include anecdotes, welcoming their partner, and welcoming them into the family. |
| Speech order | Ultimately, the order of speeches is up to the couple. While there is a traditional order, it is not necessary to follow it exactly or at all. |
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What You'll Learn
Father of the bride speech
A father giving a speech during their daughter's wedding is a tradition that is not mandatory but is often followed. The father of the bride speech is usually the first toast given when following the traditional order of speeches at the wedding. It is a big moment in a father's life and can be an emotional and tear-jerking moment for the father, the bride, and the guests.
The father of the bride speech should be a mix of heartfelt emotions, humour, and creativity. It should be personalised and tailored to suit the style and tone of the person delivering it. The father can start by welcoming the guests and thanking them for celebrating with the family on this special day. He can also share a brief anecdote about the bride or their relationship with her. The father can also share some heartfelt and emotional words about his daughter, along with some slightly embarrassing and funny stories or observations. He can talk about her life, her personality, her dreams, and her accomplishments.
Additionally, the father can offer some marriage advice to the newlyweds and share some words of wisdom. If there are key figures who have passed away, the father can also pay a tribute to them. He can also raise a toast to the bride and groom, wishing them a lifetime of love, joy, and happiness.
- "Despite having [X] years to prepare a father of the bride speech, I’m still left standing here today, speechless at how beautiful she looks."
- "Of all the things I have done in my lifetime, being your father and caring for you is by far my biggest achievement yet."
- "There’s no relationship quite as special as the one a father has with his daughter, but if any bond was going to top ours, it’s the one you have with [PARTNER’S NAME]."
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Father of the groom speech
Although it is not typical for fathers of the groom to give a speech at weddings, there are plenty of reasons why you might be asked to give one. If you've been tasked with delivering a father-of-the-groom speech, here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft a memorable and heartfelt speech.
Structure and Content
The structure and content of your speech will depend on who else is speaking and your unique relationship with your son. If there is another father of the groom, you may need to share the responsibilities of welcoming and thanking guests. You may also want to assign one of you to do all the thank-yous or split them between your speeches. If your son has a best man, they will likely cover your son's life from when they met, so you may want to focus on childhood stories and family memories.
Your speech is an opportunity to share your innermost feelings about your son and his partner, express your love, pride, and best wishes for the newlyweds, and impart words of wisdom. You can add a personal touch by including inside jokes, memorable anecdotes, and moments that highlight your bond. A little humour can also go a long way in lightening the mood, but be mindful of your audience and keep the jokes appropriate.
Delivery
The key to a great speech is confidence, and the best way to gain confidence is to practice. Rehearse your speech several times before the wedding to ensure you feel comfortable and at ease when delivering it. Pay attention to your tone, pace, and body language. Maintain eye contact with the audience, use appropriate gestures, and vary your voice to keep the audience engaged.
Examples
- "Good evening everyone. My name is [Name], and I have the honour of being the father of the groom. [Insert personal anecdote about your son growing up, such as a funny story or a significant moment]."
- "Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, welcome. First of all, I want to say thank you for being here today to celebrate this special day with my [son] and his beautiful bride [bride's name]. It's truly an honour to stand here as [son's name]'s father and to speak on behalf of our family."
Some potential topics for the body of your speech include:
- "You were always such a curious and kind-hearted boy, always eager to explore and help others."
- "[Son's name], you have always been the life of the party, and I am so proud of the man you have become. I remember the day you were born [insert additional anecdote about son's childhood], and now here you are, marrying the love of your life."
- "While you have loved and cared for one another for a long time, today makes it official: You are now a married couple. [...] You are two peas in a pod—there is no question at all that you were always meant to be together."
And some light-hearted jokes to include:
- "The couple has requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me. Thanks for listening!"
- "I was trying to figure out the perfect wedding gift for you, and it's this speech."
- "Gosh, what an emotional day it's been. Even the cake is in tiers."
