
There are many ways to make a wedding informal. One way is to have a small destination wedding with a maximum of 26 people. Another way is to skip traditional activities such as first dances, speeches, cake cutting, and formal announcements of the newly married couple. Instead, some couples choose to mingle with their guests during cocktail hour, allowing them to express their gratitude and socialize before dinner and dancing begin.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Do a wedding task informally | Ush |
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What You'll Learn

Choose a non-traditional venue, like a museum or your own backyard
If you're looking for a unique and informal wedding venue, why not choose a non-traditional space that reflects your interests and personality? Here are some ideas to consider:
Museums and Libraries:
Small local museums and libraries can be a great option for an intimate and unique wedding. You can investigate your local museums, such as a train museum or a natural history museum, or even tie the knot at your public library if they host weddings. This option can be more affordable than traditional venues, but be sure to inquire about what the rental includes to get an accurate cost comparison.
Your Own Backyard:
A backyard wedding is inherently personal and intimate. You can use your family's furniture and sentimental items in the design and let your home be the star of your photos. If you have a large backyard, spread the celebration across the entire space, mixing table shapes and seating areas. Decorate with flowers that complement the existing landscaping, and don't forget to create a romantic ambiance with lighting. If you're hosting a tented celebration, add flowers and greenery to the draping for a whimsical touch.
Other Non-Traditional Venues:
- A vintage railway station or an old train station
- A large log cabin or lodge
- A barn
- A park, especially if you have a smaller guest list
- An arcade, bowling alley, or yacht
- A theater, auditorium, or local high school theater
Remember, non-traditional venues can vary in cost. Some may be cheaper than traditional venues, especially if they already have tables, chairs, staff, and other basics included. However, unique and sought-after venues like famous museums may be more expensive, so be sure to inquire about pricing and what's included.
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Opt for a cocktail-style reception with drinks and hors d'oeuvres
A cocktail-style wedding reception is a great way to save money and have a more casual celebration with your guests. It typically lasts 3 to 4 hours and can include as many wedding traditions as you like. Here are some ideas and instructions to help you plan a fantastic cocktail-style reception:
Invitations and Expectations
When inviting your guests, clearly state that the reception will feature cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing. This will help set expectations and let guests know that they can eat and drink at their leisure.
Timeline and Flow
Create a timeline that suits your needs and preferences. You can choose to take photos with your wedding party and each other before the cocktail hour begins, or make a grand entrance later. During the cocktail hour, guests can enjoy drinks and hors d'oeuvres without feeling hungry or obligated to stay for the entire night. After the cocktail hour, you can proceed with traditional elements such as the first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, and bouquet tosses. Keep the photo booth open all night for guests to capture memorable moments.
Seating Arrangements
For a cocktail-style reception, you don't need seating for every guest. If your reception lasts 2 to 3 hours, plan seating for 20% of your guests. If it's longer, plan for 50% of your guests to have seats. Mix and match seating styles to make the reception area more visually interesting.
Food and Drinks
Cocktail-style receptions typically feature heavy passed hors d'oeuvres and food stations, allowing guests to eat when and what they like. Here are some ideas for delicious hors d'oeuvres:
- One-bite snacks on skewers, such as fried asparagus or button mushrooms, allowing guests to easily hold a drink in one hand.
- Small, bite-sized versions of favourite foods, like sliders, corn dogs, or pizza.
- More adventurous or unique dishes that communicate your culture or a special message, such as fried okra with a yogurt crema dip served in wine glasses.
- Signature cocktails can be premixed and garnished when ordered, saving money and simplifying service.
A cocktail-style reception gives you the freedom to be creative and make your own rules while ensuring your guests have a wonderful time celebrating with you.
