Junior Rasmussen
The honeymoon period is a time for couples to get to know each other intimately and create memories before settling into their lives as a married couple. However, it is not uncommon for couples to have their first fights during this period. Relationship experts say that this doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage is doomed, but that the couple is normal. In fact, 22% of couples who argue on their honeymoon are more likely to continue to do so throughout their married lives. Common issues that couples face include jealousy, sex, children, career goals, time management, and communication.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Common | Yes |
| Reason | There could be any number of reasons, such as someone forgetting to pack something important, being late and missing a reservation, being drunk and feeling combative, etc. |
| Implications | Honeymoon couples who argue are more likely to have a stormy long-term marriage compared to newlyweds who hit it off. |
| Solutions | Patience, tolerance, love, and a true spirit of understanding for your partner. Address issues before they become bigger problems. |
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What You'll Learn
Public displays of affection
The extent to which you can be physically affectionate in public depends on the culture of the place you are visiting. In some places, strolling hand in hand, cuddling up in a cafe, or ducking into a doorway for a kiss might be harmless, but these actions can cause deep offence in more conservative countries. For example, holding hands is the extent of the public displays of affection tolerated in Thai society; kissing is frowned upon. Indonesia, as a predominantly Islamic country, is another place where local attitudes can be quite conservative. In the United Arab Emirates, strict decency laws prohibit any form of PDA, even holding hands.
In Asia, it is considered rude to touch anyone or anything with your feet, as the foot is considered the "lowest" part of the body. Putting your feet up on chairs is also disrespectful. Additionally, you should not touch people on the head, as that is where the soul is said to reside. In India, the Middle East, and Asia, avoid handling things, eating, or greeting someone with your left hand, as it is traditionally used for hygienic purposes and is therefore deemed unclean.
It is also important to be mindful of your behaviour towards the people you encounter during your honeymoon. Telling everyone you come in contact with that you are on your honeymoon can get annoying. Asking for freebies and discounts everywhere you go can put staff in an awkward position, and trying to get free things can be considered tacky, especially in another country.
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Fighting in public
Public fights can lead to feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, and resentment, not just for the couple but also for those around them. It is essential to be mindful of your surroundings and take steps to de-escalate the situation if you feel a fight brewing in public. This could mean excusing yourself temporarily, as the boyfriend in the above example did, to calm down and gain perspective.
It is also crucial to address any underlying issues that may be causing public fights. For example, if you find yourself constantly picking fights in public, it may be because you have irrational fears of your partner leaving you. Working on self-love and security can help quiet these detrimental thoughts and reduce the likelihood of public fights.
Additionally, maintaining your own life outside of your relationship is essential. Dropping all your hobbies and friends when you get into a new relationship can lead to hidden resentments that fuel ugly public fights. Pursuing your passions and continuing to cultivate your support network can help you put less pressure on your partner and improve your overall well-being.
Finally, it is worth noting that public fights on your honeymoon are not uncommon, and they do not necessarily mean your marriage is doomed. However, it is essential to keep these disagreements from escalating and to address any issues before they become more significant problems.
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Jealousy
It is not uncommon for couples to have arguments on their honeymoon. Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer notes that this does not mean the marriage is doomed but that the couple is normal. 22% of couples argue on their honeymoon and are more likely to continue to do so throughout their married lives.
Psychologist Dr. Robert Leahy defines jealousy as "angry, agitated worry," which is different from envy. Envy is a "discontented longing for someone else's advantages," while jealousy is an "unpleasant suspicion or apprehension of rivalship." Jealousy is a threat of loss, and it often reflects insecurity or thoughts of not feeling safe or at ease in the relationship.
To work through jealousy as a couple, it is important to talk openly about your feelings and come up with a plan that works for both of you. Addressing issues of jealousy can help improve communication and strengthen the relationship.
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Sex
The honeymoon is a time for couples to get to know each other intimately, away from any distractions. It is a time when love and dopamine hormones are at their peak, and couples are encouraged to explore their physical attraction and learn about each other's bodies.
However, it is important to manage expectations and not feel pressured to perform. Sexual relationships evolve over time, and it is perfectly normal to have questions and concerns. Communicating openly about sex, needs, and expectations is key. Couples should discuss their desires and comfort levels and be prepared with any items that make them feel sexy and comfortable, such as lingerie, lotions, oils, birth control, or toys.
It is also important to balance sexual activities with rest and relaxation. The honeymoon is a vacation, and sightseeing and exploring will likely take up some time as well. Planning the vacation to allow for de-stressing and intimate connections is essential.
Additionally, couples should be mindful of their public displays of affection (PDA). While it is understandable to want to cuddle and kiss, being too clingy or engaging in excessive PDA can be annoying to other travellers and staff.
Overall, the honeymoon is a special time for couples to celebrate their marriage and create lasting memories. By managing expectations, communicating openly, and balancing activities, couples can ensure a romantic and enjoyable honeymoon experience.
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Finances
Planning a honeymoon can be an exciting yet potentially tricky process, especially when it comes to navigating honeymoon expenses. Traditionally, the groom and his parents were expected to finance the honeymoon, but these norms have evolved, and contemporary couples often approach expenses as equal partners.
There are no wrong options when it comes to financing a honeymoon, and it is essential to consider the couple's financial situation and mutual decisions. Open communication about financial boundaries and trip desires is vital. Some couples opt for alternating responsibilities, with one partner covering the wedding expenses and the other taking charge of the honeymoon. Others may decide to share expenses based on their financial capacities, aiming for a fair distribution of costs.
To avoid financial stress, couples should discuss their financial expectations, goals, and preferences. They may choose to explore alternative funding options or embrace modern trends like honeymoon registries, where guests can contribute to specific aspects of the trip, such as activities, meals, or flights.
It is important to budget wisely and plan for unexpected costs. Couples can consider using credit cards that earn travel points or delaying the honeymoon to save up and truly focus on planning an affordable trip. By finding a solution that aligns with both partners' aspirations and financial well-being, couples can ensure that financial matters do not ruin their opportunity to bond and connect.
Overall, the key to successfully financing a honeymoon lies in open communication, joint decision-making, and crafting a financial plan that suits both partners' needs and aspirations.
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Frequently asked questions
It's not uncommon for couples to have arguments on their honeymoon. Relationship experts say that couples who argue during their honeymoon are more likely to continue to do so throughout their married lives.
There could be any number of reasons why couples fight on their honeymoon. Some common reasons include differences in sexual needs, jealousy, and household chores.
Couples can avoid fighting on their honeymoon by openly communicating their feelings, needs, and expectations. It is also important to keep in mind that they are not the only people in the world and should be mindful of their public displays of affection and interactions with others.
If couples do fight on their honeymoon, it is important to address the issues and work through them together. This can be done by practicing patience, tolerance, love, and understanding for one another. Seeking help from a relationship expert or coach can also be beneficial.
