Rhiannon Hendricks
Chinese weddings are steeped in tradition and superstition, with over 2,400 years of history. One of the most well-known superstitions is the belief that certain numbers, like four and seven, are unlucky and represent death. As a result, some Chinese weddings may skip tables numbered four and fourteen, as the Chinese word for four sounds similar to death. This belief also extends to wedding dates, with couples avoiding the 4th, 14th, 24th, 7th, 17th, and 27th days of the month. Other unlucky numbers include thirteen and fifteen, which are often skipped in Western weddings. Chinese weddings also feature other unique traditions like the tea ceremony, betrothal ceremony, and lively toasts known as Yam Seng.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Reason for skipping table 4 and 14 | The Chinese word for the number '4' sounds similar to the Chinese word for 'death' |
| Other unlucky numbers | 7, 13 |
| Alternative options | Tables can be named instead of numbered, e.g. after animals, cities, artists, flowers, love songs or colours |
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![The Knot Guide to Wedding Vows and Traditions [Revised Edition]: Readings, Rituals, Music, Dances, and Toasts](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81zk-i-TnpL._AC_UY218_.jpg)
What You'll Learn
- Chinese wedding superstitions include skipping unlucky table numbers
- Red is a symbol of happiness and fertility in Chinese weddings
- Leap months are considered lucky for Chinese weddings
- The groom and his family bring gifts to show respect
- The bride and groom's families meet formally during the Guo Da Li ceremony
Chinese wedding superstitions include skipping unlucky table numbers
Chinese wedding superstitions are rooted in culture and history, with over 2,400 years of evolution. These superstitions are meant to bless the newlyweds with happiness, fertility, prosperity, and longevity. One such superstition is the avoidance of the number four, as the Chinese word for 'four' sounds similar to the Chinese word for 'death'. As a result, some Chinese weddings may skip table numbers four and fourteen, as well as other numbers containing the digit four, such as thirteen.
In Chinese culture, certain numbers are considered unlucky as they represent death. Aside from the number four, the number seven is also believed to be unlucky. Therefore, couples may want to avoid having their weddings on dates that include these digits, such as the 4th, 14th, 24th, 7th, 17th, and 27th. Additionally, in the lunar calendar, March, July, and September are considered inauspicious months for weddings due to the presence of festivals related to death.
Another superstition in Chinese weddings is the belief that the couple should not see each other the day or night before the wedding. This tradition may seem outdated, but it is still followed by some couples who are superstitious. Red is also considered a symbol of good luck and happiness in Chinese weddings. Red tablecloths, "double happiness" signs, and red bedding for the couple are common decorations. Additionally, lily bulbs, lotus seeds, peanuts, and Chinese red dates are placed on the bed to represent fertility.
Choosing the right person to decorate the couple's bed is crucial. According to Chinese superstition, selecting the wrong person could bring misfortune to the couple. The decorator is usually invited by the bride's family and is considered a "blessed person," possessing qualities such as a happy family, good health, and wealth.
Chinese weddings are known for their lively toasts, where the emcee invites the couple, their families, and the bridal party on stage for a cheer called "Yam Seng." This tradition fosters a sense of community and celebration, with guests joining in the cheers and the couple greeting them at their tables.
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Red is a symbol of happiness and fertility in Chinese weddings
In Chinese culture, the colour red is a symbol of happiness and fertility. It is commonly featured in Chinese weddings, from the attire to the decor, and even the invitations. Red is believed to bring good luck and fortune to the bride and groom.
One way red is incorporated into Chinese weddings is through the "Double Happiness" symbol. This symbol is made of two symmetrical characters, each representing the standard Chinese character for "Happiness". Together, they are believed to bring double happiness and good fortune to the newlyweds. It is often displayed in red, either on its own or combined with gold, and can be found on invitations, banners, table centrepieces, and even red packets containing gifts of money.
Red is also associated with fertility in Chinese weddings. Red linens, fruits like pomegranates, and lotus seeds are placed on the couple's bed, symbolising fertility and abundance. Red dates, which are known for their sweetness, are also used in the tea ceremony and are believed to represent fertility and a sweet union.
Additionally, red envelopes, known as "hongbao", are often given to the couple during Chinese weddings. These envelopes typically contain money and are meant to bless the couple with prosperity. The act of giving and receiving these red envelopes is a cherished custom that symbolises the exchange of blessings and the importance of mutual support within the family.
The colour red is also associated with Chinese wedding attire. While the traditional wedding dress may vary depending on the region and the couple's personal preferences, red is often incorporated into the bride's outfit as a symbol of happiness and fertility.
Superstition also plays a role in the significance of the colour red in Chinese weddings. In Chinese culture, the number four is considered unlucky as its pronunciation is similar to the word for "death". As such, tables numbered four or fourteen may be skipped at Chinese wedding receptions to avoid any negative associations.