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LGBTQ+ weddings
In an LGBTQ+ wedding, the father of the bride or groom may choose to give a speech, just as they would in a traditional wedding. This speech can be a wonderful way for the father to express his love, pride, and support for their child as they marry the love of their life. It is important for the father to check with their child about their preferred pronouns and wedding day titles to ensure that everyone feels respected and included.
When writing a father-of-the-bride or groom speech for an LGBTQ+ wedding, it is essential to keep the focus on the couple and their love story. The father can share anecdotes from their child's childhood, offer words of wisdom, and propose a toast to the happy couple. It is also advisable to keep the speech short and sweet, aiming for 2 to 4 minutes, to hold the guests' attention and avoid delaying the festivities.
In terms of seating arrangements, the top table at an LGBTQ+ wedding can be organised in a way that suits the couple. While traditionally, the bride and groom are centred, flanked by the bride's parents and then the groom's parents, this can be adapted. A "sweetheart" table just for the newlyweds, surrounded by round tables for guests, can help remove any hierarchy and make it easier to interact with guests.
The configuration of speeches at an LGBTQ+ wedding is unique to each couple and their wedding party. In addition to the father's speech, the couple may choose to give a joint speech or open the floor to anyone who wishes to share. At a lesbian wedding, there may be two fathers of the bride speaking, and at a gay wedding, there may be fathers of the groom. The most important consideration is having the people closest to the couple by their side.
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Who else can give a speech
While the father of the bride is typically the first to give a speech when following the traditional wedding speech order, there are no rules set in stone. The wedding couple can choose whoever they want to give a speech at their wedding. This could include the mother of the bride, the father of the groom, the mother of the groom, or a combination of both parents from each side. For LGBTQ+ weddings, both fathers of the grooms may be asked to give a speech or share the responsibility and do one together.
If the couple does not want any speeches from the bridal party, they can ask other family members to give a speech. The maid of honour and best man are traditional choices, but the couple can skip this and ask other members of the wedding party or siblings to give a speech. The couple can also give a joint thank-you speech.
The rehearsal dinner is another opportunity for speeches. It is an ideal time for the mother or father of the groom to speak since the groom's parents are traditionally responsible for hosting the rehearsal. The couple can also open the floor for guests to give speeches.
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Traditional wedding speech order
While there is a traditional wedding speech order, couples are increasingly choosing to mix up the order or skip it altogether. The traditional order is usually reserved for heterosexual couples, with same-sex couples encouraged to get creative with the order of speeches.
The traditional wedding speech order is as follows:
- Father of the bride: The father of the bride usually starts the speeches. He welcomes the guests, shares anecdotes about the bride, and gives a toast to the newlyweds.
- Groom: The groom responds to the father of the bride's toast and gives a speech. He may also give out thank-you gifts and say a few words about the wedding party.
- Best man: The best man's speech usually includes humour and anecdotes about the groom and the couple.
- Maid of honour/Bridesmaids: The maid of honour or bridesmaids can give a speech, sharing funny anecdotes about the bride.
Other Speakers
In addition to the core four speakers, other family members may also give speeches, including the mother of the bride, the father of the groom, and other members of the wedding party or siblings.
Same-Sex Weddings
For same-sex weddings, there is more flexibility and room for creativity. Both partners may speak, and other speakers could include the father of the groom, the mother of the bride, the maid of honour, or even the bride herself.
Tips for Speakers
Some tips for those giving a wedding speech include:
- Ask the person before you to introduce you so you don't have to introduce yourself.
- Coordinate with other speakers to avoid repeating jokes and anecdotes.
- Keep the speech respectful, warm, and witty.
- Share anecdotes, welcome your new child's partner into the family, and give thanks.
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Frequently asked questions
It is not required for fathers to give a speech during weddings. The content and order of speeches depend on the couple's preferences, family situation, and relationship with their parents.
The father of the bride, groom, best man, and maid of honour are among those who traditionally give a speech during weddings.
Yes, if there are two fathers of the groom, both can share anecdotes, welcome their partner, and welcome their new extended family.
Fathers typically start by welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming. They may also share a heartfelt anecdote about their child and offer words of wisdom to the newlyweds.