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Make it a surprise wedding
Planning a surprise wedding can be a fun alternative to a traditional wedding, but it requires careful planning and organisation. Here are some tips to help you pull off a surprise wedding:
The Invitation:
Word your invitations carefully to maintain the surprise. Go for casual, vague, and warm wording that doesn't give away the surprise but still conveys the formality and dress code. For example, you could say, "Join us for a celebration of love and friendship," and request "dressy-casual" or "cocktail attire" instead of full wedding gear. Send out the invitations four to six weeks before the event, earlier than a wedding but later than a typical social gathering, to avoid raising suspicion.
The Setting:
Choose a setting that feels natural for a party but can still have a wedding vibe. Consider a backyard, a beach, a park, a rooftop with a view, a bookstore, or a favourite café. These locations offer a unique and intimate atmosphere with minimal fuss.
The Reveal:
Make the reveal a reflection of your style. You can keep it simple or go for a theatrical moment. Unveiling a hidden "Welcome to Our Wedding!" sign just before the ceremony is a fun way to surprise your guests.
The Details:
Focus on a few meaningful details that will make the day special. Heartfelt and personal vows, music that speaks to you, and simple decor like string lights, candles, and flowers can create a beautiful and memorable atmosphere. Signature cocktails and late-night snacks, such as pizza or truffle fries, are also great ways to add a personal touch.
The Memories:
Capture the priceless reactions of your guests as they realise it's a wedding. Hire a photographer and videographer to capture the candid moments, the reveal from different angles, and the traditional portrait and family photos. These will be your most precious keepsakes.
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Have a small guest list for a more intimate setting
Keeping the guest list small for a wedding can be a challenging task, but it is a great way to create a more intimate setting and foster a sense of connection among the guests. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:
Firstly, decide on the venue and guest list simultaneously. The venue's capacity will naturally limit the number of guests you can invite. Opt for a venue with a cosy and intimate space that complements your small guest list. Consider a destination wedding, which is typically associated with a smaller group of guests, allowing you to invite only your nearest and dearest.
Next, be intentional about the number of plus-ones you offer. Limit them to guests who are married, engaged, in your wedding party, or in serious long-term relationships. This helps to keep the guest list manageable while respecting the relationships of your guests.
When creating your guest list, start with your closest friends and family. These are the people who have been by your side through thick and thin and are long-standing members of your life. You may also consider giving them plus-ones for their long-term partners. Then, move on to extended family, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins. If you have room, add old school friends and recent friends you are growing closer to. Work colleagues can also be considered, but remember, just because you see them often doesn't mean they need to be invited.
Remember, it's okay to say no and stick to your decisions. Don't feel pressured to invite everyone you know. A small wedding allows you to focus on the quality of relationships and create a more intimate atmosphere. Be consistent and upfront about your plus-one policy, and don't be afraid to set boundaries. It's your special day, and you can choose to celebrate it with only those closest to you.
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Encourage guests to wear what they like within a chosen colour palette
Asking your wedding guests to wear a specific colour palette is a growing trend. It can create a visually harmonious atmosphere, allowing guests to blend seamlessly with the event's aesthetic. However, it's important to consider that some guests may not own formalwear in the colours you've chosen, and they may not have the financial means to buy something new.
To encourage guests to wear what they like within a chosen colour palette, it's best to keep things optional and flexible. You could suggest a colour palette and let guests know that they are welcome to incorporate these colours into their outfits or accessories if they wish. This can be done by including a note with the invitations or on your wedding website, such as: "We kindly invite you to join in the wedding's colour palette by wearing or accessorising with these colours if you'd like to: [list of colours]".
You could also share a photo or Pinterest board with the colours you have in mind, rather than just listing the colours, as this may be more inspiring for your guests. It's also a good idea to choose colours that are not too specific or unusual, as guests are more likely to already have outfits in these colours. For example, elegant neutrals like champagne, soft grey, ivory, and taupe, or coastal blues like sky blue, navy, and seafoam green.
Remember, the goal is to encourage rather than enforce, so embracing a relaxed attitude will make the experience more enjoyable for all. Not every guest will adhere to the colour palette, and that's okay! It's meant to be a fun guideline, not a strict rule.
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