Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. There are a lot of expenses to consider, from the dress and accessories to hair and makeup, travel and accommodation. So, do bridesmaids also need to buy lingerie for the bride? The short answer is no, but it is a popular tradition. The maid of honour typically buys the bride's wedding-night lingerie and gifts it to her at the bridal shower. However, it is not an obligation, and bridesmaids should not feel pressured to spend beyond their means. It is perfectly acceptable to sit out certain events or gifts if the costs are too high.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Who buys the bride's lingerie | Traditionally, the maid of honour buys the lingerie for the bride's wedding night |
When is the lingerie gifted | The lingerie is often gifted at the bridal shower |
Who pays for bridesmaids' dresses | Bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories |
Average cost of a bridesmaid dress | $100 to upwards of $800 |
What You'll Learn
Who traditionally buys the bride's lingerie?
Traditionally, the maid of honour will buy the wedding-night lingerie for the bride. It is often given at the bridal shower. However, some bridesmaids may also chip in for the lingerie as a joint gift.
If you are a bridesmaid and are unable to afford the cost of the lingerie, it is perfectly acceptable to speak to the bride or maid of honour about this. Being a bridesmaid can be a costly business, and it is normal and encouraged to be honest about what you can realistically afford.
If you are a bride, it is your responsibility to let your bridesmaids know about all upcoming financial responsibilities from the get-go. You should also be mindful that your bridesmaids may be attending multiple weddings in one year, so try to be considerate of their budgets.
Ultimately, there are no steadfast rules about who buys the bride's lingerie, and it is a matter of personal preference and budget.
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How much do bridesmaids spend on average?
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. On average, a bridesmaid in the United States can expect to spend $1,500, depending on location. The Northeast region is the most expensive, with bridesmaids shelling out $1,466 on average, while the Midwest is the least expensive at $1,178.
The biggest expenses for bridesmaids include the bridesmaid dress, travel and lodging, hair and makeup, wedding gifts, and pre-wedding events such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower. Let's break down the costs:
Clothing and Prep: $381
The bridesmaid dress alone can cost around $165, with alterations adding another $70. Hair and makeup can cost around $89, shoes $71, and accessories $56.
Pre-Wedding Events: $700+
The bachelorette party can cost around $308, while the bridal shower is approximately $193. These costs can vary depending on the location and activities planned.
Wedding Expenses: $442
Travel and lodging for the wedding itself can cost around $317. A wedding gift for the couple is also expected, with an average spend of $125.
Total Average Spend: $1,324
Factoring in all these expenses, the average total spend for a bridesmaid in the US is around $1,324. However, this can vary depending on location and the specific expectations of the bride.
It's important to note that being a bridesmaid is not just a financial commitment but also a time and effort commitment. There may be additional costs for hosting duties, planning, and attending various pre-wedding events.
To manage costs, bridesmaids can consider options like choosing their own dresses within a specified colour scheme, wearing their own shoes and accessories, or going in on group gifts with other bridesmaids. Open communication with the bride and the rest of the bridal party is key to managing expectations and budgeting effectively.
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Is it compulsory for bridesmaids to buy the bride a gift?
While it is not explicitly compulsory for bridesmaids to buy the bride a gift, it is certainly expected. There are a lot of expenses associated with being a bridesmaid, and the cost of gifts is just one of them. On average, a bridesmaid spends around $700 in the lead-up to the wedding, and that doesn't include travel costs or costs associated with hosting a shower or attending the bachelorette party.
Bridesmaids are traditionally expected to pay for their dresses and accessories, hair and makeup appointments, and transportation to the wedding. They may also be expected to chip in for the bride's expenses during the bachelorette party. With all these expenses, it can be a financial strain to also have to buy multiple gifts for the bride. However, if you are a bridesmaid, it is considered good etiquette to give the bride a gift, even if it's something small and inexpensive.
If you are unable to afford all the expenses associated with being a bridesmaid, it is important to be honest and upfront with the bride. It is also a nice gesture to contribute in other ways, such as assisting with planning duties or day-of tasks if you are unable to attend all the events.
One way to save money on gifts is to go in with the other bridesmaids on a group gift. You can also buy a multi-part gift and give the bride one piece at each event, or pick a theme and buy small, inexpensive gifts that together create a thoughtful curated gift. Another option is to simply buy the cheapest item off the registry, as the bride will still appreciate the gesture.
Ultimately, the most important gift you can give the bride as a bridesmaid is your presence, and she will understand if you are unable to afford all the associated costs.
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What are some gift options for bridesmaids on a budget?
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. Aside from the cost of events and outfits, there are other financial expectations, like gifts. Here are some thoughtful and budget-friendly options for bridesmaids' gifts:
Gifts Under $30
- Personalized compact mirrors
- Birthstone and initial bracelets
- Personalized tumblers with straws
- Monogrammed clutches/crossbody bags
- Personalized canvas makeup bags
- Mini chocolate brownie packs
- Mimosa sugar cubes
- Custom-scented candles
- Personalized hangers
- Lavender-scented sleep masks
- Custom illustration prints
- Travel jewellery cases
- Personalized wine glasses
Gifts Under $20
- Heart-shaped sunglasses
- Personalized notebooks
- Makeup brush sets
- Custom compact mirrors
- Matching bridal party socks
- Personalized tote bags
- Eye masks with names
Gifts Under $10
- Personalized ballpoint pens
- Custom luggage tags
- Hand-poured candles
- Personalized keychains
- Custom wine bottle stoppers
Being a bridesmaid is about more than just monetary obligations. If you can't afford a gift, you can offer support by assisting with planning duties or day-of tasks. It's also normal and encouraged to be honest about what you can realistically afford.
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What are the alternatives to lingerie?
While lingerie is a popular gift for bridesmaids to give to the bride, it can be an expensive option. If you're looking for alternatives to give to the bride, here are some ideas:
Clothing
Bridesmaids can gift the bride clothing items such as robes, button-down shirts, oversized T-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, sweatpants, leggings, shorts, or jumpsuits. These can be customised with monograms or fun phrases like "bride squad". Clothing items can be a more affordable option than lingerie and can be worn again, making them a practical gift.
Accessories
If you want to give the bride something special to wear on her wedding day, consider accessories such as jewellery, shoes, or a cute denim jacket. These can be more affordable than lingerie and can add a personalised touch to the bride's overall look.
Group Gifts
If you're looking to save money, consider joining forces with the other bridesmaids to purchase a group gift. This could be a piece of jewellery, a gift card, or even a contribution towards the bride's expenses for the bachelorette party. Group gifts can take the financial pressure off individual bridesmaids while still showing the bride your support and appreciation.
Personalised Items
Personalised or handmade gifts are another alternative to lingerie. You could create a recipe book with contributions from friends and family or assemble an album of photos from pre-wedding festivities. These thoughtful gifts are often less expensive than lingerie and can be cherished by the bride long after the wedding.
Registry Items
If you're unsure what to give the bride, consider purchasing an item from her wedding registry. This could be kitchen utensils, baking pans, or even a colander. While these items may not be as glamorous as lingerie, they are practical and will surely be appreciated by the bride.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the maid of honour will buy the wedding-night lingerie for the bride. It is often given at the bridal shower.
Lingerie can get pricey really quickly. It is another great opportunity to go in with a friend on a joint gift to save a little money.
If the bride is very particular about her lingerie, it is best to let her buy her own.
Aside from lingerie, bridesmaids are also expected to get the bride a gift for the bridal shower and the wedding.