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Leap months are considered lucky for Chinese weddings
In Chinese traditional culture, the date of a wedding is of great importance. The season, natural surroundings, and specific solar terms are all taken into consideration when selecting an auspicious wedding date. Spring and Autumn are often considered ideal seasons for weddings. Spring, especially from March to May, symbolises new beginnings and vitality, while Autumn, from September to November, represents richness and prosperity.
In the lunar calendar, leap months are called "Runyue", which means harvest and abundance. They occur approximately every three years to synchronise with the solar calendar. Leap months are considered an additional period of cosmic blessing, especially suitable for weddings. They are believed to bring happiness, prosperity, and harmony to the couple, symbolising a rich and fulfilling married life.
While the Leap Month is considered auspicious, there are also specific numbers that are considered lucky or unlucky in Chinese culture. For example, the number "9" is favoured as its pronunciation is similar to the word "long-lasting". On the other hand, the number “4” is considered unlucky as it sounds similar to the word for "death", so dates like the 4th, 14th, and 24th are usually avoided for weddings.
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The groom and his family bring gifts to show respect
In Chinese weddings, the number '4' is often skipped when numbering tables as the Chinese word for 'four' sounds similar to the Chinese word for 'death'. Similarly, tables numbered 13 and 14 are also sometimes skipped.
In Chinese culture, the groom and his family play a significant role in the gift exchange rituals before and during the wedding. The groom's family traditionally starts the gift exchange by sending a gift basket to the bride's family home. This gift basket is often quite elaborate and includes betrothal gifts, which are considered an important part of Chinese wedding traditions. The groom's family presents these gifts to symbolise prosperity and good luck for the bride and her family.
The betrothal gifts can include a variety of items, such as foodstuffs like cakes, cookies, wine, oranges, tea, peanuts, and dates. These food items are often chosen because the Chinese words for "date" and "peanut" are near homonyms for "early" and "birth," respectively, symbolising the wish for the couple to have a child early in their marriage. Other gifts may include jewellery, such as gold earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings, which are often presented in red velvet-lined boxes.
During the betrothal ceremony, the groom's family also provides the bride price, which is given to the bride's family and varies from region to region. In Southern China, for example, the bride price is typically higher than in Northern China.
After receiving the gifts, the bride's family acknowledges the gesture by splitting the gifts in half and sending back half with additional gifts. This act of sharing symbolises the closeness and goodwill between the two families and confirms their commitment to the marriage.
On the wedding day, the bride's mother is traditionally presented with an uncooked pork leg as a sign of gratitude for her caretaking. Additionally, the groom is expected to give the bride a pair of matching dragon and phoenix bracelets, preferably made of gold, which symbolises a blissful union. These bracelets are to be worn during the wedding festivities.
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The bride and groom's families meet formally during the Guo Da Li ceremony
In Chinese culture, the Guo Da Li ceremony, also known as the Betrothal ceremony, is a formal event where the bride and groom's families meet and the groom presents gifts to the bride's family. This ceremony usually takes place 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding on an auspicious date. The groom is accompanied by a matchmaker or a senior female relative, who has good fortune, to the bride's home. The ceremony begins with the groom's elderly female relative congratulating the bride's parents and offering blessings for the couple.
The groom presents betrothal gifts, also known as the 'bride's price', to the bride's family. These gifts symbolise fertility and prosperity and include gift money. The bride's family accepts these gifts, representing their acceptance of the groom and their trust in his ability to be a good husband. The bride's family then returns a portion of the gifts to the groom's family, sharing their joy and acknowledging their generosity. This act is known as Hui Li and is accompanied by the presentation of the bride's dowry by her parents.
The Guo Da Li ceremony is not mandatory but is a cherished tradition for more conservative families, who may deny a marriage union if traditional rites are not honoured. The ceremony is an opportunity for both families to show respect and appreciation for each other and to strengthen their bond. Superstition plays a role in Chinese weddings, with table numbers 4 and 14 sometimes skipped due to the belief that the number 4 sounds similar to the word for 'death'.
The Guo Da Li ceremony also includes other customs such as the lighting of dragon and phoenix candles, the groom lifting the bride's veil with a traditional weighing rod, and the couple being sheltered under a red umbrella while outdoors. These rituals symbolise the couple's wishes for a blessed and protected life together.
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Frequently asked questions
In Chinese culture, the number "4" is considered unlucky as it sounds similar to the Chinese word for "death". Therefore, table 4 and table 14, which contain the number 4, are usually skipped at weddings.
Yes, the number "7" is also believed to be unlucky and associated with death. As a result, dates including the numbers 4 and 7, such as the 4th, 14th, 24th, 7th, 17th, and 27th, are typically avoided for weddings.
Yes, in Western cultures, the number 13 is often considered unlucky, and some people may choose to skip table 13 at weddings or other events. This belief is not limited to table numbers, as some buildings also skip the 13th floor when numbering floors.
